Zamkati
Pambuyo patatha masabata osatha, mnzanu wayamba kukhala wolimba m'mbali. Sanametenso. Sakuvalanso kamisolo.
Lingaliro lachikondi chosatha limakhala lotaika kwanthawi yayitali, ndipo mwina simumvekanso chikondi chapanthawi yomweyo kwa mnzanu.
Palibe m'modzi mwa inu amene adasamba m'masiku ochepa, ndipo nonse mukuganiza mozama ngati mungayesere shampoo ya "No Poo Method" yonse ndikuyisambitsa ndi njira ina yabwino, monga viniga wa apulo cider kapena soda.
Kupeza chikondi chapompopompo
Maso anu amalepheretsedwa paulendo wanu watsiku ndi tsiku, ndipo, pogwiritsa ntchito mawu a coronavirus, mumasankha "kutalika mtunda" poyenda pakati pa mseu, mapazi asanu kupatula omwe amadutsa mumsewu. Ziphuphu, ziboda zam'chiuno, ndi zokumbatirana m'mbali sizingatheke!
Wokondedwa wanu kunyumba ndi "wotetezeka," koma lingaliro loti nkuwakumbatira lataya chidwi chake. M'malo mwake, malingaliro anu amatembenukira kwa osunga ndalama kugolosale kuti mukondane nawo pompopompo.
Kuyembekezera ndege kupita ku Jamaica limodzi, pomwe kusatsimikizika kwa COVID-19 kwatha, mwadzidzidzi kumawoneka ngati lingaliro losangalatsa. Koma, dikirani miniti. Wosunga ndalama kugolosale?
Kodi ali ndi chiyani chomwe mnzako akusowa? Nanga bwanji za chikondi cha moyo wonse komanso lonjezo la ubale wokhalitsa womwe mwapanga ndi mnzanu?
Zotenga kuchokera kuchikondi chapompopompo
Kodi chikondi chapanthawi yomweyo ndi wobwezetsa ndalama chingatiphunzitse chiyani za chikondi chosatha? Chinthu choyamba chomwe wothandizira ndalama wochezeka amachita kasitomala akafika 'Zindikirani.'
Kumwetulira kwawo ndi kuyang'anizana kwawo kwa inu kumatha kukhala kokwanira kupangitsa chidwi. Anthu mwachibadwa amakhala ndi anzawo; timakonda kuwonedwa.Kuyanjana ndi ena "ndizomwe tidapangidwira kuti tichite, ndipo timazichita osayesa kuchita izi ..." (Mitchell, 2002, p. 66).
Akatswiri azamisala omwe amaphunzira maubale kwanthawi yayitali awona momwe ana amakhala osatonthozedwa makolo akamakana chidwi powayang'ana mosayang'ana ndi "nkhope yowonekabe" (Tronick, 2009).
Onerani kanemayu poyeserera nkhope:
Chifukwa chake, mukamalowa pakhomo ndikuyenda musangonena kuti "Ndabwera!" ndi kuthamangira ku kompyuta yanu. Zindikirani mnzako. Apeze, ayang'ane m'maso, ndikumwetulira!
Monga "chopingasa chachilendo chopingasa" (Mitchell, p. 76), pomwe zokumana nazo zathu zamkati ndi zakunja zimapangidwanso wina ndi mnzake, mukamwetulira ndi mnzanu, sangamve kulumikizana kokha.
M'malo mwake, akamwetuliranso, mudzamvanso.
Chotsatira yemwe wothandizira ndalama wochezeka adzachita ndi 'nkhani ' kwa inu. Makamaka, iye atero funsani funso. "Mukuganiza bwanji za zokometsera?" kapena "Mukukhala bwanji wathanzi nthawi ya COVID-19?"
Monga kuzindikira, kufunsa mafunso ndi njira yosavuta yolumikizirana. Akatswiri azamaukwati a Julie ndi a John Gottman adapanga lingaliro la "Mapu Achikondi."
Kafukufuku wa a Gottmans adawonetsa kuti maanja olimba mtima "adapanga" mapu a ubale wawo ndi mbiri yawo - yomwe imakhudza nkhawa za munthu aliyense, zomwe amakonda, zokumana nazo, komanso zenizeni. " (Gottman & Gottman, 2019).
Adaganiza zopanga masewera olimbitsa thupi pomwe maanja amafunsana mafunso otseguka. Mwachitsanzo, kodi mumakonda nyengo yanji? Kodi mumalakalaka kukwaniritsa chiyani zaka khumi zikubwerazi?
Kodi mumakonda chiyani popanga chikondi? Kotero, mutazindikira kuti mnzanuyo akumwetulira, afunseni funso limodzi kapena awiri. Kenako, yang'anani mwatcheru ndikumvetsera yankho lawo.
Kumwetulira komanso kufunsa mafunso kungakupangitseni ulendo wopatsa chidwi wopita ku Jamaica ndi amene amakupatsani ndalama wochezeka, koma mwina sizingakhale zokwanira kukhalabe ndi chikondi kwa moyo wanu wonse.
Upangiri wazaka zambiri
Kupeza chikondi chenicheni ndikosavuta poyerekeza ndi kusungabe ubale wapamtima. Ndiye, nchiyani chimapangitsa kuti ubale ukhale wolimba?
Zokondana zosatha zimakula ngati pali mgwirizano pakati pa okondedwa.
Kumvetsetsa ndi kusamalirana pamkhalidwe wamaganizidwe amalimbitsa ubale. Kuzindikira zomwe mukumva, kudziwa zomwe mumamva popanda kukulepheretsani, ndikugawana zomwe mukumva ndi munthu wina ndichinthu chodziwika bwino.
Kukhala wokhoza "kudziwa zomwe munthu akumva ndikukhala ndi zotsatirapo zake" ndi chiyembekezo chomwe akatswiri ena ama psychology amawona ngati cholinga cha psychotherapy (Jurist, 2018, p. x). Kudziwika kungatithandizire kukhala omasuka komanso otetezeka tikakhala pachibwenzi.
Chifukwa chake, pitirizani, ndipo sinthani chidwi chanu kuchokera pakukondana nthawi yomweyo kupita kuchikondi chosatha.
Mukamamwetulira ndikufunsa mnzanu mafunso angapo okhudzana nawo, bola ngati sangapatsidwe kwaokha, muwakumbatire mwachisawawa.
Kukonda kwakanthawi kopeza ndalama kwaubwenzi kumatha kusangalatsa lero, koma m'kupita kwanthawi, kuyesayesa komwe kumayikidwa mchikondi chokhazikika kumakhala kopindulitsa kwambiri.
Kutchulidwa: Jurist, E. (2018) Maganizo Olingalira- Kukulitsa Maganizo mu Psychotherapy. New York; Gilford Press