Zamkati
Pofuna kuti banja likhale ndi mwayi wokangana pamene membala wina ali ndi vuto la kupsinjika, ndikofunikira kuti wokondedwa wawo amvetsetse choti anene ndi zomwe sayenera kunena kuti athandizire wokondedwa wawo panthawi yowawa kwambiri pamoyo wawo.
Nthawi zambiri zimakhala zovuta kudziwa zomwe munganene kwa mnzanu amene ali ndi nkhawa. Chofunika kwambiri monga zomwe timanena ndizomwe sitinena kwa munthu amene ali ndi nkhawa. Ngakhale mndandanda wotsatira ungagwire ntchito kwa amuna kapena akazi, ndaganiza zopanga nkhaniyi ndi amuna makamaka m'malingaliro, popeza nthawi zambiri pamakhala kusiyana kwamomwe kukhumudwa kumawonekera mwa amuna ndi akazi.
Kuphatikiza apo, abambo amatha kukhala ndi chidwi ndi zomwe amachita komanso zolemba, chifukwa cha mauthenga omwe amatumizidwa ndi chikhalidwe chathu kuyambira ali aang'ono. Amauzidwa kuti ndibwino kukwiya, koma osakhala achisoni kapena mantha, mwachitsanzo, zimakhala zovuta kuti abambo azindikire ndikukambirana momwe akumvera.
Chifukwa cha kusiyana kumeneku ndi ena, ndapanga zotsatirazi kwa iwo omwe anzawo ali amuna omwe akuvutika maganizo.
Zinthu OSATI kunena mwamuna kapena mkazi wokhumudwa (kapena wina aliyense amene akuvutika maganizo):
1. “Gonjetsani”
Ngati mwakhala mukuwerenga zakukhumudwa mwina mudamvapo izi, ndipo sizoyenera kunena kwa aliyense amene akumva kuwawa, chifukwa zimangowalimbikitsa kubisa momwe akumvera, kukulitsa vutoli. Amuna amatha kukhala omvera kwa awa munjira zina popeza anthu amawatumizira mauthenga kuyambira ali aang'ono kuti malingaliro ena amawapangitsa kukhala ocheperako amuna.
Amuna nthawi zambiri amachita manyazi ndi nkhawa zawo, kuda nkhawa kuti zitanthauza kuti ndi ofooka kapena kuti ndi osowa, ndipo kuwauza kuti athetse mavutowo kumangowonjezera kukhumudwako.
Akapangitsidwa kuti achite manyazi kwambiri, atha kuyamba kunamizira kuti sakumva kukhumudwa .. Izi zitha kuwasiya akumva kukhala osungulumwa kwambiri chifukwa samakhalanso otetezeka kufotokoza momwe akumvera.
Pali njira zambiri zowauzira kuti "asadutse" kuphatikiza "kuyang'ana mbali yowala," "osangokhala," kapena china chilichonse chomwe chikutanthauza kuti akumva mosiyana ndi momwe akumvera.
Ndi zachilendo kufuna kuti wokondedwa wanu asakhale wokhumudwa chifukwa zimapangitsa moyo wanu kukhala wovuta. Komabe, njira yowathandizira SIkuwauza momwe akuyenera kumvera koma kukhala anzawo mukulimbana ndi kukhumudwa.
Zimakhala zovuta kuti anthu ambiri okhulupilira akhulupirire kuti nthawi zambiri zimakhala zothandiza kukhala pansi, kumvetsera, mwinanso mwakachetechete. Amatha kumva kuti palibe chomwe akuchita chifukwa sanena kanthu. Komabe, pachikhalidwe chomwe chimalimbikitsa kupitilira, kumvera mwakachetechete kungakhale mphatso yamtengo wapatali.
2. “Ndikudziwa ndendende mmene mumamvera”
Izi zikuwoneka ngati zitha kukhala zothandiza, koma zenizeni, sitikudziwa ndendende momwe wina akumvera, chifukwa chake mawu awa atha kupangitsa kuti omvera amve kuti sakumvetsetsa.
Kungoganiza kuti mukudziwa momwe munthu wina akumvera sizimawapatsa mpata kuti alankhulepo za zomwe adakumana nazo. Ndi kuyimitsa kukambirana komwe kumatha kupangitsa munthu wopanikizika kumva kuti ali yekhayekha m'malo mocheperako.
Anthu ambiri amaganiza kuti anthu omwe akuvutika amafuna kuti mumve momwe akumvera.
Ngakhale atha kufotokoza zomwe akufuna, sizofunikira kuti athandizidwe. Muyenera kuwonetsa kuti muli ndi chidwi komanso wofunitsitsa kumvetsera. Pochita izi, mutha KUPHUNZIRA momwe akumvera, potero kukulira kulumikizana, zomwe ndi zomwe zili zabwino kwambiri padziko lapansi kwa wokondedwa wanu.
3. “Usakwiye kwambiri”
Chizindikiro chofala kwambiri ngati sichizindikiro cha kukhumudwa ndichokwiya kapena mkwiyo. Zomwe zimayambitsa kukhumudwa zimadza chifukwa chodzisungira nokha mkwiyo, chifukwa chake ndikofunikira kuti munthu amene wapsinjika apatsidwe mpata wokwiya.
Chodabwitsa ndichakuti, pomwe amakhala otetezeka ndikakhala okwiya, sipadzakhalanso nkhawa. Ili ndi lingaliro lovuta lomwe silingamvetsetsedwe mosavuta, koma mfundo yayikulu kwa okwatirana ndikuwonetsetsa kuti asatumize mauthenga omwe akulakwitsa pakumva chilichonse, makamaka mkwiyo.
Izi sizitanthauza kuti ndibwino KUONETSA mkwiyo munjira ina iliyonse yomwe akufuna. Pali njira zabwino zowonongera izi.
Kuukira kapena kukalipira, kapena kufotokozera mkwiyo mwanjira iliyonse wowopseza mwakuthupi SIZOYENERA ndipo ndikofunikira kukhazikitsa malire pazomwe mungachite. Simukuyenera kulolera khalidweli, ndipo ndikofunikira kusiyanitsa malingaliro ndi machitidwe.
Njira yolongosolera kuyankhula ndikulankhula za momwe akumvera kapena kulowa nawo ntchito yopindulitsa.
Kunena kuti, “Ndikupsa mtima pakali pano,” kungakhale kolimbikitsa kwambiri. Kupanga danga la mkwiyo kumatha kubweretsa zokambirana zakuya pomwe mutha kuwulula zakukhosi kwanu.
Mwa njira, chinthuchi chimagwira ntchito kwambiri kwa azimayi, chifukwa azimayi mdera lathu amaphunzitsidwa kuti sizabwino kukwiya, chifukwa chake amuna, muyenera kukhala loya kwa azimayi amoyo wanu kuloledwa kukwiya komanso.
4. “Ingondisiyani.”
Ndikofunika kukumbukira kuti siudindo wanu kuchiza kupsinjika kwa mnzanu. Izi zitha kubweretsa zovuta zambiri, zomwe nthawi zina zimatchedwa codependent, dynamics. Sikuti kungokhala ndi udindo wokhumudwa kwa wokondedwa wanu kumangokhala kulephera, komanso kukhazikitsidwa kuti muzimva kuwakwiyira pomwe sizigwira ntchito.
Kuphatikiza apo, mnzanuyo amayamba kudzimva kuti walephera chifukwa sakupeza bwino, ndikumverera ngati akukusiyani.
Ngati mukumva kuti mukumvera chifukwa cha kukhumudwa kwa anzanu, ndi mbendera yofiira yomwe muyenera kufunafuna chithandizo chamankhwala nokha.
Kumvetsetsa kukhumudwa kwawo komanso ubale wake ndi mkwiyo ndi ntchito YAKE kuti mugwire ntchito ndi othandizira. Ntchito yanu ndikungoyesa kudziwa zomwe mungathe komanso zomwe simungachite monga mnzake kuti mumuthandize. Aliyense ali ndi udindo pamalingaliro awo ndi machitidwe awo, ngakhale momwe amavutikira kuti amvetsetse ndikuwongolera.
Powombetsa mkota:
Othandiza ayenera:
- Limbikitsani anzawo kuti amwe mankhwala
- Mvetserani popanda kuweruza
- Perekani chikondi ndi chithandizo
- Akumbutseni mnzanu kuti amakondedwa
Othandizira sayenera:
- Muzimva kuti ndinu amene amachititsa wokondedwa wawo kuvutika maganizo
- Khalani okhumudwa nawokha ngati kukhumudwaku sikuchoka
- Tsutsani wokondedwa wawo chifukwa cha kukhumudwa kwawo
- Limbikitsani chilichonse chomwe akumva, bola ngati chachitidwa mosamala
- Fotokozerani uthenga kuti akuyenera kutero mwanjira iliyonse
Matenda okhumudwa nthawi zina amatenga nthawi yayitali kuti athetse, motero ndikofunika kuleza mtima. Komabe, ndimankhwala abwino komanso chithandizo kuchokera kwa omwe amawakonda, kukhumudwa kwakukulu kumachiritsidwa. Chithandizo chimatha kubweretsa zabwino zomwe munthu sankaganiza kuti zingatheke.
Pansi pa kukhumudwa nthawi zambiri kumakhala mphamvu zobisika, maluso, ndi zokhumba zomwe wodwalayo sanamvepo kwazaka zambiri, kapena sanadziwe kuti ali nazo, chifukwa chake pali zifukwa zambiri zokhalira ndi chiyembekezo ngati mumaleza mtima ndi anzanu.