Zamkati
- Momwe ana amapangira chitsanzo cha momwe angachitire ndi ena
- Perekani danga lanu lakumverera
- Gwirani zovuta
- Kudzudzula nthawi zambiri kumatha kukukumbutsani zolakwika zanu
- Muziganizira zabwino
- Kulera bwino pakati pa banja kumafunikira mgwirizano
- Khazikitsani malamulo oyenera kutsatira
- Funsani thandizo, funani chithandizo chasudzulo
Mnzanga wina anandiuza posachedwapa kuti makolo ake osudzulana adayamba kucheza mwamtendere patatha zaka zambiri akumenyera nkhondo, kusokosera ndi mawu, kenako gulu logwirizana ndi mkwiyo lomwe limawononga chitetezo ndi chitonthozo chomwe banja lingapereke.
Ankawoneka wosakondera za chitukuko chatsopanochi — zikadakhala kuti mtendere watsopanowu ubwera mwachangu, ukadakhazikitsa ubwana wake ndikupangitsa ubale wachikulire kukhala wosasokoneza.
Momwe ana amapangira chitsanzo cha momwe angachitire ndi ena
Chomwe chidawonekera kwambiri ndi mkwiyo mmawu ake. Mkwiyo woyikidwa pakati, chifukwa chofunsidwa kapena kupatsidwa ziphuphu kuti asankhe mbali, kumva nkhani zosafunikira za winayo, kusamva kukhala otetezeka, kapena otetezeka, kapena kuyika patsogolo pomwe makolo ake amenya nawo nkhondo. Amadzimva kuti watayika posakanikirana.
Pakumva izi komanso nkhani zofananira zambiri kuchokera kwa ana achikulire omwe banja lawo latha, ndalandira uthenga umodzi wofanana.
Ana anu amakhala ndi chithunzithunzi chakutsogolo cha momwe mumachitira zinthu ndi ena.
Ndi mkangano uliwonse, amapanga chitsanzo cha momwe angachitire ndi ena ndi momwe akuganizira kuti ayenera kuwachitira.
Zomwe zimawakhudza kwambiri ana si chisudzulo chomwecho, koma njira — zobisika kapena ayi — zomwe makolo amayendamo. Ndiye mungatani?
Chimodzi mwazinthu zosintha kwambiri zomwe mungapange lero ndikuyamba kulumikizana ndi kholo lanu.
Perekani danga lanu lakumverera
Gawo loyamba lolumikizana bwino ndikuyandikira zokambirana kuchokera pamalo abata ndi omveka.
Mukayamba kukangana ndi kholo linzanu, chinthu choyamba kuchita ndikumvetsetsa zomwe mukumva. Kungotenga mphindi zochepa kuti muwone nokha kungathandize kupewa kutchula mayina, kuwuza ana anu zakukhumudwitsani kwanu, kapena kusewera nawo masewera olakwika.
Kudziwa zomwe zikuchitika ndi inu kungathandizenso kudziwitsa zomwe muyenera kufunsa ndikupatseni mwayi kuti muzikonza m'njira yomwe kholo lanu lingamve. Izi zitha kupita motere, "Zomwe mukunenazi ndizofunika kwambiri kwa ine. Ndikumva kupsinjika pakali pano. Kodi ndingakuimbireni ndikagona ana anga kuti mumvetsere bwinobwino? ”
Gwirani zovuta
Kodi mudayambapo zokambirana ndi cholinga kenako ndikukhumudwitsidwa musamamveke, kapena kutsimikiziridwa, kapena kumvedwa?
Nthawi zambiri, kusasangalala kumeneku kumapangitsa kuti ziwoneke ngati wokondedwa wanu kulibe (ndipo sakufuna kukhala pano tsopano), ndipo poyankha, maanja ambiri amakonda kusinjirira-njira yosavuta komanso yodziwika bwino yomwe imasokoneza kulumikizana kwenikweni komanso zimasokoneza kupita patsogolo. Akatswiri azamisala nthawi zambiri amalongosola kutsutsidwa ngati chisonyezero cha zosowa zosakwaniritsidwa komanso zokhumudwitsa.
Kudzudzula kulikonse ndikukhumba komwe kumayambitsidwa mwaukali.
Chifukwa chake mukanena kuti, "simumandimvera" chikhumbo chomwe sichinafotokozeredwe ndi chakuti, "Ndikulakalaka mutandimvera, chifukwa ndimamva kuti sindinamveke." Tikamapita kwa ena tili ndi mkwiyo, samakonda kumva pempholo.
Gawo loyamba ndikuwona momwe tikulankhulira zosowa zathu. Kodi mukukumbukira nthawi yoyamba yomwe mudalandira nkhani kapena projekiti ndipo idakongoletsedwa ndikulemba kofiira? Mukudziwa kumverera kwanthawi yomweyo - manyazi, kapena kukhumudwitsidwa, kapena kusadzimva ngati momwe mumakwanitsira?
Ngakhale mphunzitsiyu atasiya kalata yolimbikitsa kumapeto, munasiyidwa ndi chikumbutso chowoneka bwino kuti simunachimve bwino - ndipo mwina simunali okondwa kuthamangira kunyumba ndikukonzekera zolakwika zanu.
Momwemonso, kutsutsidwa pakati pa makolo anzawo sikungapangitse malo omwe amachititsa chidwi chofuna kudzipangira okha.
Kudzudzula nthawi zambiri kumatha kukukumbutsani zolakwika zanu
Pogwira ntchito ndi maanja, ndapeza kuti ena mwa akulu kwambiri zilembo zofiira titha kugwiritsa ntchito mawuwa nthawi zonse ndipo ayi- monga "mumakonda kudzikonda nthawi zonse" kapena "simumapezeka nthawi zonse pomwe ana amakusowani." Kodi mungakumbukire nthawi yomaliza yomwe mudalembedwa ndi nthawi zonse kapena a ayi?
Ngati muli ngati ambiri a ife, mwina mwayankha modzitchinjiriza kapena kudzudzula chimodzimodzi. Chifukwa chake nthawi yotsatira mukadzapezeka kuti mwatola cholembera chofiyacho, onani ngati mungachichotseremo mwa kutero.
Kusintha kalembedwe kabwino kuchokera ku "inu ayi do ... ”ku“ zomwe ndikufunikiradi ... ”si zophweka ndipo zingafune kuchita mwadala. Gawo lofunikira mchitidwewu ndikuzindikira zosowa zanu, ndikudzifunsa nokha, "Ndikufuna chiyani pakali pano zomwe sindikuzilandira?"
Zomwe mukusowa ndi dzanja lowonjezera kuti mulinganize sabata yovuta. Onani ngati mungakhale wowona mtima popempha zomwe mukufuna popanda kudzudzula kapena kunena zolakwa zakale kapena zokhumudwitsa. Ngati mukuganiza kuti mungachite bwanji izi, yesetsani kufunsa mafunso omwe angayambirepo, "Ndikuyamikira kwambiri ngati ..." kapena "Ndikulakalaka mutatero," kapena "Zingatanthauze zambiri kwa ine ... ngati mungatenge ana kusukulu Lachinayi ndi Lachisanu ndikupita nawo kukachita masewera a mpira. Ndili ndi ntchito yayikulu pantchito, ndipo ndikufuna thandizo lina sabata ino. ”
Muziganizira zabwino
Popeza kuti kusudzulana nthawi zambiri kumakhala kovuta pabanja, ndikosavuta kuti makolo azichita nawo masewera olakwika pakati pa ana awo.
Popanda kufuna kuvulaza, mawu onga "Ndinkafuna koma bambo akuti sitingathe," "Amayi anu sakhala achilungamo," ndi "Abambo anu nthawi zonse amakuchezani," omwe amachokera m'malo opweteka, amatha kupweteketsa mtima mwana. Zinthu izi zikhoza kukhala zoona, koma sizoyenera kuti ndi zomwe ana anu amawona — ndi zanu, ndi zanu zokha.
Kulera bwino pakati pa banja kumafunikira mgwirizano
Ngakhale zingakhale zovuta kuganiza za wokondedwa wanu ngati membala wa gulu lanu, zitha kukhala zothandiza kuwawona ngati gawo la kulera kwanu. Ngati mukufuna kuti mwana wanu adziwe kuti ali otetezeka komanso okondedwa, ndiye kuti pangani mbali zabwino kwambiri zakale.
Simuyenera kuwakonda kapena kuwakonda. Ingosankha china chokhudza kulera kwawo chomwe mungalemekeze, ndipo yesetsani kuyamika izi mozungulira ana anu. Yesani china chonga ichi, "Amayi nthawi zonse amakhala okonzeka kukuthandizani homuweki. Bwanji osamuwonetsa vuto lomwe wakhaliralo? ” kapena "Abambo ati akupangira chakudya chomwe mumakonda kwambiri chamadzulo! Anali kumuganizira kwambiri. ”
Mutha kukhala mukuganiza, koma bwanji ngati abambo achedwa kuwatenga - ndipo iwo kwenikweni amachita izi nthawi iliyonse? Chinthu choyamba ndikulola kuti mumve chilichonse chomwe mukumva.
Simusowa kuti muziyerekezera kuti mukusangalala kapena kuti mukuyenda bwino ndikasintha kumeneku. Izi zitha kukhala zothandiza pakuwonetsa komanso kutsimikizira kukhumudwitsa kwa ana anu kapena kukhumudwitsidwa kwawo. Mutha kusankha kunena monga, "Ndikudziwa kuti zimapweteka abambo akachedwa kukulandani" - kuwalola kuti amve kuti mukuwawona ndikumva nanu panthawi yomwe angakhale akumva kuti ndi osafunikira kapena aiwalika.
Izi zimapanga danga lokhalitsa zolakwitsa za makolo, ndikulimbikitsa zomwe kholo lanu limachita. Izi zitha kupita motere, "Tonse tikuphunzira momwe tingagwirire ntchitoyi ndipo tidzalakwitsa zina panjira. Abambo anu sali ndi chidwi chofika nthawi. Sindinachite bwino kufunafuna malipoti anu posachedwapa. Tonse timakukondani kwambiri, ndipo tipitilizabe kugwira ntchito limodzi kuti tikupatseni zomwe mukufuna. ”
Khazikitsani malamulo oyenera kutsatira
Njira imodzi yolankhulirana bwino ngati kholo limodzi ndikupanga malamulo oyenera.
Chitsogozo chosavuta ndikuchisunga "Chachikulu okha." Chodandaula chimodzi chofala kuchokera kwa ana achikulire osudzulana ndichakuti makolo awo amawagwiritsa ntchito ngati amithenga ali ana.
Kumbukirani, ngati muli ndi funso kapena ndemanga, ngakhale yayikulu kapena yaying'ono, lankhulani izi mwachindunji ndi kholo lanu. Momwemonso, pomwe tonsefe timafunikira kuthandizidwa ndi khutu lomvera, ndikofunikira kuti kuwulula zakusudzulana kwanu kapena wakale kuyenera kusungidwa kwa omvera okhaokha.
Ana akaikidwa ngati bwenzi kapena chinsinsi, zimatha kubweretsa mavuto kuti asangalale kucheza ndi kholo limodzi. Kafukufuku amatiuzanso izi kuti, pamzerewu, izi zitha kusokoneza ubale womwe ali nawo - ngakhale mutakula.
Chifukwa chake ngati mukufuna kuyesetsa kulimbitsa ubale wanu ndi ana anu pakadali pano komanso mtsogolo, dzikumbutseni kuti muwapatse malo omwe alibe udindo wothana ndi malingaliro anu, kutenga mbali, kapena kusewera pakati panu ndi anzanu- kholo.
Funsani thandizo, funani chithandizo chasudzulo
Powerenga zomwe zili pamwambapa, ndikuganiza kuti yankho lamkati ndiloti "izi zitha kugwira ntchito kwa anthu ena, koma izi ndizovuta ndi kholo langa limodzi pazifukwa zambiri." Mukunena zowona — ngakhale mauthenga omwe ali pamwambawa ndi osavuta, nthawi zambiri amakhala ovuta kwambiri ndipo modabwitsa.
Simusowa kuchita izi nokha, ndipo ambiri zimawawona kukhala zothandiza kukhala ndi mphunzitsi kapena wowongolera panjira - makamaka kudzera pachithandizo cha kusudzulana.
Mkati mwaukwati, chithandizo cha maanja chitha kulimbikitsa kulumikizana ngati onse awiri akudzipereka kukhala limodzi ndipo akusowa thandizo kuchotsa zotchinga kuchita izi.
Kwa iwo omwe akuganiza kutha kwa banja — ndi ana kapena opanda — chithandizo chisanafike chisudzulo chingapatse mpata woti adziwe ngati chisudzulo ndi yankho lolondola pamavuto apabanja, kukambirana pagulu zakugawana katundu, kupanga dongosolo loti onse akhale ndi ana, ndi kuzindikira Njira zabwino zouza nkhaniyi ndi banja ndikuchepetsa mavuto omwe angabwere chifukwa cha nkhaniyi.
Zitha kuthandizanso inu ndi mnzanu kukambirana ndikugwiritsa ntchito njira zabwino zopitilira kupereka malo otseguka komanso otetezeka kwa ana-nthawi yonse ya chisudzulo komanso mtsogolo.
Monga banja, palibe buku lamalangizo momwe mungakhalire kholo logwirizana ndipo sizokayikitsa kuti kulumikizana kwaukwati kwanu kudzatha mutasudzulana.
Mwa kuyesetsa kupeza chisudzulo mutha kuphunzira momwe mungakhalire ndi moyo wabwino pambuyo pa chisudzulo ndikuchepetsa zomwe zimakhudza banja lanu-ndikuchotsa malingaliro omwe ambiri amakhala nawo munthawi yovutayi.