Zamkati
50% ya okwatirana ku United States, kapena kupitilira apo, amathetsa banja. Ziwerengerozo sizinasinthe kwazaka zambiri.
Koma kodi ziyenera kukhala choncho?
Sizitero. Ndagwirapo ntchito zina mwazisokonezo, monga kuzunzidwa kwambiri muukwati, momwe pamakhala zovuta zonse, ndidawathandiza banjali kuti lisinthe ukwati wawo kukhala umodzi mwamgwirizano komanso wokongola kwambiri womwe ndidawonapo.
Komwe anthu ambiri anganene kuti "amayeneradi kusudzulana", ndimangonena kuti dikirani miniti, tiyeni tidikire kuti tiwone.
Ngati anthu awiri, kapena ngakhale m'modzi yekha pachiyambi, angavomereze kuthetsa mavuto awo, pali zinthu zambiri zazikulu zomwe tingachite kuti tisunge maubwenzi asanamwalire imfa yowawa, yopweteka.
Nayi nkhani yokhudza banja lomwe ndidagwira nawo ntchito zaka zapitazo omwe anali pafupi kutha banja:
Mwamunayo anali pachibwenzi, sanali wotsimikiza kuti akufuna kuthetsa chibwenzicho, ndipo pamene ali mu limbo mkazi wake akuyesera kusankha ngati angapereke chisudzulo kapena ayi. Achibale ake ndi abwenzi ake amamuuza, chifukwa analibe chidwi chilichonse kuti amusiye wokondedwa wake, kuti amangofunika kujambulitsa nthawi yomweyo. Koma m'malo mwake, ndidamufotokozera magawo awiriwa pansipa, ndipo adawatsatira motsatira mfundo, ndipo ubalewo udasungidwa.
Atagwira naye ntchito kwa mwezi wathunthu, mwamunayo adalowanso ndikuyamba kutsatira pulogalamu yomweyi, ndipo kudabwitsidwa iye ndi banja lake, adatha kutenganso chikondi chawo ndikumanga banja lomwe linali lolimba, lamphamvu kuposa chibwenzicho chisanayambe.
Kungotsatira njira ziwiri izi kukupatsani mwayi wopulumutsa ukwati wanu. Nazi zomwe muyenera kuchita-
1. Lonjezani uphungu kwa maanja kwa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi
Ndimauza maanja onse kuti ayenera kuchita pamene ukwati uli pamavuto akulu, mpaka miyezi isanu ndi umodzi yopereka upangiri. Sindimakhulupirira upangiri wachikwati wachikhalidwe. Mu 1996 tidasiya kutsatira upangiri waukwati, komwe ndimagwira ntchito ndi amuna ndi akazi ola limodzi kudzera pafoni, Skype kapena pamasom'pamaso.
Ndidapeza kuyambira 1990 mpaka 1996 kuti njirayi sinali yopindulitsa konse. Ndidawauza maanja anga kuti atha kumakangana kunyumba, monga momwe amachitira panthawi yomwe timakhala nawo, kwaulere. Kunali kuwononga nthawi ndi ndalama zawo.
Koma ngati ali ofunitsitsa kuyesa kudziwa ngati ubalewo uyenera kutetezedwa, nditha kugwira nawo ntchito limodzi kwa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi.
Ndipo miyezi isanu ndi umodzi nthawi zambiri ndimakhala nthawi yocheperako yomwe ndidapeza kuti ndichiritse banja kapena ubale wosweka. Nthawi zina zimatha kutenga chaka. Koma mu gawo loyamba, timawapangitsa kuti azigwira ntchito osachepera miyezi isanu ndi umodzi yogwira ntchito limodzi ndi ine sabata imodzi kwa ola limodzi. Iwonso adzakhala ntchito yakunyumba. Ntchito Zolemba. Kuwerengedwa kwa mabuku ena. Ngati atsatira pulogalamuyi, pali mwayi waukulu kuti titha kuyamba kusintha banja.
2. Sankhani kupatukana kwakanthawi
Ngati pakutha kwa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi chibwenzicho chikuwoneka kuti chikuyambika pang'ono, ndikupangira kuti banjali lilekanitse. Kukhala nyumba ziwiri zosiyana. Kulekana kumatha kupita kulikonse kuyambira miyezi itatu mpaka miyezi isanu ndi umodzi, pomwe akugwirabe ntchito ndi ine ngatiuphungu.
Nthawi zina mphamvu zoyipa zomwe zamangidwa mzaka zapitazi, zimangokhala zazikulu kwambiri kuti musayesetse kugwirira ntchito pomwe akukhala limodzi. Banja lina lomwe ndidachita nawo izi, lomwe lidafuna kusudzulana nthawi yomwe amalowa muofesi yanga, lidapeza kuti atalandira upangiri, sizidawathandize kupulumutsa ubale wawo m'miyezi isanu ndi umodzi yoyambirira, kupatukana kuphatikiza upangiri udali yankho la mapemphero awo.
Pomwe adapatukana, ndipo onse awiri akugwirabe nane ntchito sabata iliyonse, adapeza kuti kusakhulupirika kumachepa, mkwiyo wawo udayamba kutha, mkwiyo womwe udawonekera mwa iwo onse, kupatukana kudayamba kukhazikika .
Pambuyo pakupatukana kwamasiku 90 pomwe adatha kuganiza bwino, kutsegula mitima yawo ndikusunthira ubale wawo m'malo abwino.
Ngati atatsatira njira ziwirizi, chibwenzicho chikadali chipwirikiti, ndipamene ndimawalangiza kuti athetse chisudzulocho. Anthu akamatsatira gawo limodzi ndi magawo awiri pamwambapa, pamakhala zovuta zambiri zomwe tikhoza kusunga chibwenzicho. Koma sizotsimikizika 100%. Ngakhale atasankha kusudzulana pakadali pano, onse atha kuyang'ana kumbuyo, kumachoka akudziwa kuti achita zonse zomwe angathe kuti ateteze ukwatiwo kapena ubale.
Ngati pali ana, ndikulangiza kwambiri masitepe awiriwa, kutsatira izi mpaka kumaliza. Ngati kulibe ana, nthawi zina awiriwo amasankha pakatha miyezi isanu ndi umodzi kapena chaka choyamba cha upangiri kuti chibwenzi chatha kwambiri.
Mwanjira iliyonse, ndikudziwa kuti ngati awiriwo achita khama pantchitoyi, ngati athetsa banja, amapita kukaphunzira zambiri za iwo eni, chikondi ndi zomwe zimafunika kuti pakhale ubale wabwino komanso wathanzi komanso banja lathu. Mwanjira iliyonse, ndikofunikira kuyesetsa.
Koma ngati simukufuna kuyesetsa kuchita izi, ndiye kuti mutha kubwereza zizolowezi zomwezi muubwenzi wanu watsopano. Chedweraniko pang'ono. Yang'anani mkati. Tiyeni tigwire ntchitoyi limodzi