Zamkati
- 1. Lumikizanani molumikizana m'malo moyang'anira:
- 2. Vumbulani zomwe zikuchitika kwa inu:
- 3. Khalani ndi chidwi:
"Muyenera kukonda m'njira yoti munthu amene mumamukonda azimasuka" -Thich Nhat Hanh
Ndikukhulupirira kuti tonsefe timalakalaka kukondana kwambiri. Ndikukhulupiliranso kuti tili ndi mantha pachiwopsezo chomwe chimafunikira kuti tikhale ndi zotere muubwenzi wathu.
Kuyendetsa mosazindikira komwe kumatiteteza ku chiopsezo kumabwera chifukwa cha kuwopa kuweruzidwa, kuopa kukanidwa, kuopa kunyozedwa, komanso pamlingo wakuya kwambiri - kuopa kufa. "Ngati simukundikonda ndikundinyenga, nditha kufa," kapena "Ndikakulolani kuti mufere ndipo simufa, sindidzapulumuka konseko," ndi mantha akulu awiri omwe amatha kuyendetsa zolinga za anthu, zikhumbo zawo, ndi malingaliro pamaubwenzi azikhalidwe komanso ubale.
Chifukwa palibe chitsimikizo chakuti mnzanuyo sangakusiyeni ngati muulula zowona zanu. Anthu mosadziwa amadzisunga m'bokosi kuti asangalatse anzawo. Bokosi ili silimangokhala pakukula kwanu komanso chisinthiko, ndikuyesera kuthana ndiubwenzi womwe mukufuna. Mukabisa chowonadi chanu, tsutsani mnzanu (ngakhale ngati "nthabwala"), perekani mwachidaliro kapena mkhalidwe, pewani kuthandizidwa, osasintha malingaliro anu, yesetsani kukhala munthu amene mukuganiza kuti wokondedwa wanu akufuna, ndipo / kapena samayankha kupweteka kwa mnzanu, zosowa zake, ndi zokhumba zake, mukuyesera kuwongolera ubale wanu kuti mudziteteze ku chiopsezo.
Mbali ina yaulamuliro uwu ndikuyerekeza. Mukagwiritsitsa malingaliro anu a mnzanu, momwe mukufuna kuti zinthu zikuyendereni bwino, kapena momwe mumaganizira kuti moyo wanu ukhalira limodzi, mukuyesera kuwongolera banja lanu m'malo moziwona. Ubale wanu ndiwakuya kwambiri, wosinthika, komanso wamadzimadzi ndiye malingaliro okhwima omwe timakhala nawo za ife eni, ena, komanso moyo weniweniwo.
Timauzidwa kuti chomangira chaukwati chizikhala chosasweka, kuti 50% omwe amathetsa banja alephera ndikuti omwe amakhala limodzi ndichopambana. Timauzidwa kuti ngati banja tikhala ndiubwenzi wolimba womwe ungathe nthawi yayitali ndipo tidzakhala okhutira kwathunthu muubwenzi wathu ndi munthu amene timusankha kukhala mnzathu m'moyo wathu. Ndipo timabwera limodzi, anthu awiri olakwitsa, ambiri a ife tili ndi zilonda zophatikizika kuyambira ubwana (mwangozi, 47% ya ife tili ndi zilonda zomata, zomwe zikufanana ndi kuchuluka kwa chisudzulo), tikufuna kupanga china chomwe timaopa kwambiri Tsegulani kwenikweni kwa.
Poyesa kudzimva otetezeka, timamamatira kwa munthu m'modzi monga munthu wathu, ndipo timayesetsa kumulamulira iyeyo komanso wamphamvu muubwenzi. Chifukwa cha kusakhazikika kwa maubale amunthu, kupanda pake komwe timamva kumalipidwa poyesa kupeza malo, kuyesa kupeza kukhazikika.
Ichi ndichifukwa chake ndimati ukwati ndi chinyengo: Chifukwa nkhani yomwe tagulitsidwa yokhudza banja imatiuza kuti timapeza chitetezo kuchokera kwa mnzathu, kuti tikhala ndi moyo limodzi womwe ungapirire zovuta, ndikuti ngati tikhalira limodzi tili opambana . Nkhaniyi siyikuphatikiza kusinthika kwa kuzindikira kwathu, kuchiritsa mabala athu, kapena kusakhazikika kwa moyo ndi ubale.
Anthu awiri akakhala pabanja akudzipereka kwambiri kusunga moyo wawo kwa moyo wawo wonse amakhala otseguka pakukula ndi kusintha, koma chikondi chitha kuzamiririka. Kusintha malembedwe akale kuti "Mpaka imfa itatilekanitse" kukhala "Tidzawona zomwe zimachitika tikamakula ndikusintha limodzi," ndi gawo lomwe ambiri amawopa kulikumbatira. Komabe, ndikukupemphani kuti muganizire kuthekera kwakuti mukatuluka kunja kwa bokosi lanu ndikusiya kuyika mnzanu m'bokosi ndiye kuti mutha kukumana ndi kulumikizana komwe mwakhala mukukufuna pamoyo wanu wonse.
Nthawi iliyonse tikamadalira kwambiri munthu wina kuti tikhale okhazikika, timalimbikitsidwa kuti dziko lathu lidzagwedezeka posachedwa. Kuyang'ana kwa wina kuti mutetezeke kumakhulupirira kuti ndinu ogawanika kapena osadzilemekeza. Ngati mukugwa mozungulira ulamuliro wanu ndi thanzi lanu, kuyesera kudziletsa, mnzanu, ndi mphamvu zanu, pamapeto pake mumayiwala kukula kwanu, chisinthiko, ndi thanzi lanu ndikusiya kuwona mnzanu kupyola zomwe mukuyembekezera komanso zosowa zanu.
Zingakhale bwanji kukumana wina ndi mzake kuchokera ku uthunthu wanu, kuti mugwirizane ndi kudziyimira nokha kotero kuti muli ndi chowonadi chanu ndichodzipereka nokha? Zingakhale bwanji kupereka chowonadi chanu ndi umwini ndi chisamaliro, osayesa kuyang'anira momwe zimakhalira mu mzake? Zingamveke bwanji kuti mungayime malo anu opatulika, osagwa kapena kudzikuza, ndikukhala otseguka pachiwopsezo chanu?
Kukula motere m'banja mwanu kumafunikira kulimba mtima, chitetezo, komanso kuzindikira kwakukulu. Nazi maluso atatu omwe muyenera kukulitsa kuti mulumikizane kwambiri muubwenzi wanu:
1. Lumikizanani molumikizana m'malo moyang'anira:
Kukhala ndi cholinga choti mawu anu azilumikizana m'malo mopweteka ndi gawo loyamba pakupanga chibwenzi. Mawu anu ndiamphamvu kwambiri: Atha kuphwasulana kapena kuuzana. Amatha kusunga khoma pakati panu kapena kukutsegulani komanso kulumikizana. Amatha kuopseza kapena kukulitsa chikhalidwe chachitetezo.
Ngakhale mutakhala kuti mukufuna china chake chothandiza, kufunsa m'njira yomwe ingakupangitseni kuti muzimva kulumikizana kwambiri komanso kuti simukhala ngati mukufuna kapena kulamula kumatha kusintha mozama ubale wanu pakapita nthawi. Nthawi zambiri ndimati kwa mabanja omwe ndimagwira nawo ntchito "Mukamalimbana ndi mbale, sizakudya." Izi zikutanthauza kuti ngati mwakhumudwitsidwa ndi wokondedwa wanu chifukwa chosapereka zambiri, kuyendetsa nyumba, kapena kudziikira kumbuyo za momwe mumaperekera nyumba, mukuyesera kuwongolera momwe munthu winayo amakhalira.
Ngati mwaphatikizidwa ndi zotsatira zakulankhulana, kutanthauza kuti mukulankhula kena kake kuti mnzanu awone malingaliro anu kapena kuti achite zomwe mukufuna, ndiye kuti mukuyesa kuwongolera mnzanu. Kunena zowonekeratu, palibe amene amakonda kuuzidwa choti achite komanso kuwerengera omwe achita izi, izi sizikupangitsani kuti muzimva kulumikizana.
Pa mitu yambiri, monga mkangano wosatha kapena kuti mwakhala mukusunga mkwiyo ndi umboni motsutsana ndi mnzanuyo kwanthawi yayitali, mwina mutha kudziwika ndi nkhani yanu ndikukhulupirira kuti muli ndi chowonadi cha zomwe zidachitika kapena zomwe zidali kupitiriza ndi mnzako. Ngati mumalumikizana kuchokera pano, mukuwona momwe zinthu ziliri kuchokera pazowonera zochepa ndipo mosakayikira zidzakutayitsani kulumikizano ndi yankho. Masulani nkhani yanu ndipo kumbukirani kuti nonse mumathandizira kuti mukhale ndi ubale wabwino. Bwererani ku cholinga chanu cholumikizira, kukumbukira kuti nonse mukufuna kumva kuti mwayandikira kulankhulana. Lolani mawu anu kukulitsa chibwenzi chomwe mukufuna. Mwina ichi ndiye chinthu chovuta kwambiri.
2. Vumbulani zomwe zikuchitika kwa inu:
Mukamalumikizana kuti mulumikizane, chinthu cholumikizira kwambiri chomwe mungachite ndikugawana ndi mnzanu zomwe zikuchitika ndi inu. Luso lowulula zomwe mwakumana nalo ndi lomwe liyenera kuchitidwa ndikulimbikitsidwa pakapita nthawi. Ngakhale ndizosavuta kwa ena kuposa ena, sitimayankhula chilankhulo chomwe chimavumbula zamkati mwathu kwa iwo omwe atizungulira.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati mnzanga andifunsa chifukwa chomwe ndimagwirira ntchito kwambiri, ndimatha kudzitchinjiriza ndikusunga nkhani yachiweruzo ndi manyazi popanda kuwulula mozama. Ngati m'malo mwake mnzanga akuti, "Ndimasungulumwa ndipo ndili ndichisoni chifukwa chakuwonani pang'ono. Posachedwa, mukuwoneka kuti mukugwira ntchito zambiri, ndipo ndikudabwa ngati mukundipewa, ”ndikuwona mozama za dziko la mnzanga komanso zomwe zikuyambitsa nkhaniyi kuti ndimagwira ntchito mopitirira muyeso. Ngati njira yoyamba (yopanda kuwululira) yanenedwa ndipo ndimayigwira pomwe ndikuchita china chake cholakwika, timamva kuti sitimalumikizana, zomwe sizomwe mnzanga akufuna. Ngati njira yachiwiri (ndikuwulula) iperekedwa, ndikudziwa kuti wokondedwa wanga akufuna nthawi yambiri ndi ine komanso amafuna kuti ndizimvetsera.
Nzeru zam'mutu komansoubwenzi wapamtima ndiye maziko mabwenzi onse opambana. Mukalola mnzanu kuwona zamkati mwanu ndi chilankhulo chanu, mukukhala osatetezeka m'njira yomwe imalemekeza kulumikizana kwanu ndi mnzanu.
Vumbulutsani chilankhulo chimamvekera, kenako ndikufotokozera. Malongosoledwewo amafotokozedwa nthawi zonse mchilankhulo chomwe chimakhala ndi umwini pazomwe mukukumana nazo. Mwachitsanzo, musanene kuti “Ndakhumudwa nanu chifukwa simumandibisalira usiku” kapena “Mumandikwiyitsa nthawi iliyonse mukayang'ana foni yanu pabedi mmalo mondibisalira.” Chimodzi mwaziganizo ziwirizi ndikulingalira kuti ngati munthu winayo achita mwanjira inayake, mungakhale bwino. Palibe umwini mmenemo.
M'malo mwake, nenani kuti, "Ndimakhumudwa chifukwa ndikufuna kuti ndizigwiridwa ndisanagone, ndipo ndikumva kuti mumakonda kwambiri foni yanu kuposa kukhala nane." Chilankhulo chomwe chili pano ndichokukhumudwitsani kwanu monga kwanu, komanso chimasunganso nkhani yanu ngati yanu. Izi zimapereka chidziwitso kuzowona zanu zenizeni ndikulola mnzanu kulowa mkati mwanu.
3. Khalani ndi chidwi:
Pamene anthu ayamba kukhumudwa, amatha kulowa munjira yotetezedwa. Mnzanu akabwera kudzakufotokozerani momwe akumvera kukhumudwa ndi zomwe munena kapena kuchita, mungayesere kuwafotokozera, kuwauza momwe alakwitsira, kapena kutulutsa mndandanda wautali wamomwe akukhumudwitsani. Izi zimatipangitsa kuti tisakhale pachiwopsezo komanso kukhala pachibwenzi.
Mukadziteteza kwa mnzanu, mumasiya kukhala ndi chidwi ndi zomwe akukumana nazo ndipo mumakhala cholepheretsa kulumikizana kwanu. Ngakhale zingaoneke zovuta, yesetsani kukhala otseguka kulumikizana ndikukhala pachiwopsezo chanu chifukwa cha chidwi chanu.
“Zikumveka kuti mwandikwiyira chifukwa chouza amayi anu kuti mudzabwera kudzawagwirira ntchito pabwalo. Ndiuzeni zambiri ... ”
Ganizirani zomwe mudamva, tchulani, ndikufunsa ngati pali china chilichonse chomwe chingapititse patsogolo kulumikizana pakati pamkangano. Izi zimafunikira kuzindikira kwapamwamba, kudzipereka kulumikizano, ndi malamulo kuti azikhala pazokambirana zamtunduwu wina ndi mnzake. Mukamakula ndikukula limodzi, kulumikizana kwamtunduwu kumalowetsa kukhwimitsa ndi kuuma mtima ndikusintha kwamadzi.