Zamkati
- Kodi chilankhulo ndi chiyani?
- Zizindikiro zolimbitsa thupi
- 1. Kumwetulira
- 2. Kutsanzira mayendedwe a wina ndi mnzake
- 3. Kuyenda mogwirizana
- 4. Thupi limangoyang'anizana
- 5. Kukhudza mwadzidzidzi komanso pafupipafupi
- 6. Kutsamira wina ndi mnzake
- 7. Kuyang'anizana m'maso
- 8. Tsegulani migwalangwa pokambirana
- 9. Manja oteteza
- 10. Miyambo yapadera yapadera kwa inu nonse
- Zizindikiro zoyipa zolankhula ndi thupi
- 1. Kuphethira mosasinthasintha
- 2. Pat kumbuyo
- 3. Thupi lotsekedwa
- 4. Masamba otukuka
- 5. Manja atapuma mchiuno
- 6. Manja owoloka
- 7. Manja pamphumi
- 8. Kutalikirana wina ndi mnzake
- 9. Kuyang'ana kumbali
- 10. Kukoka kutali ndi kukhudzana ndi thupi
- Momwe mungatumizire mawu ochezeka osalankhula?
- Nthawi zonse ganizirani nkhaniyo
Kuyankhulana kwathu kumapangidwa ndi zizindikiritso zamawu komanso zopanda mawu. Kuchokera pa nkhope yathu mpaka momwe timakhalira thupi lathu, zinthu zomwe sitimanena zimatumizirabe uthenga komanso zimakhudza momwe timakhalira ndi ena.
Tikazolowera chilankhulo cha thupi, timatha kuzindikira zomwe ena amalankhula popanda kugwiritsa ntchito mawu. Kuzindikira zizindikiritso zamthupi kumathandizanso maluso athu olumikizirana.
Kudzera mwa kulamulira kwa zizindikiritso zathupi lathu, tikuwongolera uthenga womwe tikutumiza ndikuchepetsa chiopsezo chofotokozera zomwe sitinkafuna kunena.
Tisanapitilire kufotokoza zitsanzo za zizindikiritso zamthupi, tiyeni tifotokozere kuti ndi chilankhulo chiti choyambirira.
Kodi chilankhulo ndi chiyani?
Chilankhulo chamthupi chimatanthawuza gawo lomwe silimalankhula pakulankhulana. Gawo lalikulu lolumikizirana limakhala ndizizindikiro zopanda mawu, kuphatikiza zolankhula zamthupi. Malinga ndi kafukufuku, gawolo ndi 60-65% yazomwe timachita tsiku lililonse.
Mitundu ina yolankhulirana yopanda mawu imaphatikizapo nkhope, mawonekedwe, kugwira, kukhudzana ndi diso, malo amunthu, manja, ziwonetsero monga kamvekedwe ka mawu, ndi zinthu monga zinthu ndi zithunzi.
Kuwerenga zolankhula mthupi kumayamba ndikumvetsetsa tanthauzo la zizindikilo za thupi. Ngakhale tanthauzo la zizindikiritso zamthupi limatha kusiyanasiyana kutengera momwe zinthu ziliri komanso anthu omwe akukhudzidwa, zizindikilo zina ndizosavuta ndipo zimawonekera tanthauzo lake.
Zizindikiro zolimbitsa thupi
1. Kumwetulira
Tili ndi minofu 43 pankhope pathu, motero sizosadabwitsa kuti nkhope ndi gawo lathu lakuthupi lomwe limawulula kwambiri. Ganizilani za momwe munthu angawonetsere zochuluka ndi nkhope yake.
Ngati wina akuwuzani kuti ali bwino, koma nkhope zawo sizikuwonetsa momwe akumvera, simukhulupirira zomwe akunena.
Komanso, timaganizira momwe akumvera komanso umunthu wawo posachedwa. Zambiri zikuwonetsa kuti 100 ms kuwonekera pankhope ndikokwanira kuti anthu azitha kupanga ziweruzo zosiyanasiyana monga kudalirika, kuthekera, komanso nkhanza.
Chosangalatsa ndichakuti adapezanso kuti nkhope yomwe imakhudza kukwera pang'ono kwa nsidze ndikumwetulira pang'ono imagwirizana kwambiri ndiubwenzi komanso chidaliro. Chifukwa chake, kumwetulira kukupitilira ngati chimodzi mwazizindikiro zofunika kwambiri zolankhula ndi thupi.
2. Kutsanzira mayendedwe a wina ndi mnzake
Chilankhulo chamanja cha mabanja omwe ali okondana mosangalala apeza kuti amakonda kusuntha, kumwetulira, komanso kuyankhula chimodzimodzi.
Kukhala nthawi yayitali limodzi ndikupeza wina wokongola kumatipangitsa kuti, makamaka mosazindikira, titsatire machitidwe awo. Kuwonetserana zomwe wina ndi mnzake amachita kumawerengedwa kuti ndi chilankhulo cha mabanja omwe ali mchikondi.
3. Kuyenda mogwirizana
Chilankhulo cha maanja chikuwululira momwe amakondanirana komanso kulumikizidwa kudzera pazizindikiro monga momwe amathandizirana poyenda, mwachitsanzo.
Momwe amadziwira ndikulumikizana ndi zomwe anzawo sachita kunena, amatha kufanana ndi mayendedwe awo. Chifukwa chake, titha kunena kuti momwe kuyandikira kumakhudzira kusinthasintha kwa zomwe anzawo akuchita.
4. Thupi limangoyang'anizana
Pali chinsinsi chimodzi chakulankhula ndi thupi chomwe aliyense akuyang'ana kuti adziwe ngati munthu amawakonda ayenera kudziwa. Tikaona winawake akusangalatsa kapena wolimbikitsa, thupi lathu limangoyang'ana kwa iye. Sitikudziwa ngakhale izi zitachitika.
Chifukwa chake, mutha kugwiritsa ntchito chizindikirochi kuti muwone momwe winayo akumvera za inu. Kodi matupi awo kapena malangizo amiyendo amakulozerani? Yang'anirani mayendedwe achikondi awa.
5. Kukhudza mwadzidzidzi komanso pafupipafupi
Tikakopeka ndi winawake, timafuna kuwakhudza pafupifupi mwachibadwa. Kaya ndikuchotsa mabatani "owoneka" pa malaya awo, kukwapula pang'ono pamkono, kapena kungogwira modzipereka polankhula, chizindikirochi chimawonetsa chidwi chofuna kukondana. Pomwe pali kuyandikirana m'malingaliro, kukhudza kumakhala kwachilengedwe monga kupuma.
6. Kutsamira wina ndi mnzake
Ngati mukuyang'ana kuti mumvetsetse chilankhulo cha thupi, yang'anirani anthu omwe akufuna kuti azikhala pafupi ndi mnzake. Kodi akutsamira pomwe winayo akuyankhula? Kutsamira kumtunda kwa munthu wina ndikutilowetsa nkhope ndi kwawo ndi chizindikiro cha chidwi chenicheni.
Kuphatikiza apo, kutsamira mutu wanu paphewa ngati ubale, chilankhulo cha thupi chimamasulira kukhulupirirana komanso kuyandikira. Izi zikutanthauza kuti ndinu omasuka kukhala pafupi nawo, ndipo zimalankhula zaubwenzi wapamtima.
7. Kuyang'anizana m'maso
Pali chifukwa chomwe anthu amati "maso ndi galasi lamoyo." Zambiri zitha kuzunguliridwa ndikuwoneka kamodzi. Zizindikiro zachikondi zamaso zimatha kuyambitsa kukambirana kwathunthu.
Chifukwa chake, pamene wina akukuyang'anani nthawi zambiri kapena akukuyang'anirani kwakanthawi pang'ono kuposa nthawi zonse, mutha kukhala otsimikiza kuti amakusangalatsani. Kuphatikiza apo, maanja omwe amakondana komanso kukondana amatha kusinthana ziganizo mongoyerekeza. Amangoyang'anizana pomwe china chake chikuchitika kuti awone momwe okondedwa awo amachitira.
Chifukwa chake, zikwangwani zakukhudzana ndi maso zikuyimira kudalira, kuzolowera, komanso kumvana komwe sikufuna mawu.
8. Tsegulani migwalangwa pokambirana
Kakhalidwe kathu ndi manja athu amasintha kutengera mawonekedwe athu ndi zomwe timalankhula popeza thupi lathu limawonetsa momwe timamvera.
Chifukwa chake, ngati tili ndi chidwi ndi zomwe wina akutiuza ndipo tikufuna kumumvera, manja athu nthawi zambiri amakhala osonyeza kulankhulana. Mitundu yakanjedza yowonekera nthawi zambiri imakhala chisonyezo cha malingaliro otseguka ndikuyang'ana kwambiri munthu.
9. Manja oteteza
Kodi mwawona mnzanu akuyika mkono wake pagulu kuti akutetezeni? Mwina amatenga dzanja lanu mwachilengedwe powoloka msewu? Kodi akuwona ngati wina akukusokonezani ndikupita nawo pazokambirana kuti akutetezeni?
Zochita ngati izi zikuwonetsa kuti akufuna kukutetezani monga momwe tonse timachitira tikasamalira wina. Mwachibadwa amafunika kuwonetsetsa kuti muli otetezeka.
10. Miyambo yapadera yapadera kwa inu nonse
Kodi muli ndi njira yapadera yolankhulirana, kutsinzinira, kapena kutsanzikana wina ndi mnzake? Monga nthabwala zamkati, kugwirana chinsinsi, ndi miyambo yapadera zimayankhula mpaka momwe mumadziwira. Tikadziwana bwino komanso kumva kuti tili pafupi, zimawonekera pamakhalidwe athu.
Zizindikiro zoyipa zolankhula ndi thupi
1. Kuphethira mosasinthasintha
Ngakhale kuphethira kumakhala kwachilengedwe, ndipo timachita izi nthawi zonse, kulimba kwake ndikofunikira kudziwa. Kuphethira pafupipafupi kumawonetsa kusapeza bwino kapena kupsinjika.
Kuphatikiza apo, zambiri zikuwonetsa kuti kuphethira pafupipafupi kumawonetsa kuti munthu akuyesera mwadala kuyendetsa kayendedwe ka maso ake. Mulimonsemo, kuphethira kosasunthika kumatha kuwonetsa kuti wina sakumva bwino kapena sakondwera kukhala momwemo kapena ndi munthuyo.
2. Pat kumbuyo
Kupapasa kumbuyo kwake sikuyenera kukhala chizindikiro cholakwika. Komabe, ngati muli pachibwenzi, zitha kuwonetsa kusowa kwaubwenzi. Ngati mukufuna kutsimikiziridwa ndi kuthandizidwa ndipo mnzanuyo akusankha kum'mbatirana modekha, zitha kuwonetsa kutayika kwa kulumikizana. Sikoweruza kuti aphedwe chifukwa cha ubalewo, koma ndiyofunika kuyang'anitsitsa.
3. Thupi lotsekedwa
Poyesera kumvetsetsa zolankhula zamthupi komanso maubale, yang'anani momwe anthu amakhalira. Kukhazikika kotsekedwa ndikuphatikizira mtsogolo ndikubisa thunthu la thupi kumatha kuwonetsa kusakhala bwino komanso nkhawa.
4. Masamba otukuka
Kafukufuku wa Dr. Gottman akuwonetsa kuti kunyozedwa ndi chimodzi mwazomwe zimayambitsa kusudzulana. Njira imodzi yomwe thupi lathu limavumbulutsira kutsutsidwa ndizosakatula. Ngati anthu sanasokonezedwe ndi zomwe zikunenedwa, masamba osasunthika amatha kuwonetsa kusagwirizana, kudana, kukwiya, kapena kupsa mtima.
Izi zitha kukhala chiwonetsero cha kukambirana kwakukulu komanso chenjezo kuti musamale kuchuluka komwe kungachitike.
5. Manja atapuma mchiuno
Kodi mudawonapo anthu akuyankhula ndikudziyimira atagwira m'chiuno? Ngati mwatero, mwina, mwalingalira mwachangu kuti pangakhale mkangano womwe ukuchitika kumeneko. Izi zili choncho chifukwa kuima ndi manja m'chiuno kungatanthauze kukhala wolamulira kapena wokonzeka.
Chizindikirochi chimatanthauzira kukhala olamulira komanso kukhala olamulira. Mwinanso, itha kutanthauzidwanso ngati chizindikiro chaukali.
6. Manja owoloka
Tikafunika kudzimva kuti ndife otetezedwa, timapangana. Kudutsa manja polankhula kumatha kutanthauza kufunikira kopanga khoma pakati pathu ndi munthu wina ndi mawu awo.
Zida zodutsa pachifuwa zikuwonetsa kufunika kochepetsa chiopsezo chomwe tingamvepo pakadali pano. Ikhozanso kuwonetsa kukhumudwa, kukwiya, kapena kukhumudwa.
Komanso penyani: Psychology imapusitsa kuti muwerenge aliyense ngati buku
7. Manja pamphumi
Munthu akaika manja pamphumi pake, nthawi zambiri amakhala akumenya khoma lamtundu winawake. Mwina atopa kuyesera kufotokoza malingaliro awo ndikukhumudwitsidwa chifukwa chosamvedwa.
Mukawona mnzanu akuchita zambiri, mukufuna kuti mulowemo ndikukhala tcheru kuzomwe akuyesera kulankhulana.
8. Kutalikirana wina ndi mnzake
Chilankhulo cha anthu omwe ali pachibwenzi nthawi zambiri chimawonetsa matupi awo akungoyang'anizana ndikutsogozana, ndikutsatira mfundo zomwezo, kutembenukirana ndikuwonetsa kufunikira kwakutali.
Itha kukhala yakanthawi kapena yodziwika; komabe, kusiya wina kapena kutsamira patali kumatha kuwonetsa kusakondera kapena kusapeza bwino.
9. Kuyang'ana kumbali
Ngakhale zingakhale zokopa kuyang'ana pansi kapena kumbali pamene wina alankhula nafe, kupewa kuyang'anitsitsa maso kumatha kutipangitsa kukhala osakhudzidwa. Malinga ndi kafukufuku, nkhawa zamagulu zimakhudzana ndi kupewa kapena kupatukana ndi diso.
Komabe, amatanthauziridwa kuti alibe chidwi ndi zokambirana. Ngati ndi kotheka, yesetsani kuyang'ana m'maso kwa ena osachepera 60% ya nthawiyo. Zambiri kuposa izi zitha kuwoneka ngati zikuyambira, komanso zochepa kuposa zomwe sizikukhudzidwa.
10. Kukoka kutali ndi kukhudzana ndi thupi
Mukakhala mchikondi, anthu amayesetsa kulumikizana pafupipafupi. Ngati mmalo mopukutira timitengo ta fumbi kapena kuyika chingwe chotsalira kuseri kwa khutu lawo, mnzake angasankhe kungodziwitsa wokondedwa wake za mawonekedwe osokonekera, itha kukhala mbendera yofiira.
Makamaka zikapitilira ndikuphatikizidwa ndi chilankhulo china choyipa monga kutembenukira mbali ina pabedi, kupsompsona mwachangu komanso mwachangu, kapena kusiya dzanja poyesa kugwirana manja.
Momwe mungatumizire mawu ochezeka osalankhula?
Ngati mukufuna kuwonetsetsa kuti simukukankhira wina aliyense mwadzidzidzi, yambani kuyang'anitsitsa kwambiri thupi lanu. Kodi mumakhala bwanji, kuyankhulana ndi maso, kudziyika nokha polankhula ndi wina, ndipo nkhope yanu ndiyotani pakadali pano?
Kuwongolera kuyankhulana kosagwiritsa ntchito mawu kumachitika.
Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kulumikizana pakati pakhazikikidwe kokhazikika ndi kukondana kwamunthu. Kukhazikika kwa thupi kumalimbikitsa izi kudzera pakulingalira kwa ulamuliro ndi kutseguka kwa anthu omwe akuganiza izi.
Chifukwa chake, ngati mukuyang'ana kuti muwonjezere zovuta zomwe muli nazo pachibwenzi, mutha kuwona ndikukhazikika kwa thupi.
Kuyankhulana mosagwiritsa ntchito mawu kumachita gawo lofunikira pofotokozera ena zambiri komanso momwe amatanthauzira zochita zathu ndikuweruza mikhalidwe yathu.
Mwetulirani kwambiri, tsegulani manja anu ndikutuluka m'matumba mwanu, yang'anani maso ndi maso, ndipo pewani zolimbitsa thupi zina kuti ziwoneke bwino komanso kuti muzitha kuyanjana bwino ndi ena.
Nthawi zonse ganizirani nkhaniyo
Ngakhale zilankhulo zambiri zamthupi zimatha kumvedwa mwachidziwitso, nthawi zonse samalani ndikuganiza momwe ziriri. Musaganize kuti mukudziwa chomwe china chimatanthauza motsimikiza kapena chitenge kuti chikutanthauza chimodzimodzi nthawi zonse.
Ngakhale momwe mawonekedwe, mawonekedwe, ndi kamvekedwe ka mawu angakuuzeni zambiri pazomwe munthuyo akufuna kunena, nthawi zonse lingalirani zomwe akukuuzani mukamasulira tanthauzo la uthenga wawo.
Kuphatikiza apo, mumamudziwa mnzanu komanso anthu omwe mumakonda kwambiri kuposa wina aliyense. Ngakhale mutha kuwona zina mwazizindikiro zopanda mawu, njira yotetezeka kwambiri ndikumakambirana ndi munthuyo.
Kukumbukira zizindikilo za thupi ndi mbendera zofiira zomwe sizingafanane sikuyenera kukhala kofanana ndi kudumpha kumapeto.
M'malo mwake, tengani nthawi yofunsa munthuyo ndikufotokozerani chilankhulo chilichonse chomwe chingakusokonezeni. Kumbukirani kuphatikiza mbali zonse ziwiri pakusaka kwanu tanthauzo - mawu ndi osanena.