Zamkati
- 1. Adadzipereka kwa wina ndi mzake pazifukwa zonse zoyenera
- 2. Sanayembekezere kuti banja lidzakhala yankho ku mavuto onse amoyo
- 3. Kuti chikondi chikhalepo, ulemu uyenera kukhalapo nthawi zonse
- 4. Kuyankhulana mwaulemu kulipo, ngakhale pamene mukukangana
- 5. Kudzikonda kumabwera patsogolo
- 6. Kukhululuka kumakhala pafupi
- 7. Amalumikizana m'njira zambiri, kuphatikizapo kugonana
- 8. Samayiwala zazing'onozing'ono
Kodi mumafuna mutakhala ndi njira yamatsenga yomwe mungatsatire kuti muwonetsetse kuti chibwenzi chanu chitha? Kuwongolera komwe kukufotokozerani zomwe muyenera kutsatira kuti inu ndi mnzanu mukhale mosangalala?
Zachidziwikire, si matsenga ndendende, koma pali mfundo zina zomwe zimagawana ubale wachimwemwe. Tiyeni tiwone izi zaubwenzi wokhalitsa ndikuwona zomwe tingaphunzire.
1. Adadzipereka kwa wina ndi mzake pazifukwa zonse zoyenera
Maanja akudzitama zaka 20, 30 kapena 40 zaukwati (kapena kupitilira apo) akutiuza kuti adasankhana pazifukwa zoyenera. Sanakwatirane chifukwa chopsinjika pagulu, kapena chifukwa chosungulumwa, kapena chifukwa chakuti m'modzi mwa iwo amayang'ana wokondedwa wawo kuti "akonze" ubwana woipa kapena zoopsa zina.
Ayi, adakwatirana chifukwa adakonda wokondedwa wawo chifukwa amamukonda nthawi yomweyo (osakwatirana ndi "kuthekera" kwake, koma "tsopano"), ndipo adamva kulumikizana kopindulitsa nawo. Amanenanso kuti adalumikizana ndi zochepa kapena zosasunthika zomwe zidasinthidwa, chifukwa chake amakhala ndi malingaliro abwino podzipereka kwa wokondedwa wawo.
2. Sanayembekezere kuti banja lidzakhala yankho ku mavuto onse amoyo
Okwatirana a nthawi yayitali alowa muukwati wawo ndi ziyembekezo zenizeni.
Iwo anali okondana kwambiri, ndithudi, komanso anazindikira kuti wokondedwa wawo sangathe kukwaniritsa maudindo onse ofunikira kuti akhale ndi moyo wabwino. Sanayembekezere kuti wokondedwa wawo azisamalira banja, mnzake wapamtima, wophunzitsa masewera, wophunzitsa za moyo, wosamalira ana, wothandizira, komanso wokonza tchuthi komanso wanzeru zandalama.
Adazindikira kuti aliyense ali ndi malo olimba komanso ofooka, ndipo kumapeto kwake, kutulutsa ntchito ndikofunikira kuti banja likhale lolimba. Anazindikiranso kufunikira kosunga maubwenzi akunja ndikupanga zatsopano, kuti onse awiri azichita zinthu mosadutsana.
Maanja achikulire adatchulapo zidziwitso zakuti chikondi chimachepa ndikutuluka, ndikuti banja silingatanthauze chidwi ndi zozimitsa moto tsiku lililonse pachaka. Anayendetsa m'masiku otsikawa, podziwa kuti pamapeto pake ufulu wachikondi umayendetsedwa ndipo kulumikizana kumabwerera ngati wina ali wofunitsitsa kuthana ndi zovuta.
3. Kuti chikondi chikhalepo, ulemu uyenera kukhalapo nthawi zonse
Simukusowa ulemu kuti mugwire chilakolako.
Izi ndizomwe zimayimira usiku umodzi. Koma pa chikondi chenicheni chokhalitsa, okwatirana ayenera kulemekezana komanso kusilira wina ndi mnzake. Mukufuna kuyang'ana munthu yemwe miyezo yake, yamakhalidwe ake ndi yamakhalidwe ake ikugwirizana ndi yanu.
Ngati satero, sizokayikitsa kuti ubalewo ungakulire ndikukhala watanthauzo. Ndipo, ulemu ndichimodzi mwazofunikira kwambiri zaubwenzi wokhalitsa.
4. Kuyankhulana mwaulemu kulipo, ngakhale pamene mukukangana
Anthu okwatirana omwe amakhala zaka zambiri ali m'banja amati amalumikizana bwino ngakhale mavuto atabuka.
Samatchula mayina kapena kutchula mavuto ena akale akamamenya nkhondo. Amagwira ntchito yolumikizana komanso kukhala okoma mtima, akumamvera malingaliro a wina ndi mnzake ndikuwatsimikizira kuti amveka. Amadziwa kuti zomwe zanenedwa sizinganenedwe konse, chifukwa chake amakumbukira izi zikamakhala zokambirana.
Chomaliza chomwe amafuna kuchita ndikupweteketsa yemwe amamukonda kwambiri (ngakhale pamene akukangana).
5. Kudzikonda kumabwera patsogolo
Onani mabanja omwe akhala nthawi yayitali ndipo muwona kuti amadzisamalira komanso amasamalirana. Amagwira ntchito kuti akhalebe athanzi komanso athanzi.
Izi zikutanthauza kuti amapereka nthawi yochita masewera omwe amasangalala nawo. Ngati wokondedwa wawo sali pabwalo ndi zomwe amakonda, palibe vuto lalikulu, achita zofuna zawo. Wina atha kukhala wothamanga, winayo wokonda yoga, ndipo amalola nthawi zokha pamene akudziwa kuti ndi gawo la ubale wabwino.
Ngati m'modzi kapena winayo akuwona kufunika kogwiritsa ntchito zovuta zamisala ndi wothandizira kunja, pali chithandizo ndi chilimbikitso pa izi.
Ubale wabwino ndi wopangidwa ndi anthu awiri athanzi, ndipo maanja omwe akhalitsa amadziwa izi.
6. Kukhululuka kumakhala pafupi
"Musagone mokwiya" ndi upangiri wamba womwe tonse tidamva, ndipo maanja omwe akhala nawo nthawi yayitali amawaganizira mozama. Zachidziwikire, amamenya nkhondo. Koma amalimbana ndi vutoli, amatenga nthawi yokwanira kuti athe kuthetsa vutolo, kenako nkuzikumbukira.
“Pepani” komanso “ndakukhululukirani” ndi mbali ina ya mawu awo. Sasunga chakukhosi, ndipo, monga tafotokozera pamwambapa, satulutsa mkwiyo wakale kuti uwonjeze mkangano watsopano. Zomwe zidachitika zidapita, ndipo zakhululukidwa. Ndipo monga ulemu, kukhululuka ndichimodzi mwazofunikira kwambiri zaubwenzi wokhalitsa.
7. Amalumikizana m'njira zambiri, kuphatikizapo kugonana
Inde. Pali zotsalira mu libido, inde, koma maanja omwe akhala akutalika nthawi zonse amabwerera kuchipinda. Akapeza kuti kugonana kwatha, amadziwa kuti izi zikutanthauza kuti china chake sichili bwino ndipo samazengereza kufunsa wokondedwa wawo zomwe zikuchitika.
Kugonana pafupipafupi ndikofunikira kuti musalumikizane.
8. Samayiwala zazing'onozing'ono
Kodi mukudziwa momwe okwatirana atsopano amasamaliranso kachitidwe kakang'ono kaubwenzi? Momwe amabweretsa maluwa, kutumizirana mameseji achiwerewere, ndikupatsana mphatso "popanda chifukwa"?
Okwatirana kwanthawi yayitali samasiya kuchita izi mkwiyo woyamba wachikondi utatha.
Maluwa odabwitsa, mawu achikondi kungonena kuti "Ndikuganizira inu" ... kukhudza pang'ono kumeneku kumatanthauzabe zambiri ndikupitilizabe kulumikizana kwazaka zambiri. Ndipo izi ndizikhalidwe zaubwenzi wokhalitsa.