Oposa 88% achichepere amakhulupirira kuti ali ndi wokondedwa wawo kwinakwake akuwayembekezera, malinga ndi kafukufuku wa National Marriage Project ku Rutgers University. Zachidziwikire, lingaliro loti munthu amakhala ndi moyo lili ponseponse ... koma ndi zenizeni? Kodi mawuwa adachokera kuti? Kodi ndizowopsa kukhulupirira lingaliro lomwe kuli kovuta kutsimikizira?
Kwa ambiri, lingaliro la kukhala ndi moyo wamzikale limazikidwa ku choikidwiratu, chifuniro cha Mulungu, kapena kubadwanso kwatsopano kwa chikondi chimene kale. Ena alibe chidziwitso chodziwikiratu cha chifukwa chake amakhulupirira lingaliro lamunthu wokhalira ndi moyo koma amadzimva kuti ali ndi cholinga chokhala ndi munthu m'modzi padziko lino lapansi.
Lingaliro loti munthu amakhala ndi moyo wokwatirana ndi lomwe limakopa-lingaliro lakuti munthu m'modzi akhoza kumaliza bwino, kapena kutithandizira, ndi lokongola modabwitsa. Ngati ndipamene tidzapeze mnzathu weniweni, zolakwika zathu sizikhala zofunikira popeza mnzathu adzakhala wokonzeka kuthana ndi zolakwika izi.
Nthawi zikakhala zabwino, ndikosavuta kukhulupirira kuti munthu amene muli naye akhoza kukhala wokondedwa wanu. Koma zinthu zikafika povuta, chidaliro chomwecho chimagwedezeka mosavuta. Bwanji ngati inu mukanakhala mukulakwitsa-bwanji ngati munthuyu sanalidi mnzanu weniweni? Zachidziwikire, mnzanu weniweni wauzimu sangakukhumudwitseni, samakumvetsetsani, sangakukhumudwitseni. Mwina mnzanu weniweni wamoyo akadali kwinakwake, akukudikirirani.
Ngakhale lingaliro loti wokwatirana ndi mzimu silingatsimikiziridwe motsimikizika, silingatsutsidwe. Ndiye ndi zovuta ziti zomwe zingabwere chifukwa chokhulupirira anzanu, kapena chiyembekezo chimodzi? Vuto lingakhale kuti lingaliro lathu la okwatirana ndi moyo litha kutipangitsa kukhala ndi ziyembekezo zosatheka za chikondi ndikutipangitsa kusiya maubwenzi omwe ali ndi tsogolo labwino.
Nenani kuti mwapeza winawake wapadera, yemwe angathe kukhala wokondedwa naye. Tsoka ilo, sikuti kumwamba kumatseguka ndi kupereka chizindikiro chodziwikiratu kuti munthu amene muli naye ndiye "ameneyo." Popanda chitsimikizo chotere, ndikosavuta kupereka zifukwa zakuti "soul mate kugula" mukangoyamba kumene kukondana.
Kafukufuku wazaka 20 wolemba Paul Amato, Ph.D., ku Penn State, akuwonetsa kuti 55 mpaka 60% ya mabanja osudzulana adataya mgwirizano ndi kuthekera kwenikweni. Ambiri mwa anthuwa adanenabe kuti amakondabe okondedwa wawo koma adatopa kapena kumva kuti ubalewo sunakwaniritse zomwe amayembekezera.
Maubwenzi abwino nthawi zambiri amatayidwa, osati chifukwa cha mavuto osasinthika, koma chifukwa mnzathuyo sanakwaniritse malingaliro achikondi omwe tinali nawo m'mutu mwathu. Makamaka pamaubwenzi okhalitsa, okwatirana kapena okwatirana, kuthetsa ubale wolimba chifukwa choti simulinso 100% wotsimikiza kuti wokondedwa wanu ndi wokondedwa wanu akuwoneka wosasamala.
Izi sizikutanthauza kuti tiyenera kukhalabe muubwenzi wopanda thanzi, koma, kuti tiwunikire kuyanjana kwa ubale moyenera. Popeza kutanthauzira zomwe zimayeneretsa munthu kukhala mnzake wa moyo ndizosavuta, yesani kuyesa ubale wanu m'malo mongoyang'ana maziko monga chikondi, ulemu, komanso kuyanjana. Mosakayikira, machesi ena ndi abwino kuposa ena. Koma kukhala woyenera sizitanthauza kuti muyenera kugawana zikhalidwe kapena chidwi chilichonse monga mnzanu.
Okwatirana atha kukhalapo ... mwina muli ndi mwayi kuti mwapeza kale anu. Pamapeto pake chomwe chimafunikira koma kuthekera kwa mnzathu kuchita mayeso ena osamvetsetseka. Chofunika kwambiri ndikuti tili ndi chidaliro pakutha kwathu kupitiliza kupeza kukongola, mphamvu, inde, chikondi chenicheni, muubwenzi wathu ndi munthu yemwe tili naye.