Zamkati
- Dennis Paget
- Marc Sadoff - MSW, BCD
- Angela Skurtu, M.Ed., LMFT
- Dokotala Deb Hirschhorn, Ph.D.
- Dr. Rae Mazzei, Psy.D, CADC, BCB.
- Justin Tobin, LCSW
- Moushumi Ghose, MFT
- Agnes O, PsyD, LMFT
- Lyndsey Fraser, MA, LMFT, CST
- Roseann Adams, LCSW
- Farah Hussain Baig, LCSW
- Edward Riddick-CAMS-2, MDR, MA, ThM
Pulumutsani Ukwati Wanu Kusudzulana
Kusudzulana kukukula kwambiri ku United States of America. Pakadali pano, maukwati pafupifupi 40 mpaka 50% akumeneko amathetsa mabanja.
Chiyambi chaukwati chafika pampata wowopsa pomwe theka lokha la maukwati onse limakhalabe ndi moyo, ndipo ena onse akukakamizidwa kusudzulana.
Pali zifukwa zambiri zakuti maukwati akukwera. Chimodzi mwazifukwa zazikulu zopewera kusudzulana ndichakuti anthu samayesetsa kuchita zokwanira kuti athetse maukwati omwe atha pang'ono.
Kusudzulana sikunathenso, ndipo maukwati omwe akuthawa sakumananso ndi mavuto amtundu uliwonse kapena kuwopsezedwa kuti atayidwa. Ngakhale ili ndi gawo labwino kwambiri pagulu, zapangitsa kuti chisudzulo ndichinthu chachilendo.
Anthu ambiri zimawavuta kupeza chisudzulo komanso chosavuta kuposa kukonza ukwati ndikuyesera kupewa chisudzulo pothetsera mavuto awo.
Anthu akalowa muubwenzi, makamaka m'banja, amawononga nthawi yawo yochuluka, mphamvu, ndi malingaliro.
Kwazaka zambiri, maubale onse amadutsa munthawi zovuta ndipo amabweretsa zopweteka ndi zopweteka kwa anthu omwe akukhudzidwa. Koma kodi ndi kwanzeru kusiya ubale wonse chifukwa cha izi?
Ayi ndithu! Nthawi imadutsa, ndipo ndi izi, zovuta zonse zimasowanso, koma ndi ndikofunika kuteteza banja lanu kupyola nthawi imeneyo.
Osakonza ukwati kapena kuletsa kusudzulana ndi njira yothetsera kusamvana kwakukulu pakati pa abwenzi, osati pamavuto abwenzi akanthawi.
Ngati mungapeze zovuta komanso mavuto am'banja omwe akukankhira ubale wanu kumapeto, nazi malangizo othandizira mabanja kuti mupewe kusudzulana komanso momwe mungakonzekere banja losweka.
Onaninso:
Munkhaniyi, akatswiri azamaubwenzi 12 akuwonetsa njira zabwino zakulekera chisudzulo kapena momwe mungapewere chisudzulo, ndi momwe mungapulumutsire banja lanu:
1) Osadumpha kuti musudzule popanda kuchita ntchito ya banja lanu poyamba Tweet izi
Dennis Paget
Phungu Waulemu Wothandizira
Tengani udindo pazomwe mukuchita muukwati wanu. Kodi mukugwiritsa ntchito akatswiri pazamaubwenzi ndikugwiritsa ntchito upangiri wawo?
Kodi mukusamala pakhomo ndikulumikizana ndi mnzanuyo akusiya ndikulowa mu chibwenzi? Kodi mukukhala ndi nthawi yolankhula? Kodi mukukhala ndi nthawi yocheza?
Kodi mukusangalala ndi mnzanu? Kodi mukulenga malo amodzi ndi maubwenzi achikondi kuti chikule?
Mpaka mutachita khama la kusinkhasinkha kwamkati ndikumanga banja latsopano, ino si nthawi, ndipo muyenera kusiya chisudzulo chanu.
2) Tsatirani mfundo zisanu ndi ziwiri zothetsa kusamvana ndikupewa kusudzulana: Tweet izi
Marc Sadoff - MSW, BCD
Katswiri wazachipatala
- Tengani nthawi Kutuluka & kubwerera pasanathe ola limodzi
- Khalani oyamba kunena kuti, "Pepani."
- ‘Mawu anu oyamba’ amafotokoza zomwe munanena kapena kuchita zomwe zidakulitsa
- Fufuzani kaye kuti mumvetsetse mnzanu, musanadziyese nokha
- Yang'ana kumvera chisoni, m'malo molondola
- Funani thandizo ngati mukulephera kudziletsa
- Nthawi zonse kumbukirani kuti mumakonda wokondedwa wanu
3) Ganizirani, mwachita zonse zotheka kupulumutsa banja lanu? Tweet izi
Angela Skurtu, M.Ed., LMFT
Katswiri Wovomerezeka Wokwatirana ndi Banja
Njira imodzi yopulumutsira banja komanso kupulumutsa banja pa chisudzulo: Kodi mukuwona kuti mwachita zonse zomwe mungathe kuti muteteze banja ili? Ngati sichoncho, ndiye kuti muyenera kupita kukalandira uphungu kuti muwone.
Maukwati ambiri amatha chifukwa choti anthu samadziwa zomwe akanachita kuti athetse mavutowo. Palibe amene ali ndi mayankho onse. Kungakhale kothandiza kuyankhula ndi gulu lakunja lomwe likungoyesera kuthandiza.
Ndikunenedwa kuti, anthu akhoza pemphani upangiri musanathetse banja.
Chithandizo chamtunduwu ndi chovuta kwambiri, ndipo zingakhale zovuta kuti maanja athetsere mkwiyo womwe amabwera posankha kusudzulana.
Ndikadakonda kuwona anthu mwachangu kuti ndiwathandize kukonza izi.
4) Khalani osatetezeka, lankhulani kuchokera pansi pamtima Tweet izi
Dokotala Deb Hirschhorn, Ph.D.
Wokwatira ndi Wothandizira Banja
Ubwenzi ukazirala, timakhala pachiwopsezo chifukwa "sitikudziwa" mnzakeyo; aliyense wa ife akubisala kumbuyo kwa chitetezo chake.
Koma tikakhala pachiwopsezo chotere, timabwerera m'mbuyo mwamalingaliro - zomwe zimalimbikitsa ubalewo.
Kuti tidziwe kupulumutsa ukwati kumapeto kwa chisudzulo, tiyenera kusiya kuwukira ngati njira yodzitetezera ndikudzikonda tokha mokwanira kukhala okonzeka kukhala pachiwopsezo, mwachitsanzo, kukhala owona kwa wina ndi mnzake.
Kulankhula kuchokera pansi pamtima kumatha kutsegula chitseko ndikubweretsa chitetezo.
5) Nthawi ya mikangano, kumbukirani zomwe zidakusonkhanitsani pamodzi Tweet izi
Dr. Rae Mazzei, Psy.D, CADC, BCB.
Katswiri Wazachipatala
Asanapange chisankho chothetsa banja, maanja amalimbikitsidwa kuti aganizire za chifukwa chomwe amadziperekera kwa wina ndi mnzake.
Njira imodzi yopulumutsira banja kusudzulana ndi rtchulani malingaliro omwe adakusonkhanitsani pamodzi.
Tangoganizirani za munthu wabwino yemwe poyamba mumamukonda komanso kumusilira. Ngati mutha kuyamba kukhala ndi malingaliro abwino ndi zokumbukira zomwe mudali nazo kwa wokondedwa wanu, mudzakhala ndi mwayi wowunikiranso zomwe mwasankha zosudzulana.
6) Kumbukirani zokumbukira zabwino Tweet izi
Justin Tobin, LCSW
Katswiri
Kodi mungapulumutse bwanji banja lanu pa chisudzulo? Pangani kulumikizana kwamumtima ndi wokondedwa wanu powonetsa tsiku laukwati wanu.
Onaninso malonjezo anu, lankhulani chilimbikitso chomwe mudamva ndi omwe adakhalapo, komanso mawu achikondi (ndi mbali zochititsa manyazi) zolankhula ndi magawo onse apakati.
Ndipo musasiye zokumbukira monga pomwe amalume anu Bob adawonetsa kuvina kwawo!
7) Kulandila kudzera paubwenzi Tweet izi
Moushumi Ghose, MFT
Wogonana
Malangizo omwe ndimalimbikitsa kwambiri maanja momwe angapulumutsire ndikukonzekera banja pa chisudzulo ndi Kulandila kudzera paubwenzi.
Kuphunzira kuvomereza mnzathu momwe alili, osayesa kusintha pafupipafupi omwe angakhale kiyi yopulumutsa chibwenzicho. Miyoyo yathu yonse, timasintha, timakula, timasintha. Izi ndizosapeweka.
Komabe, izi zitha kukhala pachiwopsezo cha momwe ubalewo uliri. Timagwiritsanso mwamphamvu kwa anzathu, mbali ina ya ubale wathu, mphamvu yamphamvu, ndipo mtundu uliwonse wosintha ndi wowopsa.
Ngati titachitapo kanthu, ndikuletsa mnzathu kuti asakule, popita nthawi izi zitha kupuwala ndi kufooketsa mnzathu komanso ubalewo, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti banja lithe.
Pozindikira ndikuwona mnzathu ngati mnzathu, wina yemwe timamufunira zabwino, wina yemwe tikufuna kumuwona akusangalala komanso kuchita bwino komanso kuzindikira kuti popatsa anzathu mapiko, tidzawukanso kungakhale kumasula kwambiri.
8) Onaninso mbiri yomwe mudapanga limodzi Tweet izi
Agnes O, PsyD, LMFT
Katswiri Wazachipatala
Ukwati ndi pangano lopatulika pakati pa anthu awiri, kudzipereka kuubwenzi wokhalitsa.
Zowona, komabe, maanja amakumana ndi zovuta nthawi zonse poyesetsa kusunga lonjezo lawo.
Ngati kutha kwaukwati kuyenera kuganiziridwa, kumatha kutengedwa ngati chizindikiro chaphwanyidwa, kumabweretsa ululu waukulu m'banjamo.
Mukakumana ndi nthawi zovutazi, ndikofunikira kuganizira mozama za kuchira komanso kuchira musanapange zisankho zazikulu.
Ndiye mungaleke bwanji kusudzulana ndikupulumutsa banja lanu?
Ndikulimbikitsa mabanja aliwonse omwe akukumana ndi vuto lotere onaninso mbiri yomwe adapanga, kugawana, ndi kuyankhulana paulendo wawo limodzi.
Ukwati uli pafupi kupanga mbiri, ndipo banja lililonse lili ndi mwayi wapadera wotero. Njira yotereyi ikagawanika pazifukwa zilizonse, ndikofunikira kuti maanja ayambe kulira ndi kutayika ndikuchira.
Pochita izi, chitseko chatsopano chitha kukhala chotseguka ndikubwezeretsanso tanthauzo lomwe limatchulidwa mu akaunti yawo yapadera.
Chilichonse chomwe angasankhe pambuyo pake, maanja onse akuyenera kukhala ndi nthawi yokwanira yofotokozera ndikusangalala ndi kupambana kwawo komwe apeza limodzi kuti apeze chisankho chanzeru kwambiri.
9) Sinthani mkangano woyipa Tweet izi
Lyndsey Fraser, MA, LMFT, CST
Katswiri Wovomerezeka Wokwatirana ndi Banja
Anthu okwatirana atatsala pang'ono kusudzulana, nthawi zambiri pamakhala mikangano yomwe imadzetsa mkwiyo pa wokondedwa wanu.
Kuzungulira kumodzi komwe kumawonekera nthawi zambiri kumakhala pamene wokondedwa wina ali wovuta, ndipo winayo akudzitchinjiriza. Wokondedwa kwambiri akamatsutsa kwambiri, winayo amadzitchinjiriza.
Vuto lodzudzula ndiye kuti mukumenya mnzanu mwamphamvu. Nthawi iliyonse pamene wina akumva kuti chikhalidwe chake chikuukiridwa, yankho lokhalo limakhala 'chitetezo'.
Mnzanu akadziteteza, zimamupangitsa kuti mnzakeyo asamve kuti akumva, zomwe zimatha kubweretsa mawu ovuta kwambiri. Tsopano banjali lili mumayendedwe osatha omwe amabweretsa chidani!
M'malo mwake, ndikukulimbikitsani kuti musinthe izi. Perekani madandaulo m'malo mwake kapena sankhani kuti musayankhe chilichonse. Madandaulo akuyang'ana kwambiri pamakhalidwewo komanso momwe amakukhudzirani m'malo moganizira munthuyo.
M'malo modzitchinjiriza, imani, ndikufunsani mnzanuyo zomwe akuvutikira m'banjamo komanso kuti mawu awo akumveka ngati akumukanizani.
Pamene inu Chitani china chosiyana, zimakukakamizani nonse kulingalira musanachite kanthu komanso pamene mukuganiza kuti mutha kukhala ndi zotulukapo zosiyana.
10) Dziperekeni polumikizana mwachifundo Tweet izi
Roseann Adams, LCSW
Katswiri wazachipatala
Upangiri umodzi womwe ndingakupatseni pazomwe mungachite ngati mnzanu akufuna chisudzulo ndikudzipereka kulumikizana mwachifundo. Kawirikawiri pofika nthawi yomwe maanja afika ku ofesi ya wothandizira okwatirana, amakhala akukayikira za tsogolo la mgwirizano wawo.
Kuyanjana kwawo kuli ndi mafotokozedwe atsatanetsatane amomwe m'modzi wavulaza mnzake. Madandaulo awo ali ndi chiwonetsero chazonse zakudzudzulidwa komanso kusiya chiyembekezo, kukwiya.
Kuphatikiza kwa mikangano yosathetsedwa mobwerezabwereza, kusamvana kwanthawi yayitali, ndi kusakhulupirirana kwathunthu kwapangitsa kuti banjali lithe kuthetsa mavuto ndi mgwirizano.
Ntchito zogawana zakhala mpata wamikangano komanso zokhumudwitsa. Zosankha zogawana zakhala malo osamvana. Amamva kuti ali pachiwopsezo pakati pawo.
Chikondi, kukoma mtima, chifundo, ndi kumvera chisoni zatha, ndipo mabanja omwe kale anali okondana tsopano amachitirana ngati alendo kapena adani okhumudwa povina kosalekeza pakudzudzula, kusiya-kuwukira.
Ali ndi zokumbukira zochepa zaposachedwa za nthawi zachifundo zomwe adagawana ndipo akuwoneka kuti akukonzekera nkhondo ndi mikangano yanthawi zonse. Kodi mphamvu yabwino ndi yotani yothetsera kuwopsa kwa ubale wotere? Kukoma mtima.
Kukoma mtima kumatanthauza kukhala munthu waubwenzi, wowolowa manja komanso woganizira ena.
Pamene kuyanjana kwaukwati kuyandikira ndikudzipereka kulumikizana mwachifundo, zida zoteteza koma zowononga mkwiyo zimatha kupatula ndikuziyikiratu momasuka, kulimba mtima komanso kusamalirana.
Kukoma mtima kumachiritsa. Kukoma mtima kumalimbikitsa mtendere, kumachepetsa mkwiyo, komanso kumachepetsa mantha. Kudzipereka kulumikizana ndi kukoma mtima kumatha kukhala ndi mwayi wokonzanso kuyaka kwachikondi, kukondana.
Kupanga mbiri yatsopano yamaubwenzi amtunduwu kumathandizira abwenzi kuti akhazikitsenso kukhulupirirana komanso kuletsa kusudzulana.
Kodi zikuwoneka bwanji kuti mudzipereke kulumikizana ndi kukoma mtima?
- Khalani othandiza ndi othandizira, ngakhale zitakhala kuti mukuyesetsa kuti musiye.
- Thandizani kuthana ndi mavuto ndikuchita bwino.
- Onetsani kuyamikira ndi kuthokoza.
- Pangani zopempha moleza mtima popanda kufunsa kapena kutsutsa.
- Khalani oyamba kupereka manja mwamtendere ndikukonzanso.
- Tengani udindo pazolakwa zanu, ndipo konzani zolondola.
- Chitani zinazake chifukwa zingasangalatse mnzanu.
- Mverani, kumbukirani, ndikuwonetsa kuti mumasamala zomwe zili zofunika kwa wokondedwa wanu.
- Lankhulani ndikuchita mosamala.
- Yandikirani mkangano ndi kusamvana ndi kufunitsitsa kumvetsetsa malingaliro a winayo.
Kudzipereka kulumikizana ndi kukoma mtima sikungakhale kokwanira nthawi zonse kupulumutsa banja lililonse, koma popanda kudzipereka kulumikizana muubwenzi mulibe mwayi weniweni wothetsera chisudzulo.
Chikondi chimawoneka ngati chosavuta komanso chosavuta pachiyambi, koma kusunga chikondi chimakhalabe ndi moyo kwanthawi yonse pamafunika kudzipereka kuti mukhale ochezeka komanso owolowa manja.
Mwa mawu amodzi mwamphamvu, amatsenga, ochiritsa, kukoma mtima, kiyi wopangitsa chikondi kukhala chokhazikika.
11)Kudziwonetsera nokha ndi kuyankha Tweet izi
Farah Hussain Baig, LCSW
Wogwira Ntchito Zachipatala Ololedwa
“Kudziwonetsa nokha ndikudziyankhira pawokha ndikofunikira kuti muteteze ukwati womwe watsala pang'ono kutha.
Kuunika mosasinthasintha komanso kukhala ndi malingaliro ndi machitidwe amunthu komanso zomwe zimakhudza banja ndizofunikira kuti ubale uchiritse ndikukula.
Malo opanda izi amatha kuloza chala, kukwiya, komanso kuwonongeka kosatheka. ”
12) Malangizo atatu oti mukhale ndi Banja Losangalala Kwambiri Tweet izi
Edward Riddick-CAMS-2, MDR, MA, ThM
Mlangizi wa maukwati
- Mvetsetsani mkangano womwe ungagwirizane ndipo phunzirani kuthana nawo.
- Phunzirani momwe mungathetsere kusamvana kwanu komanso zovuta zenizeni muubwenzi wanu ndi 100% kuwona mtima ndi ulemu komanso
- Phunzirani momwe mungakhalire "chizolowezi chokondwerera ukwati" muubwenzi wanu.
Ndikudziwa kuti izi ndizokamwa kwambiri. Zachidziwikire, iliyonse yamalangizo opangira malusowa imatenga nthawi kuti imasulidwe. Koma malangizowa ndi omwe amatengera kuti banja likhale losangalala kwambiri.
Kutsatira malangizowa kuyimitsa maanja kusudzulana kapena kuchedwetsa chisudzulo kuti apulumutse banja lawo pazinthu zazing ono za m'banja ndikuwathandiza kuthetsa kusamvana kwawo mwanjira yopindulitsa