Zamkati
- Sally anali ndi zaka 23 ndipo amakhala ku San Francisco pomwe chikhalidwe chidasintha
- Fawn anali ndi zaka 19 panthawiyo, ndipo amafanana ndi zomwe Sally akunena
- A Marc, 50, ndi wolemba mbiri yemwe ntchito yawo imangoyang'ana nthawi yakumasulidwa pakugonana
- Rhonda samakonda kwenikweni kumasulidwa
Tikamanena zakumasulidwa pakugonana, timakamba za chiyani kwenikweni? Kwa anthu ambiri, mawu awiriwa amabweretsa zithunzi za azimayi omwe akuwotcha zida zawo pakuwonetsa ziwonetsero, Chilimwe cha Chikondi ndi Haight-Ashbury, komanso malingaliro azakugonana kwaulere zomwe sizimadziwika kale. Komabe mumalongosola, kumasuka kwa kugonana kunali kofunikira, kosintha chikhalidwe komwe kunachitika mzaka makumi awiri zapakati pa 1960s ndi 1980s, ndipo zidasinthiratu momwe kugonana, makamaka azimayi, amawonedwera.
Kwa amayi, kumasuka pakugonana kumangokhudza kupatsidwa mphamvu.
Mzimayi womasulidwa ali ndi ufulu wogwiritsa ntchito thupi lake, chisangalalo chake, zomwe amasankha pakati pawo, komanso momwe amafunira kukhala pachibwenzi - osagwirizana, ndi zina zambiri. Tiyeni tikumane ndi azimayi ena omwe kudzutsidwa kwawo pogonana kunabwera nthawi yofunika kwambiri iyi kumasula kugonana.
Sally anali ndi zaka 23 ndipo amakhala ku San Francisco pomwe chikhalidwe chidasintha
"Ndinakulira m'banja lomwe linali lachigawo - zachikhalidwe," akutiuza. "Amayi anga ankakhala kunyumba akulera abale anga ndi ine, ndipo bambo anga ankagwira ntchito. Panali zokambirana zochepa zokhudza kugonana komanso ayi lankhulani za chisangalalo chogonana. Zinkaganiziridwa kuti ndidzakhala namwali mpaka nditakwatirana. Ndipo ndinali namwali kupyola koleji yonse.
Nditamaliza maphunziro anga, ndidasamukira ku San Francisco ndipo ndidakagunda nthawi yovuta yotentha ya Chilimwe. Mwambi wathu? "Yatsani, tsegulani, tulukani." Panali mankhwala ochuluka kwambiri omwe anali kuzungulira, mtundu watsopano wa nyimbo ukubwera pamalopo, ndipo tonse tinali kuvala mu Mary Quant ndi tie-dye.
Ndi zonse zomwe zinali lingaliro la chikondi chaulere. Tidali ndi mwayi wolera ndipo mantha amimba adachotsedwa mu equation.
Chifukwa chake tidagona ndi aliyense amene timafuna, nthawi yomwe timafuna, ndi kudzipereka kwa mnyamatayo kapena popanda. Kunalidi kumasuka kwa kugonana kwa ine ... ndipo ndili ndi mwayi wokhala nawo. Zinandipangitsa kuti ndiziona moyenera nkhani zogonana komanso moyo wanga wonse kwa moyo wanga wonse. ”
Fawn anali ndi zaka 19 panthawiyo, ndipo amafanana ndi zomwe Sally akunena
“Ndimaona kuti ndili ndi mwayi kuti ndakalamba pa nthawi yakugonana. Panalibenso mayina onga "slut" kapena "mtsikana wosavuta" kapena ma monikers ena onse omwe anthu amawagwiritsa ntchito mosaganizira azimayi omwe amatsimikizira zilakolako zawo zogonana.
Sitinangokhala omasuka kuti tisangalale ndi kugonana, koma tinali omasuka ku manyazi omwe amaphatikizapo zosangalatsa zakugonana, manyazi ndikuganiza amayi athu anali nawo.
Kumasulidwa pakugonana kumatanthauzanso kuti titha kukhala ndi zibwenzi zambiri osadandaula kuti tiziwoneka ngati achifwamba. Aliyense anali ndi zibwenzi zosiyanasiyana, chinali gawo la chikhalidwe. M'malo mwake, ngati mumafuna kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi (zomwe ndimakonda kwambiri), anthu amakutchulani "opitilira" kapena "okonda".
Ndine wokondwa kuti zinthu zidakhazikika mzaka za m'ma 80, ndipo panali kubwerera ku monogamy, makamaka AIDS itangowonekera chifukwa ichi chinali chikhalidwe changa.
O, musandimvetse molakwika. Ndinkakonda kumverera kolimbikitsa gulu lomenyera ufulu wachiwerewere lomwe lidandipatsa, koma pamapeto pake, ndidali mkazi wamwamuna m'modzi. Komabe, ndinali ndi mwayi wosankha, ndipo zinali bwino. ”
A Marc, 50, ndi wolemba mbiri yemwe ntchito yawo imangoyang'ana nthawi yakumasulidwa pakugonana
Amatiphunzitsa: Lingaliro langa ndilopanda izi, kumasulidwa pakugonana sikungatheke. Taganizirani izi. Akazi akadalibe mwayi wopeza Piritsi, kugonana mwina kukadakhalabe kosungidwa kwa anthu apabanja, omwe anali ndi njira yolerera ana onse obadwa chifukwa kunalibe njira yodalirika yolerera.
Pakubwera kwa Piritsi kunabwera ufulu wogonana pofuna zosangalatsa, osati kungobereka ana. Imeneyi inali masewera atsopano azimayi, omwe mpaka gulu lachigawenga, analibe ufulu, monga amuna, kusangalala ndi kugonana popanda mantha kapena mantha apakati.
Kuchokera pamenepo, azimayi adazindikira kuti anali oyendetsa zachiwerewere, chisangalalo chawo, komanso momwe angagwiritsire ntchito kugonana kuti adziwonetse komanso kulumikizana ndi dziko lowazungulira. Kusintha kotani nanga kwa iwo!
Kodi tili bwino ndi izi?
Inde, tili m'njira zambiri. Kugonana ndi chisangalalo ndizofunikira pamoyo. Ikani izi motere. Asanachitike kusintha kwakugonana, azimayi amafunikira kulumikizana ndi zogonana koma palibe njira yochitira izi kupatula paukwati. Izi zinali zowalepheretsa.
Koma atasinthiratu zakugonana, adamasulidwa ndipo tsopano atha kuzindikira tanthauzo la kukhala ndi ufulu m'mbali zonse za moyo wawo, zogonana komanso zosagonana. ”
Rhonda samakonda kwenikweni kumasulidwa
“Tamverani, ndidakhala munthawi imeneyi pomwe inali itayamba. Ndipo ndikukuwuzani chinthu chimodzi: opindula enieni amasulidwe ogonana sanali akazi. Anali amuna. Mwadzidzidzi amatha kugonana pomwe akufuna, ndi anzawo osiyanasiyana, osadzipereka komanso zotsatira zake.
Koma tangoganizani chiyani?
Pazolankhula zawo zonse "omasulidwa", azimayi amakhala ofanana nthawi zonse: amafuna kudzipereka. Amafuna kugonana ndi wokondedwa wawo, yemwe ali pachibwenzi naye. Mukuwona zithunzi zonse za Woodstock ndi abambo ndi amai akugonana kulikonse ndi aliyense, koma kwenikweni, omasulidwa kwambiri ogonana omwe amafuna kuti tikhale pamodzi ndi munthu wabwino kumapeto kwa tsiku ndikungogonana bwino ndi iye.
O, amuna anali okondwa kwambiri ndi msika waulere wogonana. Koma akazi? Sindingaganize za m'modzi mwa iwo amene lero angafune kudzuka masiku awo akumenyedwa. ”