Mwachidule, yankho ndilo - limatero. Kapena kwenikweni - zitha kutero. Koma ndizovuta kwambiri kuposa kuchiritsa ndi munthu m'modzi chifukwa, onse awiri akuyenera kukhala ofunitsitsa kusintha ndikukhala ndi kuthekera kochita izi. Momwe mankhwalawa adzagwirire ntchito kwa banjali, komanso kwa okwatirana payekhapayekha, zimadalira pazinthu zingapo, zomwe zofunika kwambiri ndikudzipereka kwa omwe akuchita nawo njirayi, chikhalidwe ndi kuzama kwavutoli, mulingo womwe makasitomala amakhudzana ndi omwe amawathandiza, komanso kuyenerera kwa anzawo poyamba. Nazi zina zosangalatsa komanso zofunikira kudziwa musanayambe kukambirana ndi wothandizira za vuto lanu, kapena mukadali kale:
1. Mwina mudasankha kale ngati mungalole kuti mankhwalawa athandize kupulumutsa banja lanu.
Ndipo chisankhochi sichimadziwa kanthu. Kaya mukukhulupirira kuti theka la maukwati amathetsa banja (ziwerengero zomwe sizowona, monga masiku ano anthu omwe amakwatirana amatero makamaka chifukwa choganizira mozama ndi zikhulupiriro zolimba m'banja), kapena lingaliro lanu labwino kwambiri kuthetsa banja ngakhale kunja ukuwonabe kuti ukulimbana nalo dzino ndi msomali. Ndipo malingaliro oterewa, ngakhale simukudziwa kapena mwina mungawone pang'ono, ndiye chinthu chokha chofunikira kwambiri chomwe chingapange chisankho pakuyesa konse kwa othandizira kukuthandizani kuti mubwezeretse banja lanu. Sizachilendo kuti banjali lipite kuchipatala limodzi ndi m'modzi mwa akaziwo kuti awononge zoyesayesa za wothandizirayo, kuti alandire chitsimikizo cha zikhulupiriro zawo zamomwe ukwati wawo usinthira ndi kutha. Imeneyi ndi nkhani yovuta kwambiri ndipo imafunikira chidwi cha wothandizirana naye m'banja, ndipo akangobweretsedwapo, njira yatsalayi ndiyosavuta.
2. Mukangolowa kumene mu chithandizo chaukwati mpamene mpata woti ugwirire ntchito
Mikangano ya m'banja imakhala yachizolowezi ndikusintha mopitirira kuzindikira. Zitha kukhala kuti zidayamba ngati kukhumudwitsa chimodzi kapena zosowa za onse awiri, vuto lolumikizana mosavuta, kapena kusakhutira kumodzi, koma kusiya nkhani iliyonse yosayang'aniridwa kumabweretsa kukulira kusakhutira, kukulitsa kukhumudwitsidwa, ndikukhala osasangalala omwe amangokopa mavuto atsopano komanso okulirapo. Othandizira ena amalangizanso, pankhani imeneyi, kuti maanja ayambe ndi upangiri asanakwatirane kotero kuti aphunzitsidwe njira zoyankhulirana bwino ndikufotokozera momwe akumvera asanakumane ndi mavuto am'banja. Komabe, kwa iwo omwe ali pabanja kale ndipo akusemphana kale, ndikofunikira kuti mupeze upangiri ndi chithandizo kwa akatswiri mwachangu kuti chithandizo chabanja chikhale ndi mwayi wopambana.
3. Mutha kumaliza kusudzulana mulimonse - koma ndi chisankho chabwino kwambiri.
Palibe m'modzi mwa makasitomala am'banja omwe akuyembekeza kuti angawathandize kusudzulana (osadziwa mwina), koma amayembekeza kuchiritsidwa kwamatsenga pazovuta zawo zonse. Makasitomala onse pamaupangiri apabanja amapezeka pamenepo chifukwa amafuna kuti azisangalala ndi banja lawo. Komabe, izi nthawi zina zimatanthauza kuti adzasudzulana. Nthawi zina zibwenzi sizikhala zokwanira, nthawi zina mavuto amakula kwambiri kotero kuti kusiyanako kumatha. Zikatere, njira zothandizira anthu okwatirana zikhala nthawi yothetsera chibwenzicho ndikupatsa mphamvu anthuwo ngati munthu payekha, koma zotsatira zake ndikufikira mavuto omwe banja latha komanso kuthetsa ukwati. Nthawi zina, mankhwalawa amakhala ngati khushoni yomwe ingachepetse kugwa komwe sikungapeweke poyambirira.
Pomaliza, palibe yankho lapadziko lonse lapansi pamutuwu. Izi zitha kupulumutsa mabanja ena.Koma ena amathetsa banja, mosasamala kanthu za mavuto omwe chisudzulocho chimabweretsa - popeza kukhala m'banja nthawi zina kumakhala koopsa kwambiri. Dziko lapansi ladzaza ndi mabanja osudzulana mosangalala komanso omwe mabanja awo adapulumuka ndikuwongoleredwa mothandizidwa ndi wochiritsa wokwanira. Njira yokhayo yoyipa ndiyoti banjali likhalebe pakakangana kosagwirizana komanso kusamvana, komwe kumatha kuwononga miyoyo ya aliyense wokhudzidwayo.