Zamkati
- 1. Timadana ndi kukangana
- 2. Timakhumba kufunidwa, kufunidwa, ndi kutsimikiziridwa pafupipafupi
- 3. Nthawi zambiri timasankha anthu omwe amafunika kupulumutsidwa, kuthandizidwa, kuchiritsidwa
- Koma panjira, chithunzicho si chokongola
- Yang'anani pakuchira kwodalira
- Kodi ubale wodalirana ungapulumutsidwe?
Phungu komanso wolemba nambala wogulitsa kwambiri akuti "Ndinasokera kudziko lachikondi ndi logwirizana."
Ingoganizirani kukhala mlangizi, wophunzitsa moyo, komanso wolemba nambala wogulitsa kwambiri ndikulimbana ndi maubale anu. Mukadatani? Kodi mungatani?
Kwa zaka 29 zapitazi, wolemba, wogulitsa woyamba, mlangizi komanso Woyang'anira Moyo David Essel wakhala akuthandiza anthu mamiliyoni ambiri padziko lonse lapansi kudzera mu ntchito imodzi, mabuku, zokambirana ndi makanema, kuti adziwe tanthauzo ndi kuya kwa chikondi m'miyoyo yawo.
Koma zimatengera kukhulupirika komanso kufunitsitsa kwa munthuyu kupempha thandizo, kuti amvetsetse kusiyana kwa moyo wake pakati pa chikondi ndi chikondi chodalira. Nkhani yaukadaulo iyi ya David Essel imafotokoza momwe mungakonzere ubale womwe umasokoneza bongo.
“Mpaka 1997, sindinawunikepo gawo lomwe Chikondi lidachita pamoyo wanga, komanso makamaka koposa zonse momwe kudalirana kumakhalira ndi ubale wanga wachikondi.
Ndinali wotsimikiza kwambiri, tambala kwambiri pankhani yachikondi, ndipo moona mtima sindimaganiza kuti ndimafunikira thandizo lochuluka. Kupatula apo ndine mlangizi komanso wophunzitsa moyo ndipo ndakhala ndikugwira ntchito yodzikulira kwazaka 40, ndiye ndani angandithandizire china chilichonse chatsopano?
Imodzi mwa mphatso zazikulu kwambiri zomwe ndakhala ndikupatsidwa pazaka 40 zapitazi, ndikupangitsa kuti anthu ochokera padziko lonse lapansi alumikizane nane kuti andithandizire. Kuti muthandizidwe. Mwachidziwitso.
Koma mwanjira ina, sindinaganize kuti ndikufunika thandizo, ngakhale maubale anga anali atatha pafupipafupi mu chisokonezo komanso sewero.
Monga anthu ambiri, ndinkangonena kuti ndakhala "wosankha akazi" woyipa
Koma zenizeni? Zinali zosiyana kwambiri.
Chifukwa chake mu 1997, ndidayamba kugwira ntchito ndi mlangizi wina, ndipo ndidakhala masiku 365 ndikufufuza za kudzidalira komanso chikondi m'maubale anga, ndikuyesera kumvetsetsa chifukwa chomwe ndidakumana ndi chisokonezo komanso sewero m'moyo wanga wachikondi.
Yankho, linali lokonzeka, kuyembekezera kuti ndipeze.
Pakutha masiku 30, mlangizi wanga adandiuza kuti ndine m'modzi mwa amuna okondana kwambiri kuposa onse omwe adakumana nawo.
Ndinadabwa, kudabwa, kudabwa.
Kodi ndingatani kuti ine, wolemba, mlangizi, Life Coach komanso wokamba nkhani waluso ndidziwe kuti ndili ndi vuto lalikulu m'maubwenzi otchedwa codependency? Zomwe ndimafuna kudziwa sizinangosintha moyo wanga, komanso momwe ndimagwiriranso ntchito yanga yolangiza komanso kuphunzitsa.
Kudalira maubwenzi ndi chizolowezi chachikulu kwambiri padziko lapansi, ndipo ndinali m'modzi mwa anthu omwe anali odalira kwambiri moyo.
Ndiye, mungaleke bwanji kukhala odalira paubwenzi wanu?
Choyamba, tiyeni tiwone zina mwazizindikiro kuti tiwone ngati inu, monga ine, mulidi odalilika mchikondi:
1. Timadana ndi kukangana
Timathawa mikangano yayikulu, zikafika pakuyesetsa kuthana ndi zovuta m'moyo wathu wachikondi.
Ndidachita izi nthawi zonse. Ngati ndimakhala pachibwenzi ndikutsutsana ndi chibwenzi changa, ndipo sitimvana, ndimangotseka, kumwa kwambiri, ndipo nthawi zina ndimakhala ndi chibwenzi kuti ndipewe mkangano komanso kulumikizana komwe kumayenera kuchitidwa.
Kodi ndiwe? Ngati ndi choncho, ndipo muli ndi mphamvu yovomereza, monga ine ndimadalira chikondi.
2. Timakhumba kufunidwa, kufunidwa, ndi kutsimikiziridwa pafupipafupi
Odalira pa chikondi, amafunika kupeza wina woti awauze kuti ndiokongola, olimba, owoneka bwino, okongola, anzeru, ndikuganiza kuti mumapeza chithunzicho.
Tikufuna kutsimikizika.
Maziko a kudalira chikondi ndi kudzidalira komanso kudzidalira.
Ndipo ndinali nazo zonse ziwiri, ndipo sindimadziwa nkomwe.
Nanga inu? Kodi mungachitire zabwino mnzanu, ndipo ngati sakuthokozani kwambiri, kodi mungakhutitsidwe chifukwa chodziwa kuti mwachita zoyenera?
Kapena, ngati mumuchitira mnzanu kanthu kena kabwino, kodi mumafunsa ngakhale zili mkati mwanu, kuti akuyenera kukuthokozani mobwerezabwereza?
Kufunika kokhazikika nthawi zonse ndi njira yodalira chikondi.
3. Nthawi zambiri timasankha anthu omwe amafunika kupulumutsidwa, kuthandizidwa, kuchiritsidwa
Makamaka ife omwe timagwira nawo ntchito yodzikulitsa, monga alangizi, Life Coaches, minisitala, opanga ma tsitsi, ophunzitsa ena ndi ena ambiri, nthawi zambiri timasankha anzathu omwe amafunikira thandizo lathu ndipo zimatisangalatsa tonsefe pakadali pano.
Koma panjira, chithunzicho si chokongola
Timakhala okwiya kuti anzathu sangachite zomwe tikufuna, ndipo amakwiya kuti timawakakamiza kuti asinthe. Mkhalidwe woyipa kwathunthu.
Ndinachita izi kwa zaka zambiri, ndikakumana ndi azimayi omwe akuvutika pachuma, kapena ovutika ndi amuna awo akale, kapena ovutika ndi chidaliro, kapena olimbana ndi ana ndipo pakubwera David, mlangizi, Life Coach komanso wolemba kupulumutsa!
Tikamasankha mwana woyipa, kapena mtsikana yemwe akuvutika, timadalirana.
Pazifukwa zina timakhulupirira kuti tili ndi zomwe zimawathandiza kuthana ndi zovuta zawo ndikukondedwa ngati palibe amene adawakondapo kale.
Kodi mukudziona nokha m'chithunzichi? Ngati mungavomereze, mukupita kuchiritso.
Chiyambireni maphunziro anga okhwima mu 1997, ndasintha kwambiri machitidwe anga azibwenzi komanso maubale, kotero kuti nditha kuwona David Essel pagalasi.
M'malo mofunafuna azimayi oti athandizire, kupulumutsa, kupulumutsa, tsopano ndili pamtendere ndi kukhala wosakwatiwa, kapena kukhala pachibwenzi ndi wina yemwe amachitapo kanthu limodzi.
Ngati mukulimbana ndi kusakwatiwa, ngati simukusangalala kukhala osakwatira, ngati simungapeze chimwemwe muli nokha, mumadalira chikondi.
Yang'anani pakuchira kwodalira
M'buku lathu latsopanoli, lachinsinsi lachikondi, lomwe lidalembedwa kuzilumba za ku Hawaii lotchedwa "Angel on the surfboard", munthu wodziwika bwino Sandy Tavish ndi katswiri wodziwa zaubwenzi komanso wolemba yemwe amapita kuzilumba izi kutchuthi komanso kuti akaphunzire zambiri za mafungulo chikondi chakuya.
Munkhaniyi, akukumana ndi mayi wokongola dzina lake Mandi, yemwe anali atangothamangitsa chibwenzi china chochepa, chibwenzi chopanda pake kunyumba kwake ndipo tsopano anali maso ake pa Sandy ngati "munthu wamaloto ake."
Chifukwa Sandy adadzipangira yekha ntchito yayikulu, ndipo adadziwononga yekha, adatha kukana zoyeserera za mkazi wokongola uyu, podziwa kuti ayenera kupulumutsidwa, kuchiritsidwa ndikupulumutsidwa kuubwenzi wakale koma iye sindinayendenso pamseuwo.
Kodi ubale wodalirana ungapulumutsidwe?
Yankho ndi loti ayi. Kudziyimira pawokha, muubwenzi wachikondi, kumapangitsa kusakhulupirirana ndi mkwiyo.
Ngati mukufuna thandizo, ndipo ngati mukuziwona muli ena mwa zitsanzo zomwe zili pamwambapa, pitani kwa mlangizi, mtumiki kapena Life Coach lero kuti muphunzire zambiri momwe mungathere pazomwe zimapangitsa kuti mukhale achikondi.
Mukangomva kukoma kwa momwe mumakhalira muubwenzi wathanzi, wachikondi, wodziyimira pawokha, kapena mukawona momwe zimakhalira zabwino kukhala osangalala komanso osakwatira nokha, simudzabwereranso kudalira chikondi.
Tengani kuchokera kwa katswiri, kuchokera kwa akatswiri, kuchokera kwa omwe kale anali odalira mpaka pano okonda kudziyimira pawokha, kuti ngati ndingathe, mutha kutero. "
Ntchito ya David Essel 'imavomerezedwa kwambiri ndi anthu monga malemu Wayne Dyer, ndipo wotchuka Jenny Mccarthy akuti "David Essel ndiye mtsogoleri watsopano wa gulu loganiza bwino."
Ndiye mlembi wamabuku 10, anayi mwa iwo akhala akugulitsa kwambiri.
Marriage.com yatsimikizira David kuti ndi m'modzi mwa akatswiri pazamaubwenzi padziko lonse lapansi.