Zamkati
- Zochitika zamakono ndizopweteka
- Njira yakuchiritsa imakhala yopweteka komanso yopanda malire
- Kukhala m'banja pambuyo pa chigololo - Ulendo wopweteka
- Kusakhulupirika sikofunikira kuti munthu asinthe
Muyenera kuti mwamvapo anthu akunena kuti kusakhulupirika sizoyipa kapena kubera kungalimbitse banja lanu. Izi zapangitsa kuti anthu onse m'mabanja azidabwa ngati kusakhulupirika ndichithandizo cha mavuto ena m'banja. Komanso, kodi zikutanthawuza kuti zili bwino kuti m'modzi mwa apabanjawo abere?
Ndikukhulupirira kuti ena mwa malingaliro awa ndi olakwika. Inde, kusakhulupirika ndiko kutsegula m'maso mavuto anu koma sikumapulumutsa banja nthawi zonse. M'malo mwake, zinthu zina zitha kukhala zowononga kwenikweni. Ine sindine 'wonyenga wodana' kapena wina amene sakhulupirira kupereka mwayi wachiwiri; Ndabwera kuti ndiwunikire pofotokoza kuti si maukwati onse omwe angathe kupulumutsidwa pambuyo poyeretsa.
Esther Perel mukulankhula kwake kwa TED pa 'Kuganizira Kusakhulupirika' akufotokoza kuti muukwati, wokwatirana amayenera kukhala wokondedwa, wodalirika wodalirika, kholo, mnzake waluntha komanso mnzake wokonda kutengeka. Kusakhulupirika sikungokhala kusakhulupirika kwa malumbiro aukwati; Komanso ndi kukana chilichonse chomwe banjali limakhulupirira. Zitha kuwonongera zenizeni za yemwe wapusitsidwa ndi wokondedwa wawo. Mukumva manyazi, osiyidwa, osiyidwa - ndipo izi ndi malingaliro omwe chikondi chimayenera kutiteteza.
Zochitika zamakono ndizopweteka
Zochitika zachikhalidwe kale sizinali zophweka - kupeza chikhomo pamilomo pa kolala kapena kupeza ma risiti a kugula kokayikitsa ndipo zinali choncho (nthawi zambiri). Zochitika zamakono ndizopweteka chifukwa mutha kupeza njira yonse yazinthu zonse chifukwa chotsata zida ndi mapulogalamu monga Xnspy, makamera olembera, ndi zina zambiri zamatekinoloje. Zida izi zimatipatsa mwayi wofufuza mauthenga, zithunzi, maimelo ndi zochitika zina za tsiku ndi tsiku za omwe timachita nawo zachinyengo. Zonsezi zimakhala zochuluka kwambiri kuti tilingalire, makamaka ngati mukuganiza kuti muli pabanja losangalala.
Ngakhale timakhala ndi mwayi wofunsa mafunso okhudza chibwenzi monga, 'Kodi mumamuganizira mukakhala ndi ine?' 'Kodi mumamukhumba kwambiri?' 'Simukundikondanso?' ndi zina. Koma kumva mayankho a mafunso awa sikofanana ndi kuwawona akusewera zenizeni. Zonsezi ndizopweteka ndipo palibe ubale womwe ungathe kuyambiranso ku nkhawa iyi.
Njira yakuchiritsa imakhala yopweteka komanso yopanda malire
Ndizovuta kusiya kuyang'anitsitsa kusakhulupirika ndikupitiliza ndi moyo. Nkhani yofufuza yotchedwa Mbali "Yina" Yosakhulupirika akuti ozunzidwa amakhala ndi vuto la Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) ndipo amakhala ndi mantha komanso kusowa chochita atabedwa pachibwenzi. Maganizo awa amayamba chifukwa cha mantha otaya cholumikizira. Anthu oterewa amakonda kukankhira kumbuyo mbendera zofiira ngati akupitiliza kukhala okwatirana, kuyesera kuti athetse chibwenzicho kukhala tanthauzo labwino kuiwala kuti wokondedwa wawo akhoza kukhala akukhalabe m'banja la ana okha.
Ndawona maanja omwe amakhala limodzi ngakhale atakhala osakhulupirika kangapo osati chifukwa chakuti ali osangalala limodzi kapena achira koma chifukwa cha zifukwa monga kusudzulana kwa ana, kuwopa kusakhalanso mbanja, zovuta zachuma kapena zifukwa za PR .
Kafukufuku wochuluka akuti amuna amakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi chiwerewere cha wokondedwa wawo ndipo amayi amakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi zochitika zam'maganizo. Pali asing'anga ndi akatswiri azamaubwenzi omwe ayamba kukakamira lingaliro loti zinthu zitha kupulumutsa banja koma zomwe amaiwala ndikutanthauzira zomwe zingakhale zoona. Pali zotheka kuti muzindikire mavuto am'banja ndikuwathetsa pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika koma zimatengera mtundu wa ubale womwe inu ndi mnzanu muli nawo komanso zomwe mnzanu akuchita pomwe amakunyengani.
Ovutika ena nthawi zonse amakumbukira kuwawa ndi kupwetekedwa mtima ndi chibwenzi; kwa ena, chibwenzicho chimakhala chosintha ndipo ena amatha kubwerera ku stasis ya moyo. Ndi chokumana nacho chosiyana kwa anthu osiyanasiyana.
Kukhala m'banja pambuyo pa chigololo - Ulendo wopweteka
Kukhalabe muukwati kapena chibwenzi pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika ndichinthu chochititsa manyazi kwa wozunzidwayo kuposa wonyenga. Imasiyanitsa wovutikayo osati ndi mnzake koma ndi anzawo komanso abale. Ena samauza chifukwa choopa kuweruzidwa chifukwa chosasiya wokondedwa wawo.
Chibwenzi chimatseketsa banja mwachikondi komanso kudziimba mlandu komwe sikutha kanthawi. Ngakhale banja litasudzulana, sizitanthauza kuti ubale wawo wachira. Ngakhale atakhala kuti athetsa chibwenzi, awiriwo nthawi zambiri amamva kuti atsekereza.
Njira yochira ndiyitali. Zimatengera ntchito yambiri kuti ayambirenso kukukhulupirira. Pangatenge chaka chimodzi kapena ziwiri kuti awiriwo achiritse. Pali zinthu zambiri zomwe zimayenera kuchitika kuti awiriwo apitilize chibwenzi. Sikokwanira kungonena kuti 'Ndikhala wowona mtima mwankhanza kapena wolankhula momasuka kuyambira pano.' Wonyenga ayenera kutenga udindo wonse pazomwe amachita. Ayeneranso kumvetsetsa komanso kuleza mtima chifukwa kuchira kumatha kutenga nthawi. Kenako pakubwera gawo lokonzanso ubale wonse. Zotsatira za chibwenzi zimatha kuyendetsedwa ndi kuwona mtima komanso kuzindikira komwe kumakhala kovuta kukwaniritsa. Sikuti aliyense ndi wokonzeka kuyika mtundu wa ntchito.
Kusakhulupirika sikofunikira kuti munthu asinthe
M'malingaliro mwanga, lingaliro loti chibwenzi chanu chimakula pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika ndichachinyengo. Kusakhulupirika sikofunikira kuti munthu asinthe kapena kuthetheka m'banja lililonse. Ngati wonyenga yekha atha kubweretsa gawo limodzi mwa magawo khumi a kulimba mtima komanso chitsimikiziro chomwe adayika pachibwenzi, m'banja lake, mwina sakanatha kuchoka. Chifukwa chake, musangokhulupirira kuti aliyense amene anena kusakhulupirika atha kulimbikitsa ubale wanu. Sindikunena kuti muyenera kusudzulana nthawi yomweyo koma kumbukirani kuti izi zingagwire ntchito kapena ayi.