Zamkati
- Chikondi kupyola mibadwo
- Psychology ya kugonana pakati pa mibadwo
- Lowani Hollywood
- Kodi malingaliro ogonana akusintha
Monga momwe mibadwo yaku America idakhalira, akatswiri azamisala akuti pakufunika kwambiri kuti mibadwo yakale izilandira chakudya kuchokera kwa achinyamata komanso kwa omwe nawonso achichepere, kuti apindule ndi nzeru ndi chitsogozo cha akulu.
Nthawi zambiri, ndizosavuta ngati agogo akuganiza zogwiritsa ntchito nthawi yambiri kusamalira zidzukulu zawo kapena kuvomera kukhala mlangizi wodzipereka wa achinyamata ku tchalitchi chapafupi kapena kusukulu.
Koma achikulire ena akukankhira malire amenewo ndikusankha maubale azaka zazikulu. Kusiyana kwa msinkhu wa maubwenzi ndi kwabwinobwino koma, ayamba chibwenzi ndipo mpaka kukwatira akazi opitilira zaka 40.
Akulu akulu awa ndi achikondi pamilomo yawo si abambo osudzulidwa omwe adasiya akazi awo kwa akazi azaka zakubadwa zawo. Ambiri aiwo sanakwatirane nkomwe, ndipo mochedwa, akuyang'ana ubale wawukulu wosiyana zaka.
Ndipo mochulukira, akuwapeza. Ndi achichepere bwanji? Kuti mudziwe zambiri zamaubwenzi azaka zazikulu, werengani limodzi.
Chikondi kupyola mibadwo
Kuti mufufuze mozama za mgwirizano wamaubwenzi azaka zambiri, lingalirani za bambo wina wazaka 62 ku Kansas yemwe amatchedwa "J.R." Mu 2018, adalumikizana ndi mwana wazaka 19, Samantha, ndikumukakamiza kuti akwatire.
Awiriwa adagula nyumba limodzi ndikukonzekera kukhala mosangalala mpaka kalekale, akutero. Koma, oyandikana nawo ambiri komanso anthu okhala m'matauni savomereza. Alendo nthawi zambiri amaganiza kuti awiriwa ndi agogo aamuna ndi mdzukulu wamkazi.
Samantha, yemwe wangolowa kumene kukoleji, akuti, "Zimakhala zoyipa kwambiri anthu akamati JR ndi 'wobera mwana' kapena 'wogona ana' akationa tagwirana manja kapena kupsompsonana pagulu."
Anauza nyuzipepala yakomweko kuti, "Palibe mphindi iliyonse yomwe timacheza ndikuti wina samayankhapo za chibwenzi chathu, ndipo zimangotopetsa."
Samantha, yemwe pano akuyembekezera mwana wake woyamba, akuti adakhala pachibwenzi ndi amuna amsinkhu wake asanakumane ndi mwamuna wake koma adawapeza ali okhwima komanso osamupatsa ulemu. "Kukhala ndi JR ndikosiyana kotheratu - ndiwokhwima kwambiri ndipo amanditenga ngati mfumukazi, palibe chomwe ndingasinthe za iye kapena ubale wathu," akutero.
“Tikukhulupirira kuti pogawana nkhani ya chibwenzi chathu, anthu azindikira kuti si nthabwala ndipo timakondana kwambiri ngakhale timasiyana zaka komanso momwe timaonekera, ”akutero Samantha.
Samantha atha kukhala wosiyana ndi ena chifukwa adakhala pachibwenzi ndikukwatiwa ndi sexagenarian woyamba yemwe adakumana naye. Amayi ena amalondolera gulu la mibadwo iyi mobwerezabwereza koma samawoneka kuti akupeza chikondi chawo chosatha.
Tiyeni tiganizire chitsanzo china cha maubwenzi azaka zazikulu. Mayi wina wazaka 37 dzina lake Megan adayesa chibwenzi ndi Gary wazaka 68, koma sizinathe.
Atasiyana, adapita kuukwati ndipo adakumana ndi amalume a mkwatibwi wazaka 71, omwe adamupatsa. Koma zidapezeka kuti anali wokwatiwa, ndipo Megan adati adakana kukhala "wowononga nyumba."
Zifukwa za Megan kutsata amuna okalamba ndizofanana ndi za Samantha. Wapeza kuti amunawa ndi okhazikika komanso okhazikika komanso ofunitsitsa kumuchita ngati dona. Alibe “nthawi yoti agonane. Ngati akufuna inu, amakufunani ”akutero.
Amuna achichepere nthawi zonse amakhalabe ndi "mawilo ophunzitsira" ndipo amafunika "kutengeka" kudzera kusukulu ndi ntchito. Amakonda kupeza bambo yemwe "adakwanitsa kale" ndipo alibe "chilichonse chotsimikizira," adanenanso.
Psychology ya kugonana pakati pa mibadwo
Akatswiri ambiri amisala sadziwa zomwe angaganize, mwina. Yankho lodziwika ndiloti Mkazi ayenera kukhala ndi "abambo ake" ndipo mwina anali kulandira chisamaliro chosafunikira kuchokera kwa abambo akulu ali mwana.
Ngakhale kuvomereza kuwona mtima kwa zolinga, anthu ambiri amakayikira momwe awiriwo angapezere chofanana chokwanira kuti akhalebe ndiubwenzi kwa nthawi yayitali.
Pali ngakhale nthawi yachipatala ya anthu, amuna kapena akazi, omwe amakopeka ndi achikulire, ngakhale okalamba anzawo, ndi gerontophilia. Koma palibe kafukufuku wowzama woti afotokozere momwe zodabwitsazi zingawonekere.
Kodi muli chiyani kwa mwamunayo muubwenzi wazaka zazikulu? Chakudya chaunyamata, chimodzi.
Mtsikana amabweretsa nyonga yatsopano ya nyonga komanso chisangalalo chaunyamata ngakhale chitamando chomwe mwamuna wachikulire angaledzere nazo.
Koma kupyola kukondana kwakuthupi kumagonanso kukondana kwamalingaliro. Ndipo izi ndi zomwe anthu awiri omwe akutenga nawo gawo pazaka zazikulu angakhale akufunafuna.
Lowani Hollywood
Malo amodzi ku America omwe akuwoneka kuti akutamanda zabwino zakukondana kwapakati pa mibadwo ndi mzinda wa Tinsel. Makanema osachepera asanu ndi anayi akulu akulu aku Hollywood mzaka makumi awiri zapitazi ali ndi mabanja osangalala omwe ali ndi zaka 30 kapena kupitilira apo.
Wolemba Allen anali woyamba kuswa mwambowu, woyamba mu Manhattan (1979) kenako mu Amuna ndi Akazi (1992). Mufilimu yomalizayi, mawonekedwe ake anali a 56 ndipo chidwi chake, chomwe adasewera ndi Juliette Lewis, anali ndi zaka 19 zokha.
Kanemayo adakhala wopusa pomwe zidawululidwa kuti Allen asiya mkazi wake wamoyo, wochita sewero Mia Farrow, kwa mwana wawo wamkazi wobadwira waku Korea, Posachedwa-Yi Previn, wazaka 34 zakubadwa.
M'malo mwake, chidwi cha Hollywood ndi zachikondi chamibadwo yambiri chakula kuyambira pamenepo. Olemba mndandanda monga Sean Connery, Liam Neeson, ndi Billy Bob Thornton onse adasewera oseketsa omwe amatsatiridwa ndi azimayi achichepere kwambiri.
Mu Mwamuna Yemwe Sanalipo (2001), khalidwe la Thornton limanyengedwa m'galimoto yake ndi Scarlett Johannson wazaka 16, yemwe anali kusewera msungwana wazaka zake.
Makamaka, palibe makanema awa omwe ali ndi chithunzi chazokonda zomwe zili mkati Lolita (1962), imodzi mwazinthu zabwino kwambiri za Stanley Kubrick.
Mwamuna wachikulire samawonedwa ngati kungoyang'anira msungwana pang'ono, mwina, chifukwa atsikana omwe akukambidwa, monga lamulo, salinso achichepere kwambiri.
Onaninso:
Kodi malingaliro ogonana akusintha
M'nthawi yachikazi, atsikana m'makanema akuwonetsedwa mochulukira ngati olamulira tsogolo lawo, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti amuna awo omwe ndi abambo, akamatsimikizira chikondi chenicheni, nthawi zambiri amawoneka "oyenera" iwo.
Komabe, palibe chilichonse mwamafilimu awa omwe akuwoneka kuti athera mu mgwirizano wokhalitsa, ndipo owerengeka ndi omwe amakhala ndi akazi ngati okondedwa pakati pa mibadwo yonse.
Amuna, zikuwoneka, atha kukalamba mwachisangalalo ndi mawonekedwe awo komanso mawonekedwe awo osasunthika ngakhale Connery wopepuka, wazaka za m'ma 70, atha kukopa Kathryn Zeta-Jones mu Kutsekedwa (1999), mwachitsanzo. Koma, kukongola kwa mkazi ndi kukopa kwakugonana kumaganizidwabe kuti kuzimiririka ndi nthawi.
Mosakayikira, zenizeni zakukondana kwapakati pa mibadwo ndizovuta komanso zowoneka bwino kuposa zomwe zimawonetsedwa mufilimu. Monga Alfred Kinsey adatiphunzitsira kalekale, zizolowezi zogonana zaku America zakhala zikutsutsa kalekale.
Komabe, tili ndi moyo weniweni wokhala kunja kwa makanema. Ngakhale mutakumana ndi maphunziro angapo kapena ma psychology pamaubwenzi akulu azaka, ndi inu amene muyenera kusankha moyo wanu.
Monga tafotokozera pa nkhani ya Samantha koyambirira kwa nkhaniyi, ngakhale anthu ambiri anali ndi nkhawa ndiubwenzi wawo, Samantha ndi mwamuna wake wazaka 62 anali okwatirana mosangalala.
Kupatula kusala komwe kumachitika chifukwa chakusiyana kwa maubwenzi, pali zovuta zambiri zomwe zimakhudzidwa poganizira maubwenzi akuluakulu azaka.
Sipangakhale yankho lotsimikizika pazinthu zakubadwa m'mabwenzi kapena maubwenzi azaka zazikulu angathe kugwira ntchito.
Muyenera kuchita zinthu zofunika kwambiri musanalowe muubwenzi ndi kusiyana zaka ndikukhala okonzeka kuthana ndi zovuta zomwezo.