Zamkati
- Mitundu yosakhulupirika
- Chifukwa chomwe okwatirana amabera
- Amene okwatirana amabera nawo
- Kodi kusakhulupirika ndichinyengo?
- Momwe mungapulumukire kusakhulupirika - ngati mukukhala limodzi
- Momwe mungapulumukire kusakhulupirika - ngati mukusweka
Ndi amodzi mwamawu oyipitsitsa omwe angafotokozedwe muukwati: chibwenzi. Anthu akavomera kukwatirana, amalonjezana kuti adzakhala okhulupirika kwa wina ndi mnzake. Nanga bwanji osakhulupirika m'banja afala kwambiri? Ndipo banja lingathe bwanji kupulumuka chigololo?
Kutengera ndi kafukufuku uti yemwe mumayang'ana komanso zomwe mumawona kuti ndizabwino, kwinakwake pakati pa 20 ndi 50% ya okwatirana omwe ali pabanja amavomereza kuti adachita chibwenzi kamodzi.
Kubera m'banja zimawononga banja, akupasula banja lomwe kale linali losangalala. Itha kuthetsa kusakhulupirika kenako, ndikukhudza onse owazungulira.
Ana, abale, ndi abwenzi amazindikira ndikutaya chiyembekezo chifukwa ubale womwe kale amaukonda uli ndi mavuto. Kodi izi zikutanthauza kuti maanja ena alibe chiyembekezo pankhani yakhalabe osakhulupirika m'banja?
Tiyeni tiwone mitundu yakusakhulupirika, chifukwa chiyani okwatirana amachita zachinyengo, komanso amacheza ndi ndani; kenako sankhani ngati zingatheke kupulumuka pachibwenzi. Mulimonsemo, kupulumuka chigololo m'banja kungakhale kovuta.
Onaninso:
Mitundu yosakhulupirika
Pali mitundu iwiri yakusakhulupirika: malingaliro ndi thupi.Ngakhale nthawi zina zimangokhala chimodzi kapena chimzake, palinso zosiyana pakati pa ziwirizi, ndipo nthawi zina zimakhudza zonse ziwiri.
Mwachitsanzo, mkazi atha kuuza mnzake wakuntchito zomwe akumugwadira, koma osapsompsona kapenanso kugona naye.
Mbali inayi, mwamunayo amatha kuchita zachiwerewere ndi mzake wamkazi, koma samamukonda.
Kafukufuku ku Yunivesite ya Chapman adawona kuti ndi mitundu yanji yakusakhulupirika yomwe imavutitsa aliyense. Zotsatira zawo zidatsimikiza kuti, Amuna akhoza kukhumudwitsidwa kwambiri ndi kusakhulupirika kwakuthupi, ndipo azimayi amakhumudwitsidwa kwambiri ndi kusakhulupirika m'maganizo.
Chifukwa chomwe okwatirana amabera
Kodi nchifukwa ninji adabera? Yankho la funsoli limasiyana mosiyanasiyana. M'malo mwake, ndi yankho payokha.
Yankho limodzi lodziwikiratu lingakhale kuti mnzakeyo sanakhutire kapena kuthupi mthupi mwawo, kapena panali vuto linalake m'banjamo, zomwe zimamupangitsa kuti amasungulumwa.
Komabe, pali okwatirana ambiri omwe ali, okhutitsidwa koma nthawi zonse amabera mayeso. Funso limodzi lalikulu kufunsa wokwatirana ndi uyu: Kodi mudalakwitsa chilichonse mukamabera?
Okwatirana ena amatha kusiyanitsa machitidwe awo mpaka kusawona zoipa. Pomwe chowonadi ndichakuti adaswa lumbiro laukwati, nthawi zina zenizeni zomwe anthu amasankha kukhulupirira zimawajambula monga wozunzidwayo, m'malo mozungulira.
Zifukwa zina zitha kukhala chizolowezi chogonana kapena kutengeredwa ndi munthu wina yemwe simunakwatirane naye, ndipo kuyeserako kumawakolera pakapita nthawi. Kuphatikiza apo, kunyengerera kumakhala kovuta kunyalanyaza.
Ena zimawavuta kugwera pachiyeso pansi pamavuto, ndipo ambiri amavomereza pazochitika zamalonda akakhala kutali ndi akazi awo, ndipo mwayi woti apeze ndi ochepa.
Kafukufuku wina watsimikizira kuti kusakhulupirika m'banja ndi komwe kumayambitsa. Malinga ndi kafukufuku wa Scientific American, amuna omwe anali ndi vasopressin amatha kukhala ndi diso loyendayenda.
Amene okwatirana amabera nawo
Kodi okwatirana amanyenga ndi alendo kapena anthu omwe amawadziwa? Malinga ndi Focus on the Family, mwina ndi anthu omwe amawadziwa kale. Atha kukhala ogwira nawo ntchito, abwenzi (ngakhale abwenzi okwatirana), kapena malawi akale omwe amalumikizananso nawo.
Facebook ndi nsanja zina zapaintaneti zimapangitsa kuti kulumikizana nawo kukhale kosavuta, ngakhale koyambirira kulumikizana kulibe mlandu.
Kafukufuku wa YouGov ku nyuzipepala ya The Sun ku Britain adatinso zabodza za okwatirana:
- 43% anali ndi chibwenzi ndi mnzake
- 38% anali ndi zibwenzi ndi wogwira naye ntchito
- 18% adachita chibwenzi ndi mlendo
- 12% anali ndi chibwenzi ndi wakale
- 8% anali ndi chibwenzi ndi mnansi, ndipo
- 3% anali ndi chibwenzi ndi wachibale wa mnzake.
Kodi kusakhulupirika ndichinyengo?
Funso ili ndilofunika kwambiri ndipo limafufuza zambiri za moyo. Malinga ndi ofufuza a Elizabeth Allen ndi David Atkins, mwa iwo omwe amakanena kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo wagonana ndi munthu wina kunja kwake, pafupifupi theka la maukwati atakwatiwa pambuyo pake achita chisudzulo.
Ena amati chibwenzicho chimachitika chifukwa cha nkhani zomwe zinali zitayamba kale kusudzulana, ndipo ena amati chibwenzicho ndi chomwe chimabweretsa chisudzulo. Mwanjira iliyonse, ofufuzawo akuti ngakhale theka litatha, theka amakhala limodzi.
Chimodzi mwazinthu zofunikira zomwe zimawoneka kuti zimakopa maanja ambiri kukhala limodzi atakwatirana ndi ngati pali ana. Kuthetsa banja pakati pa okwatirana opanda mwana ndizovuta pang'ono.
Koma pakakhala ana, okwatirana amakonda kulingalira zophwanya banja lonse, komanso chuma, m'malo mwa ana.
Pamapeto pake, 'kodi banja lingapulumuke pachibwenzi?' zimafikira pazomwe aliyense okwatirana angakhale nazo. Kodi mnzake wonyenga amakondabe munthu amene ali naye pabanja, kapena mtima wawo wasunthira patsogolo?
Kodi mwamuna kapena mkazi amene ananyengedwayo akufuna kuti asawonongetse ukwatiwo ndikupangitsa kuti banja likhalebe ndi moyo? Zili kwa munthu aliyense kuti ayankhe yekha.
Momwe mungapulumukire kusakhulupirika - ngati mukukhala limodzi
Ngati inu ndi mnzanu mwaganiza zokhalira limodzi ngakhale kuti simunakhulupirire, chinthu choyamba muyenera kuchita ndikuwona wothandizira maukwati ndipo mwina mungafunefune magulu osakhulupirika.
Kuwona limodzi kwa mlangizi - komanso padera - kungakuthandizeni kuthana ndi mavuto omwe angayambitse chibwenzi ndikuthandizani nonse kuthana ndi chibwenzi. Kumanganso ndi mawu ofunikira zaka zikubwerazi.
Mlangizi wabwino wamaukwati atha kukuthandizani kutero, njerwa ndi njerwa.
Chovuta chachikulu kuti athane ndikuti yemwe akuchita zachinyengoyo akhale ndiudindo wonse, komanso kuti mnzakeyo akhululukire kwathunthu.
Chifukwa chake kuyankha funso "kodi chibwenzi chimatha kupulumuka pachinyengo?" Sizingachitike mwadzidzidzi, koma okwatirana omwe ali odzipereka kwa wina ndi mnzake amatha kuzipitilira limodzi.
Momwe mungapulumukire kusakhulupirika - ngati mukusweka
Ngakhale mutasudzulana ndipo simukuwonanso mnzanu wakale, kusakhulupirika kukuyikiranibe nonse awiri. Makamaka maubale atsopano akabwera, kumbuyo kwamaganizidwe anu akhoza kukhala osadalira mnzanuyo kapena nokha.
Kulankhula ndi othandizira kungakuthandizeni kudziwa zam'mbuyomu komanso kukuthandizani kupita patsogolo kumgwirizano wabwino.
Tsoka ilo, palibe wand wamatsenga kuti aliyense atetezeke ku kusakhulupirika m'banja kalembedwe = "font-weight: 400;">. Zimachitika kwa okwatirana padziko lonse lapansi. Ngati zichitika kwa inu, yesetsani momwe mungathere, ndipo funani thandizo.
Simungathe kuwongolera zomwe mnzanu amachita, koma mutha kuwongolera momwe zingakhudzire moyo wanu wamtsogolo.