Zamkati
- Zifukwa zomwe banjali likufuna kupatukana
- Nawa mafunso othandiza omwe mungadzifunse:
- Kodi kupatukana ndi kwabwino m'banja?
Kupatukana angathe khalani okhoza muukwati chifukwa zimachotsa kukakamiza kwa dongosolo ndikupanga malo owoneka bwino, omwe atha kukhala othandiza kwambiri pakuthandizira kulingalira kwanu ndikupanga zisankho zomveka.
Izi ndizomveka mwasayansi, monga zatsimikiziridwa kuti ma IQ athu amataya pansi tikapanikizika. Chifukwa chake, ngati m'modzi kapena onse awiri akhala akuvutika kwanthawi yayitali kwazaka zambiri, ndikosavuta kuwona momwe kupatukana kwakanthawi mwina khalani omveka pamalingaliro.
Ndikufuna kunena kuti ngakhale pakhala pali milandu yambiri pomwe kulekana kwalimbitsa ndi kulimbitsa chomangira chaukwati, pakhala nthawi zina pomwe kupatukana kwadzetsa mikangano yambiri, nkhawa, mkwiyo, komanso kutha.
Mwachitsanzo, m'mabanja omwe muli osakhulupirika kapena ngati mmodzi mwa onse awiriwa sakukhulupirirana kapena kuchitirana nsanje kwambiri, kupatukana kumangowonjezera moto pamoto womwe wayamba kale. Apanso, izi ndizowonera, ndipo zimachitika-kwa-za-izi kwa banja lililonse. (Monga momwe maanja ena omwe ali ndi mbiri yakusakhulupirika achita bwino ndi nthawi yopatukana).
Zifukwa zomwe banjali likufuna kupatukana
Kupatula nthawi yowunikiradi moona mtima ndikulumikizana ndi zomwe wokondedwa aliyense akufuna ndikofunikira. Ndikufuna kusiyanitsa pano pakati pa kusinkhasinkha ndi mphekesera.
Pamene ndikunena kusinkhasinkha, sindikunena za kupanga mndandanda wa ma pro ndi ma con kapena kuwabwereza mobwerezabwereza, "mindloops" yanthawi yayitali yokhudzana ndi kusakhulupirika komwe maanja ambiri amakhala nako. Ndikulankhula zambiri zakuthekera kowunikira komwe munthu aliyense ali nako kuzindikira.
Mabanja akamangokhalira kukangana, sikungokhala kopanda phindu, koma kumatsekereza chibwenzicho. Izi zimachitika ngati munthu aliyense ali ndi chizolowezi choganizira za mkazi kapena mwamuna wake ndi banja lawo, kotero kuti pamakhala mpata woti lingaliridwe kapena yankho labwino lithe.Makasitomala akuwonetsa kuti kukhala munjira imeneyi kuli ngati kukhala mumasewera a ping-pong, pomwe tsiku lina amadzimva kuti amamukonda munthuyu ndipo akufuna kuti agwire bwino ntchito, ndipo kenako amadzimva kuti sangathe kumuimirira.
Chifukwa chake, gawo loyamba ndikuwunika mozama komwe muli. Nthawi zambiri, wina amakhala ndi chidwi chofuna kupatukana kapena kusudzulana kuposa mnzake. Chifukwa chake, ngati m'modzi mwa iwo ali kale ndi malingaliro oti "kwachedwa, sakufuna kuyendetsa banja", kupatukana sikungakhale kothandiza.
Kumbali inayi, ngati malingaliro a onse awiriwa ndi "Sindikudziwa ngati ndikufuna kukhala limodzi" kapena "Ndikufuna kuyesetsa zonse kuti ntchitoyi igwire bwino ntchito", kupatukana kungakhale chida chothandiza pakuwunika zamtsogolo za ubale.
Nawa mafunso othandiza omwe mungadzifunse:
1. Ndi zifukwa ziti zomwe zikufunsa kupatukana?
2. Ndi zifukwa ziti zomwe mukufunira kukhalabe mbanja ili kuti zitheke?
3. Kodi zifukwa zanu zofunira kuti banja likhalepobe zimakhudzana ndi wokondedwa wanu?
Ngati zifukwa zanu zokhalirabe muukwati ndichifukwa cha ana, chifukwa mumakhudzidwa ndi zomwe anthu ena amaganiza, kapena udindo wanu wamakhalidwe, kutenga danga kulingalira zosowa zanu ndi zomwe mukufuna kungakhale kopindulitsa.
Pali zovuta zambiri pachikhalidwe komanso malingaliro okhudzana ndi kufunika kokhala pamodzi m'nyumba imodzi chifukwa cha ana, kutchuka, ndi zina zambiri, choncho konzekerani kuti mnzanuyo asadzakhale ndi lingaliro loyambirira.
Chinthu chimodzi chomwe chingakhale chothandiza kwambiri mukayamba kuwona mnzanu akukhudzidwa kwambiri ndi lingaliro lina loti kupatukana, kunena "Chabwino. Bwanji osabwereranso ku izi nthawi ina? ” Nthawi zambiri, pamene mnzake ali ndi malingaliro osiyana, amakambirana njira zosiyanasiyana.
Kodi kupatukana ndi kwabwino m'banja?
Zimatengera. Cholepheretsa chachikulu chomwe ndimawona ndikuti anthu amalola changu chawo komanso kupsinjika kwamaganizidwe awo kuwalanda pamalingaliro ndi zochita zawo, m'malo modikirira mpaka atafotokozera momwe angapitire patsogolo. Maganizo onse amadutsa, ngakhale osakhala bwino.
Nthawi zina njira yodziwira kapena kumvetsetsa zomwe mungachite muukwati wanu imatenga nthawi yayitali kuposa momwe anthu amafunira, koma ndibwino kuti mufufuze ndikudikirira.
Khulupirirani kapena ayi, kuthekera kwaumunthu pakulimba mtima kumawonekera modabwitsa ngakhale m'malo ovuta monga kupatukana ndi kusudzulana. Mamembala onse am'banja, kuphatikiza ana, ndi lingaliro limodzi lokha kutali ndi yankho lothandiza, ndipo zivute zitani, aliyense ali ndi mwayi wopeza kupirira kwawo mwachilengedwe.