Zamkati
- Sambani nthano yokhudza kukondana
- Anthu ambiri amakhalabe muukwati woyipa kapena mwa njira zina
- Kukhala wosakwatira sikutanthauza kukhala wosakwanira
- Kupanikizika ndikodabwitsa kukhala mchikondi ndi munthu m'moyo
- Chikumbutso chokhazikika chokhala wosakwatiwa chimaponyera anthu mu tizzy
- Kudzidalira kodziwononga komanso kudzidalira
- 1. Kukhala wothandiza
- 2. Kukhala wosangalala
- 3. Kukhala pamtendere
- 4. Khalani achimwemwe ndi amtendere musanakwatire
- Koma kukhala mchikondi sindiwo mathero amathero onse
- Gwiritsani ntchito bokosilo. Osatsatiranso unyinji
Timaponyedwa tsiku lililonse, magazini, zotsatsa pawailesi yakanema, zoyankhulana pawailesi, ma blogi apaintaneti. Cholinga chenicheni cha moyo ndikupeza "wokondedwa wanu" ndikukhala mosangalala mpaka pano.
Koma izi ndi zoona? Kapena ndizofalitsa, zopangidwa ndi chidziwitso cha anthu ambiri zomwe zikuyendetsa anthu m'njira yolakwika m'moyo?
Kwa zaka 28 zapitazi, wolemba, wogulitsa komanso wothandizira kwambiri David Essel wakhala akuthandiza kuthana ndi zikhulupiriro zonena za moyo, chikondi komanso cholinga chakukhalapo kwathu.
Sambani nthano yokhudza kukondana
Pansipa, David akukamba za bodza lalikulu kwambiri lomwe tidadyedwa masiku ano, komanso momwe tingasokonezere nthano yakukhala mchikondi.
"Mpaka 1996, pantchito yanga ngati phungu, wophunzitsa za moyo, wokamba nkhani padziko lonse komanso wolemba, ndimayendayenda padziko lonse lapansi ndikulankhula za mphamvu ya chikondi ... Chikondi Chaumulungu ... Chifukwa chakukhalapo kwathu kuyenera kuti ndikuwonetsa kukondana kumodzi munthu wina.
Ndipo, mudaganizira, ndinali ndimalakwitsa.
Ndidagula pazofalitsa, mayendedwe azidziwitso, omwe amatiyamwa tonse mu vortex iyi, ndikupanga chisokonezo komanso sewero lomwe mungakhulupirire.
Chani? Uku ndikunyoza?
Anthu ambiri akandimva ndikupereka chiwonetserochi, amaganiza kuti ndiyenera kukhala wamisala chifukwa ndikulongosola malingaliro osiyana ndi omwe muwona, kumva ndi kuwerenga munyuzipepala komanso makanema odziwika masiku ano.
Tsoka ilo kwa ambiri, malingaliro anga ndi olondola 100%.
Ndipo ndikudziwa bwanji izi?
Anthu ambiri amakhalabe muukwati woyipa kapena mwa njira zina
Onani kupenga kwa ubale wachikondi lero. Maukwati oyamba, 55% ya iwo atha ndi chisudzulo.
Maukwati achiwiri? Ziwerengero zimayamwa kwambiri. Malinga ndi kafukufuku wina, 75% ya anthu omwe ali pabanja lachiwiri atha.
Nanga bwanji kuchuluka kwakukulu kwa anthu omwe amangokhalira kugwirizana ndi maukwati omwe ndi oopsa? Kodi amakhala bwanji?
Chifukwa chachikulu ndikuopa kukhala okha. Safuna kunyamula ndi kuyambiranso. Ndibwino kukhala ndi wina pabedi lawo, ngakhale sangayimirane, ndiye kuti mukhale nokha.
Ndipo kodi nzeru imeneyi inachokera kuti?
Kukhala wosakwatira sikutanthauza kukhala wosakwanira
Inu muli nazo izo. Ofalitsa nkhani, mabuku achikondi, mabuku othandizira ena ndi zina zambiri ... Ndani akutitsogolera panjira yakudziwononga potiuza kuti ngati sitinakwatire panali china chake cholakwika ndi ife.
Pafupifupi zaka ziwiri zapitazo bambo wina adandiuza kuti nditsatire maphunziro anga akuti "kudalira anthu ena kumapha", atawona imodzi mwa makanema anga pa YouTube akukamba za kupusitsa kwa kukondana.
Iye anali ndendende mtundu wa munthu, ndipo pali mamiliyoni a anthu omwe amatsatira malingaliro awa, omwe sanafune konse kukhala okha.
Anandiuza mgawo lake loyamba, kuti ngakhale amadziwa kuti china chake sichili bwino ndi njira yake yamoyo, amadana ndikukhala yekha Lachisanu usiku.
Titagwira ntchito kwakanthawi limodzi, anandiuza nthawi ina, "David, kodi cholinga chathu sichikukondana ndi munthu wina, ndipo cholinga chosiyana ndi kukhalapo kwathu ndi kukhala tokha komanso kukhala tokha?"
Ndipo ndizomveka? Nthawi iliyonse pamene anthu ambiri agula mufilosofi, timangoyembekeza kuti ziyenera kukhala zolondola.
Koma tonse ndife olakwika ngati tikhulupirira kuti cholinga chakukhalaku ndikuti "tikhale mchikondi."
Ndipo nchifukwa ninji zili choncho?
Kupanikizika ndikodabwitsa kukhala mchikondi ndi munthu m'moyo
Kupsinjika kumapitilizabe kupangitsa anthu kudumpha kuchokera pa bedi limodzi kupita pa linzake, ubale wina ndi wina, akuwopa kwambiri kukhala paokha m'moyo.
Nzeru zokongola ngati mungandifunse, ndipo zotsatira zake zimatsimikizira kuti ndikulondola.
Chikumbutso chokhazikika chokhala wosakwatiwa chimaponyera anthu mu tizzy
Ngati simuli wosakwatiwa pakadali pano, anzanu amakonda kunena kuti “ndinu osowa kwambiri padziko lonse lapansi, kodi mungakhale bwanji osakwatira?”
Kupsinjika kwamtunduwu, makamaka ndi azimayi, kumawaponyera tizzy ndipo ngati amva zokwanira amugwira mnyamatayo akuyenda mumsewu ndikulowa nawo ubale, womwe udzalephereke, monganso onse akale maubale.
Kudzidalira kodziwononga komanso kudzidalira
Mukakhala ndi zovuta, zamkati, m'maganizo osazindikira, Kunja m'maganizo ozindikira, kuti cholinga chokhala kwanu ndikupeza wokondedwa wanu ndikukhala nawo, ngati simuli pachibwenzi chachikondi, anthu ambiri amamva pamenepo china chake chalakwika ndi iwo.
Amakhala osatetezeka kwambiri. Ayamba kudalira chakudya ngati chowapatsa mphamvu kuti athetse malingaliro awo, kapena mowa, kapena chikonga, kapena wailesi yakanema ...Kapenanso kutchova juga ... Kapena Kugonana, mwanjira ina, samakhala omasuka ndi iwo eni kotero kuti ngati sangapeze wina woti akhale naye, atha kutaya mtima. Zachisoni.
Tsopano, musandilakwitse, ndikuganiza zachikondi, ndi chikondi, komanso kugonana ndi zonse zomwe zimachitika ndi "ubale wachikondi wathanzi", ndizofunikira kwambiri pamoyo, koma sicholinga cha kukhalapo kwathu.
Kodi cholinga chokhala ndi moyo ndi chiyani?
1. Kukhala wothandiza
Kuthandiza ena. Kupanga zabwino padziko lino lapansi. Kusiya miseche ndi chiweruzo kumbuyo.
2. Kukhala wosangalala
Tsopano talingalirani za izo, ndikukhulupirira kuti cholinga chachiwiri chakukhalira kwanu ndikukhala osangalala.
Ngati mwapanikizika chifukwa chokhala osakwatira, kapena ngati muli pachibwenzi china, inu ndi ine tikudziwa kuti palibe njira yomwe mungakhalire osangalala. Ndipo ngati simukusangalala? Ana anu amavutika, ndipo aliyense yemwe muli naye panopo akuvutikanso.
3. Kukhala pamtendere
Ndimauza onse makasitomala anga osakwatiwa omwe akufuula za mtundu wina wachikondi, omwe akufunitsitsa kuti apeze wokondedwa wawo, kuti ngati mungabweretse kukhumudwa kotere kudziko la zibwenzi mudzakopa wina yemwe ndi wamisala monga inu.
Adzakhala osimidwa. Adzakhala osungulumwa Lachisanu usiku kufunafuna aliyense kuti akwaniritse zosowazo. Ndipo mudzayambiranso kusinthasintha kwa ubale wopanda pake wina ndi mnzake.
Umenewo si mtendere konse.
4. Khalani achimwemwe ndi amtendere musanakwatire
Ndikulimbikitsani pamene mukuwerenga nkhaniyi kuti mumvetse mfundo yomaliza iyi: ngati simungapeze chisangalalo chodabwitsa potumikira ena, kukhala osangalala komanso kukhala mwamtendere musanakwatire, simudzakopa munthu wathanzi kudzakhala ubale ndi. Palibe.
Anthu osowa, osatetezeka amakopa owongolera kapena anthu ena omwe ndi osowa komanso osatetezeka. Chinsinsi cha tsoka.
Chifukwa chake upangiri wanga kwa makasitomala anga ndi kwa inu kuti muwerenge nkhaniyi ndikugwiritsa ntchito bulu wanu kuti mupeze mtendere wamumtima nokha ngati simuli pabanja.
Ngati muli pachibwenzi cham'maganizo kapena mwakuthupi, kapena muli pachibwenzi ndi wina yemwe ali ndi vuto losokoneza bongo ndipo sangasamalire, chotsani gehena pompano.
Ndipo kumbukirani zomwe ndatchula pamwambapa, za cholinga chenicheni cha moyo. Kukhala wothandiza. Kukhala osangalala. Kudzazidwa ndi mtendere.
Mutha kudziwa wosakwatiwa, muli paulendo wopeza chifukwa chachinayi chakukhalira kwanu: kukhala mchikondi.
Koma kukhala mchikondi sindiwo mathero amathero onse
Onani anthu ngati Amayi Teresa, Yesu Khristu, Buddha ndipo mndandandawo ukupitilira. Anthu omwe anali osakwatira, osakhala pachibwenzi, koma omwe adapanga kusiyana kwakukulu m'miyoyo yawo komanso mdziko lapansi chifukwa chodzipereka pantchito, chisangalalo, ndi mtendere wamkati.
Mutha kupanga ubale wachikondi wosaneneka pogwira ntchito ndi mabungwe kuti muthandize ana olera, ana omwe anyalanyazidwa, nyama zomwe zikuzunzidwa, kunyalanyazidwa ndi nyama, okalamba omwe anyalanyazidwa, ovutika mwakuthupi ndi m'maganizo omwe anyalanyazidwa.
Chikondi chimabwera mosiyanasiyana, sayenera kukhala "wokondana naye kwambiri yemwe angakonze moyo wanu."
Gwiritsani ntchito bokosilo. Osatsatiranso unyinji
Nthawi yotsatira mukawona buku lomwe limafotokoza za cholinga chakukhalapo kwathu ndikukondana ndi munthu wina, muponyeni gehena m'galimoto yanu.
Ndikudziwa kuti amatchedwa zinyalala, koma mwina ndizomwe zimafunikira kuti athane ndi misala, zomwe zimabwera ndi "kutsatira mtsogoleri", "mtsogoleri ameneyo" zathu.
Kuti pali chosowa ngati sitili pabanja, kuti pali china chake chikusowa ngati tilibe chibwenzi chakuya.
Ndipo mukudziwa chomwe chikusoweka pomwe simungathe kudziwa momwe mungakhalire osangalala nokha? Cholinga cha moyo wanu. "