Zamkati
- 1. Kudziwika kapena kusokonezeka
- 2. Maganizo akale, odziwika bwino
- 3. Kusokonezeka m'mbuyomu
- 1. Kusamvana ndi achibale ena
- 2. Kusintha kwakukulu kawiri munthawi yochepa
Mabanja ambiri amakambirana zoyambira chithandizo cha maanja ngati akukangana mobwerezabwereza, akusintha kwakukulu monga kukwatiwa kapena kukhala ndi mwana, akugonana komanso nkhani zokhudzana ndi kugonana, kapena akumva kuti sakumvana.
Koma ndi liti pamene zingakhale zothandiza kwambiri kuyamba chithandizo chamankhwala osiyanasiyana m'malo mwa — kapenanso kuwonjezera pa — chithandizo cha okwatirana?
Pali madera atatu omwe amafunikira chithandizo chamankhwala m'malo mwa mabanja:
1. Kudziwika kapena kusokonezeka
Mukumva kusokonezeka chifukwa chakunyengerera kumakukondani, kapena mukudandaula za kutaya ziwalo zanu zomwe mumakonda. Tonsefe timasintha chifukwa cha maubale omwe tili ... Kapena kodi nthawi zina mumakhala ndi nkhawa kuti mwina mukudzinyengerera kuti mukhale chinyengo cha anthu ena? Ambiri aife timalimbana ndi anthu osangalatsa kapena kufunikira kwakukulu kuti timve kuti timakondedwa (makamaka ndi anzathu).
Chithandizo chaumwini chitha kukuthandizani kuti muwone momwe mumamvera pakusintha komwe kukuchitika kapena kulingaliridwa, komanso momwe mungakhalire malire ndi ena ndikuwonetsetsa kuti mawu anu satayika. Kukhala ndi malo oti muzifotokozera zakukhosi kwanu mosabisa komanso mopanda manyazi (ngakhale 2% yanuyo yomwe imalakalaka mnzanu amangoyiponya) osafunikira kuganizira momwe mnzake akumvera kapena momwe angachitire (monga momwe mungachitire ndi awiriwo) ndi gawo lofunikira kwambiri kulumikizanso wekha.
2. Maganizo akale, odziwika bwino
Mukuwona kuti zina zomwe zikubwera ndi mnzanu sizatsopano kwenikweni. Nthawi zambiri timakhala ndi mikangano ndi wokondedwa wathu momwemonso tidakumana ndi banja lathu tikamakula. Mwinanso tidawona makolo athu akufuula wina ndi mnzake, ndipo ngakhale tidadzilonjeza tokha kuti sichidzakhala ife, tsopano tikudzipeza tokha, nafenso… tikukuwa. Kapenanso mwina sitimamva makolo athu atatikhumudwitsa tili mwana, ndipo tsopano tikumva chimodzimodzi ndi mnzathu: osamvetsetseka komanso ali okha. Zitha kukhala zowopsa ndikubweretsa nkhawa zakubwenzi kwanu kuti muzindikire zomwe zidachitika kale.
Chithandizo chaumwini chitha kukuthandizani kuzindikira ndikusintha njira zomwe mnzanu ali wofanana ndi banja lanu lochokera, komanso momwe amasiyana. Ikhozanso kukuthandizani kuti muphunzire kupanga zinthu mosiyanasiyana muubwenzi wanu - ngakhale bwenzi lanu lingafanane ndi amayi ndi abambo anu. Kukulitsa kumvetsetsa mozama pazomwe zimayambitsa kapena malo osaphika (tonsefe tili nawo!) Ndikuphunzira njira zodzichitira nokha chifundo mabataniwa atakankhidwa ndichinthu chofunikira kwambiri pa chithandizo cha munthu aliyense (chomwe chingapindulitse maubwenzi anu onse - achikondi , achibale, platonic, komanso ophunzira).
3. Kusokonezeka m'mbuyomu
Mitundu ina yazowopsa ndiyodziwikiratu kuposa ina: mwina mudapulumuka pakuzunzidwa kapena kuwona zachiwawa mnyumba mwanu mukukula. Mitundu ina yovulaza ndiyosazindikira (ngakhale itha kukhala yamphamvu ngati iyi): mwina "mumamenyedwa" kapena mumakulalikirani muli mwana, kholo lanu lomwe linali chidakwa, lidamwalira mwadzidzidzi kapena mosadziwika bwino (makamaka osadziwika), sanasamalidwe kwenikweni chifukwa abale ena anali pamavuto, kapena ali ndi miyambo yazikhalidwe zakale. Zochitika izi zimakhala mkati mwa matupi athu, zimatha kusunthidwa ndi maubwenzi (ngakhale omwe ali athanzi kwambiri!), Ndipo nthawi zambiri amakhumudwitsidwa ndi chithandizo cha mabanja.
Komabe, akuyenera kulemekezedwa munthawi yomwe othandizira amatha kudziwa bwino zomwe mwakumana nazo (osafunikira kuganizira kapena kuphatikiza za mnzanu). Thandizo laumwini ndilofunika kuti apange chitetezo, kukondana, komanso kudalirana ndi othandizira anu omwe amabwera chifukwa chakumvetsera kwathunthu kwa inu komanso kusatetezeka kwanu.
Pali magawo awiri omwe angapindule kwambiri ndi chithandizo chamankhwala, kapena ena kuphatikiza Za ntchito ya anthu ndi banja:
1. Kusamvana ndi achibale ena
Mwangokwatirana, kapena kukwatiwa, kapena kukhala ndi pakati ... ndipo mwadzidzidzi mphamvu zomwe zidachitika ndi makolo anu, abale anu, apongozi anu, azilamu anu asintha mwanjira yosayembekezereka. Nthawi zina pamachitika zivomerezi pakusintha kwakukulu ndipo mikangano imayamba. Ngakhale ndikofunikira kugwira ntchito yopanga malire komanso kulumikizana ndi wokondedwa wanu panthawiyi (chomwe ndi cholinga chachikulu cha ntchito ya awiriwa), ndikofunikanso kuzindikira kumvetsetsa kwanu ndi tanthauzo lanu pazomwe zikuchitika musanayambe kuthetsa mavuto ndi mnzanu.
Zingakhale zokopa kuti mulowe mkati Tiyeni tikonze mode pamene moto upsa. Chithandizo chaumwini chitha kukuthandizani kuti mukhale okhazikika muzochitikira zanu, kumvetsetsa, ndi zosowa musanachite kanthu. Kodi ndi mantha ati omwe akubwera kwa inu mukawona kuti muyenera kukhala ndi mphamvu pazolowera? Nchiyani chingakuthandizeni kuti muchepetse manthawo? Kodi mungatani kuti muthandize mnzanu kuti azichita nanu limodzi, kuti mukhale ndi zokumana nazozi m'malo mongomva kuti mwasiyidwa kapena mukukangana? Awa ndi mafunso abwino kuti mufufuze m'malo omwe mumathandizirako musanalimbane ndi vuto lakuthana ndi mavuto mu ntchito za awiriwa.
2. Kusintha kwakukulu kawiri munthawi yochepa
Kwonse ku US, nthawi yayitali omwe anthu akuyembekezera pakati paukwati ndi kukhala ndi mwana pafupifupi zaka zitatu. Kaya mumapezeka kuti muli ndi mwana musanakwatirane kapena kukwatiwa, kuchita zonse nthawi yofananira, kudikirira zaka zitatu musanakhale ndi mwana, kapena kudikirira zaka zisanu - kusinthaku kumabweretsa kusintha kwakanthawi kochepa. Kafukufuku apeza kuti kukwatira kumavoteledwa mkati mwazinthu 10 zovuta kwambiri m'moyo. Kafukufuku akuwonetsanso kuti kukhala kholo latsopano kumaonedwa kuti ndi nthawi yovuta kwambiri m'banja.
Kuyamba kwamankhwalawa ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yodzithandizira ndikudziwitsanso za momwe zosinthazi ziliri (kapena zidzakhalire) mkati mwanu komanso maubale anu. Kodi zikutanthauza chiyani kwa inu kuti mukhale mkazi kapena mwamuna? Mayi kapena bambo? Ndi magawo ati a inu omwe angakuthandizeni kwambiri mukakhala omasuka ndi maudindo anu atsopanowa? Ndi mbali ziti za inu nokha zomwe mukuwopa kuti zingakulepheretseni kukhala banja kapena kholo lomwe mukufuna kukhala? Ngakhale chithandizo chamagulu ndi chothandiza pokhazikitsa njira zopezera banja lanu latsopanoli m'njira yomwe ingakusangalatseni nonse, chithandizo chamankhwala chimathandizanso pophunzira zosowa zanu komanso zomwe mukufuna pamene mukukula pakusintha kwakukulu uku.
Othandizira maanja ena amangogwira ntchito ndi maanja pomwe anthu onse amadziperekanso kuchipatala. Amadziwa kuti mankhwala a mabanja nthawi zambiri sagwira ntchito (kapena amatenga nthawi yayitali kuti agwire ntchito) chifukwa m'modzi kapena onse awiri akuyenera kuganizira kwambiri za kudzimvetsetsa kwawo komanso mbiri ya mabanja awo mozama. Ngati mungayesetse mankhwala awiriwa ndipo namondwe ndiwokulira kuti muwone, mungafune kuyesa mankhwalawa poyamba (kapena nthawi yomweyo). Ngati mungasankhe kuyambitsa mankhwala awiriwa nthawi imodzi, zikomo kwambiri pakupanga ndalama zazikulu mwa inu nokha ndi luso laubwenzi wanu. Ngati mukuyesera kusankha ngati ntchito ya munthu aliyense kapena banja likhala gawo lanu loyamba, kumbukirani kuti muyenera kuzindikira ndi kukonza malingaliro anu ndi zikhulupiliro zanu kuti mukhale olumikizana kwambiri ndi munthu wina kuti mupindule ndi mankhwalawa.