Zamkati
- Kodi kusatsimikizika kwa ubale kumatanthauza chiyani?
- Kodi chibwenzi chimakhala chachilendo?
- Nchiyani chimayambitsa kusatsimikizika muubwenzi?
- Njira 15 zothanirana ndi kusatsimikizika kwa maubwenzi
- 1. Lankhulani momveka bwino
- 2. Pewani kufuna kwanu kuwongolera
- 3. Lumikizanani ndi malingaliro anu
- 4. Pewani kunyoza za wokondedwa wanu
- 5. Khalani otanganidwa kwambiri ndi okondedwa wanu
- 6. Yesetsani kuphunzira chilankhulo chachikondi cha mnzanu
- 7. Yesetsani kudzisamalira
- 8. Siyani ziyembekezo zazikulu
- 9. Unikani komwe kukayikira kukuchokera
- 10. Vomerezani kuti si maubale onse omwe amagwira ntchito
- 11. Osayika mazira ako onse mudengu limodzi
- 12. Kuthetsa mantha anu
- 13. Khalani owolowa manja kwambiri ndi okondedwa wanu
- 14. Pitani kwa wina kuti akuthandizeni
- 15. Ganizirani ngati malingaliro anu ndi mbendera zofiira
- Mapeto
Kusatsimikizika kwa maubwenzi kumatha kubweretsa nkhawa. Simungadziwe komwe mumayima ndi mnzanu wofunika, ndipo mwina mungakhale mukuganiza kuti akumva bwanji za inu.
Kusatsimikizika kwaubwenzi kungapangitsenso kuti mufunse ngati ubale wanu ndi woyenera kwa inu komanso ngati mukufuna kukhala ndi anzanu ena ofunika. Tsoka ilo, kusatsimikiza za chibwenzi kumatha kukupangitsani kukankhira anthu omwe angakhale zibwenzi zawo kutali chifukwa mwina mungaone ngati mukufunika kudziteteza kuti musavulale.
Ngati mwakhala mukukumana ndi kusatsimikizika kwa ubale, mutha kuchitapo kanthu kuti muthane ndi vutoli ndikukhala omasuka bwino.
Kulimbana ndi kusatsimikizika kwaubwenzi kungakuthandizeninso kudziwa ngati ubalewo ungatanthauzidwe kuthana ndi zovuta zomwe mukukumana nazo kapena ngati siwoyenera kwa inu.
Kodi kusatsimikizika kwa ubale kumatanthauza chiyani?
Kusatsimikizika muubwenzi kumatha kufotokozedwa ngati boma lomwe mumakhala ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana.
Kumbali imodzi, mutha kumva kuti muli ndi ubale wokhutiritsa komanso kulumikizana kwambiri ndi mnzanu. Mosiyana ndi izi, mbali inayi, simungakhale otsimikiza kuti ena anu ofunika alidi mwa inu kapena akufuna kukhala nanu nthawi yayitali.
Muthanso kukayikira ngati chibwenzicho ndi cholondola komanso ngati mukusangalala ndi wina wanu wamkulu. Kuphatikiza apo, mutha kuda nkhawa zakuti chibwenzicho chidzapita mtsogolo, kaya chidzakhalapo kapena ayi, komanso ngati mnzanu amakukondani.
Kusatsimikizika kumatha kukhalanso ngati kusatetezeka pachibwenzi. Mutha kumva kuti wokondedwa wanu amasangalatsidwa ndi anthu ena kapena atatsala pang'ono kukusiyani.
Kusatsimikizika kumeneku kumatha kukupangitsani kuti mukhale owonera kwambiri ndikusanthula kulumikizana kulikonse komwe mungakhale nako ndi ena anu chifukwa simukudziwa momwe akumvera. Mukuyesera kukhala ndiulamuliro wochuluka pa chibwenzi.
Kodi chibwenzi chimakhala chachilendo?
Tonse takhala ndi mantha ndi maubale athu nthawi ndi nthawi. Kupatula apo, ambiri aife timafuna kukhazikika muubwenzi wosangalala, wopambana, ndipo mantha athu opwetekedwa atha kutipangitsa kukayikira ngati wina yemwe tili naye adadzipereka kwa ife.
Izi zikunenedwa, kusatsimikizika kwakanthawi pamaubale ndi pafupifupi. Simungathe kuwongolera mtima wa wina kapena kutsimikiza momwe angachitire chilichonse, kuti nthawi zina muzimva kuti mulibe chitsimikizo.
Kuphatikiza apo, moyo umasintha nthawi zonse, zomwe ndi zomwe mungakhale otsimikiza nthawi iliyonse. Simungadziwe zomwe zingakulepheretseni inu ndi anzanu ena mtsogolo, komanso simungadziwire momwe chibwenzicho chidzapitirire pakapita nthawi.
Popeza izi, kukhala osatsimikiza kapena kusatsimikiza zaubwenzi ndi gawo chabe la moyo. Ngakhale kusatsimikizika kwina kuli kozolowereka komanso kuyembekezeredwa, zomwe sizachilendo ndikuti mukakhala ndi kusatsimikizika kwakuti simungathe kulumikizana ndi anthu.
Ngati muli ndi malingaliro osatsimikizika otere, mumakankhira abwenzi atsopano kutali kapena mumapeza kuti mukutanganidwa kwambiri ndi ubale wanu. Pali vuto lina, monga zovuta zomwe sizinathetsedwe kuyambira ali mwana kapena ubale wakale, zomwe mukubweretsa patebulopo.
Nchiyani chimayambitsa kusatsimikizika muubwenzi?
Kusatsimikizika kwa maubwenzi ndi gawo lachilengedwe lomwe limabwera chifukwa chofuna kudziteteza.
Anthu ambiri amakhala otanganidwa kwambiri kuti akwaniritse ubale wabwino kotero kuti amakhala ndi nkhawa m'mabwenzi, chifukwa amakhala ndi nkhawa kuti ubale wawo wapano ungathe. Sadzapeza "imodzi."
Nthawi zina, kusatsimikizika kwa ubale kumatha kukhala koopsa ndipo kumadza chifukwa chovuta. Mwachitsanzo, anthu ena atha kukhala ndi nkhawa, zomwe zitha kuchititsa mantha kuti adzasiyidwa ndikumverera kuti ubale uyenera kulephera nthawi yaying'ono ikadzionetsera.
Mtundu wopanda cholumikizira ungakhalepo chifukwa cha kuzunzidwa kwa ana ndi kunyalanyazidwa kapena chisamaliro chosagwirizana kuchokera kwa makolo kapena owasamalira ena ali mwana.
Kusatsimikizika kumathanso chifukwa cha izi:
- Mukuwona kuti mnzanu sakungokuthandizani.
- Wokondedwa wanu amachita zinthu zomwe simukuzikonda.
- Pakhoza kukhala kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pa inu ndi mnzanu.
- Mutha kukhala ndi zovuta, monga ziyembekezo zosatheka, zomwe mumabweretsa pagome.
Njira 15 zothanirana ndi kusatsimikizika kwa maubwenzi
Kumva kuopa kusatsimikizika kumayembekezereka muubwenzi, pamlingo winawake, koma kukhala ndi nkhawa mozungulira kukayikira kumatha kukhala kovuta.
Ngati mukumana ndi kusatsimikizika nthawi zonse muubwenzi, ganizirani njira zotsatirazi momwe mungathetsere kusakhazikika muubwenzi:
1. Lankhulani momveka bwino
Ngati mukukumana ndi kusatsimikizika pa chibwenzi, khalani ndi nthawi yolankhulana ndi mnzanu zomwe mukuopa.
Zitha kukhala kuti nkhawa zimangokhala chifukwa cha kusamvetsetsana komwe kungathetsedwe pokambirana. Ngati mubisa zakukhosi kwanu, mumatha kupsa mtima, ndipo vutolo silidzathetsedwa.
2. Pewani kufuna kwanu kuwongolera
Nthawi zina kusatsimikizika kwa maubwenzi kumatha kukulirakulira chifukwa chofuna kuwongolera. Kupereka kufunika kokhala olamulira kungakuthandizeni kuthana ndi zina mwazimenezi.
Mukalola zinthu kuchitika mwachilengedwe, mudzawona kuti nkhawa zanu zimatha.
3. Lumikizanani ndi malingaliro anu
Nthawi zina, kusatsimikizika kwa ubale kumatha kubwera chifukwa chovuta kuzindikira momwe mukumvera, ndipo mutha kuthetsa kusatsimikizika ngati mutachita bwino kuzindikira zomwe mukumva.
Mwinamwake mumamva chisoni ndi chinachake, kapena mwinamwake mukukumana ndi mavuto chifukwa mkwiyo ukukula.
Nthawi zambiri, kutengeka kumalumikizidwa ndikumverera kwakuthupi, ndipo kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti anthu omwe ali ndi vuto la kupsinjika amatha kuvutika kuti azindikire kuthupi kumeneku m'thupi.
Ngati mukukayikira za chibwenzi chanu, mungaganizire ngati china chake chikuchitika.
4. Pewani kunyoza za wokondedwa wanu
Mukakhala kuti mulibe chitsimikizo pachibwenzi, mutha kufotokoza zakukondana kwanu ndikuwaneneza pazinthu zina. Izi zimangoyendetsa pakati panu ndikupangitsani kuti musamakayikire kwenikweni.
Pewani kuuza mnzanu kuti, "Simundisamala!" kapena kuneneza ngati, "Nthawi zonse mumanyalanyaza momwe ndimamvera!" m'malo mwake gwiritsani ntchito "Ine zonena."
Mwachitsanzo, mutha kugawana nawo malingaliro ngati, "Ndikumva ngati malingaliro anga sanavomerezedwe posachedwa."
5. Khalani otanganidwa kwambiri ndi okondedwa wanu
Pamene maubwenzi akupita patsogolo, abwenzi mwachilengedwe amatha kuyamba kutha chifukwa chisangalalo cha ubale watsopano chimatha.
Ngati mukukhala kuti mukupanga mapulani popanda mnzanu kapena kulephera kuwaphatikiza pamoyo wanu watsiku ndi tsiku, itha kukhala nthawi yoti musinthe.
Kukhala okangalika wina ndi mnzake kumatha kuchotsa zina zakusatsimikizika komwe muli nako. Aitaneni kuti adzayende nanu limodzi, kubwera kudzadya nawo limodzi ndi anzanu, kapena kudzayeseza limodzi limodzi, ndipo onetsetsani kuti mukuwasinthiratu za tsiku lanu.
6. Yesetsani kuphunzira chilankhulo chachikondi cha mnzanu
Nthawi zina kulumikizana pakati pa abwenzi ndi malingaliro osatsimikizika muubwenzi zimachokera kwa anthu awiri omwe amalankhula zilankhulo zosiyanasiyana zachikondi. Dr. Gary Chapman adapanga zilankhulo zisanu zachikondi, zomwe zimafotokoza njira zomwe anthu amakonda kukondedwa.
Mwachitsanzo, chilankhulo chanu chachikondi chingakhale kukhudza, pomwe mnzanu amamva kuti amakukondani chifukwa chomugwirira ntchito kapena mumawachitira zabwino.
Ngati mukuyesera kulumikizana ndi mnzanu m'njira yosayenera kwa iwo, kusatsimikizika kumatha kukula muubwenzi. Yesetsani kuphunzira chilankhulo chachikondi cha mnzanu, kuti muthe kukwaniritsa zosowa za wina ndi mnzake ndikuchotsa zina zosatsimikizika.
7. Yesetsani kudzisamalira
Nthawi zina anthu amadalira kwambiri anzawo omwe amayembekezera kuti akwaniritsa zosowa zawo zonse.
Ngati mukuloleza kuti chisangalalo chanu chizidalira mnzanu, ndizachilengedwe kuti muzikhala osatsimikiza nthawi zina chifukwa palibe munthu m'modzi yemwe angakwaniritse zosowa zanu zonse kapena kukupangitsani kukhala osangalala nthawi 100%.
Kutenga nthawi yodzisamalira kumatha kukupangitsani kumva bwino za inu ndikuwonjezera chidaliro chanu pachibwenzi.
Kuti mudziwe zambiri zamomwe mungadzisamalire, onani vidiyo iyi:
8. Siyani ziyembekezo zazikulu
Ngati mugwirizira wokondedwa wanu ku miyezo yosatheka, mwayi wake ndikuti akukhumudwitsani nthawi ndi nthawi, zomwe zingapangitse kuti muzifunsa kuti, "Nchifukwa chiyani ndikukayikira chibwenzi changa?"
Lekani kuyembekezera ungwiro kuchokera kwa mnzanu ndikuvomereza momwe alili, ndipo mudzapeza kuti kuthana ndi kusatsimikizika ndi nkhawa kumakhala kosavuta.
9. Unikani komwe kukayikira kukuchokera
Nthawi zina mumatha kudzimva kukhala opanda chiyembekezo muubwenzi chifukwa wokondedwa wanu ali ndi zikhalidwe zomwe zimawoneka ngati zosiyana kwambiri ndi zanu.
Mwachitsanzo, mungakonde kuchuluka kwa magwiridwe antchito 9 mpaka 5 komanso momwe moyo umakhalira, pomwe mnzanuyo amakhala akugwira ntchito kunyumba ndikukhazikitsa ndandanda yawo mosasinthasintha.
Ngati pali kusiyana kwakukulu pakati panu komwe kwapangitsa kuti musamakhulupirire zaubwenzi wanu, onetsetsani ngati awa ndiomwe akupangana kapena zinthu zomwe mungavomereze.
10. Vomerezani kuti si maubale onse omwe amagwira ntchito
Muyenera kusiya kukhumudwa ndikudzimva kuti ndinu wosatsimikizika ndipo m'malo mwake muphunzire kuzikumbatira.
Dziwani kuti chibwenzi sichitha, ndipo mvetsetsani kuti kaya zichitika kapena ayi, moyo upitilira, ndipo mutha kupeza njira yosangalalira.
11. Osayika mazira ako onse mudengu limodzi
Ngati mukuganiza kuti mukufuna chibwenzi choyenera kuti mukhale osangalala, ganiziraninso. Ngati mukuyika chisangalalo chanu chonse ngati chibwenzicho chitha kapena sichingachitike, zovuta zilizonse zomwe zingabweretse zimabweretsa kusakhulupirika kwaubwenzi.
M'malo mwake, vomerezani kuti ubale wanu siwo chinthu chokha chomwe mwakhala mukuchita, ndipo phunzirani kupeza chisangalalo muzokonda zanu, anzanu, komanso moyo wanu.
12. Kuthetsa mantha anu
Tonse tili ndi zibwenzi zakale, zina zomwe zimatha kukhala ndi katundu wambiri. Ngati mukukumana ndi kusatsimikizika kwakanthawi pamaubwenzi, itha kukhala nthawi yowunika ngati izi
kumverera kumabwera chifukwa cha mantha anu okanidwa.
Yakwana nthawi yoti athane ndi mantha awa, chifukwa chake samadutsana ndi ubale wapano.
13. Khalani owolowa manja kwambiri ndi okondedwa wanu
Mwina kusatsimikizika kwanu pa chibwenzi kwakupangitsani kuti muchoke kwa wokondedwa wanu osadzipereka kwa iwo. Ngati ndi choncho, khalani ndi nthawi yowolowa manja kwa iwo.
Khalani omasukirana ndi mawu anu achikondi, ndipo khalani ofunitsitsa kuchita zinthu kuti moyo wawo ukhale wosavuta. Izi zitha kukupangitsani kuti musiyane ndikudzimva kukhala wosatsimikizika.
14. Pitani kwa wina kuti akuthandizeni
Mukayamba kudzifunsa kuti, "Kodi kukayika mu chibwenzi ndikwabwino?" Mutha kupita kwa mnzanu kuti mukambirane zakukhosi kwanu.
Zitha kukupatsirani mawonekedwe atsopano ngati malingaliro anu ndi abwinobwino kapena vuto lalikulu lomwe liyenera kuthetsedwa. Nthawi zomwe simukuwoneka kuti mukugwedeza malingaliro anu osatsimikizika, mutha kupindulanso kuwona wothandizira akugwira ntchito momwe mukumvera.
15. Ganizirani ngati malingaliro anu ndi mbendera zofiira
Kusatsimikizika kwa maubwenzi kumayembekezereka, koma ngati mukumva kuti chibwenzi chanu sichili bwino, thupi lanu lingayesere kukuchenjezani kuti ubalewo siuwo.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati mukuwona kuti nthawi zambiri mumakhala okhumudwa ndi mnzanu kapena mumaopa kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu, mwina mukukumana ndi zambiri kuposa kusatsimikizika. Mutha kukhala mumkhalidwe womwe ungakhale poizoni.
Kusatsimikizika kwanu kungakhale chifukwa cha mbendera zofiira, monga zizindikilo zakukhumudwitsidwa kapena kukuchitilani nkhanza, pomwe chisankho chanu chabwino mwina chingathetse chibwenzicho.
Mapeto
Kukhazikika pansi ndi bwenzi lanu kwa moyo wanu wonse ndi nkhani yayikulu, chifukwa chake sizachilendo kukhala ndi malingaliro osatsimikizika muubwenzi.
Mukayamba kudzikayikira, ndikofunikira kulingalira momwe mukumvera. Atha kukhala obwera mwachilengedwe pamavuto omwe amabwera chifukwa cha chibwenzi chanu, kapena atha kubwera chifukwa chodzikayikira kwanu.
Mulimonse momwe zingakhalire, pali zomwe mungachite kuti muchepetse kukayika kwanu ndikuwona ngati chibwenzicho chili choyenera.