Zamkati
- Chifukwa chiyani tikufunikira zokambirana
- 1. Onetsani Kumvetsetsa Komwe Mnzanu Amayankhira Potsutsana
- 2. Lankhulani ndi uthenga wathunthu womwe wachotsedwa
- 3. Perekani chitsimikiziro ndi kutsimikizika
- 4. Mawu anu okonzekera ndi osiyana ndi momwe zinthu ziliri pano
- 5. Zokonza ziyenera kukhala zochitika nthawi zonse
"Pepani, nenani pepani, pemphani kuti mundikhululukire ..." Ndi kangati mwamva mawu awa akukula? Nthawi zambiri timaphunzitsa ana kufunikira kogwiritsa ntchito mawu okonzekera kuti athetse chibwenzi pomwe wina akumva kuwawa, kapena panali zomwe zidawononga ubale wawo. Koma kodi timagwiranso ntchito yofanayi ngati pakhala zopuma zolumikizana muubwenzi wathu wachikulire? Pambuyo paubwana, mawu oti 'kukonza' nthawi zambiri amatha kuphatikizidwa ndi kukonza chida chosweka kapena zamagetsi m'malo mothandiza ubale kulumikizanso pambuyo pa mkangano. Ngakhale kufunikira kwakukonzanso ntchito m'maubwenzi kumakhalabe kofunikira paubwenzi wonse, mawu osavuta akuti "Pepani" ndi machitidwe omwe adathetsa kusamvana pa malo osewerera akhoza kuchepa pokwaniritsa cholinga chomwecho cholumikizanso pambuyo pa mkangano maubwenzi akuluakulu.
Chifukwa chiyani tikufunikira zokambirana
Zambiri zomwe timakumana nazo m'moyo, ndimomwe timabweretsa zopweteketsa zathu zakale pamikangano yatsopano, ndikuwonjezera zomwe zikufunika kuchokera pakukonzanso kuti timve lingaliro lomwelo ndikutsimikiza. Komabe, tikamakula, timayesetsanso kupewa mikangano ndikudutsa ntchito yokonzanso, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti ubale wathu usokonezeke. Nthawi zambiri, sikuti chidwi chofuna kukhala ndi ubale wabwino ndi chomwe chimalepheretsa ntchito yokonzanso, koma kukhala otanganidwa, kukhumudwitsidwa poyeserera koyambirira, kapena kusatsimikizika kwamomwe mungachitire pokonzanso zopumira pakabuka mikangano. Kaya chifukwa chake ndi chiyani, pamene maubale samalandira ntchito yokonzanso nthawi zonse, abwenzi amasiya kulumikizana ndikukwiya wina ndi mnzake.
Mikangano, mwachilengedwe, imasokoneza mitundu yaziphatikizi zomwe zimatipangitsa kukhala otetezeka, otetezedwa, komanso osamalidwa m'maubale. Makonzedwe okonzanso ndi mawu kapena zochita zomwe zimathandiza kuti ubale ubwerere kumalo abata ndi chitetezo pakatha kusamvana. Monga kukonza kulikonse kwabwino, ntchito yothandiza kwambiri imachitika ngati gawo lokonza maubale m'malo modikira mpaka kuwonongeka konse. Chifukwa chake m'malo modikirira mpaka kumenyananso kwakukulu kapena gawo lotsatira la maanja, dzitsimikizireni nokha kuti mugwiritse ntchito luso lokonza pogwiritsa ntchito malangizowo asanu; ubale wanu zikomo.
1. Onetsani Kumvetsetsa Komwe Mnzanu Amayankhira Potsutsana
Tonse tili ndi mitundu yosiyanasiyana yolumikizana yomwe imakhalapo m'moyo wathu, zomwe zimatipangitsa kuyankha mosagwirizana. Kwa ena, mkangano ukabuka m'banja amakhala ndi chidwi chokhala okha ndi kupatukana. Komabe ena ali ndi chikhumbo champhamvu choyandikira kwakuthupi kuti athandize kuthana ndi nkhawa zomwe zimayambitsa. Kumvetsetsa mayankho amkati mwa mnzanu pamikangano ndikothandiza pantchito yokonza yomwe ikukwaniritsa zosowa za mnzanu. Izi zimaperekanso mwayi wonyengerera ndikuyamba kukonzanso mlatho kuti ugwirizanenso ndi zibwenzi pambuyo pa mkangano. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mnzake ali ndi yankho loti alandire danga pomwe winayo akufuna kuyandikira, mungamayesetse bwanji kukwaniritsa zolinga zonsezo monga abwenzi? Mwina mumakhala chete mwakachetechete pambuyo pa mikangano kuti mukwaniritse zosowa zakuthupi, kwinaku mukulemekeza kufunika kounikira kwamkati mwakachetechete. Kapenanso mwasankha kupereka nthawi yomwe mumadzipatsa nthawi yopuma musanayang'ane kuti mudzabwererenso kukakonza. Kuzindikira mayankho achibadwa pambuyo pamkangano ndikofunikira pantchito yokonzanso chifukwa tiyenera kukhala m'malo kuti tilandire zokonzanso.
2. Lankhulani ndi uthenga wathunthu womwe wachotsedwa
Kupepesa kukangolekezera pazomwe zidapangitsa kuti mkanganowo kapena kukhumudwitsana, kutsimikizika kochepa kumaperekedwa pazomwe ena adakumana nazo. Mwachitsanzo, nthawi zambiri sikuti munachedwa kudya, kapena zilizonse zomwe zingakhalepo, koma chifukwa choti munachedwa kudya mnzanuyo anachotsa uthenga wokhudza kuchedwa kwanu kumatanthauza za mnzanu komanso / kapena ubale. Mauthenga ngati awa amatha kumveka ngati, "Mukachedwa kudya, zimandipangitsa kumva kuti ndine wopanda pake." Ngati tingathe kumvetsetsa uthenga womwe wachotsedwa pazomwe zidayambitsa kukhumudwitsana ndi kusamvana, titha kukwaniritsa zosowa za mnzathu polankhula mwachindunji ndi uthengawo. "Pepani chifukwa chachedwa," ndi mawu ochepa poyerekeza ndi "Pepani chifukwa chokupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu opanda pake." Ngakhale zili bwino, tsatirani mawu okonzanso ndi uthenga womwe mungafune kuti mnzanuyo agwire. Mwachitsanzo, "Sindikufuna kuti ndikupangitseni kumva kuti ndinu opanda pake, ndimakukondani komanso ndimakusamalirani."
3. Perekani chitsimikiziro ndi kutsimikizika
Sitiyenera kusankha momwe mnzathu akumvera kapena zokumana nazo, komanso mosiyana. Chimodzi mwa ntchito zokonzanso pakati pa maubale ndikupeza kumvetsetsa. Kuvomereza momwe zinthu zinachitikira kapena kusamvana kumachitika ndikofunikira kuposa kupeza maziko achikondi ndi achifundo pambuyo pazochitikazo. Ngakhale mwina mwakhala mukukumana ndi vuto mosiyana, lemekezani ndikutsimikizira kuti zokumana nazo za mnzanuyo ndizowona kwa iwo. Munthu akamva ngakhale kuyesa kumvetsetsa, pamakhala mwayi woti atenge nawo gawo kuti athetse zosokoneza muubwenzi ndiubwenzi wapamtima.
4. Mawu anu okonzekera ndi osiyana ndi momwe zinthu ziliri pano
Chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe zimabwera ndikungonena kuti "Pepani" kapena mawu ena aliwonse omwe amakhala ofala muubwenzi, ndikuti, mwaubwinobwino, timayamba kuziona ngati zopanda ulemu komanso kuyesa kusangalatsa m'malo molera. Mukamatha kuwonetsa kumvetsetsa zomwe mnzanuyo wakumana nazo pakumenyana, mumatha kuwonetsa chisamaliro, ndikulakalaka kulimbitsa ubale. Makamaka muubwenzi wanthawi yayitali, mitu imatuluka m'mauthenga oyambira omwe anzawo amakhala nawo potenga mikangano ina. Ngakhale chidziwitsochi chitha kukhala chothandiza, chitha kuchititsanso kuti munthu asamanyalanyaze ndikuwonongeka pakumveketsa mawu okonzanso. Ngakhale kuti mikangano imamveka bwino, izi zikuchitika tsopano. Wokondedwa wanu amangodziwa zochita zanu, osati cholinga chochitira izi, motero mawu otchulidwa ndi ofunika, makamaka ngati chibwenzi chimapitilira pakapita nthawi. Sankhani mawu omwe angatanthauze kusamvana komwe kukuchitika kuti mukwaniritse zosowa zomwe zili pachibwenzi chanu.
5. Zokonza ziyenera kukhala zochitika nthawi zonse
Ubale ungafanane ndi kuvina. Zimatengera nthawi ndikuyeseza kuphunzira mnzanuyo ndi momwe amasunthira ndikugwirira ntchito, ndipo pali luso lopeza mayendedwe anu ngati gulu. Ichi ndichifukwa chake ntchito yokonza moyenera mu maubale sichingakhale chinthu chosowa komanso chosakhalitsa. Zimatengera nthawi, kufunsa mafunso, ndi kuyeseza kuphunzira za mnzanu ndikupeza mawu anu momwe mungachitire ntchito yokonzanso. Momwemonso, kukonzanso kumatha kuchitika pakasokonekera konse pamitundu yolumikizira, kaya zikuwoneka ngati nkhondo yayikulu kapena mnzanu akumverera kuti sanalumikizane chifukwa chatsiku loipa kuntchito. Ntchito yokonza imapereka mauthenga kuti ndinu ofunikira, ndipo ubalewo ndiofunika. Awa ndi mauthenga omwe amayenera kuperekedwa mobwerezabwereza ndikulandila zolumikizira zabwino, zomwe zimabweretsa ubale wabwino.