Zamkati
- 1. Kumvetsetsa malire anu
- 2. Kusadzipereka kwa wina ndi mnzake
- 3. Kukula pang'ono
- 4. Kuyesa kukhulupirirana
Kumvetsetsa nthawi yopatukana muukwati sikophweka. Ngati mukufunika kusankha kupatukana ndipo vuto lanu silinayendetsedwe ndi zoopsa kapena zoyipa, mutha kukhala ndi zambiri pazomwe mwasankha.
Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati kupatukana kuli koyenera? Nanga bwanji ngati chisankho chopatukana muukwati ndichosankha mwachangu - kuti ngati zingachitike zitha kuwononga kuthekera kwanu kwazaka zambiri zokondana ndi mnzanu wapano pano?
Kodi mungadziwe bwanji nthawi yopatukana muukwati? Ndi funso lofunika kufunsa. Kukuthandizani pa chisankho chanu, tilembapo mfundo zingapo zomwe mungaganizire kuti musankhe ngati ili nthawi yakumamatira kapena kupotoza.
1. Kumvetsetsa malire anu
Tonse tili ndi malire; ndizofunikira pamoyo wathu kuti titha kukhazikitsa chitetezo mdziko lapansi kuti tithe kuphunzira momwe tingakhalire ndi ena. Malire ena adzawonekera kwa ife, koma malire ena amakhalabe otayika kwa ife chifukwa amakhala mukuzindikira kwathu kosazindikira ndipo amangopezeka muntchito ndi zisankho zathu.
Chifukwa choti tili ndi malire sizitanthauza kuti nthawi zonse amakhala okhazikika komanso osakondera. Timapanga malire mosazindikira, kutengera zomwe takumana nazo pamoyo wathu, ngakhale tili mwana. Malire ena samakugwirirani ntchito nthawi zonse. Ndipo muukwati, ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa chifukwa chomwe mnzanu wapikisana ndi malire anu, ndi zomwe zimapangitsa malirewo kuti mudziwe ngati ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu amene akuyenera kusintha, kapena inu.
Ngati malire anu adakhazikitsidwa pamalingaliro ndi mwachilungamo ndipo ndi malire oyenera (chitsanzo cha malire oyenera ndikuyembekeza kuti azilankhulidwa mwaulemu komanso mokoma mtima) ndipo mnzanu akupitiliza kukankhira malirewo, mutha kusankha kuti mupatule liti m'banja. Koma ngati muli ndi malire osamveka (mwachitsanzo, mnzanuyo sangathe kuyang'ana munthu wina yemwe si amuna kapena akazi kwa sekondi imodzi kapena ayi), ndipo mukupeza kuti mukufunsa banja lanu chifukwa cha izi, ndiye kuti muyenera kuchita nawo chidwi.
Musanasankhe kupatukana muukwati, khalani ndi nthawi yowunika ngati malire anu ali oyenera, ndipo ngati alibe, ndi nthawi yokambirana izi ndi mnzanu ndikupempha thandizo kuti muthe kuthana ndi izi.
Ngati mutha kumvetsetsa komwe malire anu ali ndipo mutha kukhala ndi nthawi yowunika momwe mwakhazikitsira malirewa mudzayamba kumvetsetsa zomwe zikukuyendetsani ku banja losasangalala komanso malingaliro opatukana. Izi zikuthandizani kuti mufike pamalo omwe mumatsimikizika kuti zisankho zanu ndizabwino komanso zogwirizana ndi zolinga zanu m'moyo. Ndipo nthawi zina, izi zitha kukhala zosowa zanu zonse m'banja.
2. Kusadzipereka kwa wina ndi mnzake
Ngati wina aliyense sangathe kudziwonera okha kuti adzipereka kwa wokondedwa wawo kwa moyo wake wonse ngakhale mavuto ena abanja anu atathetsedwa, ndipo palibe zifukwa zina zomwe zimakhudza izi, ndiye kuti kudziwa kupatukana muukwati kumakhala kosavuta. Popanda kudzipereka kuchokera kwa onse awiri, ndizotheka kuti banja lanu lidzakhala pamiyala nthawi yanu yonse yocheza. Chifukwa chake ndizomveka kumasula wina ndi mnzake.
3. Kukula pang'ono
Kutalikirana pakati pa okwatirana ndi vuto lomwe mabanja ambiri amakhala nalo nthawi ndi nthawi. Mabanja ambiri amatha kubwereranso limodzi patadutsa nthawi yayitali kuchokera kwa wina ndi mnzake; koma nthawi zina, ngati mtunda sunayendetsedwe, ungayambitse mavuto akulu m'banja omwe angadzetse funso losapeweka loti kaya ndi nthawi yopatukana m'banja.
Kulephera kukhala paubwenzi wapamtima, kapena kusakwaniritsa zolinga limodzi, kapena kusadzipereka kwa wina ndi mnzake ndizomwe zidakusiyanitsani. Nthawi zina anthu amakhala limodzi ngakhale ali pachibwenzi cholakwika. Koma nthawi zina, pamangokhala zolakwika, kusokonezedwa, kulumikizana molakwika komanso kusamvana komwe kumapangitsa banja kutha. Zonsezi zimangofunika kuwunika, kuwunikanso, ndikuyanjanitsa kuti nonse, monga banja, mudzimasule ku zovuta za moyo ndikukhazikika mu chikondi chanu, kudzipereka kwanu komanso cholinga chanu chokhala ndi banja lanu.
Zomwe zimafunika kuti mudziwe nthawi yopatukana muukwati munthawiyi ndikudziwa mbali yomwe mumakhala. Kodi mukulekana chifukwa cha nkhani zikuluzikulu kapena mukungokhala ndi mavuto ena ochepa? Kuti agwire bwino ntchito, onse awiri ayenera kukhala owona mtima. Dziwonetseni nokha chifukwa chomwe mudakwatirana, chifukwa chomwe mukufunira kukhalabe m'banja, komanso chifukwa chomwe mungafunire kupatukana. Komanso moona mtima ngati mumamukondabe mnzanuyo komanso ngati muli wokhulupirika kwa iwo. Patulani mantha aliwonse, kapena mkwiyo ndipo yang'anani ukwati wanu molingana ndi malingaliro owona awa.
4. Kuyesa kukhulupirirana
Njira yomaliza yodziwira nthawi yopatukana muukwati, ngati mwadutsa macheke onsewa, ndipo simukukumana ndi nkhanza dzifunseni izi. Kodi mungakhulupirire mnzanu?
Kodi mungakhulupirire mnzanu kuti apitilize kukukondani ndikudzipereka kwa inu? Kunena zowona momwe amaonera banja lanu, komanso polumikizana ndi inu kuti muthe kubwereranso limodzi? Kodi mungakhulupirire mnzanu kuti agwire nanu ntchito kuti athandize nonsenu?
Kutenga komaliza
Ngati china chake muukwati wanu chiyenera kusintha kuti chipulumuke, muyenera kudziwa kuti mungakhulupirire mnzanuyo kukhala wodzipereka kwathunthu kuti agwire nanu ntchito kuti abweretse kusintha osabwereranso kuzinthu zakale. Ngati simungakhulupirire mnzanu kapena nokha kuti simubwerera kuzinthu zakale, ndibwino kuti muganizire ngati mungakhale ndi moyo kwamuyaya, kapena ngati mukugwirizana kwambiri. Ndipo ngati kuli kunyengerera kwakukulu, ndipo kukhulupirirana sikungagwiritsidwe ntchito, ndiye kuti mwina ndi nthawi yoti mupatule mayesero kuti muwone momwe nonse mumakhalira kutali.