Zamkati
- Kodi kutsimikizika kumatanthauza chiyani mu ubale?
- Njira 10 zokhalira munthu weniweni
- 1. Kulankhulana mwadala komanso moganizira ena
- 2. Sankhani kukonda wokondedwa wanu tsiku lililonse
- 3. Pangani malire mu ubale wanu
- 4. Khalani owonekera
- 5. Phunzilanani ndi kuphunzitsana zilankhulo za chikondi
- 6. Musalole kuti ubale wanu ukhale gwero lokhalo losangalalira
- 7. Limbanani ndi zovuta m'malo mopewa
- 8. Sangalalani ndi mnzanu mphindi iliyonse
- 9. Tengani udindo pazomwe mwachita
- 10. Sungani ubale wanu
- Mapeto
Mungatani mutapeza kuti bwenzi lanu lakhala likunamizira kuti sali omwe sali? Kwa anthu ena, zimawasokoneza mtima kudziwa kuti akhala mgulu lomwe silikukwaniritsa maloto awo oti akhale ubale weniweni.
Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe anthu amadzipangira okha asanalowe pachibwenzi ndi chifukwa choopa kuti wokondedwa wawo sawalandira. Lingaliro la kukhala wowona kwa inu nokha mu chibwenzi lingawoneke ngati loopsa, koma limamanga kukondana kwenikweni ndi chikondi.
Maubwenzi enieni adapangidwa kuti akhale okhazikika chifukwa onse awiri ndiokonzeka kugawana mbali zawo zabwino, zoyipa komanso zoyipa zawo mopanda mantha kapena kukondera.
Kodi kutsimikizika kumatanthauza chiyani mu ubale?
Kutsimikizika kwa maubwenzi kumachitika ngati onse awiri ali owonamtima komanso owona mtima wina ndi mnzake. Onse awiri amvetsetsa kuti palibe amene ali wangwiro, koma ndiwololera kuvomereza zolakwa za wina ndi mzake ndikubala zipatso zabwino.
Chofunika kwambiri, kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti kutsimikizika mu maubwenzi ndi njira imodzi yopangira mgwirizano weniweni pakati pawo. Kuphatikiza apo, maubwenzi enieniwo alibe mantha komanso kusatekeseka chifukwa onse awiri amakondana ndi mtima wonse, ngakhale akalankhulana za chiopsezo chawo.
Njira 10 zokhalira munthu weniweni
Kuwonetsa kutsimikizika ndichinthu chofunikira kwambiri paubwenzi. Ngati mukuchita zowona nokha pachibwenzi ndipo mnzanuyo akutsatirani, umakhala ubale wabwino, wolimba komanso wowona mtima.
Kupanga izi ndikukhala ndi maubale enieni, nazi njira zina zoyambira:
1. Kulankhulana mwadala komanso moganizira ena
Kukhala wachidwi komanso woganizira polankhulana kumapangitsa mnzanu kuzindikira kuti mumasamala zakukhosi kwawo. Wokondedwa wanu akakuuzani zosowa zawo kwa inu, ndikofunikira kuti musamangodzipangira nokha. Coach Relationship Richard E. Hellen akuwona kulumikizana kwachindunji pakati pa kukhala dala m'mbali zonse zaubwenzi wanu ndikukhala ndi banja losangalala.
Pankhani yakukhala owona, achidwi, ndi oganizira ena, kulumikizana ndichimodzi mwazomwe zimayesa muyeso. Ndikofunikira kudziwa kuti kulumikizana kotereku ndi njira ziwiri, chifukwa zimakhudza kuyankhula, kumvetsera, komanso kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi yabwino kuti mumvetsetse malingaliro a mnzake.
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2. Sankhani kukonda wokondedwa wanu tsiku lililonse
Kukonda mnzanu ndikofunikira kuti mukhale munthu wodalirika. Ndikofunikira kunena kuti abwenzi omwe asankha kukonda mwachidwi komanso mozindikira amakhala ndi ubale wabwino kuposa omwe satero.
Zingakuthandizeni ngati mumachita dala momwe mumakhalira komanso polankhula ndi mnzanu. Ngati muuza wokondedwa wanu kuti mumawakonda komanso mumasamala za iwo, zikuwonekeranso pazomwe mumawachitira komanso kuwachitira. Kupatula apo, zochita zimalankhula mokweza kuposa mawu.
Kusankha kukonda wokondedwa wanu tsiku lililonse kumakuthandizani kuti muwone ngati chinthu choyambirira. Wokondedwa wanu adzamva kukhala wotetezeka chifukwa mumawakonda mwadala, ndipo amatha kuwona izi muzochita zanu. Zochita za tsiku ndi tsiku zimathandizira kukhazikitsa kulumikizana kowona pamene maanja aphunzira kudalirana.
3. Pangani malire mu ubale wanu
Maanja akuyenera kupanga malire ndikuvomerezana kuti asawadutse kuti akhale owona kwa iwo okha. Pali zinthu zina zomwe simumakonda zomwe zingakupwetekeni mnzanu akazichita. Ngakhale muli pachibwenzi, muli ndi umunthu wanu, ndipo simuyenera kunyalanyaza izi.
Ndikofunikira kukhazikitsa malire chifukwa kuwonongeka kwakukulu kumatha kuchitika muubwenzi mzerewu ukadutsa. Kulemekeza malire kumaphatikizapo kulemekezana ndi kukhulupirirana ndi kuganiza zosawononga chibwenzi pochita china chake mozindikira chomwe chikupweteketsa mnzanu.
Onani kanemayu kuti mudziwe zambiri zakukhazikitsa malire muubwenzi:
4. Khalani owonekera
Anthu ambiri zimawavuta kukhala owonekera poyera m'mabwenzi chifukwa sangathe kukhala ndi lingaliro loti wokondedwa wawo adziwe zinsinsi zina za iwo. Ubale weniweni umamangidwa poyera chifukwa onse awiri azidzipereka kugawana zakukhosi kwawo, malingaliro awo, ndikuchita popanda kubisa chilichonse.
Kukhala wowonekera bwino kwa mnzanu kumatanthauza kugawana nawo zinthu zomwe mumachita manyazi mukamagawana ndi wina aliyense. Chowonadi ndi chakuti, mudzakhala mukuwulula zofooka zanu, koma mukutsimikizira zowona pamapeto pake.
5. Phunzilanani ndi kuphunzitsana zilankhulo za chikondi
Malinga ndi buku la Katswiri wa Relationship Gary Chapman lotchedwa The Five Love Languages, pali njira zisanu zomwe anthu okwatirana amakondana. Ziyankhulo zisanu izi ndi izi:
- Kukhudza thupi
- Machitidwe a ntchito
- Nthawi yabwino
- Mawu otsimikiza
- Kupereka mphatso
Kuti mukhale ovomerezeka muubwenzi, muyenera kuphunzira zilankhulo za mnzanu moona mtima. Kukhala ndi chidziwitso ichi kumakuthandizani kuti muwakonde momwe amafunira kukondedwa. Kumbali inayi, kusankha kusadziwa zilankhulo za mnzanu kungatanthauze kuti simukufuna kukhala pachibwenzi.
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6. Musalole kuti ubale wanu ukhale gwero lokhalo losangalalira
Palibe amene ayenera kukakamizidwa kuti alole ubale wawo kukhala gwero lokhalo lachimwemwe chawo. Chibwenzi chisanachitike, mudapeza chisangalalo chanu m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Ndipo ngakhale mukuyenera kusintha zina ndi zina m'banjamo, ndikofunikira kuti musataye dzina lanu.
Kuti mukhale owona, muyenera kuyanjanitsa ubale wanu ndi mbali zina m'moyo wanu. Chowonadi ndichakuti, ubale wanu uyenera kukhala imodzi mwazinthu zambiri zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala achimwemwe osati gwero lokhalo. Mukadzinyalanyaza nokha mobwerezabwereza, mkwiyo ndi kunyozana zitha kuyamba kulowa muzochita ndi mnzanu.
Muubwenzi weniweni, onse awiri amakhalabe ndi chidziwitso ngakhale ali okondana, ndipo sagwiritsa ntchito zopusitsana kuti akhalebe osangalala. Mukamayesetsa kukwaniritsa zolinga zanu ndikukulitsa chidwi chanu, mupeza chisangalalo pazomwe mukuchita, ndipo zidzapindulitsanso ubalewo.
7. Limbanani ndi zovuta m'malo mopewa
Zovuta sizingapeweke, ndipo njira yabwino yopambana ndikuthana nayo m'malo mopewa. Pazibwenzi zenizeni, zovuta zimachitika, ndipo onse awiri atha kuthana ndi mavutowa chifukwa amamvetsetsana.
Amafika pamlingo wodzizindikira komanso kukondana kwenikweni komwe kumawathandiza kuthetsa vuto lililonse lomwe akukumana nalo mosavuta. Ndipo amazindikiranso kuti ubale wawo wakhala chida chofunikira chothandizira kukula kwawo.
8. Sangalalani ndi mnzanu mphindi iliyonse
Kuti mupange kulumikizana kowona, muyenera kukhala ozindikira komanso okhazikika. Ndikofunika kukhala ndi nthawi yokwanira yogawira mnzanu zolinga zanu, zokhumba zanu, malingaliro anu, ndi malingaliro anu. Nthawi yabwino yocheza imatha kuthandiza mnzanu kuti akuwoneni zenizeni ndikumvetsetsa zomwe inu muli.
Sangalalani ndi nthawi ngati izi chifukwa zidzakhala nthawi zopanga chibwenzi. Pazibwenzi zenizeni, onse amakhala nthawi yokwanira yokambirana mozama zomwe zimawathandiza kumvetsetsa za wokondedwa wawo. Kuphatikiza apo, amapanga nthawi yoti azisangalala komanso kupumula chifukwa zimawapangitsa kukhala ogwirizana bwino.
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9. Tengani udindo pazomwe mwachita
Maubwenzi enieni sangapitirirebe ngati mupitilizabe kuimba mlandu mnzanu pazolakwa zanu. Tsoka ilo, anthu ena amanyalanyaza kuvomereza zosankha zawo chifukwa safuna kukhala ndi zolakwa zawo. Chifukwa chake, amakonda kuimba mlandu wina, poganiza kuti ziwapindulitsa.
Ngati mupitiliza kupewa udindo m'malo modziyankha nokha, simukukula zowona, ndipo ubale ukhoza kupitilirabe. Ndikofunikira kusintha malingaliro anu ndikukhala pamwambowu mwa kupeza mayankho ndikudalira mnzanu kuti akuthandizeni.
10. Sungani ubale wanu
Ndikofunikira kunena kuti maubwenzi enieni ndi omwe amapangidwa ndi okwatirana omwe amayamikira ubale wawo ndikuchita zonse zotheka kuti agwire bwino ntchito. Kudzidalira kumabweretsa kusasamala komanso kusatetezeka muubwenzi uliwonse, chifukwa chake kuyenera kuchitidwa tsiku lililonse kuti mupewe izi.
Kafukufuku wochitidwa pa maanja omwe ali pachibwenzi cha nthawi yayitali awonetsa kulumikizana kwachindunji pakati pa zowona muubwenzi ndi kukondana, komanso kusamalira mnzake.
Muyenera kukhala pachibwenzi pazifukwa zomveka chifukwa zimatsimikizira kuchuluka kwa mtengo womwe mumayika pamenepo ndi kwa mnzanu. Chibwenzi chenicheni chimapatsa inu ndi mnzanu mwayi wokondana wina ndi mnzake ngakhale mutakhala ndi mavuto ena.
Mapeto
Osataya tulo chifukwa chibwenzi chanu sichili pamalo enieni pakali pano. Kumvetsetsa momwe mungagwirire ntchito kukhazikitsa ubale weniweni komanso wowona zitha kuwoneka kovuta. Koma ngati inu ndi mnzanu mukufunitsitsa kuchita zomwezo ndikutsatira njira zomwe zatchulidwa pano, inunso mutha kupita kumeneko.
Ingoyambirani kulumikizana limodzi ndipo ubale wanu upeza bwino.