Zamkati
Poganizira momwe chikhalidwe chimafotokozera amuna, wina akhoza kudabwa chifukwa chake padziko lapansi amuna ena sangakonde kugonana. Komabe, izi sizachilendo, ayi. Pali zifukwa zambiri zakuchepa kwa chilakolako chogonana mwa amuna okwatirana ndipo ndizovuta komanso zolumikizana. Zina ndizokhudzana ndi ubale, ndipo zina sizili choncho. Ndipo onse ali ndi mayankho osiyana pang'ono, omwe ndikofunikira kuti mumvetsetse. Tiyeni tiwone zifukwa zinayi zikuluzikuluzi zomwe zingachitikire banja lanu.
1. Kutaya chidwi
Tiyeni titenge yayikuluyo poyamba. Amayi ambiri, amuna awo akafunanso kuti asagonane nawo, amangoganiza kuti salinso okongola. Ngakhale, monga tidzakambirana pang'ono, izi zitha kukhala ndipo nthawi zambiri zimakhala ndi zifukwa zina, izi ndizofunikanso. Komabe, musataye mtima nthawi yomweyo, popeza palinso njira zothetsera vutoli.
Ngakhale amuna ena, mofanana ndi akazi ena, amakhala ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndipo amakhala osakhudzidwa kwenikweni pankhani yosagonana, mwina mwamuna wanu sali choncho. Ngati amagonana nanu, mwina sizili choncho tsopano. Ndiye chasintha ndi chiyani?
Tsoka ilo, amuna amafunitsitsa kuti asinthe anzawo kuti aziwonjezera mwayi wopatsira majini awo. Chimene chingakhale chifukwa chomwe adataya chikhumbo cha kwa inu.
Komabe, njira yomwe chikhumbo chake chidatsikira, itha kuyikidwanso. Muukwati, chilakolako cha kugonana ndi nkhani yovuta. Ndizosakaniza momwe banjali limagwirira ntchito paliponse, la kukongola kwakuthupi, ndi kuyesayesa kwakukulu komwe kumayikidwa kuti akhalebe ndi zibwenzi m'banjamo. Onani kuti ndi chimodzi mwazinthu ziti zomwe zingawononge chikhumbo chake kwa inu ndikupeza njira zochitira.
2. Chibwenzi
Chifukwa china chachikulu chomwe amuna samafunira zogonana ndi mantha akulu kwambiri azimayi onse, ndikuti amuna awo safuna kugona naye chifukwa ali wokhutira - ndi wina.
Ngakhale kusakhulupirika ndi vuto lalikulu komanso losautsa paubwenzi uliwonse komanso kwa munthu wonamizidwa, zonse sizitayika.
Inde, nthawi zina abambo amayamba kusintha mchitidwe wawo wogonana ndi akazi awo popanda chifukwa chenicheni. Ndipo inde, nthawi zina izi zimachitika chifukwa chokhala ndi chibwenzi.
Kuchira msanga pachibwenzi ndichimodzi mwazinthu zovuta kwambiri zomwe mungakumane nazo. Komabe, ndizotheka. Muyenera kuyesetsa kukhululuka, kumangidwanso, pakuthana ndi zifukwa zomwe zidamupangitsa kuti ayambe kucheza ndi mkazi wina (kapena akazi). Ndipo, chofunikira, muyenera kupeza njira yobwererana pogonana.
Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti azimayi, atapatsidwa kusiyana kwakusinthika, zimawapangitsa kukhala kosavuta kukhululuka chigololo. Amasankhanso nthawi zambiri kuti asathetse chibwenzicho. Chifukwa chake, ngati mungaganize zopitiliza ndi banja lanu, ndibwino kuwona wothandizira yemwe akudziwa momwe angakuthandizireni kuthana ndi zovuta zonse, kusatetezeka, malingaliro owonera zinthu, ndi zina zonse zomwe zimabwera m'maganizo mwanu ndikukulepheretsani kuti mubwezeretse moyo wogonana.
3. Kusowa chitetezo
Amayi ambiri omwe amuna awo amasiya pang'onopang'ono kuonetsa chidwi chofuna kugona nawo amawauza kuti panali zikwangwani panjira. Mwinamwake sanali kugonana kuyambira pachiyambi. Kapenanso amawoneka osatetezeka kwambiri ngakhale atalandira chizindikiro chotsutsana ndi bwenzi lawo lakale. Tsoka ilo, nkhawa zamtunduwu zimatha kuwonjezeka pakapita nthawi ngati sizinafikiridwe moyenera.
Amuna amavutika ndi kukhudzidwa (nthawi zambiri kothandizidwa ndi machitidwe azimayi) kuti kudziwika kwawo ndi kufunikira kwawo kumawonetsedwa pakugonana kwawo.
Izi, ndizomveka, nthawi zambiri zimatha kubweretsa zovuta zambiri mchipinda chogona. Monga njira yothanirana ndi izi, amuna ena amangosankha kupewa zovuta zomwe zimayambitsa nkhawa. Kusamvetsetsa bwino momwe zinthu zilili ndi momwe mkazi amayankhira zimangopangitsa zinthu kupita patsogolo, chifukwa chake kufunafuna chithandizo cha akatswiri ndi njira yoyenera kuthana ndi vutoli laukwati wopanda chiwerewere.
4. Chilakolako choyera chomwe sichimayankhidwa
Kumbali ina ya zinthu ndizomwe zimachitika amuna akakhala ndi chilakolako chogonana, koma sagwirizana ndi wokondedwa wawo. Kumayambiriro kwaubwenzi wawo mwina onse anali mgulu lachiwerewere. Mwapadera, amuna ambiri nthawi zina amangofuna kulumpha mpaka kugonana kotulutsa fupa chifukwa cha chilakolako chenicheni.
Amayi akapanda kubwezera kufunika kogonana, ichi chingakhale chimodzi mwazifukwa zomwe sangakondere.
Ndipo azimayi ambiri samangotsatira izi, makamaka atakhala zaka zambiri ali m'banja komanso ntchito zambiri zatsiku ndi tsiku komanso zopanikiza. Pofuna kuthana ndi vutoli, komanso kupewa ena ambiri omwe amabwera chifukwa chakugonana (monga kupewa kugonana, kuyamba ndi izi), yesetsani kulankhula zosowa zanu momasuka. Kambiranani zomwe mungachite limodzi ngati banja, komanso ngati anthu paubwenzi, kuti zinthu zisangalatse nonse.