Zamkati
- 1. Kumangirira
- 2. Chilango
- 3. Kubisa chikondi, kugonana, komanso ubale wanu
- 4. Kusowa mtendere m'maganizo komanso kudzipatula
- 5. Khalidwe lolamulira
- Nthawi yoti muchokere pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika
- Momwe mungachepetsere nkhawa mukakhala pachibwenzi
Kuda nkhawa pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika ndikumenya kowawa m'matumbo pazomwe zimachitika kale. Kaya ndinu amene muli pachibwenzi kapena amene mumachitiridwa zachinyengo, kusakhulupirika kumabweretsa mavuto kwa aliyense.
Ndipo mwatsoka, nkhawa komanso kupyola muyeso zimayendera limodzi.
Kaya zinali zachikondi kapena zakuthupi, kukhala munthawi iyi ya ndalama ndikutopetsa. Osanenapo zopweteka, zotopetsa, ndi zina zambiri zosasangalatsa!
Mutha kuganiza kuti mwadzipusitsa, koma chowonadi chimakhala ndi nkhawa pambuyo poti kusakhulupirika kwafala kwambiri ndipo kumatha kwakanthawi.
Werengani kuti mudziwe momwe mungapewere kunyengedwa, ndikukhala limodzi. Chofunika koposa, dziwani momwe mungathetsere kusakhulupirika.
Kodi nkhawa ndi momwe zimakhudzira ubongo wanu
Ndiwe munthu wamphamvu, ungaganize choncho; nthawi zambiri mumamva ngati mutha kuthana ndi chilichonse. Mutha kuthana ndi nkhawa pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika mutangomaliza malingaliro anu pazomwe zidachitika komanso komwe nkhawa zimachokera.
Kuyambiranso kunyengedwa m'banja kumatha kubweretsa kupsinjika kwakanthawi, komwe kumayambitsa timadzi totchedwa cortisol. Cortisol imayambitsa kusokonezeka kwamaganizidwe muubongo wanu ndipo nthawi zambiri imatha kubweretsa kukhumudwa komanso kuda nkhawa.
Kupsinjika kwakanthawi komanso nkhawa zimakhudza thanzi lanu komanso thanzi lanu. Nkhawa imatha kukusiyirani matenda ndi matenda ndikupangitsa thupi lanu kukhala lotopa.
Kukhala ndi nkhawa pang'ono pambuyo pa chigololo ndikwabwino koma osalankhula zotere ndikumva kuwawa kwa kusakhulupirika kumatha kuwachulukitsa, zomwe zimadzetsa mavuto ena kwanthawi yayitali.
Zotsatira zoyipa za nkhawa pambuyo pa chibwenzi
Kuda nkhawa chifukwa chobera mnzanu siwonso wamba. Itha kuyambitsa:
- chizungulire
- mutu
- mantha
- mantha
- kuvuta kupuma
- kuvuta kugona
- kugunda kwa mtima
Kuda nkhawa kwaubwenzi kumatha kuchitika pazifukwa izi:
- Inu kapena mnzanu mwaphwanya ubale wokhulupirika kudzera pachibwenzi
- Kulimbana kosalekeza pazinthu wamba komanso zovuta
- Kupsinjika chifukwa chantchito kapena zochitika pabanja
- Kuchulukitsa matenda ndi nkhawa zathanzi
- Kusasamala ndi kuwongolera machitidwe
Zotsatirazi ndi zina mwazimene mungakumane nazo chifukwa cha nkhawa mukakhala osakhulupirika:
1. Kumangirira
Mukayamba kuda nkhawa za tsogolo la ubale wanu, zomwe mumachita ndikumamatira pazomwe mukukhulupirira kuti mukutaya. Poterepa, ameneyo ndi mnzanu.
Chifukwa chake, kunyengedwa kumasintha bwanji?
Ngati mwasankha kukhala ndi wokondedwa wanu pambuyo poti kusakhulupirika kwachitika, mungamve kuti ndinu okondana nawo kwambiri kuwopa kuti angakupwetekeninso. Chojambulirachi chimachokera ku nkhawa pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika kumabweretsa chibwenzi chomwe chimakupangitsani kumva kuti mulibe mphamvu.
Kumamatira kumayanjananso ndi kutaya ufulu wanu, nsanje, komanso kusowa chitetezo. Kusakhulupirika kwanthawi yayitali kumakhudza mnzake mpaka pomwe angayambe kukayikira zomwe akuchita.
Kumbali inayi, liwongo la mnzanu atabera lingawachititsenso kuti azichita zinthu zokakamira zomwe angadzanong'oneze nazo mtsogolo.
2. Chilango
Kuyankha kwanu kwachisoni mukamachita chibwenzi kungaphatikizepo njira ziwiri zakulangira. Choyamba, mungafune kulanga mnzanu chifukwa chakukhumudwitsani komanso kuwononga zomwe mumakhulupirira.
Izi zitha kudziwonekera pogwiritsa ntchito mawu amwano, kuwononga moyo wawo wapagulu kapena ukadaulo, kapena kuwabera mosasamala kanthu.
Kuphatikiza pa izi, mungafune kudzilanga nokha chifukwa chololeza izi kuchitika, chifukwa chosawona zizindikiro za chibwenzi kale, kapena chifukwa chokhala pachibwenzi. Mwanjira iyi, kuda nkhawa pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika kumatha kudziwonetsera mikhalidwe yodziwononga monga kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kudya mopitirira muyeso, komanso kudziwononga.
3. Kubisa chikondi, kugonana, komanso ubale wanu
Wokondedwa akakhala wosakhulupirika, zimatha kukupangitsani kumva ngati kuti mwasowa ulamuliro m'moyo wanu. Njira imodzi yomwe mungamve kuti mutha kubweza mphamvu ndikubisira mnzanuyo.
Izi zitha kutanthauza kuti mukubisa chikondi, kudalira, kugonana, komanso zambiri zokhudzana ndi moyo wanu, kapena mwina mukulephera kuthekera kosungitsa ubale wanu ngati njira yolangira.
Mosasamala kanthu za momwe mumachitira izi, mungaone kuti poletsa wokondedwa wanu, mudziteteza kuti musakhumudwe. Kuopa kunamizidwanso kulipo, ndipo mutha kuyamba kudzipweteka nokha.
4. Kusowa mtendere m'maganizo komanso kudzipatula
Kumva ngati wakuphimbidwa ndi munthu amene mumamukonda kwambiri kumatha kukhala ndi vuto lam'maganizo mwanu. Izi zitha kubweretsa kusakhazikika m'maganizo kapena dzanzi.
Ena amakumana ndi nkhawa, kusowa mtendere, komanso kudandaula chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika kotero kuti akatswiri ena amisala akugwiritsa ntchito njira zoperekera upangiri kwa odwala omwe ali ndi PTSD (kapena matenda osakhulupirika chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika) kwa maanja omwe akukumana ndi nkhawa atakhala osakhulupirika m'mabanja awo.
Mutha kudabwa, kodi kulakwa kwachinyengo kumatha?
Ndipo ngati zingatero, mungathane bwanji ndi kusakhulupirika ndikukhala limodzi? Kodi mungasunthe bwanji kuti musaberetsedwe?
Kuyesera kupulumutsa banja lanu mutachita chibwenzi ngati mnzake akufunanso kuchita zomwezo ndichinthu choyenera kuchita, ngakhale zingaoneke zovuta.
Khalani ndi kukambirana momasuka za izo, ndipo ngati zafika povuta paliponse, funsani aphungu aukwati pamodzi. Koma ngati mukufuna kudziwa momwe mungasiyire kukhala osatetezeka mukabwerezedwa, yankho lake ndi losavuta.
Ziribe kanthu zomwe wauzidwa, dzidalire. Mnzanuyo anasankha kubera mayeso m'malo mothetsa mavuto aubwenzi. Si vuto lanu. Nkhawa za m'banja pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika ndi zachilendo, koma musalole kuti zifike kwa inu.
Onerani vidiyo yolimbikitsa iyi poganizira za kusakhulupirika.
5. Khalidwe lolamulira
Pamene anthu akumva kukhala osatetezeka, amatha kuyesa kuwongolera anzawo. Ngati mukukhala ndi mnzanu mutachita chibwenzi, atha kukhala anu olamulira.
Ili ndi gawo lina la nkhawa pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika. Mutha kufunsa mnzanu kuti akupatseni mwayi wopeza foni ndi zida zina. Mudzafunika kudziwa komwe ali nthawi zonse ndipo mwina mumatha kubera pambuyo pobera nkhawa ngati zosowa zanu sizikukwaniritsidwa.
Kukhala ndi chiwongolero chokwanira chaubwenzi wanu kumatha kumasuka, koma kumakhala kotopetsa komanso kumangothandiza kukayikirana nthawi zonse.
Zotsatira zamaganizidwe a mnzanu wonyenga zitha kukhala zopweteka, ndipo kuchita nawo izi kumangodzetsa nkhawa pambuyo poti kusakhulupirika kwachitika.
Nthawi yoti muchokere pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika
Kudzudzula kwanthawi zonse, kuwopseza kwamaganizidwe, kugwiritsa ntchito kulakwa nthawi zonse ngati chida, kufuna kuwulura mosasinthasintha, ndikuchepetsa moyo wocheza ndi mnzanu zitha kumveka zowoneka bwino. Ndipo mwina ali panthawiyi.
Koma pamapeto pake, uyenera kubwerera kumalo komwe mungachiritse ubale wanu popanda kuganiza nthawi zonse kuti mnzanuyo ali ndi mlandu mpaka atatsimikizika kuti alibe mlandu.
Ngati simungathe kuchita izi, simuyenera kukhalanso pachibwenzi ndi munthuyu chifukwa palibe chifukwa chotaya malingaliro anu chifukwa cha nkhawa pambuyo poti munthu wina wachita chigololo. Ndipo zilibe chifukwa chokhala ndi ubale womwe sukhalitsa kuchiritso ndi kuyanjananso.
Momwe mungachepetsere nkhawa mukakhala pachibwenzi
Kodi mungachiritse bwanji mukanamizidwa?
Si sitepe yomwe mungatenge tsiku limodzi. Kusankha kukhululukira wina, kaya mukhale nawo kapena ayi, ndi chisankho chomwe mumapanga tsiku lililonse.
Uphungu umalimbikitsidwa kwambiri kwa anthu omwe amakhala limodzi atakhala pachibwenzi. Ngati simulinso ndi mnzanu wonyenga, funani chithandizo chazokha kuti muthane ndi zovuta komanso nkhawa zomwe mwatsala nazo.
Mutha kudabwa kuti zimatenga nthawi yayitali bwanji kuti muthane ndi kusakhulupirika, koma yankho lake limadalira momwe mumadzilolera kuchira komanso momwe mnzake amagwirizanira ndi izi. Izi zimakhudza kwambiri kusakhulupirika kwa mabanja.
Ngakhale kuda nkhawa pambuyo pa chibwenzi ndikwabwinobwino, sizitanthauza kuti zimamveka bwino kapena zimakuthandizani kuti muchepetse ululu womwe mwakumana nawo. Kupeza upangiri, makamaka ngati mwasankha kukhalabe ndi mnzanuyo, ndiye njira yabwino yothanirana ndi nkhawa yayitali pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika.
Njira zina zothanirana ndi nkhawa zomwe mwakumana nazo ndi kutenga zosangalatsa zatsopano, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, kukhala ndi anthu abwino, ndikupitilizabe kuyembekezera ndikupanga mapulani amtsogolo mwanu ngati njira imodzi yothanirana ndi osakhulupirika. Izi zidzakuthandizani kuyembekezera ndi cholinga chabwino m'malingaliro.
Kodi chibwenzi chingabwerere mwakale pambuyo ponyenga? Izi, zimatengera zinthu zingapo. Chibwenzi chidasokonekera bwanji poyambira pomwe? Kodi akugwira ntchito yochuluka motani kuti abwezeretse ubale wawo mgulu?
Kwa ena, kuda nkhawa pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika sikumatha pomwe maanja ena amayesetsa kuti izi zitheke, tsiku limodzi.