Zamkati
Kodi chinsinsi chofunikira kwambiri ndi chiyani posowa pachibwenzi, mdziko la maubale?
Anthu ambiri amafuna kupeza chikondi chakuya.
Ena akufuna kutenga ubale wawo wapano ndikupita kumalo ena odzipereka komanso osangalatsa.
Ndipo ena akuyesera kudziwa ngati zingatheke kupulumutsa ubale wawo wapano.
Ndiye zikusowa bwanji m'mikhalidwe yonseyi?
Kwa zaka 30 zapitazi, wolemba, wogulitsa, woyang'anira wamkulu kwambiri, Life Coach, komanso nduna David Essel akhala akuthandiza anthu ndi mabanja kumvetsetsa zomwe zimafunika kuti apange ubale wachikondi wosaneneka.
Pansipa, David amagawana malingaliro ake pa kiyi yemwe akusowa omwe tikangogwiritsa ntchito, zimapangitsa kuti ubale ukhale wosavuta.
Makiyi osowa
“Mukamaganizira za chikondi mumaganiza za chiyani?
Anthu ambiri amaganiza za zotengeka. Chilakolako. Ngakhale. Kulakalaka kapena Kugonana. Chidwi.
Ena atambasula izi ndikuphatikiza chifundo, kulumikizana, ndi zina zambiri.
Koma pakadalibe china chosowa pankhani yopanga ubale wabwino!
Ndipo kuti china chake chikusowa chidzakudabwitsani.
M'buku lathu latsopano logulitsa kwambiri, "Zinsinsi za chikondi ndi ubale ... Zomwe aliyense ayenera kudziwa!"
Ndikulankhula mwatsatanetsatane za ulalo womwe ukusowa, maulalo omwe akusowa, komanso zomwe tiyenera kuchita kuti tipeze chikondi china mdziko lino.
Pazaka zathu za 40, tawona kuti 80% yaubwenzi ndiyabwino.
Werengani izo kachiwiri.
80% zaubwenzi sizabwino!
Ndipo nchifukwa ninji zili choncho? Ikhoza kuthamanga kuchoka ku zizoloŵezi kupita kuzinthu zongoganizira, kusowa, kusachita zinthu mwamwano, kuwongolera, kulamulira, kudalira cododit, ndi zina zambiri.
Anthu amakhalabe ogwirizana chifukwa safuna kukhala okha.
Anthu amakhalabe ogwirizana chifukwa samadzimva kukhala oyenera china chilichonse kuposa momwe aliri pakadali pano.
Koma pali china chosowa!
Ndiye ndichiyani ... Ndi chiyani chomwe chikusowa muubwenzi wosakhala bwino womwe ungapangitse kusiyana kwakukulu mdziko la moyo?
Zomwe zimasowa muubwenzi wopanda maubwenzi ndizofala m'mayanjano abwino.
Ndipo chinthucho ndi chiyani? Zomveka.
O, Mbuye wanga, ndikumva kukuwa kuchokera kumakhonde pompano.
"David, Chikondi chikuyenera kulemekeza malingaliro kuposa malingaliro ... David, ukuyesera kutichepetsa ndipo osalola mitima yathu kukhala yotseguka ... David, chikondi chimangokhudza kukopeka, kuyanjana, ndikusankha kutengeka ndi malingaliro ... Chonde osabweretsa lingaliro mu izi; ziwononga zosangalatsa zonse! "
Kodi mumayanjananso ndi ndemanga pamwambapa zokhudzana ndi malingaliro motsutsana ndi kutengeka mu maubale?
Logic vs. kutengeka
Ngati muli pachibwenzi, kaya mukufuna kuvomereza kapena ayi, ndemanga zina pamwambapa ndizomveka chifukwa chake muli pachibwenzi.
Nanga bwanji za 20% ya maanja omwe ali muubwenzi wabwino?
Apa ndipomwe tidalandira chidziwitso chathu chamtengo wapatali, chomwe chachitika zaka 40 zapitazi, kuyerekezera ma 80% a maanja omwe ali pamaubwenzi osagwirizana ndi 20% omwe ali athanzi.
Ndipo kusiyana kwake ndikosavuta kuwona: ndizomveka.
Anthu akakhala pachibwenzi, amalola kuti mitima yawo isokoneze malingaliro awo, amalola zilakolako zawo zogonana kuti zisokoneze malingaliro awo, komanso amalola kudalira kwawo, monga kuopa kukhala okha kuti nawonso ayambe kuganiza.
Koma zomveka ndiye yankho! Kulingalira ndi kutengeka, zikaphatikizidwa, ndizo yankho lopanga ubale wachikondi wamphamvu kwambiri womwe ambirife timafunitsitsa ndikusowa.
Chifukwa chake ndizomveka, tisanayambe chibwenzi, timadziwa mawonekedwe a munthu yemwe sangatigwire.
Mosasamala kanthu za zomwe zimabweretsa patebulopo, ngati ali ndi omwe atipha nawo, sitigula misala yakukankhira zomwe tikudziwa kuti ndi zoona, zomwe zimatigwirira ntchito kapena zomwe sizikugwira ntchito ife pambali chifukwa cha iwo ... Khalani ndi thupi lalikulu ... Khalani ndi ndalama zambiri ... Khalani ndi mphamvu ... Kapena ndinu ogonjera ndipo tichita chilichonse chomwe tingapemphe.
Kuphatikiza malingaliro ndi kutengeka
Pali njira zambiri zosiyana zomwe timafotokozera, kulungamitsa kukhalamo, kapena kulowa mgwilizano wopanda pake.
Koma ngati muphatikiza malingaliro ndi kutengeka, mupanga zochitika zachikondi zodabwitsa.
Koma zenizeni, ndi anthu ochepa okha omwe amadziwa momwe angakhalire ocheperako komanso omveka bwino. Kafukufuku watsimikizanso kuti kutengeka kumatha kukhudza kwambiri kulingalira kwathu mwanjira zosiyanasiyana m'miyoyo yathu.
Tili otanganidwa kwambiri kuwerenga mabuku achikondi, makanema achikondi, nkhani zamagazini zomwe zimafotokoza zakupeza "mnzanu wamoyo," komanso kukakamizidwa kuti mupeze "wokondedwa wanu," makamaka mukamakula, kumakulirakulira.
Chifukwa cha zomwe tikatsata malingaliro motsutsana ndi malingaliro, malingaliro amangotuluka pazenera!
Chosowa chathu ... Kuopa kwathu kukhala tokha ... Kufuna kwathu kuvomerezedwa ndi anthu chifukwa tsopano tili ndi "mnzathu."
Tiyeni tichepetse.
Ngati mungayang'ane maubwenzi anu am'mbuyomu ndipo ali ndi sewero komanso chisokonezo, zomwe ambiri aife tili, pitani kwa akatswiri masiku ano kuti muyambitse momwe muyenera kusintha zikhulupiriro zanu, malingaliro anu komanso malingaliro osazindikira kuti apange mtundu wina wachikondi mtsogolo.
Tikupereka gawo la upangiri wa mphindi 30, kwa anthu ochokera padziko lonse lapansi kudzera pafoni ndi Skype kuwathandiza kuti ayambe kuyesa kuwunika zomwe amakhulupirira, ndi momwe angabweretsere malingaliro ambiri mdziko lapansi chibwenzi, chikondi, ndi maubale.
Ndikudziwa kuti ndikhoza kukuthandizani, ndipo ndikudziwa kuti mudzasangalala kugwira ntchitoyi. "