Zamkati
M'chilimwechi, ine ndi chibwenzi changa tinapita ku Europe. Tidakhala ndi masiku asanu okongola, achikondi ku Paris, ndipo titafika ku Barcelona, tidadzutsidwa mwamwano kutsika kuchokera ku Cloud 9 ndipo tidakumana ndi zovuta zina paubwenzi. Sizinali zazikulu - zolumikizana zanu zoyambira zomwe zimakulira ndi anthu awiri ovuta, koma adakhalapo ndikukula moyo wawo mpaka tidatha kuwapumitsa.
Takhala limodzi pafupifupi zaka ziwiri, ndipo tonse tili pantchito yamaganizidwe (ine, wololeza wa Banja ndi Banja; iye ndi PhD mu Psychology yokhala ndi ukadaulo wamaganizidwe abwino ndikukwiya). Mutha kuganiza kuti, mwa mabanja onse, tidzakhala ndi zida zonse padziko lapansi kuti tikhale ndi ubale wangwiro, wopanda mavuto. Nthawi zambiri zimakhala zowona, komabe, zokhumudwitsa zathu, ndife anthu pambuyo pake. Ndipo ndi umunthu umenewo kumadza zotengeka zenizeni, zomverera, komanso zokumana nazo zomwe ngakhale timazindikira komanso kuthekera kolankhulana mwachifundo, nthawi zina titha kukhala ndi malingaliro opwetekedwa, kusamvetsetsana komanso njira zomwe zitha kuyambiranso kuchokera kumabanja athu akale ngakhalenso ubwana wathu.
Tili patchuthi ndikugwira ntchito paubwenzi wathu, ndidazindikira kuti Chikondi Sikokwanira. Kuwononga! Kuzindikira kumeneku kunandigunda mutu ndikuwona zomwe zonse zidandipangitsa kukhala wachisoni komanso wolimbikitsidwa kupitiliza kugwiritsa ntchito zida zopangira ndikusunga ubale wabwino, wachikondi komanso wokhalitsa.
Nthawi yakumvana, kusalumikizana bwino, kukhumudwa, kukwiya, kukhumudwitsidwa, chisoni, kusinthasintha kwamalingaliro, kapena njira zokakamira, kubwerera ku maziko anu achikondi ndikuyamikira ndikofunikira kwambiri. Koma chofunikira kuti muchoke pagawoli ndi momwe mukufunira pitiranani wina ndi mnzake pakabuka zovuta. Ndikosavuta kuyang'ana pa chikondi ndi zinthu zonse zabwino pamene moyo ukuyenda mosavuta.Koma tikakhala ndi nkhawa, ndipo tikumva kuti ndizosatheka kutuluka mwa mphamvu yake, kuthekera kofikira mnzanuyo mwakuthupi, mwamalingaliro, kapena mwamphamvu, ndizovuta koma ndizofunikira.
Zoyenera kuchita nthawi yovuta?
Wofufuza zaukwati wodziwika John Gottman akunena za njirayi monga kukonza zoyesayesa. Zitsanzo zamagulu 6 oyeserera omwe Gottman adalemba ndi awa:
- Ndikumva
- Pepani
- Fikani ku inde
- Ndikufuna kukhazika mtima pansi
- Siyani kuchitapo kanthu
- Ndikuyamikira
Mawu amkati mwamagawo awa ali ngati zotumphukira zothamangitsa zomwe zikuchitika ndikutilola kuyankha mokoma mtima, mwachifundo, ndi cholinga. Kulankhula kosavuta kuposa kuchita, ndikudziwa! Koma kupanga danga lokonzekera ndikofunikira kuti tituluke muzinthu zoyipa zomwe zikuwonjezeka.
Ganizirani kuthetsa mavutowo
Mavuto ena amabwera pamene inu kapena mnzanu mukumira kwambiri kotero kuti simumva ngati kulandila zoyeserera za wokondedwa wanu. Koma kutchula kuzindikira kumeneku kungakhale njira imodzi yothandizira kuthana ndi vutoli. Kukhala wokhoza kunena kwa mnzako, “Izi sizophweka; Ndikumva kukhala wokakamira kuti ndikufikireni pakadali pano, koma ndikudziwa kuti ndikuthokoza pamapeto pake zomwe ndidachita, ”kumafuna kulimba mtima komanso kusatetezeka. Koma ndikudziwanso kuti kukhalabe wolimba kumatha kukhala kovuta kwambiri. Ndipo monga luso lirilonse, limakhala locheperako ndipo muyenera kulimbikitsa zida zothandizirana ndi ubale.
Kuyesayesa kwathu kokakonza komwe tinali ku Barcelona ndi komwe kunatilola kuti tisiyike ndikupitilizabe kusangalala ndi tchuthi chathu. Nthawi zina, zoyeserazo zimawoneka mosiyana: chinali kuthekera kutchula zomwe timamva; otambasulani manja anu; pemphani malo oti atithandizire kuzindikira malingaliro athu; lemekezani kuti iyi inali njira yovuta; perekani kukumbatira; Pepani chifukwa cha mbali yathu yolumikizana; fotokozani malo athu; kuvomereza momwe izi zidayambitsira bala lakale ... Kuyeseraku kumabwerabe mpaka pomwe timatha kumva kuti timamvetsetsa, kutsimikizika ndi kumva, motero kubwerera ku "zachilendo." Palibe kukonzanso kwamatsenga kamodzi komwe kumapangitsa kuti zonsezi zikhale bwino, koma ndinali wonyadira nafe kupitiliza izi.
Kungakhale kosavuta kuti maanja azitseka chifukwa chiopsezo ndi kutseguka kofunikira pakukonza nthawi zambiri kumamverera kuti ndi zopanikiza, chifukwa chake zimawasunga pamalo olakwika. Ndipo ngati zoyeserera zam'mbuyomu zalephera, pangakhale kuzengereza kuyesanso. Koma, kwenikweni ... pali njira yanji, koma kuyesabe? Chifukwa tsoka, chikondi sichikwanira!