Zamkati
- Kusasinthika kumabweretsa kusasamala
- Kodi kusefa ndi chiyani?
- Momwe mungaletse kusakhulupirika kupha ubale wanu
- Njira zothetsera kusayanjanitsika kunja kwa ubale wanu
Kusasunthika kumatha kukula mosavuta kukhala gawo lofala laubwenzi wanu osazindikira. Kudzudzulidwa ndi kudzudzulidwa nthawi zambiri kumakhala kovomerezeka munthawi zovuta, ndizokwanira kuchititsa kusagwirizana pakati pa anzawo.
Ngakhale kudutsamo kapena kupsinjika mosayembekezereka (mwachitsanzo, kutaya ntchito), zotsalira zotsalira zimatha kuzimiririka zinthu zitathetsedwa (mwachitsanzo, kupeza ntchito). Kusasamala koteroko kumatha kukuwonongerani mpaka mungaiwale zomwe zidakugwirizanitsani poyamba.
Mabanja ambiri omwe akukumana ndi kusakhulupirika mu chibwenzi nthawi zambiri amalongosola kumverera ngati palibe njira yothetsera vutoli. Titha kufananizidwa ndi kukwera galimoto pomwe mphindi imodzi mukuyendetsa bwino ndikutsatiranso, muli mbali mwa msewu ndi utsi wotuluka mnyumba. Zingamveke mwadzidzidzi, koma mwina mwanyalanyaza kukonza ndi kuyesa mafuta paulendo waubwenzi wanu.
Mwinanso mungapemphe mnzanu kuti atenge zinthu zina zofunika pakudya ndipo abweze zosowa zawo. Mungayankhe kuti "Simumvera!" Wokondedwa wanu atha kuyankha kuti "Chabwino simUKUSANGALALA ngakhale nditachita chiyani! Simungathe kusangalatsa! ”
Kodi ndi nkhani yanji yomwe mumachokera nthawi yopeza chinthu chomwe chinasowa? Kodi ndi zoyipa kwathunthu? Kodi mumayamikira kuti mnzanuyo walandira 95% ya zomwe mumafuna? Kapena ndikutenga kwakukulu komwe mnzanu amakuletsani nthawi zonse?
Ngati mumakonda kuyang'ana pazomwe mulibe (zomwe zikusowapo), mutuwo ukhoza kukhala ndi moyo wake wokha mu ubale wanu pamlingo wokulirapo. Kukumana ndi kusakhulupirika muubwenzi sizomwe zimachitika koma vuto lamaganizidwe. Kuti mumvetsetse momwe mungapewere kusakhulupirika m'banja lanu muyenera kumvetsetsa momwe kusakhulupirika kumagwirira ntchito.
Kusasinthika kumabweretsa kusasamala
Kusasamala kumabweretsanso kusayanjanitsika ndipo ikayamba kutuluka, imatha kuwononga kulumikizana, kuyanjana, komanso kuthetsa mikangano. Choyipa sichinganame kwenikweni muubwenzi wanu, chimatha kuyambika chifukwa chakuchepetsa ntchito kwanu ndi anzanu. Mphamvuzi zimatha kukutsatirani mosavutikira kunyumba, kulowa muubwenzi wanu komanso machitidwe amtsiku ndi tsiku. Kusasamala komwe mukukumana nako m'mbali zina zamoyo kumatha kusintha msanga ndikukumana ndi kusakhulupirika pachibwenzi.
Kukumana ndi kusakhulupirika pachibwenzi sikuti kumangoyipa kokha, komanso kumalepheretsa mayendedwe abwino. Ngati malo anu amisili ndi mphamvu zikuyang'ana pazomwe zikusowa komanso nthawi zokhumudwitsa, mudzakhala ndi malo ochepa oti muwone zomwe zikuchitika bwino.
Izi zingakusiyeni muzosefera molakwika.
Kodi kusefa ndi chiyani?
Zimatanthauziridwa bwino kuti ndikuletsa zonse zabwino ndikungolola kuti zolakwika zizilumikizidwa ndi zokumana nazo. Mwachitsanzo, mnzanu atha kunena momwe chakudya chidachitikira, koma lingaliro lanu loyambirira ndilakuti, zikadakhala bwino mutapeza parsley.
Chifukwa chiyani timatha kukumbukira nthawi zopweteka muubwenzi wathu ndikumakumbukira bwino, mwatsatanetsatane, komanso kutengeka kuposa momwe tingakumbukire nthawi zabwino? Chifukwa chiyani kukumbukira pokumana ndi vuto muubwenzi kumatenga zokumbukira zabwino?
Ubongo wathu umachita ndi zoyipa zomwe zimakhala zolimba kwambiri kuposa zabwino ngati njira yopulumukira. Lapangidwa kuti lititeteze ku ngozi, chifukwa chake chilichonse chomwe chimatanthauza kuwopseza kapena ngozi chingakumbukiridwe kwambiri.
Ndiye mungatani ngati izi zikumveka bwino pachibwenzi chanu? Choyamba, muyenera kudzifunsa kuti, "Kodi mukuyesera kuthetsa mavuto kapena mukungodandaula?"
Momwe mungaletse kusakhulupirika kupha ubale wanu
Ndikofunika kuzindikira kusiyana pakati pakudandaula (kapena kutsutsa) motsutsana ndi kuwonetsa nkhawa zakuswa kwakusokonekera muubwenzi wanu. Kudandaula kumamveka ngati, "Nthawi zonse mumandikhumudwitsa! Simunthu wodalirika! ”
Kumbali inayi, kufotokoza nkhawa kumawunikira momwe mukumvera, zosowa zanu, komanso kutha ndi gawo kapena kuchitapo kanthu kuti mukhale ndi nthawi yochuluka. Chodetsa nkhawa ndichakuti, “Ndimaona kuti sindiyamikiridwa mukapanda kuyeretsa ndikamaliza kudya. Kodi ungatsuke mbale m'mawa usanapite kuntchito ngati sunakonzekere usikuuno? ”
Njira zothetsera kusayanjanitsika kunja kwa ubale wanu
Monga wololeza wa banja lovomerezeka, ndimakonda kutsutsa maanja omwe akukumana ndi vuto laubwenzi, kuyamba ndikudzipereka sabata limodzi "osadandaula". Ambiri amasangalatsidwa kuwona momwe zingakhalire zovuta. Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kotereku kungakuthandizeni kuti muwone zolakwika zanu ndikumvetsetsa momwe mumadandaulira m'malo mokometsa nkhawa.
Dziwani kuti pamawu aliwonse olakwika kapena madandaulo, kulumikizana kasanu koyenera kumafunikira kuti ubale ukhale wolimba komanso wathanzi, malinga ndi Dr. John Gottman, katswiri wama psychology yemwe wafufuza kwambiri zaumoyo wamaubwenzi.
Mukayamba kuchotsa dandaulo mwadala, mupanga mpata wochulukira kuti muwone kulimba kwaubwenzi wanu ndikuyamikira zinthu zomwe mumakonda kwambiri mwa mnzanu. Kukhumudwa kwakukumana ndi kusakhulupirika pachibwenzi kumatha.
Kwenikweni, payenera kukhala "mpweya wachikondi" wokwanira mu thanki kuti muthe kupyola nyengo yoipa ikachitika. Ngati mukufuna kudziwa zambiri za momwe mungachepetsere kusayanjanitsika ndikubwezeretsanso ubale wanu ndi mgwirizano, onani “Malangizo 3 Oletsa Kudandaula Asanakukhumudwitseni ”