Zamkati
- Kodi ubwenzi wapamtima nchiyani?
- Chifukwa chiyani kukondana ndikofunikira m'banja?
- Momwe mungakhalire ndiubwenzi wapamtima muubwenzi wanu
- 1. Khulupirirani mnzanu mosasamala
- 2. Dziwani chifukwa chake muli padziko lapansi, komanso ndi munthu ameneyu
- 3. Ganizani mozama
- 4. Khalani munthawiyo
- Monga Oprah anenera, khalani okonzeka kwambiri
Ubwenzi wabwino ndichinthu chambiri pazinthu zambiri, zomwe mwanjira zabwino zogonana, kulumikizana kwabwino pakati pa anthu awiri omwe akukhudzidwa, mgwirizano pakati pawo, komanso kukulitsa kukondana kwambiri.
Yoyamba nthawi zambiri imakhala yosavuta kuyisamalira, makamaka mzaka zoyambirira za chibwenzi pomwe kugonana kwatsopano, kosangalatsa ndipo banjali likuphunzira mosangalala momwe thupi limagwirira ntchito komanso kuyankha. Chachiwiri, kulumikizana, kumatha kukhala kovuta kuchilimbitsa nthawi zina mbanja, makamaka zikafika povuta, koma maanja omwe amayesetsa kuphatikiza njira zoyankhulirana zabwino amapeza kuti izi zimawathandiza kukhala achimwemwe. Kugwirira ntchito limodzi, kaya mukulera ana kapena mukuchita zinthu zoswa malamulo, ndi gawo lofunikira kuti banja lanu likhale losangalala. Koma chinthu chachinayi-kuyanjana-kwenikweni zikutanthauza chiyani? Pali mabuku ambiri omwe amafalitsidwa momwe mungachitire zogonana, momwe mungakulitsire maluso anu olankhulirana komanso momwe mungagwirire ntchito limodzi, koma kodi alipo amene adalemba Buku la Emotional Intimacy Book?
Kodi ubwenzi wapamtima nchiyani?
Ubwenzi wapamtima umachokera pakulankhula bwino. Uku ndikumatha kuzindikira ndikulankhula zakukhosi kwanu ndi wokondedwa wanu ndikulola kuzindikira ndikumvetsera mnzanuyo akakuuzani zakukhosi kwake.
Chifukwa chiyani kukondana ndikofunikira m'banja?
Popanda kulumikizana kwambiri, banjali ndi losakwanira ndipo mwina sangakhale limodzi kwanthawi yayitali. Kugonana kwabwino kumangokhala ndiubwenzi kwa nthawi yayitali. Payenera kukhala maziko osinthana maganizo kuti banjali likule pamodzi, kudziwana kwathunthu, ndi kulolezana danga lowonetsera chiopsezo popanda kuwopa kunyozedwa kapena kuchititsidwa manyazi. Kukondana kwamaganizidwe kumalola okwatirana kuti akhale owona moona mtima kwa 100% wina ndi mnzake, ndipo akumvabe kuti amakondedwa komanso otetezeka.
Momwe mungakhalire ndiubwenzi wapamtima muubwenzi wanu
Amayi amadziwika kuti ndi amuna kapena akazi omwe amakhala "otengeka mtima" komanso osavuta kufotokoza malingaliro. Ndiwo omwe amawasamalira, akumamvetsera moleza mtima mwana akakumana ndi tsiku loipa kapena kusokonezeka mumtima. Amagwira ntchito kuti atulutse zokhumba za mnzawoyo ngati sali munthu wofotokoza zakukhosi mwachibadwa.
Komabe, kuti okwatirana azigwira ntchito bwino, sangakhale mayi yekhayo amene akugwira ntchito molimbika kuti agwirizane. Zikatero, zotsatira zake zimakhala mkwiyo ndi mkwiyo, kuganiza kuti m'modzi yekha mwawo ndiomwe akukweza zonse kuti awonjezere kulumikizana kwa banjali. Ndikofunikira kuti onse awiri azikhala ndi mwayi wogawana momwe akumvera komanso kumvetsera mwatcheru wina akamafotokoza momwe akumvera.
Ngati wina angalembe Buku Lophatikiza Amtima, lingaphatikizepo izi:
1. Khulupirirani mnzanu mosasamala
Ndizachidziwikire kuti ubale wanu wofunikira kwambiri - ukwati wanu - uyenera kumangidwa pamaziko a kukhulupirirana kwathunthu. Popanda kukhulupirirana kwambiri, simungakhale ndiubwenzi wapamtima. Ngati mukubisa zinthu kwa mnzanu, monga zochitika (pa intaneti kapena m'moyo weniweni), ndizosatheka kuti maubwenzi apamtima akhazikike ndikukula. Kutha kumkhulupirira mnzanu kwathunthu, komanso kuti akukhulupirireni, kumafunika kuti mulimbikitse chikondi ndikulola kuti chikule pakati panu.
2. Dziwani chifukwa chake muli padziko lapansi, komanso ndi munthu ameneyu
Aliyense wa inu ali ndi zokonda komanso zikhulupiriro pazomwe zimapangitsa moyo wanu kukhala watanthauzo. Mukamagawana izi, mumamanga ubale ndi mnzanu. Nonse mutatenga chovala chanu chachikondi, kukondana kwamalingaliro kumakulitsidwa. Mumalumikizidwa ndi ntchito yanu yodziwika kuti mufikire kunja kwanu ndikuthandizira china chachikulu kuposa inu.
Dziwani zomwe mumakonda. Zitha kukhala ngati "kupulumutsa dziko lapansi." Sankhani ntchito yomwe mungagwire limodzi kuti muthandizire kukwaniritsa cholingacho. Zitsanzo zitha kukhala zongodzipereka limodzi pamalo obwezeretsanso zinthu kapena kupita kusukulu yakomweko limodzi kukachita msonkhano ndi ophunzira njira zomwe angathandizire kupulumutsa dziko lapansi.
Kukonda kwanu kukaphatikizidwa ndi munthu amene mumamukonda, kudzipereka kwanu kuubwenzi wanu kumakulitsidwa, ndipo msinkhu waubwenzi wapamtima muubwenzi wanu udzawonjezeka.
3. Ganizani mozama
Lolani kuti mukhale wolondola, kufunika kouza mnzanu zoyenera kuchita, kufunika kofotokozera zolakwika ndi zofooka zake, komanso kufunika kolemba. Kuchotsa maubwenzi apamtima awa kumabweretsa zabwino, zothandizira, komanso zokoma kupatsa mnzanu.
Mnzanuyo, azichita zinthu zomwe zimakusowetsani mtendere. Yesetsani kukhululuka, ndipo ganizirani momwe mungayankhire pamakhalidwe ake. Kodi kumuuza kungamupweteke? Kodi pali njira yoti mungathetsere zokhumudwitsazo osamuimba mlandu, pogwiritsa ntchito uthenga wa "Ine"? Kodi mungaganize zongosiya zokhumudwitsazo popanda kunena za izo?
4. Khalani munthawiyo
Njira imodzi yosavuta yolimbikitsira chibwenzi ndi mnzanu ndikuti muwonetse chidwi chanu chonse pamene akulankhula nanu. Ikani foni yanu, siyani kuyimba pakompyuta. Ngati mwaima pasinki mukusamba mbale, imani, tembenuzani thupi lanu kwa iye, ndipo muyang'ane m'maso mukumvetsera. Mudzadabwitsidwa momwe kuyandikira kumakulirakulira ndi nsonga yaying'ono iyi.
Monga Oprah anenera, khalani okonzeka kwambiri
Yesetsani kudzisamalira mokhudzana ndi thanzi lanu. Ngati mukuvutika kufotokoza malingaliro anu mwanjira yabwino kapena simukudziwa njira zabwino zochitira izi, yambani magawo angapo ndi mlangizi waluso yemwe angakupatseni malingaliro. Kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zanu kukhala wangwiro ndipo mudzakhala ndi kuthekera kokulitsa kukondana muubwenzi wanu.