Zamkati
Tikamva mawu oti "kusakhulupirika" mbanja timalingalira za chibwenzi kapena kusakhulupirika m'banja. Ngakhale zonsezo ndi mtundu wa kusakhulupirika, zoona zake ndizakuti pali kusakhulupirika kochuluka m'banja- ambiri mwa iwo "maanja akusangalala" amachitirana wina ndi mnzake pafupipafupi, ngakhale tsiku lililonse.
Maanja omwe akufuna kupeza upangiri pafupipafupi amatero kuti athandize kukonza mabanja awo. Poyesetsa kupewa zinthu zosakhulupirika zotsatirazi, maanja atha kuthana ndi mavuto m'banja. Kusakhulupirika kumatha kugawidwa m'magulu anayi: Kunyalanyaza, Kusachita Chidwi, Kuchotsa Pazachangu & Zinsinsi.
Gawo 1: Kunyalanyaza
Apa ndi pomwe chiyambi chamapeto chimayambira. Maanja (kapena gawo lina la banjali) likayamba kutembenukira kwina mwadala ndichizindikiro choyamba cha kusakhulupirika. China chosavuta monga kusayankha mnzake atati "wow - tayang'ana!" kapena "Ndinali ndi china chake chosangalatsa chikuchitika lero ...." Kung'ung'udza pang'ono kapena kusayankhidwa kumayambitsa magawano pakati pa abwenzi ndipo kumatha kupanga mkwiyo. Uku kunyalanyaza nthawi yolumikizirana kumabweretsa chikhumbo chochepa cholumikizira chomwe chingasokoneze ubalewo.
Mchigawo chino abwenzi amathanso kuyerekezera anzawo molakwika ndi ena. "Mwamuna wa Amy samadandaula za izi ....." kapena "Mkazi wa Brad amayesetsa kuti athetse vutoli." Ngakhale ndemangazo zitha kufotokozedwa ndi wokondedwa wawo, kuyerekezera kolakwika kumayamba kugawanitsa banja ndikupanga malingaliro olakwika wina ndi mnzake. Kuchokera apa, sichinthu chovuta kuti mufike pamlingo woti kudalirana kumachepetsa ndipo mukuganiza kuti winayo kulibe pomwe amafunidwa / amafunikira. Kusakhulupirika uku kumawoneka ngati mndandanda wazotsuka zamaganizidwe a mnzake. Kulingalira za "mamuna wanga sadziwa chilichonse pankhani yodziwa momwe ndimakhalira ndi miyoyo yathu" kapena "mkazi wanga sakudziwa zomwe ndimachita tsiku lonse" zitha kuwoneka ngati njira yopweteketsa mtima koma kwenikweni ndichinyengo cha ubalewo. Malingaliro ndi machitidwe ochuluka kwambiri amatsogolera kuzinthu zazikulu zomwe zimapezeka mu gawo lachiwiri.
Gawo 2: Osachita chidwi
Chibwenzi chikakumana ndi machitidwe kuyambira gawo 2, ndiye njira yoperekera yopitilira patsogolo. Gawo ili limafuna kuti anthuwo ayambe kusakondana wina ndi mnzake ndikuchita zinthu moyenera. Amasiya kugawana ndi anzawo (yankho loti "tsiku lanu linali bwanji" nthawi zambiri limakhala "labwino" osati china chilichonse.) Kufunitsitsa kugawana nthawi, kuyesetsa & chidwi chonse kumayamba kuchepa. Nthawi zambiri pamakhala kusintha kuchoka ku chidwi / mphamvu ndipo mmalo mogawana ndi mnzanu momwemonso mphamvu / chidwi chimayamba kupita ku maubwenzi ena (mwachitsanzo, kutsogoza ubale kapena ana kuposa mnzawo) kapena chidwi chitha kukhala chosokoneza kwambiri (mwachitsanzo, media media , zosangalatsa, kutenga nawo mbali kwina.) Ngati maanja akupereka zoperewera, kugawana zochepa ndikuwononga ndalama zocheperana ndi malo owopsa kukhala chifukwa machitidwe olumikizanawa amatha kubwerezabwereza ndikupangitsa kuchoka paubwenzi.
Gawo 3: Kuchotsa mwachangu
Khalidwe la kusakhulupirika kuchokera pagawo lachitatu ndi lomwe limapweteketsa kwambiri chibwenzi. Gawo ili ndikuti achokere mwakhama kwa bwenzi lawo. Khalidwe kwa wina ndi mnzake nthawi zambiri limakhala lovuta kapena lodzitchinjiriza. Anthu ambiri amatha kuzindikira banja ili- pokhapokha ngati ndi iwo. Banja lotetezera komanso lodzidzimutsa limafulumira kuweruzana, ndi achidule, amasonyeza kukhumudwa mwachangu ndipo nthawi zambiri amalankhula kapena mwakuthupi kuwonetsa kukhumudwitsana ndi zina pazinthu zazing'ono zomwe sizoyenera kuyankha mgawoli.
Ogwirizana amakhala osungulumwa mu gawo lachitatu ngakhale wina ndi mnzake popeza kulumikizana kwakhala kovuta kwambiri kotero kuti kulumikizana kulinso kovuta. Palibeubwenzi wapakati panthawiyi ... ndipo chidwi choyambitsa chilichonse chachikondi sichipezeka. Chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe zimaperekedwa mchigawo chino ndi "kutaya" mnzanuyo kwa ena. Izi sikuti ndizopanda ulemu zokha koma ndikugawana pagulu kuwonongeka kwa banja, zimalimbikitsa ena kusankha mbali ndikuvomereza malingaliro olakwika ndikulowerera. Omwe akuchita nawo gawo lino nthawi zambiri amakhala akusunga zolakwa zawo, kusungulumwa ngakhale kuyamba kulola malingaliro awo kuyendayenda kuti "Ndikudabwa ngati ndingakhale wosangalala ndekha .... kapena ndi munthu wina ...." Ndipo liti malingaliro oterewa ndi kusakhulupirika kumalowa muubwenzi, gawo 4 siliri kutali.
Gawo 4: Zinsinsi
Gawo la Zinsinsi ndi pomwe mapeto ali pafupi. Kusakhulupirika kwasanduka njira yokhalira paubale. Gawo limodzi kapena onse awiri a banjali akusunga chinsinsi kwa mnzake. Zinthu monga kirediti kadi zomwe ena sakudziwa kapena kukhala nazo, maimelo omwe sadziwika, maakaunti azama TV, kudya chakudya chamadzulo, wogwira naye ntchito / bwenzi yemwe wakhala wofunikira kwambiri kuposa momwe ayenera kukhalira, zochita tsiku lonse, momwe nthawi imagwiritsidwira ntchito pa intaneti, zachuma kapena ndi anzako. Pomwe ocheperawo amagawana- ndimomwe zimakhalira kusakhulupirika. Izi ndi zoona ngakhale kusakhulupirika sikunalowe m'banjamo. Pomwe mipanda yaying'ono yachinsinsi imamangidwa ndikukhala pachibwenzi chodziwikiratu kumakhala kovuta, ubale umangokhala pakusunga zinsinsi zazing'ono mpaka zazikulu- ndipo kusakhulupirika kumakula.
Pakatikati pa gawo 4, ndikosavuta kuti mnzanu adutse malire ndikulowa mu chibwenzi china. Nthawi zambiri, chibwenzi sichikhala chofuna kukondana ndi mnzanu koma m'malo mofufuza womvera, kukondana, kulumikizana mwachifundo komanso kupumula ku mikangano ya m'banja. Magawo osakhulupirika atakhala otalikirana kwambiri m'banja, kuwoloka malire mpaka kusakhulupirika kwenikweni ndi gawo lotsatira kwa anzawo.
Ngakhale magawowa alembedwa mndondomeko yake ndizotheka kuti maanja / anthu azilumpha magawo onse ndi machitidwe awo. Kulabadira gawo lililonse lopandukira - mosasamala kanthu kuti ndi gawo liti - ndikofunikira kwambiri kuti banja liziyenda bwino. Kuchuluka kwa kusakhulupirika komwe kumapewa mgwirizanowu, kumakhala kolimba! Kusamala zamakhalidwe kuchokera kwa anzanu komanso anzanu ndikofunikira. Kudzizindikira komanso kufunitsitsa kukambirana moona mtima mukakhala kuti mwasokonekera (kapena lingaliro la m'modzi) ndiye njira yokhayo yotetezera kusakhulupirika mtsogolo ndikuletsa zochita kuti zisadutse.