Zamkati
- Njira yothandiza kumanga banja losangalala
- Ukwati wosavuta komanso kufunikira kwa chikondi nthawi zakale
- Kulekana ndi kusudzulana nthawi zambiri zimakhala zosankha koma osamva kuwawa
- Kodi chikondi n'chofunikadi m'banja?
- Mutha kupeza malingaliro atsopano paukwati wanu
- Dzifunseni ngati banja lanu silinathe
- Sankhani zenizeni zopanda ungwiro pamalingaliro omwe akuwoneka ngati angwiro
Kunja kwa gawo la nthano, maukwati amabwera ndi zovuta ndi zovuta. Izi ndi zomwe ndaphunzira pazochitikira zanga komanso zantchito.
Cinderella ndi Prince Charming akuwoneka okoma palimodzi, komabe m'mene adafufuzira mu seweroli "Mu nkhalango", patangopita nthawi yochepa atakwatirana, adavomereza kuti maphunziro ake okongoletsa sanamukonzekeretse kukhulupirika komanso kuwona mtima: "Ndidaleredwa kukhala osiririka, osati oona mtima. ”
Ngakhale banja lililonse limakhala ndi zovuta zawo ndi kusamvana, ndizotheka kukulitsa mavutowa poyang'ana kusamvana komwe okwatirana ali nako pankhani ya mgwirizano wawo woyamba.
Njira yothandiza kumanga banja losangalala
M'masamba otsatirawa, ndiziwunikanso mwatsatanetsatane ndikuyesera kupereka njira zina zothandiza kuti banja liziyenda bwino.
M'miyambo yazikhalidwe, nthawi zambiri pamakhala lingaliro loti banja ndi mgwirizano, nthawi zambiri pakati pa mabanja a awiriwo. M'miyambo ina, panali mgwirizano womwe umafotokoza momveka bwino zomwe anthu omwe angokwatirana kumene achita. Nthawi zina, zotsatira zakusasunga malonjezano amenewa zidatchulidwa makamaka, nthawi zina kutha kwaukwati.
Ukwati wosavuta komanso kufunikira kwa chikondi nthawi zakale
Mapangano okalamba okwatirana anali lonjezo lochitidwa ndi gulu laling'ono lomwe linali lofunikira pamoyo wa munthuyo komanso thanzi la mabanja ndi mabanja.
Mu chikhalidwe chathu, maanja nthawi zambiri samakhala ndi gulu lofanana lomwe lingakhale mboni ku malonjezo a maanja ndikuwapatsa udindo pazolonjezano zomwe adapanga.
Zikuwoneka kuti pachikhalidwe chathu chamakono chakumadzulo, kumveka kwa mgwirizano wapachiyambi kumatayika pachisangalalo cha msonkhanowo, zikondwerero, ziyembekezo komanso malingaliro azikhalidwe zamgwirizano wamtsogolo.
Ndikofunikira kudziwa kuti munthawi yathu ino, kuli kusokonekera kosalekeza kwamabanja anyukiliya. Mpaka pasanathe zaka zana zapitazo, chipangizocho chidalinso chimangidwe chachuma cha anthu. Makamaka chifukwa azimayi samatha kukhala kunja kwa banja, komanso kugonana opanda ana sikunali kosavuta komanso kosavuta monga kumakhalira masiku ano.
Zaka zovomerezeka zogonana zikucheperachepera, pomwe ukalamba ukuwoneka ngati wachedwa kufikira ukalamba. Zomwe zaka 18 zinkatanthauza: udindo, kudziyankha mlandu, komanso kutha kudzisamalira ukakhala gawo lothandizira pagulu, zikuchitika pafupipafupi zaka 30 ngati zingatheke.
Zifukwazo ndizachuma komanso chikhalidwe komanso ndizopanda kutengera nkhaniyi. Zovuta zakubanja zomwe ndimasanthula pano nthawi zambiri zimakhudzana ndi kuwonekera kwakukulu ndikuwoneka kupezeka kwa kugonana, komanso kuthekera kocheperako kothetsa malingaliro okhudzana ndi kugonana.
Popeza malonjezowo sanatchulidwe bwino, komanso momwe gulu lochitira umboni lasinthira, ndikosavuta kuganiza kuti zofuna za munthu wopanda chidziwitso zinali malonjezo enieni opangidwa ndi wokwatirana naye. Mnzake m'modzi adafuna kupeza wina yemwe angawasamalire ndikuwapatsa zosowa zawo zonse zapadziko lapansi, koma sizinalonjezedwe.
Wokondedwa wake akhoza kulakalaka kuti chikondi, kukhudza, komanso kugonana zitha kupezeka, komabe izi sizinalonjezedwe.
Zomwe zingawonjezere kusamvana pamgwirizano wapachiyambi ndi kuchuluka kwa maphwando omwe akuchita nawo. Kumayambiriro kwa zaka za 2000, kanema woseketsa adawonetsedwa pamsonkhano wama psychology. Mufilimu yayifupi ija, banja linawonetsedwa limodzi pabedi lalikulu. Kumbali yake kunalinso amayi ake ndi abambo ake ndipo mbali yake analinso amayi ake ndi abambo ake. Makolowa anayi amangokhalira kugawana malingaliro ndi malangizowo (oyipa) ndi banjali.
Makolowo ndi chitsanzo chimodzi chabe cha zomwe zikukhudza banja. Izi zitha kuphatikiza bizinesi, zokhumba zauzimu, ndi maloto opulumutsa mnzake kapena kupulumutsidwa ndi iwo.
Ma Banja Amkati ali ndi chilankhulo chosangalatsa chofotokozera mkhalidwe womvetsa chisoniwu. Lingaliro lamaganizoli limalongosola moyo wathu wamkati momwe makamaka umakhala ndi oteteza ndi akapolo. Ogwidwawo ndi ena mwa ma psyche athu omwe sanalandiridwe ndi malo athu. Otetezera ndi magawo omwe aliyense adapanga, kuti awonetsetse kuti ukapolo ndiwotetezeka komanso nthawi yomweyo mutsimikizire kuti gawolo silikubwereranso ku gawo lililonse lowoneka.
Malinga ndi IFS, anthu akakumana ndi okwatirana naye amayembekeza kuti ziwalo zawo zomwe zidatengedwa ukapolo zibwelere kwawo ndikukhala ogwirizana, komabe ndi omwe amateteza omwe amabwera kuzogulitsanso chimodzimodzi, ndipo atsimikiza mtima kuteteza achinyamata ndi omwe ali pachiwopsezo ku ukapolo. kutali kwambiri momwe zingathere.
M'nthawi yathu ino, zoletsa komanso manyazi zomwe zimakhudzana ndi kusudzulana zimachepa kwambiri ngati sizichotsedwa. Chifukwa chake kukula kwa chisudzulo kumapangitsa kukhala kosavuta kwa anthu apabanja kulingalira za kusudzulana kapena kupatukana ngakhale atavutika kwambiri.
Kulekana ndi kusudzulana nthawi zambiri zimakhala zosankha koma osamva kuwawa
Koma ngakhale atakhala kusankha kosankhidwa, mchitidwewu umakhala wopanda zopweteka. Pomwe pali kutenga nawo mbali kwakukulu pazachuma makamaka ngati kuli ana, kupatukana kumakhala kovuta ndipo kuzunzika kumakulirakulira. Kukhala owona mtima, otseguka komanso aulemu kumachepetsa kupwetekana. Kuyesera kubisa kusamvana m'banja kwa ana, kapena choipirapo, kukhala pamodzi "kwa ana" nthawi zonse kumawononga ndikuwonjezera mavuto kwa onse okhudzidwa.
Nthawi zina chisankho choyambirira chokhala limodzi sichinali chokhwima kapena chosokonezeka ndikuchisiya chimatha kumasula onse awiri kuti akule ndikupitilira. Nthawi zina, abwenziwo adatenga njira zosiyanasiyana zamoyo, ndipo ngakhale poyamba anali ofanana ndipo anali osangalala limodzi, ino ndi nthawi yoti atenge njira zosiyanasiyana.
Kodi chikondi n'chofunikadi m'banja?
Nthawi zambiri okwatirana amadziwa kulumikizana kwakukulu ngakhalenso chikondi ndi kukopa, komabe pali zopweteka zambiri, manyazi ndi kunyoza zomwe banja silingathe kukonzedwa.
Mukadzipeza muli amodzi mwamipanizi yovuta mbanja mwanu, dzifunseni nokha zomwe mukuyembekezera ndi zosowa zomwe sizikukwaniritsidwa.
Kodi mukukhulupirira kuti wokondedwa wanu adalonjeza kukwaniritsa chiyembekezo chimenecho kapena kudzakwaniritsa zosowa zanu? Yesani kaye kulankhula ndi wokondedwa wanu. Ngati pali phindu lomwe latsalira muubwenzi, lingokula kuchokera pakukambirana moona mtima, ngakhale zokambiranazo zingakhale zovuta komanso zopweteka.
Ngati kukambirana moona mtima ndi momasuka zikuwoneka kuti sizotheka pakadali pano, yesani kukambirana ndi mnzanu wodalirika.
Mutha kupeza malingaliro atsopano paukwati wanu
Mutha kuzindikira kuti zilizonse zomwe zili zofunikira muubwenzi zimapitilira zovuta, kuzindikira komwe kumatha kubweretsa kuchiritso ndikupeza njira yobwererera ku chisangalalo, chisangalalo, ndi chisangalalo. Muthanso kulandira chilolezo chodziwa kuti kupatukana ndiye njira yabwinoko ndikupitilira nazo.
Nthawi zambiri okwatirana amayembekezera kuti anzawo azikwaniritsa zosowa zawo zonse. Kutchula zosowa zanu zomwe simukwaniritse, ngakhale kuwunika kufunika kwake, zitha kuthandiza kuzindikira kuti zosowa zina zimakwaniritsidwa muubwenzi pomwe zina zimatha kufunidwa m'malo ena, zochitika zina, ndi mabwenzi ena.
Dzifunseni ngati banja lanu silinathe
Zitha kukhala zothandiza kwambiri kuzindikira nokha kuti banja lakwaniritsidwa. Simukonda kukhalamo ndipo mumaopa kusintha kapena simukudziwa. Ngakhale kulandiridwa kosasangalatsa, ndibwino kwambiri kuposa kungonamizira kapena kupewa zenizeni.
Mwachilengedwe, ngati kuzindikira kuti banja likukanika kungachitike limodzi ndi wokondedwa wanu, kungakuthandizeni nonse kumva bwino pang'ono pang'ono ndikukhala ndi chiyembekezo chotsimikizika ndi dongosolo loti mukwaniritse.
Kusamvana pa nkhani zogonana; zomwe zimachitika pafupipafupi, kalembedwe, ndi ena onse, ndiomwe amafala kwambiri m'banja.
Kukambirana nkhaniyi nthawi zambiri kumakhala kovuta ndipo kumafuna luso komanso kukhwima. Nthawi zambiri pamakhala mfundo ina yofunika monga ana kapena ndalama, yomwe ikafotokozedwa momveka bwino imamveka ngati: “Tingapite bwanji patsogolo ndi moyo wathu wogonana pomwe sitingathe kuyankhula za x; tingathetse bwanji x tisanachite zogonana? ”
Kutchulidwa, catch22 iyi imamveka yopusa, komabe zitha kukhala kupita patsogolo kwakukulu kuvomereza kuti izi ndiye zenizeni. Banja likakhala lotere, m'modzi mwa omwe akuyanjanawo ayenera kulimba mtima kuti akhale pachiwopsezo ndikupanga gawo loyamba. Izi zitha kulimbikitsa mnzake kuti akhale wolimba mtima nthawi ina.
Sitingakhale ndi "amene timamukonda" chifukwa nthawi zambiri munthu ameneyo ndi wongopeka chabe.
Nthawi zambiri timakhala omangirizidwa ku chithunzicho ndipo sitikufuna kuchipereka chifukwa chenicheni cha mnofu ndi magazi. Mliri wa zolaula makamaka ndi chizindikiro cha malingalirowa komanso kuchepa kwa kuyenda bwinobwino pakati pa maloto, zikhumbo, ndi zenizeni.
Wolemba ndakatulo komanso mphunzitsi Robert Bly amalangiza maanja kuti abwezeretse ziwonetsero zawo. Ntchito yakuda kwambiri iyi imaphatikizaponso kuyang'ana pansi pazolakwika zathu ndikuzilandira ndikukhala nazo monga gawo la umunthu. Zimaphatikizaponso kuyang'ana m'maso mwa mnzathu, kugawana malingaliro athu osakhutira ndi kusakhutira, kuvomereza kuti zokambiranazo zingawapweteke ndikukhululuka nokha ndi mnzanu chifukwa chokhala anthu komanso olakwika.
Sankhani zenizeni zopanda ungwiro pamalingaliro omwe akuwoneka ngati angwiro
Gawo lalikulu lakukula ndikuphunzira kusankha zosakwanira kuposa malingaliro olakwika.
Anthu okwatirana akakumana ngati achikulire awiri, omwe amakhala osiyana komanso olumikizana, amapangira china chatsopano, chachikulu kuposa kuchuluka kwa ziwalozo. Onsewa amadziwa zosowa zawo ndi malire awo. Aliyense akupereka kwaulere ndikulandira ndi kuthokoza, ndipo mosayembekezera.
Onse awiri amadziwa zomwe amachita bwino komanso zomwe sangathe ndipo samachita manyazi ndi zolakwa zawo kapena umunthu wa wokondedwa wawo. Mtundu wina wachikondi ndi chisangalalo ukhoza kukula mu mgwirizano wamtunduwu wokhala ndi chipinda chokwanira kuphatikiza zodandaula komanso zokhumudwitsa.