"Ukwati wabwino ungakhale wotsika mtengo, koma ukwati wabwino ndi wamtengo wapatali" ~ David Jeremiah ~
Kodi n'chiyani chimapangitsa ukwati kukhala wabwino?
Akatswiri a zamaganizidwe, ma psychotherapists, ophunzitsa maukwati, mabuku azodzithandiza ndi ena amachita zonse zomwe angathe kuti afotokozere zomwe zimapangitsa banja kukhala labwino komanso momwe mungasungire chikondi m'banja mwanu ndikupangitsa kuti chikondi chikhale chokhazikika. Komabe, kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti ngakhale pali zothandizira komanso zolemba ndi upangiri kuchokera kumakalata azithandizo ndi zina zotero, kusudzulana kuli ponseponse mderalo. Maukwati akusweka tsiku ndi tsiku ndipo wina amakakamizidwa kusinkhasinkha, chikuchitika ndi chiyani?
Kodi chikuchitika ndi chiyani m'banja?
Ndikutsimikiza kuti pali zifukwa zingapo zomwe mabanja akusokonekera koma ndaona ndipo ndikuganiza chimodzi mwazifukwa zazikulu zomwe maukwati akusokonekera ndichakuti monga china chilichonse chakhala malonda. Osati zokhazo, komanso yakhalanso mpikisano wa yemwe angakhale ndi ukwati waukulu komanso wabwino kwambiri. Osati anthu ambiri amatenga nthawi kuti aganizire za chifukwa chake akukwatirana komanso mtundu wanji waukwati womwe angafune kukhala nawo.
Vuto ndiloti m'masiku ano tikukhala ndi ndalama zochuluka kwambiri komanso nthawi yochuluka pokonzekera ukwati zomwe sitigwiritsa ntchito nthawi ndi ndalama pofufuza zomwe zidzachitike pangani banja labwino komanso momwe tingachitire khalani banja labwino. Kudzera mukugulitsa maukwati, tapangidwa kuti tizikhulupirira kuti chikondi ndi chokhacho chomwe mungafune kuti muthandizire banja, koma izi sizowona. Palibe cholakwika ndi chikondi, ndi poyambira, koma sizomwe zimafunikira kuti ukwati ukhalebe ndipo banja lililonse lomwe ladzetsa chikondi chokha liyenera kulephera.
Pamodzi ndi chikondi, zoyenera komanso malingaliro ndizofunikira kwambiri m'banja
Zikuwoneka kwa ine kuti anthu samakhala ndi nthawi yokwanira kuti ayang'ane pazinthu zomwe zimawakhudza komanso ngati amagawana zomwezo ndi okwatirana kapena ayi. Amayang'ana kwambiri zozimitsa moto zomwe zimakhalapo pachiyambi cha chibwenzi koma posakhalitsa zimadzakhala zina.
Hollywood yatitsimikizira kuti zozimitsa moto ndi chemistry ndizofunikira kwambiri, komabe zozimitsa moto komanso zamagetsi zimachepa ndikupereka njira zina zomwe sizinafotokozedwe.
Tengani ndalama mwachitsanzo, kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti mavuto azachuma ndi omwe amachititsa mavuto ambiri m'banja. Nthawi zambiri, izi zimachitika chifukwa anthu ambiri samakhala ndi nthawi yolankhula za ndalama komanso momwe adzagwirire ntchito akadzakwatirana. M'malo mwake amawononga nthawi ndi ndalama paukwati womwe uli koma kwa maola ochepa kuposa ukwati womwe (ungakhale) wa moyo wonse.
Cholinga choyambirira chaukwati
Ponena za malingaliro, chochitika chomvetsa chisoni ndichakuti ambiri adachititsidwa khungu ndikuiwala cholinga choyambirira chaukwati. Ukwati sindiwo malo omwe amapangidwira kuti mudzipindulire nokha, koma ndi maziko opangira cholinga, kutumikira Mulungu ndi mnzanu. Ndi pantchito iyi yomwe mumapeza. Koma ndaona kuti ambiri amalowa muukwati ali ndi "zomwe zili ndi ine?" malingaliro. Ndizodziwika kuti ubale uliwonse womwe mumayembekezera kulandira m'malo mongopereka, umaperewera.
Banja likamalowa ndi "ndizotheka chiyani?" malingaliro, zotsatira zake ndizosunga zambiri. Mukuyamba kuganiza, ndidachita izi ndiye ayenera kutero. Zimangokhala za inu ndi zomwe mungatulukemo ndipo ngati simukupeza zomwe mukufuna, muyenera kuyamba kuziyang'ana kwina. Kusunga mphambu sikumatha bwino ndipo ukwati suli wa yemwe amachita zomwe, liti.
Kotero, izi ndi zomwe ndikuganiza:
- Nanga bwanji ngati tayamba kugwiritsa ntchito ndalama zochepa patsiku laukwati ndikuyang'ana kwambiri zaukwati?
- Nanga bwanji ngati talowa m'banja tili ndi mtima wofuna "kutumikira ndi kutumikira" osati "kusunga zambiri"?
- Bwanji ngati tizingoyang'ana pamakhalidwe omwe timagawana ndikukhazikitsa maziko olimba m'malo mozimitsa moto ndi chemistry?
- Nanga bwanji tikayamba ulendo waukwati, timayenda ulendowu ndi cholinga chopatsa ndi kupatsa tokha?
Tangoganizirani zisangalalo zomwe zingakhalepo, ndipo ndikukhulupirira kuti izi zitha kukhala poyambira pakupanga banja labwino!