Zamkati
- Muyenera kukhala pachibwenzi nthawi yayitali musanalowe m'banja
- Kodi nthawi yocheza asanakwatirane ndiyofunika?
- Nthawi yoyenera kukwatira ndi iti
Mulidi ndi mwayi waukulu ngati mukumva kuti mwapeza munthu yemwe mukufuna kukwatirana naye.
Mwakhala nthawi yayitali bwanji muli limodzi? Mwakhala limodzi masabata awiri kapena mwakhala mukukhala limodzi zaka 4 kapena kupitilira apo? Kodi mumakhulupirira nthawi ina yodziwira kuti mudzakhala pachibwenzi musanakwatirane?
Muyenera kukhala pachibwenzi nthawi yayitali musanalowe m'banja
Pali funso lomwe anthu ambiri amakhala nalo ndipo ndilo "muyenera kukhala ndi nthawi yayitali bwanji musanakwatirane?"
Zachidziwikire kuti mudamvapo zamalamulo azibwenzi ndipo zimaphatikizaponso nthawi yayitali musayimbirane pambuyo pa tsiku loyamba komanso nthawi yapakati pachibwenzi musanathenso kuchita chibwenzi ndipo musaiwale za nthawi yapakati paukwati musanalowe m'banja.
Mukumva ngati mukukhala moyo wanu kutengera malangizo?
Zowona ngati mukuyang'ana pakuwonetsetsa kuti mupita ndi manambala kutengera ziwerengero. Manambala kapena malangizo awa atha kukuthandizani inu ndi mnzanu kuyeza bwino zinthu. Ena amati pali lamulo lazaka ziwiri, ena amati bola mutadziwa kuti mnzanu ndiye "amene" ndiye kuti palibe chifukwa chodikirira.
Tiyeni tiwone zomwe akatswiri akunena. Nawa zikumbutso zofunikira pakakhala nthawi yayitali musanakwatirane.
Malinga ndi Madeleine A. Fugère, Ph.D., wolemba buku la The Social Psychology of Attraction and Romantic Relationships, “Sindikuganiza kuti pali nthawi yokwanira, chifukwa munthu aliyense ndi mkhalidwe wake ndi wosiyana pang'ono. Ndipo kukula kumasiyana. ”
"Palibe nthawi yabwino yochita zibwenzi musanakwatirane," akutero Lisa Firestone, Ph.D., katswiri wama psychology komanso mkonzi wamkulu.
“Kukhala paubwenzi wabwino sikutanthauza nthawi. Ngati anthu akhala m'banja zaka makumi asanu, koma akhala omvetsa chisoni ndikuchitirana nkhanza mzaka zonsezo, kodi ndi ukwati wabwino? Ngakhale maukwati omwe amakonzedweratu amagwira ntchito nthawi zina, ndipo sanakhalepo pachibwenzi. Funso ndi lakuti: Kodi mumamukondadi munthuyu? ” akuwonjezera.
Zoona ndizo; palibe posachedwa kuti akwatire. Pakhoza kukhala malingaliro ambiri pankhaniyi kapena mwina mitu ingapo yazomwe zingachitike ngati mungaganize zomangiriza mfundoyi posachedwa.
Nthawi yapakati pachibwenzi musanachite chibwenzi idzadalira inu ndi mnzanu komanso koposa zonse, pakukonzekera kwanu kukhala pachibwenzi ndi kukwatiwa. Banja lililonse ndi losiyana komanso lokongola kwambiri.
Kutalika kwa chibwenzi musanakwatirane komanso nthawi yayitali kuti mukhale ndi chibwenzi musanalingalire zitha kuwonedwa ngati chitsogozo koma sizinapangidwe kuti zikulepheretseni kufunsira kapena kukwatira.
Kodi nthawi yocheza asanakwatirane ndiyofunika?
Kodi anthu amatenga nthawi yayitali bwanji asanakwatirane kapena kutalika kwa gawo la chibwenzi sikugwira ntchito kwa aliyense popeza banja lililonse ndi losiyana ndipo zomwe zimachitika pamutuwu ndizosamveka bwino kuyika nambala kapena lamulo.
Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, psychotherapist wololedwa, wothandizira awiriwa komanso wolemba akuwonetsa kuti chaka chimodzi kapena ziwiri zokhala pachibwenzi nthawi zambiri zimakhala nthawi yayitali musanapite ku gawo lotsatira kaya kuchita chibwenzi kapena kukwatirana komwe.
Ngakhale, kutalika kwaubwenzi asanakwatirane kapena kukwatira kumangowoneka kutsogolera maanja chifukwa cha zifukwa izi:
- Pakufunika nthawi kuti mumudziwe bwino mnzanuyo. Tonsefe tikhoza kugwa mutu m'chikondi koma izi zitha kukhalanso zakanthawi.
- Nthawi yokwanira yoti akhale ndi chibwenzi imateteza momwe awiriwo akumvera kwa wina ndi mnzake komanso onetsetsani kuti sangakule kuchokera mu "mwamphamvu" za momwe akumvera.
- Pambuyo pa miyezi 26 ya "gawo lachikondi" kwa mabanja atsopano pakubwera kulimbirana mphamvu kapena gawo losemphana kwa ubale wawo. Ngati banjali lipirira izi ndikubwera champhamvu, ndicho chitsimikizo chabodza kuti alidi okonzeka.
- Ena angafune yesani kukhala limodzi poyamba yomwe ili ndi zabwino zake komanso zoyipa.
- Maanja omwe amakhala pachibwenzi nthawi yayitali amakhala ndi mwayi wokumana ndi mikangano mu ubale wawo, zomwe si zachilendo. Izi ziyesa momwe angakwaniritsire kuthana nawo.
- Kukhala pachibwenzi kwa nthawi yayitali kungakupatseninso nthawi yokwanira yokonzekera banja lanu. Kusankha kukwatira ndikosiyana ndi kukwatira ndipo musaiwale udindo wokhala mwamuna ndi mkazi.
Nthawi yoyenera kukwatira ndi iti
Chifukwa chokha chomwe muliri ndi malangizo ochuluka oti “muyenera kudikira nthawi yayitali bwanji kuti mudzalowe m'banja” ndi chakuti cholinga chake ndi chakuti anthuwo akhale "okonzeka" asanakwatirane. Izi ndi malangizo ndikupewera kusudzulana.
Kudziwa nthawi yoyenera kukwatira kumadalira awiriwo. Pali mabanja omwe ali kale otsimikiza kuti adakwanitsa kukhala pachibwenzi kuti akwatire ndipo ali otsimikiza kuti akufuna kukhazikika.
Ena amati banja limadalira zaka, zaka zomwe mudakhala limodzi, ndipo ena amati zimadalira m'matumbo mwanu.
Osakakamizidwa ndi anthu omwe akukuuzani kuti muli pa msinkhu woyenera, kuti muyenera kukhala ndi banja lanu, kapena momwe inu ndi mnzanu mumawonekera bwino.
Kwatirani chifukwa ndinu okonzeka osati chifukwa cha kuchuluka kapena malingaliro a anthu ena. Ndiye muyenera kudikirira mpaka liti kuti mukwatire?
Yankho lake ndi losavuta - palibe nthawi yamatsenga yokhudza kutalika kwa chibwenzi musanalowe m'banja. Sizigwira ntchito mwanjira imeneyi. Mutha kutchula izi ngati chitsogozo koma osati monga lamulo.
Zilibe kanthu kuti mwakhala limodzi milungu iwiri, miyezi 5 kapena ngakhale zaka zisanu. Kudziwa kutalika kwa nthawi musanalowe m'banja kungakhale kothandiza koma sikuyenera kukulepheretsani inu kapena mnzanu kufuna kukwatira bola mukadakhala okonzeka chifukwa ndiye mayeso enieni apa. Malingana ngati ndinu odzipereka, okhwima, okhazikika, komanso koposa zonse okonzeka kukwatiwa ndiye muyenera kutsatira mtima wanu.