Zamkati
- Kodi kalembedwe kophatikizika ndi kotani?
- Mitundu yazinthu zosatetezeka
- 1. Kusagwirizana-ndi-kutsutsana
- 2. Kudzimana kopanda chitetezo
- 3. Kusagwirizana kopanda chitetezo
- Nchiyani chimayambitsa kukondana?
- 1. Nkhanza ndi Kunyalanyaza
- 2. Chisokonezo ndi Kutayika
- 3. Kusowa kwa makolo omvera
- Zitsanzo za Zophatikizika Zosatetezedwa
- Zitsanzo za Khalidwe Lopanda Chitetezo mu Ana
- Zitsanzo za Khalidwe Lopanda Chitetezo mwa Akuluakulu
- Momwe kudzitchinjiriza kumakhudzira maubwenzi mukamakula
- Njira 3 zothetsera kapangidwe kanu kosatetezeka
- 1. Kulankhulana
- 2. Chithandizo Chamunthu
- 3. Chithandizo cha Maanja
- Mapeto
Anthu ambiri omwe ali ndi chidwi ndi psychology amva zaubwino wophatikizika. Wopangidwa ndi katswiri wama psychology a John Bowlby, chiphunzitso chaziphatikizidwe chimati ana aang'ono amakhala ndi zokopa kwa munthu wamkulu m'modzi yemwe amatonthoza pomwe ali ndi mantha, osatetezeka, kapena akapanikizika.
Pambuyo pake a Mary Ainsworth adafotokoza mitundu yosiyanasiyana yolumikizira, imodzi mwanjira zake ndizosatetezeka. Pansi pa ambulera iyi, pali mitundu itatu yapadera yolumikizirana, yomwe imabweretsa mavuto m'mabanja achikulire.
Kodi kalembedwe kophatikizika ndi kotani?
Ndondomeko yosalumikizika yosasunthika imalongosola njira yolumikizirana m'maubwenzi momwe munthu amawonetsera mantha kapena kusatsimikizika. Ndizosiyana ndi kukondana komwe kumakhala kotetezeka, komwe munthu amamva kukhala wotetezeka komanso wotonthozedwa ndi mnzake panthawi yamavuto.
Anthu omwe amalandila chisamaliro chokhazikika ndi kuleredwa ngati ana amakhala otetezeka m'zinthu zawo.
Kumbali inayi, anthu omwe amawonetsa mawonekedwe osatetezeka amakhala ndi nkhawa zambiri m'mabanja awo ndipo samadzidalira kuti anzawo adzakwaniritsa zosowa zawo.
Izi zitha kubweretsa kusamvana pakati pa abale komanso zovuta kupanga ubale wapamtima ndi ena. Sizosadabwitsa kuti kuwunikanso kwa kafukufukuyu kukuwonetsa kuti anthu omwe ali osatetezeka muubwenzi amakhala osakhutira ndi maubale awo.
Mitundu yazinthu zosatetezeka
Cholumikizira chosatetezeka ndi ambulera yomwe imafotokozera anthu omwe amayandikira maubwenzi ndi mantha komanso kupsinjika, koma pali mitundu ingapo yazinthu zosalumikizika:
1. Kusagwirizana-ndi-kutsutsana
Kwa anthu omwe ali ndi kalembedwe kameneka, machitidwe osatetezeka amadziwonetsera ngati okakamira.
Wina yemwe amakhala wopanda nkhawa-wotsika amafunikira kulimbikitsidwa pafupipafupi ndi mnzake, ndipo atha kuopa kusiyidwa. Mtundu wachiphatikirowu nthawi zina umatchedwanso cholumikizira chosatetezeka.
2. Kudzimana kopanda chitetezo
Mtundu wachiphatikirowu umalumikizidwa ndi machitidwe osaganizira ena muubwenzi.
Munthu amene ali ndi cholumikizira chotere amapewa kukondana ndipo amavutika kukulitsa ubale wapamtima ndi mnzake kapena kukhala pachiwopsezo ndi mnzake.
3. Kusagwirizana kopanda chitetezo
Makhalidwe osatetezeka ndi mtundu wachiphatikirowu amatha kukhala osokonekera.
Wina yemwe ali ndi cholumikizira chosatetezeka amakhala ndi vuto kuthana ndi mavuto ndipo sangakhale ndi mtundu weniweni wokhudzidwa nawo.
Mitundu itatu yomwe ili pamwambapa yazachitetezo imatha kubweretsa zovuta pamaubwenzi achikondi komanso kulumikizana bwino ndi ena.
Nchiyani chimayambitsa kukondana?
Lingaliro lodzitchinjiriza limapereka chitsogozo pazomwe zimayambitsa kusatetezeka muubwenzi, ndipo zambiri mwazi zimayesedwa ndi ofufuza.
Mwachitsanzo, adanenedwa kuti kuphatikana kumayambira ali mwana, ndipo zinthu zotsatirazi zitha kukhala zoyambitsa kusungika:
1. Nkhanza ndi Kunyalanyaza
Malinga ndi kuwunikiridwa kwamaphunziro osiyanasiyana, kuzunzidwa kapena kunyalanyazidwa ali mwana kumalumikizidwa ndikupanga kulumikizana kosatetezeka.
M'malo mwake, achikulire omwe adazunzidwa kapena kunyalanyazidwa ali ndi mwayi wopitilira kukondana nthawi zina 3.76.
Yesani: Mayeso Omwe Amanyalanyaza Zaubwana
2. Chisokonezo ndi Kutayika
Akatswiri adanenanso kuti kutayika kosasunthika komanso kupwetekedwa mtima kumatha kubweretsa njira zosavomerezeka kwa achikulire kuphatikiza kuzunzidwa ndi kunyalanyazidwa.
Kutaya kholo, kulekanitsidwa ndi makolo, kapena kukumana ndi zoopsa monga nkhondo, ziwawa zagulu la zigawenga, kapena nkhanza zapakhomo zitha kuchititsa kuti pakhale kulumikizana kosatetezeka. Kuchitiridwa nkhanza zokhudza kugonana ndi njira zina zopweteketsa mtima.
Pakhoza kukhala mafotokozedwe angapo pazomwe zimayambitsa kusatetezeka muubwenzi, koma zimafikira pazomwe zidachitika m'mabanja akale, makamaka omwe ali ndi kholo kapena woyang'anira wamkulu.
Kugwirizana kotetezeka kumakula ngati omusamalira anali ofunda, osamalira, komanso opezeka mosalekeza komanso omvera zosowa za mwana. Zolumikizana zosatetezeka zimayamba ngati chisamaliro chotere sichikupezeka, mwina chifukwa cha nkhanza, chiwawa, kunyalanyazidwa, kapena kusakhala ndi malingaliro.
3. Kusowa kwa makolo omvera
Ana omwe makolo awo kapena omwe amawasamalira makamaka samangokhala omvera kapena kuwathandiza atha kupangitsa ana awo kukulira zosatetezeka, zomwe zimadzetsa mavuto okalamba.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati kholo silili mmoyo wa mwana kapena sakupezeka, mwanayo amatha kukhala ndi mayendedwe osatetezeka. Kholo lomwe limalimbana ndi matenda amisala kapena chizolowezi chomvera mowa limatha kukhala lochepa pang'ono ndikuwonjezera chiopsezo chokhala ndi nkhawa ndi ana.
Mofananamo, ngati kholo nthawi zina limathandizira zosowa za mwana kapena kumusamalira mwanayo panthawi yamavuto, koma nthawi zina sizitero, mwanayo sangakhale wotsimikiza ngati zosowazo zidzakwaniritsidwa, zomwe zimabweretsa kukondana.
Zitsanzo za Zophatikizika Zosatetezedwa
Zolumikizana zosatetezeka zitha kubweretsa machitidwe ena pomwe munthu amayesetsa kuthana ndi nkhawa komanso kusatsimikizika pokhudzana ndi kulumikizana ndi ena.
Makhalidwe awa atha kuwoneka osiyana kutengera msinkhu wa munthu. Mwachitsanzo, kusatetezeka kwamakhalidwe a mwana kumatha kubweretsa zosiyana mosiyana ndi kudzipereka kwa achikulire.
Zizindikiro zina zakukhala opanda nkhawa mwa ana ndi izi:
- Kuteteza mwakhama makolo / owasamalira
- Kulira mobwerezabwereza
- Kukhala wokakamira kwambiri kwa makolo / osamalira
- Kusokoneza malingaliro
- Kuopa kopatukana ndi kholo
- Kukana kufufuza chilengedwe
- Zovuta kuwongolera momwe mukumvera
- Kukhala wodziyimira pawokha kwambiri pamene kwenikweni mwana amafuna chidwi
Akuluakulu omwe ali ndi zosatetezeka amakonda kuwonetsa zina mwa izi m'mayanjano awo:
- Kudziyang'anira pansi
- Kukana kupempha thandizo
- Kukankha ena, m'malo mowalola kuti ayandikire
- Kuopa kusiyidwa
- Kuwonetsera ngati okakamira makamaka muubwenzi wapamtima kapena mabwenzi
- Nthawi zambiri kufunafuna chitsimikiziro chakuti zonse zili bwino m'banja
- Kudziimira pawokha
- Osafuna kukhala pachibwenzi ndi anthu ena
- Nsanje mu maubwenzi
Khalidwe losatetezeka muubwenzi wachikulire limachitika chifukwa munthuyo amawopa kuti wokondedwa wawo awasiya kapena alephera kukwaniritsa zosowa zawo.
Kwa munthu yemwe ali ndi chotsatira chofananira, izi zimabweretsa nkhawa komanso kukakamira kupewa kuti asiye.
Mosiyana ndi izi, wina yemwe ali ndi mawonekedwe opewera kupewa kupewa kukhala pafupi ndi ena, chifukwa chake samakhumudwitsidwa kapena kukhumudwa atasiyidwa, kapena wokondedwa wawo sakukwaniritsa zosowa zawo.
Momwe kudzitchinjiriza kumakhudzira maubwenzi mukamakula
Tsoka ilo, zimadziwika kuti kalembedwe kosadzitchinjiriza kamene kamayamba muubwana kumatha kukhala ndi zotsatirapo zokhalitsa, zopitilira maubale achikulire.
Mwachitsanzo, wina akakhala ndi cholumikizira chodzitchinjiriza, amakhala ndi nkhawa kwambiri pamaubwenzi kotero kuti amafuna kuthera nthawi yawo yonse ndi wokondedwa wawo, osalola kuti mnzake akhale ndi nthawi yokhayo.
Khalidwe lokakamira limatha kukhala lotembenukira ndikuchotsa omwe angakhale abwenzi. Kumbali inayi, munthu yemwe ali ndi chizolowezi chodzitchinjiriza popewa kutetezeka atha kulimbana ndi kusungulumwa chifukwa choopa kukhala pafupi ndi ena.
Atha kupezanso kuti ndiwosakhazikika komanso osachita chidwi ndi ubale wawo, zomwe zitha kuyambitsa mikangano.
Kafukufuku wawona zovuta zakukhala kosatetezeka pamaubwenzi achikulire. Kafukufuku wina adapeza kuti anthu omwe anali ndi njira zopewera kapena zosagwirizira amakonda kugwiritsa ntchito njira zazing'ono pocheza ndi ena.
Mwachitsanzo, amatha kukhala opsinjika mumtima mwawo kapena kudziwuza anzawo za nkhawa zawo. Izi ndizovuta pamaubwenzi, koma ndikuyesera kudziteteza kuti asavulazidwe ndi anthu omwe ali ndi mawonekedwe osatetezeka.
Zina kufufuza akuwonetsa kuti maubwenzi osatetezeka atha kudzetsa izi:
- Munthu amene ali ndi vuto lodzitchinjiriza akapanikizika, sangapemphe chilimbikitso kuchokera kwa wokondedwa wawo, kapenanso kutonthoza mnzake yemwe wavutikayo.
- Anthu omwe amakhala ndi mawonekedwe osatetezedwa amapewa kukhudzana kwenikweni ndikudzipatula kwa anzawo akamasiyana, monga mnzake asananyamuke ulendo wopita ku eyapoti.
- Wina wokhala ndi mawonekedwe osatetezeka amatha kukhala ndi nkhawa kwambiri akamakambirana zakusemphana ndi mnzake, ndipo amawona ubale wawo molakwika panthawi yamavuto.
- Munthu amene ali ndi sitayelo yodzitchinjiriza amapewa kucheza ndi anzawo panthawi yamavuto. Mosiyana ndi izi, wina yemwe ali ndi mawonekedwe osakanikirana kapena osagwirizana amatha kuchita zinthu molakwika, kuwononga chibwenzicho.
Mwachidule, masitayelo otetezedwa m'maubwenzi atha kupangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kuti anthu athetse kusamvana, kulumikizana ndi anzawo, ndikumva kukhala otetezeka m'banja.
Kuphatikiza apo, mawonekedwe ophatikizika omwe amayamba muubwana amakonda kupitilirabe kufikira pakukula ngati palibe chilichonse chomwe chingachitike kuti asinthe.
Mwachitsanzo, mwana yemwe amaphunzira kuti sangadalire makolo ake kuti amuthandize ndikumuteteza sangagonjere kukondana naye, chifukwa chake samatembenukira kwa wokondedwa wawo kuti amuthandize ndi kulumikizana, zomwe zimayembekezereka muubwenzi .
Kupatula kuwononga maubale, masitayelo osatetezeka mwa akuluakulu atha kudzidetsa nkhawa, kukhumudwa, komanso mavuto ena amisala.
Njira 3 zothetsera kapangidwe kanu kosatetezeka
Ndondomeko yosalumikizika yosakhazikika nthawi zambiri imachokera muubwana, koma pali njira zothetsera mavuto omwe amadza chifukwa chokhala ndi zibwenzi zosatetezeka:
1. Kulankhulana
Ngati muli pachibwenzi, muyenera kulankhulana ndi wokondedwa wanu za kusowa chitetezo kulikonse komwe muli nako komanso komwe angakhale nako.
Kukhala woona mtima ndi wokondedwa wanu pazosowa zanu kungathandize nonse kuti mukhale pa tsamba limodzi, kuti amvetsetse komwe machitidwe anu amachokera.
2. Chithandizo Chamunthu
Pamapeto pake, mungafunike kufunafuna chithandizo kuti chikuthandizireni njira zothanirana ndi zovuta komanso mavuto amgwirizano.
Zimathandizanso kuphunzira njira zothetsera mavuto aubwana omwe atha kupanga kalembedwe kosavomerezeka.
3. Chithandizo cha Maanja
Inu ndi anzanu ena atha kupindula popita limodzi kuchipatala, kuti athe kudziwa zambiri pazaumoyo wanu ndikuphunzirani momwe angakuthandizireni mukamayang'ana pazolumikizana.
Mapeto
Mtundu wophatikizika wopanda chitetezo ukhoza kukhala wopikisana / wotsutsa, wopewa, kapena wosakhazikika.
Masitayilo awa amayamba ali mwana pomwe anthu amakhala ndi zotetezana ndi omwe amawasamalira kapena akaphunzira kuti sangadalire osamalira kuti apereke
Chithandizo chokhazikika, chokwanira ndi chitetezo, zomwe zimabweretsa kulumikizana kosatetezeka. Zolumikizira izi kuyambira ubwana zimakonda kutsatira anthu mpaka kukhala achikulire, koma pali njira zothetsera vuto kuti mawonekedwe osatetezeka sangasokoneze ubale wanu.