Zamkati
- Kodi Parent Alienation Syndrome ndi chiyani?
- Zimayamba bwanji?
- Abambo ake adakhala munthu "woyipa"
- Adakhala wolankhulira amayi ake
- Nkhani ya Dave siyodziwika kawirikawiri
- Kusambitsa ubongo
- Kulimbana ndi kudzidalira komanso kukhumudwa
- Limbikitsani ana kuti azilumikizana ndi kholo linalo
Dave anali wazaka 9 kapena 10 pomwe makolo ake adasudzulana. Sanadabwe kwambiri popeza panali zovuta zambiri komanso kusamvana mnyumba, komabe, banja linali kutha ndipo izi zidamuvuta. Anakhalabe kunyumba yomwe anali atazolowera amayi ake, yomwe inali yabwino kwambiri. Amatha kukhala kusukulu kwawo komanso kumadera oyandikana nawo ambiri. Amakonda nyumba yake, ziweto zake ndi abwenzi ndipo kupatula kuchezera bambo ake nthawi zina, anali m'malo abwino.
Sanazindikire mpaka anali ndi zaka za m'ma 30 kuti amayi ake amamuzunza koopsa. Zingatheke bwanji kuti wina asadziwe kuti akuzunzidwa? Mtundu wa kuzunzidwa komwe adakumana nako kopitilira theka la moyo wake ndichizunzo chobisika komanso chodziwika bwino chotchedwa Parent Alienation kapena Parent Alienation Syndrome (PAS).
Kodi Parent Alienation Syndrome ndi chiyani?
Ndi mtundu wankhanza wamaganizidwe ndi malingaliro omwe samakhala ndi zipsera kapena mabala kunja. Kupitiliza, chilichonse cholembedwa chofiira chidzakhala zizindikilo za PAS.
Zimayamba bwanji?
Inayamba pang'onopang'ono. Amayi amatha kunena zoyipa zingapo za abambo apa ndi apo. Mwachitsanzo, "abambo ako ndi okhwima kwambiri", "abambo ako samakumvetsa", "abambo ako ndi ankhanza". Popita nthawi, zinafika poipa kwambiri amayi akumanena zinthu kwa Dave ngati kuti anali wosungulumwa, anali ndi nkhawa ndi zachuma ndipo amatha kugwiritsa ntchito Dave kuti adziwe zambiri za moyo wachinsinsi wa abambo ake. Nthawi zambiri Dave amamva amayi ake akulankhula pafoni akudandaula ndikunena zoyipa za abambo ake. Kuphatikiza apo, amayi amapita ndi Dave kupita kwa dokotala kapena kwa alangizi popanda kuwauza abambo awo mpaka patadutsa masiku kapena milungu ingapo. Ankagwira ntchito osadalira mgwirizano wamndende. Abambo ake amakhala m'matawuni ochepa kutali ndipo pang'onopang'ono koma, Dave amafuna kutaya nthawi yocheperako. Amasowa abwenzi ake ndikudandaula za amayi ake kukhala okha.
Abambo ake adakhala munthu "woyipa"
Zinthu zambiri zidayamba kuchitika pazaka zambiri. Abambo a Dave ankakonda kumulanga pamakalasi ochepa ndipo amayi amakonda "kumvetsetsa" zovuta zake kusukulu. Kuyesera konse kulanga Dave chifukwa cha magiredi ake operewera kapena machitidwe olakwika kumatha kusokonezedwa ndi amayi a Dave. Amayi a Dave amamuuza Dave kuti abambo ake anali opusa komanso osakondera pophunzitsa, chifukwa chake abambo a Dave anali "oyipa". Amayi a Dave adakhala mnzake wapamtima. Amakhoza kumuuza chilichonse ndikumverera kuti sangamasulire bambo ake momasuka, komanso kucheza ndi abambo ake kumakhala kovuta kwambiri.
Kuzunzidwa kudakulirakulira pomwe Dave anali ndi zaka 15. Abambo ake adakumana ndi zovuta zina zamabizinesi. Sanadziwe tsatanetsatane koma zimawoneka ngati zolimba. Abambo a Dave amayenera kuchepetsa ndalama zomwe anali kugwiritsa ntchito ndipo anali otanganidwa kwambiri kuyesa kumanganso ntchito yawo. Inali nthawi imeneyi pamene amayi a Dave adayamba kugawana zambiri zomwe bambo ake adachita. Dziwani, samadziwa zambiri koma amadzimva kuti ali ndi ufulu wofotokozera zomwe amakhulupirira. Anayambanso kunena zabodza za Dave za chisudzulocho, mavuto ake azachuma omwe anali "abambo ake", amamuwonetsa ma Dave maimelo ndi mameseji omwe abambo a Dave adatumizira, ndi zina zambiri zabodza zomwe zidamupangitsa Dave kukulirakulira mavuto. Mavuto a Dave kusukulu, kukhumudwa, kudzidalira komanso kudya mopitirira muyeso zidayamba kuwononga kwambiri. Pomaliza, popeza zimawoneka ngati kuti bambo ndi chifukwa chomwe Dave anali kuvutikira kwambiri, adaganiza kuti sakufuna kuwawona abambo ake.
Adakhala wolankhulira amayi ake
Kuchokera pazomwe zimawoneka kuti palibe paliponse, amayi adalumikizana ndi loya wawo ndikuyamba kugudubuza posintha mgwirizano wamndende. Abambo a Dave atayamba kumva kuti akukankhidwira kutali amamufunsa Dave zomwe zikuchitika komanso chifukwa chomwe Dave adamukwiyira. Dave adagawana zidutswa zazomwe amayi amalankhula ndipo abambo adayamba kumva kuti amayi ali pantchito yoti amusunge Dave. Zinthu zomwe Dave amalankhula kwa abambo ake zimamveka ngati mawu omwe amayi a Dave amalankhula komanso kunena kwa abambo ake m'mbuyomu. Dave adakhala wolankhulira amayi ake. Amayesetsa dala kuti atulutse Dave kwa abambo ake ndipo samadziwa momwe angathetsere kapena kuthandiza Dave kuwona zomwe zikuchitika. Abambo a Dave adadziwa kuti amayi ake anali ndi kuwawa kwachisudzulo (ngakhale kuti ndiye adapempha kuti athetse banja). Abambo a Dave adadziwa kuti anali asanavomerezepo kalembedwe kazakulera komanso kuti panali zovuta zambiri pakati pawo, koma sanaganize kuti angayesere dave kuti amutsutse.
Nkhani ya Dave siyodziwika kawirikawiri
Ndizomvetsa chisoni koma zowona kuti makolo ambiri osudzulana amatengera ana awo mwadala kapena mosadziwa. Pokhapokha pakhala pali nkhanza zomwe mwana samayenera kukhala ndi makolo onse awiri, ndiye kuti ndizosaloledwa kwa kholo lomwe lili ndi ufulu wopanga zosokoneza ubale wamwana ndi kholo linalo. Zomwe amayi a Dave anali kuchita, yomwe ndi njira yotsimikizika yovutikira amisala ndi malingaliro, anali kulunjika kwa abambo a Dave ndikupatula Dave kwa iye. Mayi ake a Dave anali kuphunzitsa mochenjera kwakanthawi Dave kuti abambo ake anali kholo "loipa" ndipo anali kholo "langwiro".
Kusambitsa ubongo
Izi zatchedwa Parent Alienation Syndrome, komabe, ndikufuna kuti ndikhale wosalira zambiri ndikuyitcha kuti ndi chiyani, Kusamba kwa ubongo. Ndiye tsopano, nchiyani chomwe abambo a Dave akanatha kuchita kapena kuchita pakadali pano kuti Dave wakula?
Kuti tidziwe zoyenera kuchita, tiyenera kumvetsetsa kusamba kwa ubongo. M'mikhalidwe ya Dave, amayi ake adagwiritsa ntchito kudzipatula komanso kutengera malingaliro ake pa abambo ake ndi mabodza komanso zonama. Tsoka ilo, zachisoni kwambiri, panali zambiri zomwe bambo a Dave sakanatha kuchita. Anayesetsabe kupitiriza kulumikizana ndi Dave pomutengera kukadyera kapena kumasewera. Adayesa kuchepetsa kudzipatula momwe angathere mwa kulumikizana kudzera pama foni ndi madeti apadera ndi mwana wake. Nthawi imeneyo, abambo a Dave amangomukonda ndipo anali oleza mtima (malinga ndi zomwe adalimbikitsa). Abambo a Dave adafunafuna chithandizo ndi chitsogozo kuti asapangitse kuti zinthu ziipireipire ndi Dave.
Kulimbana ndi kudzidalira komanso kukhumudwa
Dave atakula ndikukhala munthu wamkulu, adapitilizabe kulimbana ndi kudzidalira komanso kukhala ndi vuto lamavuto. Kukhumudwa kwake kudapitilirabe ndipo adazindikira kuti zovuta zake zimasokoneza moyo wake. Tsiku lina, anali ndi "mphindi yowonekera bwino". Ife akatswiri timakonda kuyitcha iyo "aha" mphindi. Sanadziwe kwenikweni kuti zidachitika liti, liti kapena motani, koma tsiku lina adadzuka ndikuwasowa abambo ake. Anayamba kuthera nthawi yochulukirapo ndi abambo ake, kumamuitana sabata iliyonse ndikuyamba kulumikizanso. Mpaka pomwe Dave anali ndi nthawi yomveka bwino kuti abambo a Dave amatha kuchita chilichonse kuti athane ndi kupatukana / kusokoneza bongo.
Dave anali atalumikizananso ndi kufunikira kwake kwachilengedwe kokonda makolo onse ndikukondedwa ndi makolo onse awiri. Ndikudziwa izi, Dave adafunafuna chithandizo chake ndipo adayamba njira yothanirana ndi amayi ake. Pambuyo pake adatha kukambirana naye za zomwe adaphunzira komanso zomwe adakumana nazo. Zitenga nthawi yayitali kuti ubale wake ndi amayi ake ukonzeke koma amalumikizana ndi makolo onse awiri, akufuna kudziwa ndikudziwika ndi onse awiri.
Zomvetsa chisoni m'nkhaniyi ndikuti ana ali ndi chosowa chobadwa nacho ndipo amafuna kukonda makolo onse ndikukondedwa ndi makolo onse awiri. Kusudzulana sikusintha izi. Kwa aliyense amene awerenga nkhaniyi, chonde ikani ana anu patsogolo.
Limbikitsani ana kuti azilumikizana ndi kholo linalo
Ngati inu ndi mnzanu mwalekana kapena mwasudzulana chonde limbikitsani ana anu kuti azilumikizana ndi kholo linalo momwe angathere komanso malinga ndi malamulo amgwirizano wosunga mwana. Chonde khalani osasintha komanso osinthasintha chifukwa maubale amafunikira nthawi kuti akule ndikukula. Chonde musalankhule zoyipa za kholo linalo pamaso pa mwanayo kapena pankhongo pomvana. Chonde funsani upangiri pazinthu zilizonse zomwe simunathe kuthana nazo zomwe mungakhale nazo ndi wakale wanu kuti mavuto anu asafalikire kwa ana. Chofunika kwambiri, ngati palibe umboni woti mwanayo wachitiridwa nkhanza ndiye kuti muyenera kuthandiza ubale wa ana anu ndi kholo linalo. Ana sapempha kuti athetse banja. Safunsanso kuti banja lawo lithe.Ana osudzulana omwe ali ndi makolo omwe amalemekezabe komanso amalemekezana nthawi zonse amakhala bwino pakati pawo komanso amakhala ndiubwenzi wokhalitsa. Ikani ana ndi zosowa zawo patsogolo. Kodi sizomwe zimatanthauza kukhala kholo?