Zamkati
- Zofunika pakuyamikira ngati mukufuna chibwenzi chosangalatsa
- Ubwino wina wofotokozera ndikuthokoza ndi monga:
- Kusiya njira yodzidalira
- Valani magalasi oyamikira kuti muwone mnzanu bwino
- Kuyamikira kudzasintha ubale wanu ndi mnzanu
Kodi mwathokoza mnzanu posachedwapa? Ngati sichoncho, ndikukulimbikitsani kuti munene kuti 'Zikomo,' pakadali pano chifukwa G ndi ya "Kuyamikira" mu The Relationship Alphabet.
The Relationship Alphabet ndi kulengedwa kwa Zach Brittle, a License Mental Health Counsellor, ndi Certified Gottman Therapist wokhala ku Seattle. Zolemba zoyambirira za Zach pa Gottman Institute zakopa chidwi kuti zidasindikizidwa m'buku - The Relationship Alphabet: A Practical Guide to Better Connection for Couples.
Alfabeti Yachibale imapatsa makalata tanthauzo kutengera zomwe wolemba akuganiza kuti ziyenera kuyimira pachibwenzi, monga buku lofotokozera za chikondi, pa se.
Wolemba adayamba zilembo zake ndi A kuyimirira pamikangano, B ya Kusakhulupirika, C Yotsutsa & Kutsutsa, ndi zina zambiri.
Molingana ndi kapangidwe kake, bukuli ndi chitsogozo chothandiza maanja kuthana ndi zovuta zaubwenzi. Zina mwa 'malangizo othandizira' omwe akuperekedwa ndikuwonetsa kuyamikira mnzanu.
Zofunika pakuyamikira ngati mukufuna chibwenzi chosangalatsa
Mtanthauziramawu umatanthauza kuyamika ngati “khalidwe lakuthokoza; ofunitsitsa kusonyeza kuyamikira ndi kubwezera kukoma mtima. ” Asayansi a ubale wovuta komanso wamaubwenzi amawona kuyamika ngati chinthu chofunikira kwambiri pakupangitsa maubwenzi kukhala, komanso tokha, kukhala achimwemwe.
Kuyamika kumathandiza kwambiri pa moyo wathu wonse. Simukukhulupirira mpaka pano? Lekani ndikufunseni kuti muganizire za nthawi yomwe mudapatsa wina mphatso yaying'ono. Ganizirani momwe mudamvera pomwe adati 'Zikomo' atalandira mphatsoyo. Kodi sizinamveke bwino?
Tsopano, ganizirani za nthawi yomwe mumalandira mphatso yaying'ono. Ganizirani momwe mudamvera mukalandira mphatsoyi. Kodi simudakakamizike kunena kuti 'Zikomo'?
Ngati mwayankha 'inde' wamkulu kwa onse, ndikuganiza ndikuwonetsa kuti ndikuti 'zikomo' kapena kulandira 'zikomo,' timamva bwino tikathokoza.
Ubwino wina wofotokozera ndikuthokoza ndi monga:
- Chimwemwe chowonjezeka komanso chiyembekezo
- Kuchulukanso kolimba
- Kulimbitsa kudzidalira
- Kuchepetsa nkhawa
- Kuchepetsa chiopsezo cha kukhumudwa
Tiyeni tibwerere m'mbuyo pang'ono ndikuziyika potengera ubale wathu wachikondi.
Kunena kuti 'zikomo' kumalimbitsa ubale wathu ndi mnzathu. Kunena kuti 'zikomo' ndikuti 'Ndikuwona zabwino mwa inu.' Kunena kuti 'zikomo' ndi 'Ndimakukondani' wokutidwa ndi kuthokoza.
Palibe chifukwa chomwe G sayenera kuyimira Chiyamiko mu The Relationship Alphabet!
Kusiya njira yodzidalira
Mwa kuthokoza, tikutsogoleredwa kuti tichite chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kwambiri m'maubwenzi. Patukani panjira yodzidalira. Mwa kuthokoza, tazindikira kuti tikulandila mphatso izi kuchokera kuubwenzi wathu: chikondi, chisamaliro, kumvera ena chisoni.
Kodi mungaganize kuti mungakhale m'dziko lomwe kuyamikira kuli kofunika kwambiri? Utopia.
Kodi mungaganizire kukhala pachibwenzi chomwe chimafuna kuyamikiridwa? Ngati zikukuvutani kulingalira, bwanji osayamba kuyeseza nokha?
Pezani kanthawi kothokoza mnzanu, ndipo muzichita tsiku lililonse. Simuyenera kuganizira nthawi yomweyo za zinthu zazikulu kapena mphatso zakuthupi - mwina mutha kuyamba ndi ntchito yomwe adachita, ngakhale simunawafunse.
‘Zikomo chifukwa chotsuka mbale usiku watha. Ndimayamikira kwambiri. '
Valani magalasi oyamikira kuti muwone mnzanu bwino
Zinthu zing'onozing'ono zimawerengera maubwenzi, koma, kuti tiwone zinthu zazing'onozi, tiyenera kuvala magalasi othokoza kutithandiza kuwona bwino. Kuyamikiridwa kumathandizira kukulitsa kudzidalira kwathu ndikudzipindulitsa monga munthu.
Chinsinsi chofotokozera chifukwa chake kuyamikirana kumagwirira ntchito m'banja ndikuti mumamuyamikira mnzanu monga munthu wofunika. Kuti mumawalemekeza ndipo nawonso, ubalewo ndiwofunikanso.
Ndikumva bwino konseku tikuphatikiza, tikukakamizidwa kwambiri kuti tigwiritsabe ubalewo, kuti tipereke zochulukirapo muubwenziwo, kuti tigwire ntchito kwambiri kuti ubale wathu ukhalebe. Kungoti chifukwa mnzanu amaona kuti amayamikiridwa pa 'zikomo' chilichonse.
Brittle adatinso nthabwala kuti ngati maanja angayesere kunena mawu awiriwa, othandizira ambiri amathandizidwa atha kuchotsedwa ntchito.
Chiyamikiro chimatipatsa magalasi apadera omwe amatithandiza kuti tiwone anzathu pazidziwitso zatsopano.
Kuyamikira kudzasintha ubale wanu ndi mnzanu
Ndi chithandizo chothokoza, mikhalidwe yawo yabwino kwambiri yaunikiridwa. Kuyamika kumathandiza kukumbutsani nonse za chifukwa chomwe mwasankhirana.
Yambani ndikuthokoza mnzanu chifukwa chotsuka mbale, ndikuwona momwe kuyamikirira kungasinthire ubale wanu ndi mnzanu. Sizingakhale kusintha kwachangu, koma popita nthawi, maphunziro atsimikizira ubale wokhutiritsa kwambiri kwa maanja omwe amayamika.
Zilembo Zachikhalidwe za Zach Brittle ndizosangalatsa kuzindikira maubwenzi ndipo ndi malo abwino kuyambirapo ngati mukufuna kuganizira kwambiri zakugwirira ntchito pachibwenzi chanu. Zimayimiliradi pamawu ake kukhala chitsogozo chothandiza kulumikizana bwino ndi mnzanu.