Zamkati
M'buku langa laposachedwa, The Marriage and Relationship Junkie, ndimayankha mavuto enieni okhudzana ndi chikondi. Bukuli lalembedwa kuchokera pamalingaliro anga ndikuyang'ana mmbuyo m'moyo wanga, komanso m'njira yomwe ingagwiritsidwe ntchito ndi iwo omwe ali ndi vuto losokoneza bongo.
Pomwe ndimagwira ntchito ndi makasitomala omwe ali ndi chizolowezi chachikondi, ndimaphunzitsanso anthu ambiri omwe ali ndi zovuta zodalira. Nthawi zina anthu amagwiritsa ntchito mawu awiriwa mosinthana, koma pali kusiyana.
Kudziwa kusiyanasiyana kungakuthandizeni kupeza mphunzitsi waluso yemwe ali ndi chidziwitso chofunikira kuti athe kukuthandizani paulendo wanu wopambana iliyonse ya nkhanizi.
Chikondi
Ganizirani zamtundu uliwonse wa zosokoneza bongo monga kukhala ndi cholinga china.
Kuledzera kumayang'ana kwambiri kumwa mowa mopitirira muyeso, kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo ndiko kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, ndipo chizolowezi chachikondi ndichoyenera kukhala mchikondi. Ndizovuta kumverera kuti mukukondana, kukondana kwambiri komanso kumangiriza kulumikizana komwe kumachitika koyambirira kwa chibwenzi.
Wokonda wachidwi amayesetsa kuti nthawi zonse azikhala ndi chidwi chachikulu Amafuna kudzimva okondedwa, ndipo nthawi zambiri amayankha kwa anzawo osayenera kapena osauka ngati njira yakumvera.
Kuledzera sikumadziwika kwenikweni pakadali pano.
Komabe, pakufufuza kwaposachedwa kwa Brian D. Earp ndi ena ndikufalitsa mu Philosophy, Psychiatry & Psychology mu 2017, kulumikizana pakati pamasinthidwe am'magazi am'magazi ndimakhalidwe omwe akukondana nawo amapezeka kuti ndi ofanana ndi omwe amawoneka ena mitundu yazolowera.
Wokonda zachikondi nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi zibwenzi zambiri kuposa mnzake. Ayeneranso kugwiritsitsa ubalewo, chifukwa kuopa kukhala okha kapena kusakondedwa ndichowona komanso ndizowopsa.
Zizindikiro zosokoneza bongo
- Kukhala ndi munthu kuti mupewe kukhala nokha
- Kuswa mosalekeza ndikubwerera kwa munthu yemweyo
- Kufunika kokhudzidwa kwambiri ndi mnzanu
- Kusangalala kwambiri ndikukhutira ndikulumikizananso mutatha chibwenzi zomwe zimatha msanga
- Kufunitsitsa kukhalira limodzi kuti mupewe kukhala panokha
- Zolingalira zonse za ubale wangwiro kapena mnzake woyenera
Kudalira
Odalira cododanso amawopa kukhala okha, koma pali kusiyana.
Wodalira ndi munthu yemwe samatha kudziona yekha koma ali paubwenzi ndi wina, ndikupereka zonse kwa mnzake.
Odalira ma Cod amakonda kupanga ubale ndi ochita zachiwerewere, omwe ali ofunitsitsa kutenga chilichonse chomwe winayo akupereka.
Kudzidalira kumaphatikizapo kusakhala ndi malire komanso kutha kudzipeza wokha kupatula kukonza kapena kusangalatsa anthu ena, ngakhale atakhala osazindikira kapena kuchitiridwa zoyipa kwambiri.
Munthu wodalira ena amakhalabe pachibwenzi chowononga malingaliro ndipo atha kukhalabe pachibwenzi choopsa komanso chomuzunza.
Zizindikiro zakudalira
- Kudzidalira komwe kumafalikira
- Kufunika kochita zinthu mosalekeza kuti musangalatse wokondedwa, ngakhale sizomwe mukufuna kuchita
- Kuopa kukhala ndekha ndikulephera kupeza mnzake
- Kukhala M'maubwenzi Ozunza Osati Kukhala Mokha
- Kuyang'ana zolakwa ndi zolakwika ndikukhazikitsa miyezo yosatheka yangwiro
- Kukana zosowa zanu monga gawo la machitidwe
- Osamverera ngati mukuchitira wokwatirana naye zokwanira
- Kukumana ndi kufunika kokonza kapena kuwongolera anthu
Ndikofunika kuzindikira kuti aliyense angathe kuthana ndi mavuto okonda kusuta kapena kudalira ena, koma ndizovuta kuti muchite nokha. M'machitidwe anga ophunzitsira, ndimagwira ntchito m'modzi ndi makasitomala, kuwathandiza kuti apange njira yabwino yochira ndikupeza ubale wabwino m'miyoyo yawo.