"Muzu ukazika, palibe chifukwa choopera mphepo."
- Mwambi wachi China
Funso: Kodi malingaliro azaka chikwizikwi amakhudzana bwanji ndi banja lachikondi, lobala zipatso komanso losangalala?
Yankho: Chofunikira cha moyo wazaka chikwizikwi ndichokhudzana ndi kusintha, lingaliro lofuna kukhazikika muzomveka bwino ndikuyamikira zokumana nazo pamoyo, makamaka maubale. Omwe ali nawo samangowona chithunzi chokulirapo, akufuna kuti athandizire, kuti apange phindu ndikuti ayamikiridwenso. Moyo, ufulu komanso kudzipereka pakukula kumayendetsa motere ndikukhala ndi mgwirizano wamphamvu pakati pa moyo wamunthu ndi wantchito. Izi malingaliro azaka chikwi angathe amapezeka m'badwo uliwonse komanso m'badwo uliwonse. Ndi njira yoganizira, kuzindikira ndi kulumikizana ndi umwini ndi ena yomwe ili yopindulitsa kwambiri, yokwaniritsa ubale komanso yothandiza kwambiri. Ndimautcha kuti "mzimu" chifukwa umakhalapo popanda thupi lomwe timatcha zaka chikwi. Mwachitsanzo, pali anthu ena opitilira makumi asanu ndi atatu omwe ali ndi "moyo wa zaka chikwi", njira iyi yakukhalira mdziko lapansi, pomwe palinso ena azaka zapakati pa makumi awiri omwe alibe, ndipo ali okhwima komanso osatsegula njira yamoyo.
Funso: Kodi zikukhudzana bwanji ndi banja labwino, lolemera?
Yankho: Kuchokera pazomwe ndidakumana nazo ngati wololeza m'banja komanso wothandizira mabanja komanso zaka makumi atatu zachitukuko chamagulu ndi upangiri wa utsogoleri - ndi pafupifupi gawo limodzi mwa magawo atatu amakampani anga omwe amakhala makasitomala - ali ndi chilichonse chochita nawo. Pali malingaliro asanu pazaka zakachikwi zomwe zimakhudzana ndikukhala ndi banja lopindulitsa komanso lothandiza.
Kudzipereka kukhala moyo wokhala ndi cholinga
Kuyang'ana pachimake CHIFUKWA chokhala ndi moyo, kulumikizana ndikugwira ntchito komwe kumafunikira mbali zonse za moyo ndikugwira ntchito kukonzanso ndi kulimbikitsa maubale ofunikira.
Kuyamikira zochitika pamoyo
“Kugwira ntchito kuti mukhale ndi moyo motsutsana ndi "kukhala moyo wogwira ntchito" kumatanthauza kuyamikira kusewera / nthawi yopanda komanso kukana kuzipereka chifukwa chofuna ndalama zambiri kapena kupita patsogolo. Izi zimapangitsa kuti mukhale ndi mwayi wokulirapo m'moyo komanso ubale wonse wapakati.
Kuyamikira maubale ofunikira kuposa udindo ndi ndalama
Banja, okwatirana ndi maubwenzi ndizofunikira kwambiri pakuwunika, motero kumalowa muukwati pakupatula nthawi ndikupanga zokumana zapadera limodzi. Izi zimathandizira kukonzanso maubwenzi pomwe zimapangitsa kuti abwenzi azimva kuti ndizofunikira.
Kufuna kuchita bwino
Kukula, kukula, ndi "kukulira", ndikukonda kuphunzira.
Kutulutsa mawu
Chikhulupiriro choti malingaliro onse ndi ofunika ndipo aliyense ali ndi chinthu chamtengo wapatali choti agawane, chifukwa chake abwenzi akuyenera kuyankhula ndi kupereka zidziwitso, nkhawa ndi malingaliro.
Funso: Kodi munganene zambiri zakufunika kodzipereka ku "cholinga"?
Yankho: Kuyang'ana cholinga kapena pachimake "chifukwa" ndikofunikira kuti banja likhale lokondana komanso lolemera. Ndikakhala pawekha sindinakhalepo ndi banja lomwe linabwera kwa ine ndikunena, "Gee, Dusty, zinthu zili bwino pakati pathu, tabwera kwa iwe kuti tiwakongoletse!" Banja lililonse limabwera kukalandira upangiri waukwati pakagwa zowawa zokwanira komanso chisangalalo chomwe chidzakhale: chisudzulo, kupha kapena upangiri waukwati, ndikuwona wothandizira kukhala njira yoyipa kwambiri mtsogolo! Zomwe ndimapeza nthawi zonse ndikutayika kwakukulu kwa onse awiri pachibwenzi. Adatengera njira zosalumikizirana, kudzudzula, kukwiya, kukwiya komanso kukhumudwa.
Khama lawo lofuna kukonza zinthu linali litakhala gawo lokhalabe osakhutira ngakhalenso kulephera kwakukulu! Pomwe ndimalola kuti abwenzi abwerere m'mbuyo ndikumbukira chimango chachikulu chaukwati wawo - chomwe chidawakokera limodzi, kugawana zomwe adagawana, kuyamika, chifukwa CHIMAKWANIRITSA mgwirizano wawo - nthawi zonse timatha kuchita bwino polumikizana.
Mwachitsanzo, pomwe ine ndi mkazi wanga Christine tidachita chibwenzi, podziwa kufunikira kwa chimango chachikulu ichi, tidakhala pansi ndikulemba cholinga chachikulu cha ukwati wathu: zomwe amafuna kwa iwo ndizomwe amafuna kuchokera kwa ine komanso zomwe ndimafuna kuchokera pamenepo kuchokera kwa iye. Timayika malingaliro athu piyano. Nthawiyo idagwiritsidwa ntchito pa malumbiro athu aukwati ndipo tinkakonda kutchula zaka khumi zoyambirira zaukwati, kufikira pomwe tidayamba kukhala achiwiri kwa ife. Ndikudziwa kuti pamipingo yambiri yazaka makumi atatu zaukwati, wakhala malingaliro ofunikira omwe adatipangitsa kukhala ogwirizana ndikutithandizanso kubwerera mchisomo wina ndi mnzake.
Funso: Chabwino, ndizomveka, nanga bwanji kawonedwe kakuzindikira zokumana nazo m'moyo?
Yankho: A Joseph Campbell, katswiri wodziwa nthano komanso tanthauzo laumunthu, adati, "Zomwe anthu amafunadi ndikumakhala ndi moyo." Mukakumbukira izi mukuwonetsetsa kuti mumagwiritsa ntchito nthawi ndi zokumana nazo ndi mnzanu, ndi okondedwa anu ndi abwenzi okondedwa. Potero, muwonetsetsa kuti mukusamalira moyo wanu ndikudziwonekera nthawi zopindulitsa kwambiri m'moyo. Izi sizikulimbikitsa gawo la inu lokha lomwe limafunikira zosiyanasiyana ndikumva kuti muli ndi moyo, zimaperekanso miyoyo ya okondedwa palimodzi pazochitika zomwe adakumana nazo komanso zokumbukira zomwe zimadyetsa onse moyo ndi moyo.
Funso: Inde, kukonda maubale ofunika ndikofunikira kwambiri kuti banja likhale labwino. Kodi pali china chilichonse chomwe mungafune kunena pazakuwona kwazaka chikwi?
Yankho: Izi ndizokhudza kusunga zomwe zilidi zoona kusintha moganizira. Ndikusintha, ndikutanthauza chomwe chili chamtengo wapatali, chofunikira kwambiri, chokhazikika. Ndizosavuta kutayika mu kugulitsa Gawo la tit for tat, la zinthu za tsiku ndi tsiku, zakupeza ndikukhala, zaudindo komanso zomwe ndi zazifupi. Monga mlangizi wa utsogoleri komanso bungwe, tsopano ndagwira ntchito ndi makampani mazana angapo komanso oyang'anira oposa zikwi khumi. Ndawona kawirikawiri kuwonongeka kwa maukwati ndi mabanja pomwe maubale amaperekedwa pa "maguwa" a kupita patsogolo pantchito ndi udindo wapamwamba pomwe kugwira ntchito kumabwera koyamba pomwe kudyetsa moyo wamunthu komanso kuwononga nthawi muubwenzi wofunikira kudatha.
Zaka zikwizikwi zowona sizikufuna kutengera ziwanda zoterezi. Ukwati, pambuyo pa zonse, umafuna nthawi yocheza, kuyika ndalama mu mgwirizano kudzera mukugwirizana. Zimafunikanso kuvomereza kangapo mukapanikizika, zovuta, ziyeso ndi zolakwitsa. Mkazi wanga ndi ine takhala okwatirana tsopano kwazaka makumi atatu ndipo munthawiyo takhala ndi maukwati osachepera makumi atatu: kukhazikitsanso, kulumikizanso, kukonzanso ndikuwunikanso molingana ndi lingaliro loyamba, cholinga chathu chachikulu mgwirizanowu.
Funso: Kodi munganene zambiri chifukwa chake kufotokoza mawu ako ndizofunika m'banja?
Yankho: Maganizo awa a malingaliro azaka chikwizikwi alidi za tanthauzo, "Ndiyenera kumvedwa. Kumverana wina ndi mnzake ndizofunika. ” Kulankhula momasuka ndikofunikira kuti mukhale ndi banja labwino, losatha. Munthu akakhala chete, osayankhula, ndiye kuti mkwiyo umakula, kulumikizana kumachepa ndipo chikondi chimatsamwa. Kugawana zomwe zili m'malingaliro kumatanthauza kuti abwenzi adzakumana ndi zovuta, malingaliro ndi malingaliro. Komabe pokha pokha tikamagawana mawu athu ndikumva za anzathu pomwe timatha kulumikizana komanso kukhala pachibwenzi.
Ndi nthawi zovuta zakusintha mwachangu komwe tikukhala, zitha kuthandizanso kukumbukira mawu a James Baldwin akuti, "Sizinthu zonse zomwe zikukumana nazo zomwe zingasinthidwe, koma palibe chomwe chingasinthidwe kufikira chikuyang'aniridwa. ” Kukumana ndi mavuto, zosowa, zokhumba, nkhawa ndi kusiyana kwa malingaliro ndi wokondedwa wanu ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika pakupanga ndi kulimbikitsa banja lofunikira, lopindulitsa komanso lolimbikitsa.
Funso: Chabwino, izi ndizothandiza. Kodi muli ndi upangiri womaliza kwa owerenga athu?
Yankho: Ndikudziwa kuchokera pazomwe ndidakumana nazo muukwati wanga ndikugwira ntchito ndi ena ambiri, kuti malingaliro azaka zikwi zisanu zapitazo ali ofunikira kwambiri m'maubwenzi onse ofunikira, makamaka m'banja. Ndapeza kuti zimathandiza kudzifunsa nthawi ndi nthawi ndikutsatira malangizowa:
Kodi cholinga cha banja lanu ndi chiyani? Khalani ndi nthawi yoganizira limodzi ndi anzanu zofunika zomwe aliyense wa inu akufuna kuchokera m'banja komanso chifukwa chokhalira limodzi. Fotokozani ndikudzipereka ku cholinga chokulirapo cha mgwirizano wanu.
Kodi mukutenga nthawi yoluka zokumana nazo zopindulitsa limodzi? Konzani ndikukhala ndi nthawi yocheza nonse kuti muzisamalira komanso kudyetsedwa ndi ubale wanu.
Kodi mukuwonetsa mawu anu ndikupanga malo oti mnzanu akhale nawo? Pezani nthawi sabata iliyonse kuti mukhale pansi ndikungogawana zomwe zili zamoyo kwambiri, zomwe zilipo mumtima mwanu. Pemphani wokondedwa wanu kuti adzalankhule kuchokera pansi pa mtima wake ndikuonetsetsa kuti zonse zomwe zili zofunika kwambiri ndizofunikira zikugawidwa ndikukambirana. Yesetsani kumvetsera mwachidwi ndikuwonetsetsa kuti mwamvetsetsana.
Pali mafunso atatu amphamvu omwe ndikupangira:
Kodi ndichinthu chimodzi chiti chomwe ndikuchita chomwe mukufuna kuwonetsetsa kuti ndikupitilizabe kukulimbikitsani? kukuthandizani kumva kuti mumathandizidwa kapena kukondedwa?
Pangani zochitika zosaiwalika limodzi kudzera pakupezana, kusangalala komanso kusewera. Khalani ndi malingaliro azaka chikwi kuti mulimbikitse banja lanu.