Zamkati
- Kufunika kochiritsira mabanja kuti muchepetse zovuta zomwe zikubwera
- Chiyambi pang'ono
- Chisankho chanzeru kugwada kumbuyo kuti mukhale okhutira komanso osasamala
- Kukhala wodalirika wodalirika komanso wothandizira anthu
- Kunyinyirika kutenga kaimidwe
- Kupeza mzere wokhomerera
- Kumvetsetsa malingaliro osokonekera
- Kukhala womasuka kuyang'anira zochitika zake
- Kukhazikitsa mawu atsopano othandizira ndi mgwirizano
- Kufufuza chithandizo cha matenda ake amisala
Ndine mlangizi wazokwatirana wa nthawi yayitali yemwe ndagwira ntchito ndi maanja ambiri kuyesera kuthana ndi mbuna za banja lachiwiri pambuyo paukwati wawo woyamba kutha ndi kuwawa ndi mkwiyo wa mavuto osamvana ndi mikangano.
Kufunika kochiritsira mabanja kuti muchepetse zovuta zomwe zikubwera
Anthu ambiri sazindikira mokwanira zakufunika kwa chithandizo chamankhwala kuti muchepetse zovuta zomwe sizinasinthidwe zoyambira m'banja loyamba. Munkhani yomwe ikubwera, ndipereka kafukufuku wotsatira ngati chitsanzo chazovuta zothandizira mabanja poyesa kukhazikitsa ukwati watsopano mopanda phokoso.
Posachedwa ndinawona banja lapakati pomwe mwamuna anali ndi mwana m'modzi yekha, wamwamuna wazaka makumi awiri. Mkaziyo anali asanakwatiwe ndipo analibe ana. Awiriwa adabwera kudandaula kuti mwana wamwamuna wa mwamunayo, yemwe akukhala naye tsopano, akupanga mkangano muubwenzi wawo.
Chiyambi pang'ono
Ukwati woyamba wa mwamunayo udatha zaka 17 zapitazo. Mavuto omwe adasokoneza ukwatiwo adakhudzana ndi vuto lomwe sanatengere gawo la mkazi wakaleyo pamavuto azachuma (mwamunayo anali ndi vuto lalikulu kupeza ntchito).
Chomwe chinasokoneza ubalewo chinali chakuti, mzaka zonsezo, mkazi wakaleyu ankanyoza abambo a mwanayo kwa wamwamuna pafupipafupi. Anatinso anali wopanda ulemu pomwe, kunyalanyaza kwake kupereka ndalama zokwanira zothandizira ana kumachitika chifukwa chovuta kupeza ntchito yabwino.
Chisankho chanzeru kugwada kumbuyo kuti mukhale okhutira komanso osasamala
M'kupita kwa nthawi, bamboyo adapanga chisankho chodziweramira kumbuyo kuti akhale wokhutira komanso kulekerera ndi mwana wawo. Maganizo ake anali akuti popeza amangomuwona mwana wawo wamwamuna kumapeto kwa sabata, amayenera kukhazikitsa mawonekedwe abwino (makamaka popeza amayi a mnyamatayo nthawi zonse amalankhula zoipa za abambo awo.)
Pitani patsogolo kwazaka zochepa ndipo mwana tsopano ndi wachikulire.
Mnyamatayo zakupeza kukhala kovuta kwambiri kukhala ndi amayi ake popeza anali asanakumanane ndi vuto lake lamisala komanso machitidwe osasintha. Kuphatikiza pa kukhala wokwiya mosayembekezereka komanso wokonda kudzudzula, nthawi zambiri amamuuza zovuta zake pakati pa anthu. Mwana wamwamuna sanathenso kupirira izi ndipo anasamukira kwa abambo ake.
Abambo, mwatsoka, adapitilizabe kumunyamula ndikumuyamwitsa. Vuto lomwe banja latsopanoli lidabweretsa pagawo laupangiri ndikuti mkazi watsopanoyu adapezeka kuti ali pamavuto komanso okhumudwitsa.
Ankawona kuti mwana wamwamuna wake anali chododometsa ubale wawo popeza amangokhalira kudandaula kwa abambo ake za amayi ake komanso momwe amafunira amayi ake.
Kukhala wodalirika wodalirika komanso wothandizira anthu
Zotsatira zake, bambo a mnyamatayo adakhala wodalirika komanso wodalitsika, mnyamatayo nthawi zambiri amalankhula ndi abambo ake za zovuta za amayi ake. Izi zidapangitsa kuti abambowo akhale opanikizika komanso okhumudwa. Izi zidasokoneza kwambiri mkazi wake.
Kuphatikiza apo, ndizodabwitsa kuti, popeza mnyamatayo sanayembekezeredwe kugwira ntchito zapakhomo ngati mwana wamwamuna yekhayo, adayembekezera kuti abambo ake ndi amayi ake opeza azichapa, kuphika chakudya, kulipirira foni yake, inshuwaransi yagalimoto , Izi zidakhumudwitsa kwambiri mkaziyo ndipo zidakhala fupa lenileni la mikangano.
Kunyinyirika kutenga kaimidwe
Mkazi / mayi wobereka anawona kuti zinali zosayenera kwenikweni kuti mwanayo aziona chipinda chake ngati "chotayira zinyalala". M'malingaliro mwake, chipinda chake chodetsedwa chidakhala nkhani yaukhondo. Mwana wamwamuna amataya zokutira pansi ndipo anali ndi nkhawa kuti mbewa ndi tizilombo timalowa mnyumba yonse. Anapempha mwamunayo kuti alimbane ndi mwana wawo wamwamuna, koma sanachite bwino.
Nkhaniyo idafika pachimake pomwe mkazi watsopanoyo / mayi wopeza adayankha mwamuna wake watsopanoyo. Mwamuna wake amatha kuyankha mwana wake wamwamuna pamiyeso yoyenera zaka pokana kumuthandiza kwathunthu, kumufunsa kuti agwire ntchito zapakhomo, kukonza chipinda chake, ndi zina zambiri.
Kuphatikiza apo, adapemphanso kuti amuna awo akakamize mwana wawo wamwamuna kuti achoke. (Ndikofunikira kudziwa kuti mwana wamwamuna anali ndi ndalama zopezera ndalama yogwira ntchito nthawi zonse pogulitsa masheya. Komabe, bamboyo sanamupemphe mwanayo kuti apereke ndalama zochuluka ku bajeti yabanja popeza iyi inali gawo la zomwe amakonda ).
Kupeza mzere wokhomerera
Apa ndipomwe chithandizo chamankhwala chimakhala chofunikira kwambiri komanso chothandiza. Ndinaitanitsa mnyamatayo kuti akhale nawo pagulu lokambirana za mavuto ake pamoyo wake komanso momwe amaonera ubale wake. Pempholi lidakhazikitsidwa ngati mwayi wopititsa patsogolo ubale wake ndi abambo ake ndi amayi ake opeza.
Kumvetsetsa malingaliro osokonekera
Posakhalitsa ndimakhazikitsa ubale ndi mnyamatayo ndipo adatha kufotokoza za malingaliro ake olimba, koma osokonekera ponena za amayi ake, abambo ake, ndi amayi ake opeza. Adanenanso zakusokonekera komanso mantha okhudzana ndi kudziyimira pawokha.
M'kanthawi kochepa, komabe, ndidatha kumuuza kuti ndi bwino kusamukira kunyumba ndi anzanga.
Kukhala womasuka kuyang'anira zochitika zake
Ndinafotokozera kuti, pakukula kwake, ndikofunikira kuti akhale womasuka pakuwongolera zinthu zake ndikukhala pawokha. Nditatha kuchita bwino ndi mnyamatayo polemba lingaliro ili, ndidawaitanira okwatiranawo kuti tikakambirane ndi mnyamatayo.
Kukhazikitsa mawu atsopano othandizira ndi mgwirizano
Pagawoli, zinali zofunikira kukhazikitsa njira yatsopano yothandizira ndi mgwirizano pakati pa mnyamatayo ndi mayi opeza. Tsopano adatha kumuwona ngati mnzake wothandizirana naye yemwe anali ndi chidwi ndi malingaliro ake, m'malo momangokhala mayi wopeza wotsutsa.
Kuphatikiza apo, abambo adatha kusintha kamvekedwe ndi chiyanjano cha ubale wawo pofotokoza njira yomwe ingalimbikitse, koma mwaulemu kuti mwana wawo azikhala ndi chiyembekezo pazaka zoyenera. Ndikuwonjezera kuti mwina zingakhale zothandiza kubweretsa mayi ndi mwana kuti adzachite gawo limodzi kuti banja lithandizire.
Kufikira momwe mnyamatayo sadzathanso kuthana ndi kupsinjika kwakanthawi komwe amayi ake samazindikira, samayenera kudalira kwambiri bambo kuti amuthandize.
Kufufuza chithandizo cha matenda ake amisala
Cholinga cha gawo lothandizira amayi amwana wamwamuna ndi wamwamuna, chifukwa chake, ndikuti atsimikizire amayi za kufunikira ndikufunika kwake kopempha chithandizo chamatenda ake amisala. Kuphatikiza apo, ndikofunikira kulimbikitsa mayi kuti apeze wothandizila kuti awalimbikitse m'malo mongolumikizana ndi mwana wawo wamwamuna.
Malinga ndi kafukufukuyu, zikuwonekeratu kufunikira kwakukulitsa kuchuluka kwa upangiri wa maanja kuphatikiza chithandizo chamankhwala pakafunika kutero. Ndikulimbikitsa onse othandizira ndi omwe angathe kukhala makasitomala othandizira upangiri kuti aganizire zothandizana ndi mabanja ngati zinthu zikufuna kusintha kwamachitidwe abanja.