Zamkati
Mamiliyoni aamuna ndi akazi lero adzauka, kudzuka pabedi, ndikuchita chilichonse chotheka kuti asagwedeze bwato muubwenzi wawo.
Amatha kukhala pachibwenzi, okwatirana, kapena kukhala ndi bwenzi lapamtima ... Koma pali kufanana komwe kumakhalapo m'mayanjano awa. Amadalira kwambiri ena, amawopa kukanidwa kapena kuweruzidwa ndi anthu ofunikira kwambiri m'miyoyo yawo.
Koma, kodi kudalira malamulo m'banja ndi chiyani?
Kudalirana paokha m'banja ndi pamene m'modzi mwa iwo ali pachibwenzi kotero kuti sangalingalire za moyo wopanda wokondedwa wawo. Ziribe kanthu momwe wokondedwa wawo amawachitira, ali okonzeka kupirira chilichonse kuti akhalebe pachibwenzi. Amaganiza kuti anzawo sangakhale popanda iwo kapena iwowo adzawonongeka ndi kutha kwa chibwenzicho. Ndi mtundu wa zosokoneza.
Tsopano, ngati ndinu munthu amene muli pachibwenzi chodalira mutha kufunsa mafunso ngati momwe ubale wodalirana ungapulumutsidwe kapena mungachite chilichonse chokhudza 'kuthana ndi kudalira'. Nkhani ili pansipa iyankha mafunso onsewa.
Momwe mungathetsere kudalira banja?
Pansipa pali maupangiri atatu ofunikira kwambiri othandiza kusokoneza chikhalidwe chodalira chikondi ndi ubwenzi. Njira zothetsera kudalira-
Pezani zenizeni ndi inu nokha
Kuti muthane ndi kudalira maubwenzi gawo loyamba ndikunena zowona, mwina kwanthawi yoyamba m'moyo wanu, kuti mukuopa kugwedeza bwato. Kuti muziyenda pamahelles ndi wokondedwa wanu kapena abwenzi apamtima. Kuti chidziwitso chanu chikutidwa ndikuwonetsetsa kuti aliyense amakukondani, ndipo palibe amene amakukondani.
Zomwe tatchulazi ndi mafotokozedwe ochepa chabe amawu akuti kudalira.
Mu 1997, ndidadutsa masabata 52 owongoka ndi mzanga yemwe alinso mlangizi pomwe amandithandiza kusokoneza chikhalidwe changa chodalira. Mpaka nthawi imeneyo, muubwenzi wanga wonse wapamtima, zikandibwera ndikugwedeza bwato ndimachita chilichonse ndi chilichonse chotheka kuti ndisakhumudwitse wokondedwa wanga. Izi zikhoza kutanthauza kumwa kwambiri. Kapena kuthawira kuntchito kwambiri. Kapenanso kukhala ndi chibwenzi.
Mukuwona, monga omwe ndimadalira nawo anzawo, ndikudziwa bwino momwe zimakhalira mukamafuna kuti aliyense akukondeni, azikukondani. Pamene simukufuna kukanidwa. Woweruza. Mukadana ndi kukangana.
Chifukwa chake gawo loyamba logonjera kudalira ndi kulemba papepala njira zomwe mumapewa kukangana ndi wokondedwa wanu ndi anzanu. Uku kudzakhala kuyitanitsa kwa ambiri. Ndiye poyambira kuchira ndikuchulukirachulukira.
Osamakangana
Mukazindikira njira zosiyanasiyana zomwe mumapewa kukangana, kubwerera kumbuyo pazokangana, kapena kusamvana, ngakhale atayitanidwa, mutha kuyamba tsopano kuchita zolemba zina kuti zikuthandizeni kuchira. Kulemba kutha kukhala kothandiza kuthana ndi kudalira.
Mu gawo ili, mulemba zokambirana zomwe mungafune kukhala ndi wokondedwa wanu kapena mnzanu. Mufotokoza chikhumbo chanu, mwamphamvu, kuti simukufuna kupita kuphwando Loweruka usiku, chifukwa simukuwona kuti ndikofunikira kupita kukamwa ndikumwa pafupipafupi Mnzanu akufuna. Izi ndizofunikira ngati mukufuna kuthana ndi kusamvana komanso mavuto amabanja.
Mukatha kulemba ndemanga yanu, mulembera zifukwa zingapo zakuti mukukhulupirira momwe mumakhulupirira. Kuti muthane ndi kudalirana muyenera kukhazikitsa malingaliro anu molondola.
Ntchitoyi ndiyokhudza kukhazikika ndikulunjika kotero kuti mukamakambirana muzikhala ndi zipolopolo zanu zonse m'maganizo mwanu zomwe mudzanene kwa munthuyo. Pofuna kuthana ndi kudalira amuna ndi akazi ndi kuthetsa ukwati m'banja, muyenera kukhala osasunthika.
Anthu ena amaphunzira kuwerenga zokambiranazi patsogolo pagalasi. Penyani thupi lanu. Khalani amphamvu. Osabwerera m'mbuyo. Zitha kutenga kachitidwe kaye musanakhale womasuka kuzichita zenizeni. Ndipo zili bwino. Muyenera kutenga zowawa izi kuti muthane ndi kudalira.
Khazikitsani malire
Phunzirani momwe mungakhalire malire ndi wokondedwa wanu kapena anzanu ndi zotulukapo. Mwanjira ina, simukufuna kungolimbikira. Mukufuna kukhala ndi zotsatirapo zakuti ngati apitiliza kuchita zomwe sizabwino kwa inu, mudzakoka zomwe zikuyambitsa. Ili ndiye lingaliro lomaliza komanso lofunikira kwambiri pothana ndi kudalira.
Nachi chitsanzo chabwino. Zaka zingapo zapitazo banja linayamba kugwira ntchito ndi ine chifukwa mwamunayo anali ndi chizolowezi choledzera mwezi uliwonse, Loweruka lomaliza mwezi uliwonse. Sanawone vuto lililonse. Komabe, mkazi wake adaziwona mosiyana.
Tsiku lotsatira ataledzera, amakhoza kugona tsiku lonse. Atadzuka, adakwiya ndi ana komanso ndi iye. Kwa masiku angapo otsatira, pomwe anali kulimbana ndi matsire oopsa, anali wokwiya, wosaleza mtima komanso woyipa.
Pogwira ntchito limodzi, ndinawapatsa kuti apange mgwirizano. Panganoli, akuti ngati atamwa nthawi iliyonse m'masiku 90 otsatira, achoka panyumbayo, akapeze nyumba ina kapena nyumba yoti azibwereka masiku 90.
Monga momwe mungadziwire, izi zinali zotsatira zake. Kwa zaka 25 amamuuza kuti ngati atamwa kamodzi, amusudzula. Akamamwa kaye kamodzi, sakanakhala akutenga ana akaweruka kusukulu ndipo ndiudindo wake kuti apite patali ndi ntchito kuti azisamalira ana. Koma sanatengeko zotsatira zake.
Ndi mgwirizano womwe uli m'manja, adaswa mbali yake ya mgwirizano. Tsiku lotsatira? Anasamukira kunyumba. Patatha masiku 90 adabweranso, ndipo kwa zaka zinayi zapitazi, sanakhale ndi dontho limodzi la mowa.
Kuti mudziwe momwe mungathetsere kudalira maubwenzi kukhala okhwima ndi malire, ndizovomerezeka.
Tengani nthawi yanu kuphunzira momwe mungakhalire munthu wamphamvu, wodziyimira pawokha komanso kuthana ndi kudalira. Yesetsani kuchita izi. Ndikukulonjezani, monga omwe mudakhala anzanu kale, moyo ukhala wovuta pang'ono poyamba, koma mudzayambiranso kuwongolera ndikudzidalira kwanu ndikudzidalira kudzadutsa padenga. Ndizofunikira kwambiri kuyesetsa. Muthanso kusintha banja lokhazikika kuti likhale labwino. Ngati sichoncho, mukudziwa momwe mungathetsere banja lodziyimira pawokha ndikuphwanya mavutowo.