Zamkati
- Makhalidwe 10 a bwenzi labwino
- 1. Amagawana nanu kulumikizana kwamphamvu kwamalingaliro
- 2. Amasonyeza chikondi chenicheni
- 3. Amakulemekezani
- 4. Amawonetsa kudzipereka kosagwedezeka
- 5. Amalankhulana momasuka
- 6. Ndiwo abwenzi anu apamtima
- 7. Amagawana nanu chidwi chokhudzana ndi kugonana
- 8. Amakupatsani chidwi chenicheni
- 9. Amayamikira lingaliro lokhulupirirana
- 10. Amakhululuka
- Ubale ndiwokhudza kukula
Aliyense ali ndi zokonda zake pankhani ya zomwe zimapangitsa kukhala bwenzi labwino. Mukudziwa zomwe mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu amawoneka, koma sizitanthauza zomwe mukufuna komanso zomwe mumafunikira nthawi zonse zimakhala chimodzimodzi.
Nanga makhalidwe a bwenzi labwino m'banja ndi ati?
Zachidziwikire, bwenzi labwino ndi munthu amene amakuchitirani zabwino ndikupangitsani kuti mumveke bwino, koma palinso zina zambiri zofunika kukhala ndi bwenzi labwino kuti musayang'ane.
Pitilizani kuwerenga kuti mupeze mawonekedwe 10 abwino kwambiri a bwenzi labwino pamoyo.
Makhalidwe 10 a bwenzi labwino
Nazi zomwe zalembedwa pamikhalidwe 10 mwa mnzanu yomwe muyenera kuyisamala. Makhalidwe a bwenzi labwino adzakuthandizani kupeza munthu woyenera, zomwe zithandizira kuti mukhale osangalala komanso athanzi.
1. Amagawana nanu kulumikizana kwamphamvu kwamalingaliro
Kugawana kulumikizana kwamphamvu ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna ndi chimodzi mwazofunikira za bwenzi labwino.
Mukagawana zachikondi kapena ubale wapakati, zikutanthauza kuti inu ndi mnzanu mumagawana kulumikizana komwe kumapita mozama. Mumagawana zachikondi, kukondana, kusiririka ndipo mwina mumatha kulumikizana ndiuzimu.
Mukamakondana kwambiri ndi mnzanu, mumatha:
- Khalani osatetezeka osawopa kuweruzidwa
- Khalani omasuka kukhala chete limodzi
- Khulupiranani wina ndi mnzake mosazengereza
- Khalani otetezeka mu ubale wanu
- Muzilankhulana momasuka komanso moona mtima
Mumakondana ndi wokondedwa wanu mukamacheza nthawi yabwino.
2. Amasonyeza chikondi chenicheni
Kwa anthu ambiri, kukonda thupi ndikofunikira muubwenzi wabwino. Kukhudza kumatipangitsa kumva kuti ndife okondedwa ndi anzathu ndipo kumatipangitsa kuti tizigonana.
Chimodzi mwazikhalidwe zabwino kwambiri zothandizana nawo ndizotheka kukhala achikondi popanda kugonana.
Journal of Health and Social Behaeve idapeza kuti kukondana ndikabwino kwa mabanja. Chikondi chakuthupi chimatulutsa hormone yotchedwa oxytocin, yomwe imathandizira kuthetsa nkhawa, kukwera kwamalingaliro, komanso kulumikizana pakati pa abwenzi.
Kupindula ndi wokondedwa wanu sikutanthauza kuti muli ndi chilumikizano chachikulu. Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti kungogwirana chanza, kukumbatirana pakama, kapenanso kutikita minofu kuchokera kwa mnzanu kumalimbikitsa kukondana.
3. Amakulemekezani
Chikondi chimangopitilira momwe mumamverera mwachikondi komanso mosangalala mukakhala ndi mnzanu - koma chimodzi mwazikhalidwe zapamwamba za wokwatirana wabwino ndi ulemu.
Ngati wokondedwa wanu amakulemekezani, zikutanthauza kuti amalemekeza malire anu onse, kaya ali okhudzika, ogonana, kapena akuthupi.
Kodi malirewa amatanthauza chiyani?
Malire amalingaliro: Izi ndizomwe zimakuthandizani kuti mukhale omasuka komanso otetezeka mu ubale wanu. Ngati wokondedwa wanu ali ndi ulemu wamalingaliro, zikutanthauza kuti sadzachita chilichonse kuti akupwetekeni mtima mwadala. Amakuthandizani ndipo amakusamalirani bwino.
Malire ogonana: Wokondedwa wanu amalemekeza zomwe mukufuna ndipo sakufuna kuchita pakati pa mapepala. Sayesa kukukakamizani kuti muchite kapena kukuimbani mlandu kuti muchite zomwe simukukhulupirira.
Malire akuthupi: Mnzanu sayenera kukumenyani. Ngati amalemekeza malire anu, zikutanthauza kuti sadzakuzunzani mwanjira iliyonse. Izi zimaphatikizapo mitundu yonse yakuzunzidwa, kuyambira kukumenyani mpaka kugwira dzanja lanu m'njira yomwe imakupangitsani kuti musakhale omasuka.
Chimodzi mwazofunikira kwambiri za bwenzi labwino ndikuti amakuwonetsani ulemu. Ndipo ngati mwapeza imodzi, musawasiye!
4. Amawonetsa kudzipereka kosagwedezeka
Chimodzi mwazinthu zabwino kwambiri za bwenzi labwino ndikudzipereka kwawo kosasunthika kwa wokondedwa wawo.
Mnzanu yemwe si wokhulupirika adzakusiyani mukumva kuti mulibe chitetezo. Mukakhala ndi munthu yemwe mukudziwa kuti simungamukhulupirire, nsanje, kukayikirana, komanso kusweka mtima zidzakhala gawo ladziko lonse lapansi.
Mbali inayi, kukhala ndi munthu yemwe amadzipereka kwa inu kumakusiyani inu kumverera okondedwa ndi okhutira mu ubale wanu.
Ubwino wokhala muubwenzi wodzipereka ndi monga:
- Kukhazikitsa maziko olimba amtsogolo mwanu
Ngati mukudziwa kuti mnzanu akhoza kuchita, simudzaopa kuchita nawo zinthu zofunika kwambiri, monga kukwatiwa, kusamukira limodzi, kapena kuyamba banja.
- Kugonana kotetezeka
Mukakhala pachibwenzi, mumakhala ndi mwayi wochepa kwambiri wodwala matenda opatsirana pogonana kuchokera kwa mnzanu.
- Simuyenera kuopa kukangana
M'malo mongodandaula kuti mudzathetsa mukamamenyetsana pang'ono, khalani ndi chidaliro kuti wokondedwa wanu azikhala ndi msana wanu - ngakhale simukugwirizana pazinthu zina.
- Ndinu osangalala
Kudzipereka kumabweretsa sewero lambiri pachibwenzi. Pamene inu ndi mnzanu muli odzipereka mwamtendere kuukwati umodzi, simudzadandaula za komwe ali kapena omwe akucheza nawo.
5. Amalankhulana momasuka
Ndiye, nchiyani chimapanga wokwatirana wabwino?
Journal of Marriage and Family ikuti kulumikizana pakati pa okwatirana kumaneneratu za kukhutira muukwati. Mabanja akamalankhulana kwambiri, amakhala osangalala.
Kulankhulana kumathandiza kupewa kusiyana kwakung'ono kuti kungayambitse mikangano.
Ngati maanja ali omasukilana ndi owona mtima momwe akumvera, amatha kukhala limodzi ndikuthetsa mavuto-modekha ndi mwaulemu.
Kulumikizana sikungothetsa mavuto chabe - kumangokhala kugawana nthano, maloto, ndi zolinga.
Mukamalankhula, mumachita izi:
- Dziwani zosowa za mnzanu
- Nenani zokhumba zanu
- Lonjezerani kukondana kwamaganizidwe
- Limbikitsani kuona mtima
- Pangani mnzanu kudzimva wapadera
- Dulani machitidwe olakwika
Akamakambirana kwambiri ndikamadziwana bwino, ubale wawo umakhala wokulira kotero kulankhulana momasuka ndichimodzi mwazofunikira kwambiri za bwenzi labwino.
6. Ndiwo abwenzi anu apamtima
Maubwenzi achikondi ndi odabwitsa, koma sizitanthauza kuti mukufuna kukhala pachibwenzi 24/7.
Chimodzi mwazofunikira kwambiri za bwenzi labwino ndicho maziko aubwenzi.
Pali umboni wamphamvu wosonyeza kuti maanja amakhala osangalala akakhala mabwenzi apamtima. Kafukufuku wofalitsidwa ndi The Journal of Happiness Studies adapeza kuti "kukhutira ndi moyo" kunali "kuwirikiza kawiri kwa iwo omwe mnzawo ndi mnzawo wapamtima."
Mukakhala ndi mnzanu, mumalankhula, kusewera, komanso kuseka limodzi. Izi ndizabwino pachibwenzi chanu popeza kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti kuseka komwe kumagawana kumapangitsa maanja kukhala othandizika komanso okhutira limodzi.
Ubwenzi ndi maziko abwino a ubale wabwino. Zimatsimikizira kuti mgwirizano wanu ndi wokwanira ndipo mumakhala ndi chisangalalo komanso ubale, kuphatikiza kukondana komanso kugonana.
7. Amagawana nanu chidwi chokhudzana ndi kugonana
Chimodzi mwazofunikira za bwenzi labwino ndikuti amagawana nanu zosangalatsa.
Kukondana sikuti kumangotulutsa mahomoni ogwirizana a oxytocin, komanso kumakupangitsani kumva kuti mukufuna, kumalimbitsa chidaliro, ndikupanga kulumikizana kwapadera pakati pa inu ndi mnzanu.
Kulankhulana kudzakhala bwenzi lanu lapamtima pankhani yakugonana modabwitsa. Muyenera kukhala omasuka mokwanira ndi mnzanu kuti mukambirane malire, mufufuze zokonda zanu, ndikulankhula zosowa zanu m'chipinda chogona.
Phindu lina? Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti kulumikizana kwakukulu kwakugonana kumapangitsa kuti azimayi azikhala pafupipafupi komanso kukhutira kwambiri amuna ndi akazi.
Mnzanu wabwino ndi munthu amene amakulemekezani kuchipinda ndipo amasamala zosowa zanu. Makina ena abwino ogonana samapweteka, mwina!
8. Amakupatsani chidwi chenicheni
Chimodzi mwazinthu zotsitsimula kwambiri kuti muyang'ane mwa munthu ndi yemwe amakupatsani chidwi chonse.
Kodi pali china chilichonse chokhumudwitsa kuposa kuyankhulana ndi mnzanu pomwe akusewera pafoni?
Yunivesite ya Sussex idasindikiza kafukufuku yemwe anthu ochulukirapo adayikidwa pazowunika za MRI. Zotsatira zaubongo zidawulula kuti anthu omwe amathera nthawi pazinthu zingapo (kulemberana mameseji ndikuyankhula / kugwiritsa ntchito piritsi akawonera kanema wawayilesi, ndi zina zambiri) samamvera chisoni komanso samatha kuwongolera anzawo kuposa omwe amangoganizira chinthu chimodzi nthawi imodzi.
Limodzi mwa mikhalidwe yayikulu kwambiri yomwe mungayang'anire mnzanu ndi munthu yemwe sangachite mantha kuyika zida zawo pansi ndikupatseni chidwi chogawana. Adzakhala ndi nthawi yokambirana, kudziwa kumvera, ndipo sangakusokonezeni mukamalankhula.
9. Amayamikira lingaliro lokhulupirirana
Chimodzi mwazinthu zazikulu kwambiri za bwenzi labwino ndicho chikhulupiriro chawo mwa kukhulupirirana wina ndi mnzake.
Maanja amapanga kukhulupilirana muukwati aka:
- Muzinena zoona nthawi zonse
- Kodi ndiowona malonjezo awo
- Dziwani momwe mungalankhulire pazovuta zawo
- Mungavomereze kuti alakwitsa ndikupepesa chifukwa cha izo
- Ndi odalirika komanso odalirika
- Mangani chibwenzi chamalingaliro
- Lonjezerani chidaliro kwa inu
Kukhulupirirana ndi kuwona mtima ndizofunikira komanso zofunika paubwenzi.
10. Amakhululuka
Chimodzi mwazinthu zabwino kwambiri za bwenzi labwino ndikuti amakhululukirana.
Kukhululukira munthu amene wakupweteketsani kwambiri ndi chinthu champhamvu kwambiri, chovuta kwambiri kuchita.
Ambiri aife timakhala ndi chizolowezi chokhululukira anzathu, koma kungolongedza zolakwazo ndikuwakumbutsa momwe amakupwetekerani mtsogolo. Uku sikukhululuka kwenikweni.
Kukhululuka koona kumaphatikizapo:
- Kuzindikira kupwetekedwa ndikukonzekera kusakhulupirika
- Kuganizira mosamala momwe chisankho cha mnzanu chakukhudzirani
- Kukambirana nkhaniyi
- Kufika kumapeto kwa chifukwa chake zidachitika
- Kulandira kupepesa kochokera kwa mnzanu
- Kudziwa ngati mungakhululukire cholakwacho kapena ayi
- Kukonza ndi kulimbitsa ubale wanu
- Kukhululuka nkhaniyo osabwereranso
Mnzanu wokhwima mwauzimu, wokondedwa ndi amene angakukhululukireni zolakwa zanu, kaya ndi zazikulu kapena zazing'ono.
Ubale ndiwokhudza kukula
Makhalidwe abwino mwa mnzanu ali ndi chikondi komanso kudalirana.
Makhalidwe abwino kwambiri mwa munthu ndi chikondi, kukhululuka, luso lolankhulana, kudalirana, kudzipereka, komanso ubwenzi - osanenapo za kugonana komanso kukhudzika mtima.
Makhalidwe abwino omwe ali pamwambapa sachita kapena samwalira. Osamachita thukuta ngati mnzanu alibe zonse zomwe zili pamwambapa.
Kumbukirani: Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu alibe makhalidwe onse a bwenzi labwino tsopano, sizitanthauza kuti sangadzakhale okwatirana naye nthawi yayitali mukakhala limodzi.