Zamkati
- Tonsefe timafunikira mawu ndi malo otetezeka
- 1. Kuvomereza
- 2. Zolephera pakuyang'ana
- 3. Kubwerera ku chikhulupiriro chake
- 4. Zosangalatsa zakunja
Kusakhulupirika m'banja kumachitika m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Palibe zochitika ziwiri zomwe zikufanana, ngakhale zambiri ndizofanana. Mabanja ambiri amabwera kuchipatala kuti athetse kusakhulupirika ndikuchira ndikuyambiranso ukwati wawo. Koma kwa ena, munthu amabwera yekha kudzalingalira zinthu, popeza amafunsa ngati ayenera kukhala kapena kuchoka.
Kukhala wokwatiwa ndi wonyenga wamba
Susan, wazaka 51 wakhala m'banja zaka zopitilira 20. Iye ndi mwamuna wake ali ndi ana atatu limodzi (17, 15, 11). Ndi munthu wokonda kupembedza kwambiri ndipo adachokera kunyumba komwe makolo ake adasudzulana chifukwa bambo ake anali ndi zochitika zingapo. Komabe, ngakhale panali zochitika zambiri, amayi ake sanafune kuti ukwatiwo uthe ndipo anapitiliza kukhala mpaka bambo ake atachoka.
Sanakule ndi zambiri koma zomwe adakulira anali mayi - yemwe pazifukwa zake zachipembedzo - sanaganizepo zosudzulana. Izi zidalimbikitsidwa pamoyo wake wonse.
Amayi ake adalankhula zakukhala ndi mwamunayo mosasamala kanthu zomwe zimachitika - kupatula kuzunzidwa. Anavutikira makolo ake atasudzulana. Sinali nthawi yabwino kwa iye ndi abale ake.
Susan adasweka mtima makamaka chifukwa amayenera kuchezeredwa ndi abambo ake komanso nthawi yomweyo kuwonera amayi ake akuvutika. Kuchokera pazomwe adakumana nazo pamoyo, adaganiza kuti sangachite izi kwa ana ake, ngati angakwatiwe ndikukhala ndi ana - kutanthauza kuti apitiliza kukhala m'banja, mosasamala kanthu.
Chodabwitsa ndichakuti nayenso wakwatiwa ndi wonyenga wamba. Koma chifukwa ndi Mkristu wodzipereka ndipo samamenyedwa, sangasiye ukwatiwo.
Mwamuna wa Susan wakhala ndi zochitika zingapo. Sanaime. Amangoyang'ana zidziwitso, zidziwitso zilizonse, zomwe zitha kutsimikizira m'matumbo ake akumva kuti china chake sichili, kuti amabera. Nthawizonse zinali m'maganizo mwake. Zidadya nthawi yayitali. Mphamvu zake zambiri.
Anapeza mafoni angapo owonjezera ndipo amawaimbira foni azimayiwo. Limbanani nawo. Kukwanira kunena, zinali kumusokoneza iye. Pakupezeka kulikonse, sanakhulupirire kuti uwu ndi moyo wake (koma zinali!) Amasamalidwa bwino pazachuma. Anagonana. Anakumana ndi mwamuna wake koma sizinathandize.
Ngakhale adagwidwa, sanavomereze. Anayamba mankhwala. Anapitapo limodzi kamodzi, koma chithandizo chake chinali ndi masiku ochepa. Onse amatero.
Pokhapokha ngati wina ali wofunitsitsa kuti atulutse magawo, kuwululidwa, ndikakumana ndi ziwanda zake chifukwa chake amabera, palibe chiyembekezo.
Ndipo chiyembekezo chilichonse chomwe wina ali nacho kuti mnzake, pamapeto pake, adzasintha, mwatsoka sakhalitsa.
Tonsefe timafunikira mawu ndi malo otetezeka
Monga wachipatala mtundu uwu, poyamba ungakhale wovuta, sindinama. Ndimaganizira momwe munthu amadzimvera akasankha kukhalabe muukwati wosasamala, omwe amakhala akunama nthawi zonse, kusakhulupirika, komanso kusakhulupirirana.
Koma ndinayika mabuleki pamalingaliro amenewo mwachangu, chifukwa zimangokhala zokondera, 'Judgy', komanso zopanda chilungamo. Si amene ndili ngati wachipatala.
Ndimadzikumbutsa mwachangu kuti ndikofunikira kukumana ndi munthu komwe ali osati komwe ndikuganiza kuti ayenera kukhala. Kupatula apo, siudindo wanga, ndi wawo.
Ndiye, ndichifukwa chiyani Susan adalandira chithandizo chamankhwala ngati amadziwa kale kuti sadzasiya ukwati?
Choyamba, tonsefe timafunikira mawu ndi malo otetezeka. Sanathe kuyankhula ndi abwenzi chifukwa amadziwa zomwe anganene. Amadziwa kuti adzaweruzidwa.
Sakanatha kudzagawana ndi amayi ake zomwe adachita mosazindikira chifukwa amakonda kwambiri mpongozi wake ndipo sanafune kumuwulula mwanjira ina ndipo amayenera kuyankha pazomwe anasankha - ngakhale amayi ake adapanga yemweyo.
Ankangomva kuti atsekerezedwa, atadzimangirira, komanso kusungulumwa.
Momwe chithandizo chidathandizira Susan
1. Kuvomereza
Susan akudziwa kuti alibe malingaliro ofuna kusiya mwamuna wake - ngakhale iye akudziwa kuti akudziwa.
Kwa iye ndikulandila chisankho chomwe wapanga komanso zinthu zikafika poipa (ndipo amatero) kapena akapezanso chibwenzi china, amadzikumbutsa kuti akusankha tsiku lililonse kuti akhale m'banja pazifukwa zake - chipembedzo ndi chikhumbo champhamvu kuti asathetse banja lake.
2. Zolephera pakuyang'ana
Susan amayenera kuphunzira momwe angachokere nthawi zina kuchokera pakulakalaka kosalekeza komwe akukhala ndikuyang'ana mayankho.
Ichi sichinali chinthu chophweka kuchita chifukwa ngakhale adadziwa kuti sachoka, izi zidatsimikizira m'matumbo mwake, kotero amadzimva kuti ndi 'wopenga' momwe anganene.
3. Kubwerera ku chikhulupiriro chake
Tinagwiritsira ntchito chikhulupiriro chake monga nyonga m’nthaŵi zovuta. Izi zidamuthandiza kuti azikhala ndi chidwi ndikumupatsa mtendere wamkati. Kwa Susan, izi zinatanthauza kupita kutchalitchi kangapo pamlungu. Izi zidamuthandiza kuti akhale wopanda nkhawa komanso wotetezeka, kuti athe kukumbukira chifukwa chake akusankha kukhalabe.
4. Zosangalatsa zakunja
Chifukwa cha kuchotsedwa ntchito posachedwa, anali ndi nthawi yambiri yodzifufuza yekha.
M'malo mongobwereranso kuntchito (komanso chifukwa azachuma sayenera) adaganiza zopatula nthawi yocheza, kucheza ndi abwenzi, ndikuganiza zokonda kunja kwanyumba ndikulera ana ake. Izi zapangitsa kuti akhale ndi ufulu komanso zimamupatsa chidaliro.
Susan atazindikira chibwenzi china, akupitilizabe kulankhulana ndi mwamuna wake, koma palibe chomwe chimasintha. Ndipo sizingatero. Iye akudziwa izi tsopano. Akupitilizabe kukana nkhaniyi ndipo sadzatenga udindo.
Koma kwa iye, kukhala ndi wina woti alankhule naye ndikumulankhula popanda kuweruzidwa ndikubwera ndi malingaliro oti akhalebe wamisala pomwe akupitilizabe kukhala m'banjamo, zamuthandiza pamaganizidwe ndi malingaliro.
Kukumana ndi munthu komwe ali osati komwe munthu akukhulupirira kuti ayenera kukhala ndikuwathandiza ndi njira zabwino, nthawi zambiri kumapereka mpumulo ndi chilimbikitso chomwe anthu ambiri, monga Susan, akufuna.