Zamkati
- 1.Alibe nthawi yanu
- 2. Chikondi ndi cha pazenera
- 3. Samakupangitsani kukhala woyamba
- 4. Safuna kukangana
- 5. Amakwiya msanga
- 6. Amayesa kukukwiyitsani
- 7. Akukuchitira chipongwe
Maubwenzi ena amasokonekera chifukwa cha mkwiyo, mikangano, komanso kutengeka. Nthawi zina, zosinthazi ndizochenjera, ndikutalika pang'ono pakati pa abwenzi mpaka, mwadzidzidzi, kwakhala kwakukulu kwambiri kuti mungawoloke.
Nthawi zina, munthu m'modzi amatha kuwona kuti kusokonekera kukukula. Nthawi zina, zimawoneka ngati zabuluu ndipo zomwe angachite ndikungoyang'ana ubalewo ukugwa mozungulira ndikudzifunsa zomwe akadachita mosiyana.
Ena ndi ati zikusonyeza kuti mnzanu wataya chidwi ndipo chochita ngati mukuganiza kuti mnzanuyo akutaya chidwi ndi chibwenzi chanu? Nazi izi zizindikiro zina zokuchenjezani kuti mnzanu akhoza kutaya chidwi.
1.Alibe nthawi yanu
Ngati zikumveka ngati zanu Mnzanu akukupeŵani kapena ngati amangokhalira kulepheretsa zolinga pazifukwa zina, pakhoza kukhala chifukwa chodera nkhawa. Mabanja ayenera kufuna kupatula nthawi yocheza ndipo ngati nthawi zonse amathandizana kunja kwa nthawi yabwino, ndiye mbendera yofiira.
Carrie Krawiec, wololeza wovomerezeka komanso wothandizira mabanja ku Birmingham Maple Clinic ku Troy, Michigan, akuti maanja akuyenera kugwira ntchito fotokozani chomwe chimapanga nthawi yabwino kwa wina ndi mnzake ndikuziika patsogolo.
"Pali kupitiriza kwa pafupi ndi maso ndi maso ndipo anthu osiyanasiyana amakhutira ndi magawo osiyanasiyana," akutero. "Anthu akuyenera kuzindikira zomwe amakonda, komanso anzawo komanso kuzindikira kuti" nthawi yabwino "iyenera kukhala ndi zomwe zimakhutiritsa aliyense wa inu."
2. Chikondi ndi cha pazenera
Ngakhale mutakhala kucheza ndi mnzanu, sizitanthauza kuti mphanvu sinatuluke.
Wokondedwa wanu akhoza kusiya kugwirana chanza kapena kukhala wachikondi, osasamala zakusangalatsani, posankha kuti awonekere, ndipo kugonana kumatha kukhala kukumbukira kwakutali komanso kopanda tanthauzo. Izi zonse zikhoza kukhala zizindikilo zoti anu ubale utha kutha nthunzi.
Krawiec akuti tisayang'ane kwambiri zolimbitsa thupi komanso kuthana ndi zinthu zazing'ono zomwe zingayambitse kukopa.
Iye anati: “Zizindikiro zomwe zimapangitsa kuti moto uziphulika si nthawi yopuma komanso yovala zovala zamkati zazing'ono. “Nthawi zambiri, ndimamiliyoni ochepa. Malembo ang'onoang'ono, kukhudza pang'ono, kapena kufotokoza zochepa zomwe amakonda ndi zomwe sakonda kapena mantha, chiyembekezo, ndi maloto zitha kutipangitsa kumva kuti tili ndi mphamvu wina ndi mnzake. ”
3. Samakupangitsani kukhala woyamba
Muyenera kukhala oyamba pachibwenzi. Zachidziwikire, nthawi zonse padzakhala nthawi zomwe ana amakhala patsogolo, koma woyamba mu ubale uliwonse ayenera kukhala wina ndi mnzake.
Ngati mnzanu ali wokonda kukhala ndi abwenzi ndikuchita zina zosangalatsa, ndiye kuti alibe kutenga ubalewo mozama. Kuti mufike pamzu wa izi, Krawiec akuti ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa zomwe zikuyendetsa banjali kuti lichite zina.
Kodi akugwira ntchito kwambiri chifukwa chodana ndi nyumba kapena chifukwa akuyesera kusamalira mabanja awo? Ndipo nchiyani chomwe chidapanga malingaliro anu momwe makolo anu amagwirizirana?
"Mwachitsanzo," akutero, "munthu amene wawona kholo limodzi likukakamizidwa kuchita zinthu za ena amatha kuwona kuti aliyense asankhe ndipo angawone ngati chizindikiro cha 'thanzi.' Zomwe zimagwira ntchito muubwenzi uliwonse ndizomwe zimagwirira ntchito anthu awiriwa osatengera mgwirizano wapadziko lonse wonena za 'Mabanja onse ayenera kufuna kucheza limodzi.' ”
4. Safuna kukangana
Mukuganiza kuti zosiyana zingakhale zoona - kuti kukangana kungakhale chizindikiro kuti ukwati uli pamavuto.
Koma chowonadi ndichakuti, kusagwirizana kumachitika nthawi zonse muubwenzi ndipo ngati mnzanuyo atakhala chete m'malo mongolankhula, ndichizindikiro chavuto. Zitha kutanthawuza kuti safunanso kuthetsa mavuto pachibwenzi.
"Kuponya miyala, kapena kutseka, ndi m'modzi mwa okwera pamahatchi anayi a John Gottman of the apocalypse," akutero Krawiec.
“Kunyanyala, kungokhala chete, kapena kusakhala ndi chidwi ndi zitsanzo. Ngakhale kukambirana kumatha kukhala kosemphana, kutembenukira kwa mnzanu m'malo mongomukankhira munthawi yamavuto kumakhala kwabwino. Mabanja akamaululirana, kugawana, kutonthozana amatulutsa mahomoni opsinjika mtima omwe ndi abwino kwa onse opatsirana komanso olandila. ”
5. Amakwiya msanga
Ngati anu Mnzanu wayamba kutaya chidwi, kanthu kakang'ono kalikonse, kuyambira momwe umatafunira chakudya mpaka kumveka kwa kupuma kwako, kumatha kuzimitsa, kuyambitsa ndewu ndi kusagwirizana pazinthu zazing'ono kwambiri. Izi zitha kukhala chisonyezo chakukwiya komanso zipolowe pansi paubwenzi.
Celia Schweyer, katswiri wa ubale pa Datingscout.com anati: "Nthawi ina mukamalimbana ndi ntchito yopusa kapena zina, mufunseni zomwe zimawakhumudwitsa." “Ndi bwino kumakambirana mosapita m'mbali m'malo mosiya mkwiyo ndi kupsetsana mtima.”
6. Amayesa kukukwiyitsani
Munthu m'modzi atakhala anasiya chidwi ndi chibwenzicho, atha kuchita zinthu monga kukangana kuti akusokonezeni ndikukuthamangitsani.
"Mukadzasiya," akutero Schweyer, "adzakuimbani mlandu ndikukuuzani kuti simunalezere mokwanira kapena simukuwakonda mokwanira kuti musunge chibwenzicho." Ngati izi zichitika, zikumaneni ndi izi, a Schweyer amalimbikitsa.
Funsani chomwe amachokera ndi zomwe zikuwadetsa nkhawa. Ngati akufunikiradi kuti banjali ligwire ntchito, apeza njira yothetsera mavuto awo osabwereranso pamakhalidwe okhumudwitsa.
7. Akukuchitira chipongwe
Ichi mwina ndichizindikiro chomveka kwambiri ndipo simudzakhala ndi vuto lakuzindikira. Koma, ngati ikukula muubwenzi wanu, iyenera kuyankhidwa nthawi yomweyo.
Kunyoza ndiye kupha ubale wapamtima, kupangitsa munthu kudziona kuti ndi wopanda pake komanso kuti malingaliro ake alibe kanthu.
"Kunyoza ndi kusakonda wokondedwa wanu," akutero Krawiec. “Amadziwika ndi kuitana mayina, kutupitsa maso, kutukwana, kunyozana, kutanthauza kunyoza. Ngati alipo kunyozeka mu ubale wanu, ndi chizindikiro chakuti anthu akumva kupweteka, zosowa zomwe sanazimve, komanso kuchepa kwa zinthu. ”