Zamkati
- Mphamvu yamafashoni
- Chiphunzitso chaziphatikizidwe ndi chiyani
- Mitundu yaziphatikizidwe
- Chojambulidwa chotetezeka
- Kusungika kosatetezeka
- Momwe mafashoni okhudzana amakhudzira ubale wanu
- Kusintha kalembedwe kanu
- Ngati muli ndi nkhawa
- Ngati mukupewa
- Kwa Mitundu Yonse Yaphatikirani
- Uphungu ndi chithandizo zingathandize
- Tengera kwina
Tonsefe timadziwa masewera amphaka ndi mbewa m'maubwenzi. Ndizomwe zimadziwika kuti zimathamangitsa komanso kuthamangitsa. Hollywood ndi chikhalidwe chotchuka zimagwira bwino ntchito yosonyeza kuvina kumeneku pachibwenzi chachikondi.
M'malo mothamangitsa kwamuyaya, komabe, nthawi zambiri timakumana ndi mathero osangalatsa, mbewa ikudumphira m'mpaka wa mphaka ndipo masewera atha.
Nanga bwanji ngati masewera othamangitsawo apitilira patatha nthawi yayitali kufunafuna koyambirira kutatha?
Kodi timatha bwanji kuvina mmbuyo ndi mtsogolo komwe kumatha kupitilira gawo la tchuthi ndikukhala mgulu komanso nyimbo za tsiku ndi tsiku zaubwenzi?
M'dziko lama psychology, kats ndi mbewa zokhumba kapena kupewa wina aliyense zimadziwika chifukwa cha kaphatikizidwe kathu koyambirira kapena masitayilo ophatikizira.
Masitayelo kapena mayendedwe awa adakula kuchokera kuubwenzi wathu ndi amayi athu (kapena omwe amatisamalira makamaka) tili makanda ndipo tafika mpaka m'zipinda zam'moyo wathu wachikulire.
Mphamvu yamafashoni
Masitaelo ophatikizika mwa achikulire amakhudza momwe zimachitikira pamoyo wawo ndi ena.
Ena aife tidzakhala ndi mwayi wokhala ndi mawonekedwe otetezedwa, omwe amatsogolera ku ubale wabwino ndi ena.
Pomwe ena amatha kukhala ndi nkhawa kapena kupewa masitayelo ophatikizika, zomwe zingayambitse mavuto momwe amagwirizanirana ndi anzawo kapena okwatirana nawo komanso momwe amadziwira dziko lapansi.
Koma si zokhazo.
Zomwe zimakhudza momwe munthu amaonera (kaya ndi zotetezeka kapena zosatetezeka) zidzachulukirachulukira pamene mukuyenda m'moyo mosalekeza kutsimikizira kuti dziko lapansi ndi lotetezeka kapena losatetezeka (kutengera mawonekedwe anu).
Iwo omwe amaganiza kuti dziko lapansi ndi lotetezeka amachita bwino munjira zonse.
Omwe amakhala ndi mawonekedwe osatetezeka amakhala osatetezeka, osadalira, osadalira ndipo zimawavuta kukhulupirira kuti atha kukwaniritsa zolinga zawo chifukwa sanadziwitsenso kale zomwe sizinawachitikirepo kale.
Izi zokumana nazo zowonjezereka zikupitilira mpaka munthu yemwe ali ndi chodalira atazindikira ndikuchita khama lothana ndi mapulogalamu awo adakali ana.
Anthu ambiri amakumana ndi mikangano, kusungulumwa, komanso zovuta m'njira momwe amathandizira ena ndikukumana ndi moyo. ndipo popeza aliyense wa ife amasangalala ndi kulumikizana, nzoipa.
Komabe, pali chiyembekezo.
Kumvetsetsa masitayelo okonda kuphatikana ndi zomwe mumakonda muubwenzi zingatithandizenso kumvetsetsa mphamvu zathu, zofooka zathu, ndi kufooka kwathu m'mayanjano athu.
Izi zimatipatsa mwayi woti timvetsetse kapena anzathu ndikupeza njira zochiritsira kapena zogwirira ntchito ndikudzitchinjiriza.
Kodi ndikuti ngakhale mutakula munadzimva kukhala wopanda chitetezo mdziko lapansi, mutha kuyanjananso ndikuchiritsa izi, ndikupeza njira yothanirana ndi mapulogalamu anu osatetezeka ndikupanga ubale wotetezeka.
Chiphunzitso chaziphatikizidwe ndi chiyani
Ntchito yolumikizana ndi a John Bowlby ndi a Mary Ainsworth, The Attachment Theory, ikugwirizana ndi malingaliro ochokera ku ethology, cybernetics, kukonza zambiri, chitukuko cha psychology, ndi ma psychoanalysts.
Chiphunzitsochi chimafotokoza kudziphatika ngati "kulumikizana kwamuyaya pakati pa anthu, ndikofunikira kwambiri ndikukula kwa ubale wapakati pa mwana ndi woyang'anira m'modzi m'modzi wopezera chitukuko komanso malingaliro.
Lingaliro lodziphatikirali limakhazikitsa maziko olimba kuti amvetsetse chitukuko cha njira zosagwirira ntchito mosavomerezeka komanso zinthu zobisika zamavuto amunthu.
Mitundu yaziphatikizidwe
Akatswiri a zamaganizidwe ndi ofufuza afotokoza magulu awiri akulu azinthu zophatikizira.
- Chojambulidwa chotetezeka
- Kusungika kosatetezeka
Chojambulidwa chotetezeka
Akuluakulu omwe anali ndi zotetezedwa anali ndi amayi omwe amakwaniritsa zosowa zawo ali makanda. Amayi awo:
- Nthawi zonse amawanyamula akulira.
- Anawadyetsa ali ndi njala.
- Nawamwetulira.
- Aloleni afufuze za dziko lapansi, podziwa kuti amayi awo anali ndi msana wawo.
Akuluakulu otetezedwa sangachite nawo gawo lililonse la masewera amphaka ndi mbewa.
Adzakopa mwachilengedwe achikulire ena otetezeka.
Wokondedwa aliyense adzakhala ndi ufulu wopita kukafufuza dziko lapansi akudziwa kuti winayo akuwasangalatsa, wofunitsitsa kufunsa zamomwe adakumana nazo, ndipo amasangalala mwakuthupi, kugonana, komanso kukondana.
Kuti mumvetsetse kalembedwe kakang'ono kotetezedwa, penyani:
Kusungika kosatetezeka
Kumbali inayi, achikulire omwe anali osatetezeka (aka nkhawa) anali ndi amayi omwe samatha kukwaniritsa zosowa zawo akadali makanda. Amayi awa anali:
- Zosagwirizana
- Osayankha
- Kukana
Masitaelo olumikizana osatetezeka agawidwanso m'magulu atatu.
- Nkhawa-Yodziwika
Makanda omwe ali ndi nkhawa modabwitsa akapatukana ndi amayi awo ndipo nthawi yomweyo amamuthamangitsa akamabwera.
Anthu oterewa amayang'ana kwa anzawo kuti awavomereze, kuwathandiza, komanso kuwayankha. Anthu omwe ali ndi kalembedwe kameneka amayamikira maubale awo, koma amakhala otopetsa komanso opanikizika pokhudzana ndi kutengapo gawo kwa wokondedwa wawo.
- Wodandaula-Wopewa
Makanda omwe amadzionetsera ngati kuti ndi odziyimira pawokha popanda chilichonse chokhala ndi nkhawa yolekana amayi akasamvera.
Anthu omwe ali ndi mawonekedwe ophatikizira omwe amakhala ndi nkhawa amakhala ndi kudzidalira komanso kudzidalira.
Anthu oterewa amavomereza kuti chibwenzi sichitha ndi iwo ndipo sangakonde kudalira ena, ena kudalira pa iwo, kapena kufunafuna thandizo ndi kuvomerezedwa pagulu.
Kukula ndi kalembedwe kameneka kumapewa kuyandikira kwambiri ndipo kumatha kupondereza malingaliro awo akakumana ndi zovuta.
- Kusagwirizana
Ana omwe amazunzidwa kwambiri kapena kuzunzidwa ndi amayi awo. Makanda awa alibe mayankho okhudzana ndi mayiyo. Amakhala achisoni, samayang'anitsitsa osasungidwa ndi amayi, kapena amawonetsa zododometsa monga kugwedezeka uku ndi uku mayi akakhala pafupi.
Kwa achikulire omwe ali ndi mtundu wachiphatikirowu, atha kukhumba kulakalaka kuchokera kwa anzawo omwe nthawi zambiri amayambitsa mantha awo.
Anthu osakhazikika amafunikira kukondana, komabe, amakumana ndi zovuta pakudalira ena. Samalamulira momwe akumvera komanso amakhala kutali ndi zomwe amakonda, chifukwa choopa kupwetekedwa.
Ngati simukudziwa bwinobwino za kalembedwe kanu, mungathenso kutenga, yesani 'Attachment Style Quiz' kuti muwone ngati mwaphatikizidwa ndi winawake komanso mpaka pati.
Momwe mafashoni okhudzana amakhudzira ubale wanu
Popeza kuti achikulire ambiri sanayankhulepo ndi mitundu yaziphatikizi zomwe adapanga adakali ana, amakhala ndi zizolowezizi m'moyo wawo wachikulire, zomwe zimadzakhala, ndikumakhala katundu wamaubwenzi awo.
Lingaliro ili ndi lomwe akatswiri amisala amatcha "kusintha”- wina akawongolera zomwe anali nazo paubwana ndikulowa m'malo mwaubwenzi atakula.
Zomwe sitikufuna kuvomereza, ambiri aife timakwatirana ndi amayi ndi abambo athu. Kapenanso mawonekedwe ofanana ndi omwe timawawona. W ndipo munthu akakumana ndi zovuta / zochitika zina titha kuwona izi.
Kuphatikizika kopanda thanzi ndikupewa kuda nkhawa ndi nkhawa. Awiriwa nthawi zambiri amabwera limodzi muubwenzi kuti abwezeretse zomwe akuchita ndi amayi ali mwana. Khalidwe lawo losemphana lingayambitse kusamvana m'banjamo.
Wachikulire wachiphamaso amanjenjemera akapatukana ndi wokondedwa wake ndipo amafunafuna chidwi kwa iwo.
Amatha kulakalaka ndipo nthawi zina amafuna kuti wokondedwa wawo akwaniritse zosowa zawo. Kukakamira kumeneku kumapangitsa mnzake wopewayo kupita kumapiri ... kapena chapansi. Wokondedwayo akasiya chilakolako chawo, mnzakeyo amabwerenso.
Mnzanu wopewa, sangathe kufotokoza zosowa zawo za chidwi, ngakhale, koma lingaliro loti kupatukana kumayambitsa nkhawa mkati mwawo. Danga lomwe mnzakeyu amapatsana mnzake wopewera, pomwe onse awiri amakhala okhutira.
Pokhapokha ngati onse awiri atazindikira kuti munthu yekhayo amene ali ndi udindo wokwaniritsa zosowa zawo ndi iwo eni, zinthu zimangokhala zokhazikika mpaka nthawi yomwe imabwereza.
Kusintha kalembedwe kanu
Simungathe kusintha kalembedwe ka mnzanu, chifukwa chabwino chomwe mungachite ndikusintha mawonekedwe anu.
Nthawi zonse pamakhala kuthekera kwakuti munthu akhoza kukonza zomwe ali nazo mkati mwa psyche yawo, koma munthuyo safunika kungofuna kutero, komanso apeze kulimba mtima kuti ayende kudera losatetezeka pamene akufufuza zatsopano.
Kuwonetseratu kwachilengedwe ndi kutsirikitsa ndi njira zabwino zoyamba kubwereranso ndikumanganso ubale wabwino ndi inu.
Kukulitsa kuzindikira kapangidwe kanu kaziphatikizi komanso momwe zimakhudzira moyo wanu komanso ubale wanu kungathandizenso. Makamaka, ngati inu ndikugwiranso ntchito kukulitsa kudzizindikira kwanu ndikupanga zizolowezi zosintha zomwe zikuwongolera zomwe mumazindikira.
Ngati muli ndi nkhawa
Ngati muli ovuta komanso akumva nkhawa kapena osowa kwa mnzanu, m'malo mongofunafuna china kunja kwa inu kuti akupatseni chidwi, zindikirani izi ndi zomwe mumakonda ndikufunsani zomwe mungadzipereke pakadali pano kuti mulumikizane nanu ndikukwaniritsa zosowa zanu.
Izi zingaphatikizepo zinthu monga:
- Dzipangeni nokha kutikita minofu.
- Dzichotseni nokha pa chakudya chamadzulo.
- Tengani kalasi ya yoga kapena yovina.
- Sinkhasinkhani.
- Yesetsani mtundu wina wa kudzikonda.
- Lembani zomwe mukumva kuti muwone zomwe zingayambitse kusowa thandizo.
Ngati mukupewa
- Yesetsani kufotokoza zosowa zanu m'malo modekha, mwachifundo kale imafika poti umafuna kuthawa mnzako.
- Yesetsani kufotokoza momwe mukumvera ndikufunsa mnzanuyo kuti akupatseni malo abwino oti mufotokozere popanda kuchitapo kanthu kapena kuweruza.
Kwa Mitundu Yonse Yaphatikirani
- Osakhala woyambitsa chisokonezo cha anzanu!
Mukayamba kuyambika, kumbukirani kuti kapangidwe kazolumikizana ndi mnzanu ndichinthu chomwe chidapangidwa kuyambira ali ana.
Ngakhale kuti khalidweli likhoza kukhazikitsidwa kapena kutumizidwa kwa inu, the Khalidwe SIKUKHUDZA inu, komanso sichisonyeza kwa inu. Musagwere mumsampha woganiza kuti inu ndiye mukukhala ndi vuto lanu.
Uphungu ndi chithandizo zingathandize
Nthawi zambiri sitidziwa kuti tikuchita mwanjira inayake chifukwa cha kapangidwe kathu. Kukhala ndi akatswiri pantchito nanu kuti mukulitse kuzindikira kwanu pamachitidwe anu ophatikizika ndi njira yabwino yosinthira machitidwe anu.
Aphungu ndi othandizira amatha kuthandiza omwe ali ndi mitundu yolumikizira yolakwika kuti awone momwe zokumana nazo ndi omwe amawasamalira zasintha njira zawo zothetsera mavuto komanso momwe njirazi zimachepetsa ubale wawo mtsogolo ndikuthandizira kukumana ndi mavuto.
Kuphatikiza apo, alangizi komanso othandizira amatha kuthandizanso anthu omwe ali ndi zophatikizika kupeza njira zakwaniritsira zosowa zawo zomwe sanakwaniritse.
Kusintha kwenikweni sikumabwera chifukwa chofuna kukonza china chake; zimabwera chifukwa chodzizindikira wekha komanso momwe zinthu ziliri. Mwanjira ina, ndiko kuzindikira komwe kumayambitsa kusintha, osati kulimbana.
Tengera kwina
Aliyense ali ndi mitundu yosakanikirana, ndipo palibe amene ali ndi mlandu wanu. Kungakhale kosavuta kuwonetsa kukhumudwa kwanu kwa amayi anu kapena omwe amakusamalirani, koma kumbukirani kuti kholo lililonse limakonda ndi kusamalira mwana wawo momwe angathere.
Kuphatikana kwa anthu nthawi zonse kumawoneka ngati chinthu choyambirira, chokhala ndi chilengedwe chokhala ndi mizu yolimba yosinthika. Popeza kafukufuku waziphatikizi akhalapo kwazaka zochepa chabe, kuzindikira za mutuwu kwangoyamba kumene.
Khalani othokoza kuti mutha kudziwa kalembedwe kanu ndikukhala otsimikiza kuti ndikudziwitsidwa moyenera, kudziyesa nokha, ndi kudzikonda, mutha kuchoka pachitetezo kukhala chokhazikika.