Zamkati
- Amayi amakonda kukhala Otsata ndipo amuna amakonda kukhala Wofalitsa
- Onse awiri amadzimva kuti ali pachiwopsezo chofanana
- Wokondedwa aliyense amatembenukira ku gawo lawo la wofalitsa kapena womutsata
- 1. Dziwani njira yolankhulirana
- 2. Pangani chitetezo ndi chidaliro chokulirapo
- 3. Zindikirani dongosolo
- 4. Khalani ndi pulani
- 5. Njira ina yolumikizirana
- 6. Khalani ndi mtima wa 'ife'
- 7. Sinthani mtima wanu
- 8. Khalani pamutu
Momwe timalumikizirana ndi ena nthawi zambiri zimayamba ndi banja lathu lochokera, banja lathu loyamba, lomwe limapereka chithunzi chomwe chimakhala maziko athu.
Muubwenzi, njira zomwe anthu awiri amalumikizirana zimatiuza zambiri za momwe maanja amayeserera kuthetsa kusamvana. Njira zolumikizirana izi zimakhala 'gule' pakati pa anthu awiri.
Malinga ndi a John Gottman, Ph.D., chizolowezi choti abambo achoke komanso azimayi azitsatira ndicholumikizana ndi mawonekedwe athu ndikuwonetsa kusiyana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi.
Amayi amakonda kukhala Otsata ndipo amuna amakonda kukhala Wofalitsa
Amayi amakonda kukhala Wotsata, akufuna kuchita nawo kulumikizana ndikupitiliza kuyesa kulankhulana, ngakhale zinali zopanda pake panthawiyo.
Adzachita izi kufikira zosowa zawo zitakwaniritsidwa.
Amuna amakonda kukhala Distancer, amafuna kuthawa mkanganowo ndikuthamangira kuphanga lawo.
Amathamanga akamva kuti akutsatiridwa. Amafuna kupewa mikangano. Ambiri amafunikira malo ndi nthawi, nthawi yozizira kuti aganizire ndi kukonza.
Wothamangayo sawona choncho ndipo samva choncho. Akufuna kulumikizana tsopano ndikuzindikira izi tsopano. Nthawi zambiri amakhala otsutsa kwambiri. Mulimonse momwe mungadulire, simavinidwe omwe mukufuna kupitiliza.
Njira zolumikizirana zimalimbikitsidwa chifukwa chakulephera kwa m'modzi kapena onse awiri mukulumikizana bwino, komanso kusamvetsetsa, kuzindikira, kukhala nawo, komanso kufotokoza nkhawa zawo komanso kusatetezeka.
Onse awiri amadzimva kuti ali pachiwopsezo chofanana
Nthawi zambiri munthu aliyense amakhala ndi mantha kuti chibwenzi sichingayende ngakhale atafotokoza mosiyana, kuti wokondedwa wawo sangakhale ndi msana komanso kupezeka, kuti sangamve kukhala otetezeka muubwenzi wawo komanso kuti malo awo achitetezo ali pachiwopsezo.
Izi zonse zimapangitsa kuti anthu azimva kuti ali pachiwopsezo chimodzimodzi.
Wokondedwa aliyense amatembenukira ku gawo lawo la wofalitsa kapena womutsata
Maanja nthawi zambiri amalumikizana ndi kulumikizana popanda mwayi wothana chifukwa pakakhala kusamvana kapena kusagwirizana, aliyense amatembenukira ku udindo wawo wosokoneza kapena kuwatsata.
Izi zimangowonjezera kukhumudwa kwawo.Mwachitsanzo, mnzake amene akufuna chitetezo ngati njira yochepetsera nkhawa amafikira winayo poyesa kulumikizana.
Mnzake akumva kuthedwa nzeru ndipo amayankha mosiyana ndi zomwe ena amafunikira, amapanga danga ndikuchoka kuti athetse nkhawa zawo.
Tsoka ilo, maanja ambiri omwe amagwera mchikhalidwe ichi adangokwatirana samakafika pachaka chachisanu, pomwe ena amalowetsedwa mpaka kalekale!
Njira za 8 zothetsera ndondomekoyi ndikupanga ubale wabwino:
1. Dziwani njira yolankhulirana
Kambiranani za banja lanu loyamba komanso momwe makolo anu ndi abale anu adalumikizirana. Dziwani ndikumvetsetsa momwe mumalankhulira. Fufuzani zosiyana ndi zofanana. Khalani ndi zokambirana.
2. Pangani chitetezo ndi chidaliro chokulirapo
Mangani maziko. Yambani ndi kuyambitsa kofewa, ino ndi nthawi yabwino yolankhula?
Pangani zokambirana za momwe nonse mungafunire kukhazikitsa chitetezo chochulukirapo komanso kudalirana m'banjamo.
Izi zikutanthauza kulemekeza momwe munthu aliyense akumvera ngakhale simukugwirizana. Izi zimathandiza kuti munthu aliyense azimva kuti ndi 'wotetezeka' kuti athe kugawana momwe akumvera.
3. Zindikirani dongosolo
Kodi pali mawu ena oyambitsa? Kodi pali nthawi zina zomwe mumamva kuti mwapanikizika kwambiri kapena mumafunika kupitiriza kukambirana.
Onetsetsani njira yolumikizirana muubwenzi, osati zomwe zili mumutu kapena mutuwo. Cholinga sikuti mudziwe momwe mungasamalire mutu uliwonse wazokambirana, koma ndikupanga njira ina yomwe ingalole kuti aliyense wa inu akhale ndi mwayi wosintha momwe mumalankhulirana.
4. Khalani ndi pulani
Zindikirani ndikuwunika nthawi yakudula pakachitika.
Yambani kuchedwetsa "spin cycle" kuti mutha kuyiyang'anitsitsa. Mwachitsanzo, konzekerani kutha nthawi. Anthu onse akasefukira ndi malingaliro anu ubongo wanu umakhala pa overdrive.
Potenga nthawi yopuma, tinene kuti mphindi makumi atatu kapena kupatula apo maanja angachepetse nkhawa ndikuyamba kuyankhulanso za nkhaniyi. Komabe, pangani pulani musanayambe kukangana kapena pakakhala bata mukamakhazikika pamitu, ndipo ali pamalo abwino.
5. Njira ina yolumikizirana
Mwachitsanzo, sindine wokonda kutumizirana mameseji, makamaka china chachikulu komanso chakuya - komabe, ngati anthu amangokhalira kulankhulana pamasom'pamaso, atha kukhumudwa, makamaka koyambirira.
Anthu ena amachita bwino pa imelo yomwe imapatsa iwo nthawi yogawana zakukhosi. Mutha kugwiritsa ntchito izi poyambira kukambirana mozama. Mabanja ena amayamba kujambulana limodzi akamaphunzira momwe angayankhulirane bwino.
6. Khalani ndi mtima wa 'ife'
Palibe chomwe chimapangitsa kukhala ndiubwenzi wolimba komanso kulimba pamene onse akumva ndikunena kuti ali mgululi.
Amazindikiranso kuti atha kukhala ndi 'zokwanira komanso zoyambira' zambiri ndipo zili bwino koma ngati onse akuwona kuti ali mgulu limodzi ndikufuna kupeza njira yothanirana ndi 'kuvina' kwawo komwe adapanga, zomwe zikuyankhula zambiri!
7. Sinthani mtima wanu
Nthawi yamavuto, timakhala ndi nkhawa. Munthu aliyense amafunika kukhala ndi chiwongolero chakumverera. Sintchito ya mnzanu kuthana ndi kukhumudwa kwanu.
8. Khalani pamutu
Palibe chomwe chimati tiyeni timenyane kwambiri pobweretsa mavuto onse omwe mukuwona kuti sanathetsedwe. Mukakhala pakati pa zokambirana, pitirizani kukambirana. Posankha chinthu chimodzi choti mukambirane ndikusiyira enawo nthawi ina, zingathandize munthu aliyense kukhalabe pantchito. Mwa njira, izi zitha kukhalanso gawo la pulani yanu!
Potsirizira pake, inu ndi mnzanu kapena mnzanu mudzakhala pamalo abwinoko, momwe mungakhalire muzokambirana, kuzindikira zomwe zakupangitsani, ndikusankha kukhalabe olumikizana!
Popita nthawi, ubale wolimba umasintha, womwe nonse mumakhulupirira kuti ukhoza kupirira nthawi ndikumva bwino mukamayankhulana.