Zamkati
- Kusintha kwa ntchitoyi
- Ukwati umafuna kunyengerera ndikugwira ntchito pachibwenzi
- Anthu amasankha kukhala osakwatira
M'zaka makumi angapo zapitazi, tawona kukwera kwa mabanja osudzulana komanso kuchepa kwa mabanja. Ku US kokha, chiwerengero cha anthu omwe akukwatirana chatsika theka la miliyoni kuyambira pomwe mbiri idakwera mzaka za 1980, ndikuwonjezera maukwati 2.5 miliyoni pachaka.
Ndikoyenera kudziwa kuti kutsika kwa mitengo yaukwati ndichikhalidwe padziko lonse cholembedwa ⅘ m'maiko 100 padziko lonse lapansi.
Chosangalatsa ndichakuti, ngakhale 44% aku America osaposa zaka 30 adawonetsa kuti ukwati wayamba kutha, ndi 5% yokha ya chitsanzochi sakufuna kukwatira. Zikuwoneka kuti anthu akuwona ukwati kuti watha, komabe akuwupeza. Ndiye funso nlakuti, kodi ukwati watha?
Nchiyani chikupangitsa banja kutha?
Pali zinthu zambiri zomwe zingapangitse kuti banja lithe.
Pakati pawo, timazindikira ufulu wazachuma wa azimayi, kuchuluka kwa ufulu wosankha, kutha msinkhu, kusinthika kwa maubwenzi, kuthekera kogonana osakwatirana koyamba, ndi zina zambiri.
Mkazi wodziyimira pawokha masiku ano amakhala ndi ufulu wosankha yekha yemwe adzakhale mwamuna wake. M'mbuyomu, banja lake limasankha, ndipo amayenera kupeza mwamuna wabwino yemwe angasamalire banja.
Komabe, lero. azimayi amatha kugwira ntchito ndi kudzipezera zosowa zawo, ndikupangitsa ukwati kukhala chosankha chawo m'malo mokakamizidwa. Koma, pamapeto pa kudziyimira kwatsopano kumeneku komanso maubale, amadzifunsa kuti, "Kodi banja latha?"
Mosiyana ndi m'mbuyomu, pomwe akazi adakwatirana chifukwa chachuma, lero, chifukwa chachikulu ndichikondi. Izi zikutanthauzanso kuti ngati asankha kusakwatiranso, atha kutero. Zonsezi pamodzi zikupangitsa banja kukhala lotha ntchito.
Osachepera mudziko lotukuka komanso lotukuka, akazi sayenera kukwatiwa ndi amuna kuti azimudalira.
Kusintha kwa ntchitoyi
Amayi ndi abambo, atakula, ali ndi mwayi wodziyimira pawokha pazachuma. Mzimayi atha kugwira ntchito akaganiza ndipo mwamuna safunikiranso kudalira mkazi wake kuti azisamalira nyumba.
Maudindo awa atha kukhala otere kuti bambo atha kukhala kunyumba abambo, pomwe amayi ndi omwe amasamalira banja. Kuphatikiza apo, kukhala wodziyimira pawokha pazachuma kumalola azimayi kusankha ngati akufuna kukhala amayi osakwatiwa popeza sayenera kukhala ndi amuna oti akhale kholo.
Ukwati umafuna kunyengerera ndikugwira ntchito pachibwenzi
Nthawi zambiri zambiri. Kudziwa kuti tidzachita malonda muukwati kumapangitsa kuti banja liziwoneka ngati losangalatsa. Chifukwa chiyani muyenera kunyengerera pomwe simukuyenera kutero?
Maganizo athu ndi chikhalidwe chathu chimayang'ana kwambiri kukhala achimwemwe ndikupeza zomwe tingathe m'moyo. Ngati zikuwoneka kuti banja silikuwonjezera phindu m'miyoyo yathu, sitingasankhe.
Poyamba tinkakhala okwatirana chifukwa chachuma komanso kukhala ndi ana, koma kukwanitsa kuchita izi tili osakwatira kumapangitsa ukwati kukhala wosafunikira masiku ano.
Anthu amasankha kukhala osakwatira
Lero ife, makamaka, timakwatirana mwachikondi, ndipo ndife okonzeka kudikirira mpaka tipeze munthu woyenera. Anthu amasankha kukhala osakwatira mpaka atakumana ndi munthu wina yemwe angachite naye zocheperako.
Kusakhala wokwatiwa kuti ukhale ndi ana ndichimodzi mwazinthu zazikulu zomwe zimapangitsa kuti banja lithe.
Kugonana inali imodzi mwazifukwa zazikulu zokwatirana. Komabe, kugonana musanalowe m'banja ndi kovomerezeka kuposa kale. Sitifunikiranso kukhala pachibwenzi kuti tigonane. Kodi ulemu uwu, kwa ena, funso loti "Kodi ukwati watha" ndi inde.
Kuphatikiza apo, maubale okhala akukhala ovomerezeka m'malo ambiri. Kukhala wokhoza kupanga zochitika zothandizana polemba mgwirizano wamalamulo zidapangitsa kuti banja liziwoneka ngati losafunikira.
Tiyenera kukumbukira kuti nthawi yolowa muukwati wopatulika yasintha kwambiri. Anthu ankakwatirana ali ndi zaka 20, koma tsopano anthu ambiri amakwatirana ndipo amakhala ndi ana atakwanitsa zaka 30. Achinyamata sathamangira kuti akule ndikulowa m'banja. Pali mwayi ndi ufulu wambiri zomwe analibe kale ndipo akufuna kuzifufuza asanalowe m'banja.
Pomaliza, ambiri samakwatirana chifukwa choti amawona ukwati ngati "pepala" lomwe silitanthauzira ubale wawo ndi wokondedwayo. Chifukwa chake, kwa iwo, yankho la funso loti, "Kodi banja latha ntchito" ndilovomereza.
Chifukwa chiyani wina angafune kukwatira?
Kodi ukwati udzatha? Sizingatheke. Kuchuluka kwaukwati kumatha kutsika, ndipo mosakayikira kudzasintha kosiyanasiyana, koma kupitilirabe.
Ukwati ungaoneke ngati wachikale, koma kwa anthu ambiri, ndi njira yofunika kwambiri yosonyezera kudzipereka kwa wina ndi mnzake.
Ambiri amawona kuti iyi ndiyo njira yabwino kwambiri yolimbikitsira kudzipereka ndikulengeza zakukondana kwawo.
Kodi ukwati watha? Osati kwa iwo omwe amapereka patsogolo pazodzipereka. Ukwati ndi wokhudza kudzipereka, ndipo izi zimapangitsa kukhala kosavuta kuyesetsa kuthana ndi mavuto am'mabanja. Tikakhala pachibwenzi, zimatha kukhala zosavuta kusiya kukonza chibwenzi ndi kutha, koma banja ndikofunikira kukhulupirika.
Kudziwa china chake kumayenera kukhala, ndipo munthuyo sakupita kulikonse kungapangitse kuti zikhale zosavuta kuyesetsa kuyesetsa kuti chibwenzicho chikhale bwino.
Kukhazikika kwa banja kumapereka chitetezo ndikulandilidwa komwe tonse timafuna.
Ukwati umalimbitsa zomangira ndipo umawonjezera chidaliro pakudzipereka ndi kukhulupirika kwa wina.
Ukwati umathandiza kuti banja likhale lolimba momwe ana angakhalire bwino ndikudzimva otetezeka. Ukwati umapangitsa kukhala kosavuta kumanga banja popeza pali wina woti agawane naye katunduyo. Makamaka popeza inu ndi munthuyu mumagawana kulumikizana kwamphamvu.
Pomaliza, pali maubwino ambiri azachuma m'banja. Misonkho yotsika, chitetezo cha anthu, ndalama za penshoni ndi zina chabe mwazabwino zomwe banja limabweretsa. Mukakwatirana, wokondedwa wanu amatha kukupangirani zisankho m'malo mwanu ndipo izi ndizosapezeka kwa omwe akukhalira limodzi.
Kukwatira kapena kusakwatiwa
Masiku ano, anthu ali ndi ufulu wambiri, ndipo m'modzi mwa iwo ndikutanthauzira ubale wawo m'njira yomwe angafune. Kusankha kukhala mbeta, paubwenzi wapoyera, wokwatiwa kapena china chake ndichosankha chathu chomwe tili mfulu kupanga.
Chilichonse mwa zosankhazi chili ndi zabwino zake komanso zoyipa zake ndipo ndi chisankho chovomerezeka. Kodi ukwati watha? Ayi, ndipo mwina sichidzakhalakonso. Ndi njira yomwe ikumveka kwa anthu ambiri pazifukwa zam'maganizo, zachipembedzo, zachuma, komanso chikhalidwe.