Zamkati
Kungonena zachidziwikire, maubale amatha kukhala opindulitsa koma siophweka. Ndiwo maulendo omwe atha kubweretsa zovuta koyambirira, pakati, komanso kumapeto. Ndikufuna kugawana nawo patsamba lino zovuta ndi zinthu zingapo zofunika kukumbukira, monga maanja akuyenda motere.
Chiyambi
Kuti tiyambe chibwenzi tifunikira kuthana ndi mantha ndikukayika, zakale ndi zatsopano, zomwe zimasokoneza. Kuyika pachiwopsezo chotseguka komanso kuwonongeka nthawi zina kumakhala kovuta. Kodi timakhala otetezeka mokwanira kuloleza wina kulowa? Kodi timalola kukonda ena ndi kukondedwa? Kodi tiyenera kukhala pachiwopsezo chofotokozera zakukhosi kwathu ngakhale tili ndi mantha - kapena mwina kuyembekezera- kukanidwa ndi kuwawa?
Ambiri mwa anthu omwe ndidagwira nawo ntchito yanga adalimbana ndi mafunso awa. Ena amakhulupirira kuti kutengeka kwawo ndikokulirapo, ndi osowa kwambiri, kapena katundu wawo ndi wovuta kwambiri, ndipo amadzifunsa ngati zikhala zochulukirapo. Ena, mbali inayi, amamva ngati pali china cholakwika ndi iwo ndikudzifunsa ngati adzakwanilitsa. Ena amakhala ndi chinsinsi chachikulu komanso manyazi akulu nawo, ndikudabwa: ngati kwenikweni adandidziwa, akathawa?
Mafunso awa si achilendo, koma nthawi zina amatha kufooka. Mayankho ake siosavuta ndipo sangadziwike pasadakhale. Kudziwa kukayika kwathu, mantha, ziyembekezo, ndi zolinga, kuzilandira ngati gawo lathu, ndikumvetsetsa komwe zimachokera, ndi njira zoyambirira zothandizira. Ngakhale kudzizindikira ndikofunikira, nthawi zina titha kuganiza mopitirira muyeso, chifukwa chake ndikofunikira kumvera malingaliro athu, mtima wathu, ndi thupi lathu. Kudziyang'ana tokha mwa chikondi ndi kukoma mtima ndikofunikanso, kuti tidziwe zomwe zili zofunika kwa ife muubwenzi, zomwe tikufuna, komanso malire athu.
Middles
Nthawi yochuluka yomwe timagwiritsa ntchito limodzi ndi bwenzi lathu, timakhala ndi mwayi wochuluka wolumikizana komanso kukondana, komanso kukangana ndi kukhumudwitsidwa. Mbiri yomwe imagawidwa kwambiri, pamakhala mipata yambiri yoyandikira ndikupanga tanthauzo limodzi, komanso kusunga mkwiyo kapena kumva kuwawa. Chilichonse chomwe chingachitike kwa maanja omwe akhazikika ndi gawo la zinthu zitatu: anthu awiriwo komanso ubale womwewo.
Zoyambirira ziwiri ndi zokumana nazo za munthu aliyense, malingaliro ake, ndi momwe akumvera. Izi zitanthauzira zomwe munthu aliyense amakhulupirira kuti akufuna ndikufunafuna kuchokera ku chibwenzi, ndi momwe angakwaniritsire kupeza malo apakati. Mwachitsanzo, nthawi ina ndinali ndi kasitomala yemwe, miyezi ingapo asanakwatirane, anandiuza kuti: "Ndikufuna kuchita zomwe abambo anga adachita ndi amayi anga: Ndikungofuna, kuti ndipeze njira yowanyalanyaza." Anthu omwe tidakhala nawo m'miyoyo yathu nthawi zambiri amatanthauzira, mosazindikira kapena ayi, zomwe timakhulupirira kuti maubale ndizokhudza.
Ubale womwewo ndi chinthu chachitatu, ndipo ndi chokulirapo kuposa kuchuluka kwa ziwalo zake. Mwachitsanzo, chidwi chomwe ndawonapo nthawi zambiri chimatha kutchedwa "wothamangitsa," momwe munthu m'modzi angafunire Zambiri kuchokera kwa winayo (kukondana kwambiri, chidwi chochulukirapo, kulumikizana kwambiri, nthawi yochulukirapo, ndi zina zambiri), ndipo winayo ndiwopewa kapena kupewa, mwina chifukwa akumva kuti sakupeza bwino, wathedwa nzeru, kapena wamantha. Izi nthawi zina zimabweretsa gridlock muubwenzi, zimasokoneza mwayi wokambirana, ndipo zimatha kuyambitsa mkwiyo mbali zonse ziwiri.
Zomwe tingachite ngati katundu wathu ndi mnzathu zikuwoneka kuti sizikugwirizana? Palibe yankho limodzi chifukwa banja ndi chinthu chovuta kusintha. Komabe, ndikofunikira kukhala ndi malingaliro otseguka komanso okonda kudziwa za zomwe mnzathu wakumana nazo, malingaliro, malingaliro, zosowa, maloto, ndi zolinga zake. Kuzindikira ndi kulemekeza zosiyana zathu ndikofunikira kuti timvetsetse. Kutenga umwini ndiudindo pazomwe timachita ndi zomwe timanena (kapena osanena), komanso kukhala omasuka kuti tilandire mayankho, ndikofunikira kuti tikhalebe ndi ubale wolimba komanso chitetezo komanso kudalira ubalewo.
Kutha
Mapeto amakhala osavuta konse. Nthawi zina kuvutikira kumangokhala pakufunitsitsa kapena kutha kuthetsa chibwenzi chomwe chimamveka chofooka, sichikwaniritsa zosowa zathu, kapena chakhala choopsa kapena chankhanza. Nthawi zina chovuta ndikulimbana ndi kutha kwa chibwenzi, ngakhale zitakhala zosankha zathu, chisankho cha mnzathu, kapena chifukwa cha zochitika m'moyo zomwe sitingathe kuzilamulira.
Chiyembekezo chothetsa chibwenzi chimakhala chovuta, makamaka patakhala nthawi yayitali limodzi. Kodi tikupanga chisankho mwachangu? Kodi palibe njira iliyonse yomwe tingachitire izi? Kodi ndingayimirenso zochuluka motani? Kodi ndakhala ndikuyembekezera motalika kwambiri kale? Kodi ndingathane bwanji ndi kusatsimikizika uku? Awa ndi ena mwa mafunso omwe ndidamvapo kangapo. Monga wothandizira, siine ntchito yanga kuti ndiwayankhe, koma kukhala ndi makasitomala anga akamalimbana nawo, kuwathandiza kuthana nawo, kumvetsetsa, ndikumvetsetsa tanthauzo la zomwe zachitikazo.
Nthawi zambiri izi zimakhala zopanda nzeru komanso zowoneka bwino. Maganizo osiyanasiyana atuluka, nthawi zambiri motsutsana ndi malingaliro athu. Chikondi, kudziimba mlandu, mantha, kunyada, kupewa, chisoni, kukhumudwa, mkwiyo, ndi chiyembekezo - titha kuzimva zonse nthawi imodzi, kapena tikhoza kupita uku ndi uku pakati pawo.
Kuyang'ana machitidwe athu ndi mbiri yathu ndikofunikanso: kodi timakonda kudula maubwenzi tikangomva kusakhazikika? Kodi timasandutsa ubale kukhala ntchito yathuyathu yomwe singavomereze kulephera? Kukulitsa kudzidziwitsa tokha kuti timvetsetse zomwe timakhala ndi mantha ndikofunikira kuti muchepetse zomwe zimatikhudza. Kukoma mtima ndi kuleza mtima ndi zovuta zathu, komanso kudzilemekeza tokha ndi anzathu, ndi ena mwa omwe atithandizira kwambiri mgululi.
Mwachidule
Ngakhale anthu ali ndi "waya" kuti akhale m'maubale, izi sizophweka ndipo nthawi zina zimafuna ntchito yambiri. "Ntchito" iyi imaphatikizapo kuyang'ana mkati ndikuyang'ana kutsidya. Tiyenera kuyang'ana mkati kuti tidziwe, kuvomereza, ndi kumvetsetsa malingaliro athu, malingaliro athu, zokhumba zathu, ziyembekezo zathu, ndi zovuta zathu. Tiyenera kuyang'ana kudera kuti tizindikire, kupanga malo, ndi kulemekeza zokumana nazo za okondedwa athu ndi zenizeni. Gawo lirilonse la ulendowu limabweretsa zovuta ndi mwayi watsopano kwa munthu aliyense komanso ubale womwewo. Ili paulendowu, koposa komwe mungaganizire, komwe lonjezo lachikondi, kulumikizana, ndikukwaniritsidwa lingapezeke.