Zamkati
- Kuponderezana ndi chiyani?
- Maganizo athu okhudza kugonana atha kusintha
- Zizindikiro zake ndi ziti?
- Kodi mungatani kuti mudzimasule?
- Tengera kwina
Kodi mungakumbukire nthawi yomwe mudasangalalako komanso chilakolako chogonana chomwe chidakuposani? Ngati yankho lanu ndi 'Sindikukumbukira "kapena" Simudzakhala "mutha kukhala mukukumana ndi zachiwerewere.
M'magulu amakono, ili si yankho lachilendo. Sigmund Freud adazindikira muzu wamavuto ambiri mchigawo chakumadzulo monga kuponderezana pakugonana. Malingaliro ake sanali opanda otsutsa, koma kupondereza kugonana ndi mutu womwe anthu ambiri amakhudzidwa nawo.
Chikhalidwe, chipembedzo, ndi momwe anakulira moponderezera zimachulukirachulukira ndiye mwayi kwa munthu wokulira munthawi zoterezi zomwe zimachitika.
Kuponderezana ndi chiyani?
Zomwe zimalowa m'malo opondereza amuna zimatha kusiyanasiyana kutengera chikhalidwe, koma chodabwitsachi chimalumikizidwa ndi kulephera kufotokoza zachiwerewere m'njira yabwino. Zizindikiro zomwe zimachitika nthawi zambiri zimaphatikizapo kuchepa kwa chilakolako chogonana, ulesi, kukwiya komanso kusasangalala chifukwa chaziphuphu zogonana. Kuphatikiza pa omwe adatchulidwa, kudzimva wolakwa komanso manyazi kumachitikanso.
Poganiza kuti munthu akukumana ndi zipsinjo zogonana, zizindikiro zambiri zomwe zatchulidwa pano zikupitilira mosasamala kanthu za mnzake. Uwu ndi ubale wokhutira ndi kugonana komwe munthu adakhala nawo m'moyo wawo wonse ndipo nthawi zambiri amakhala ndichinthu chomwe chimachitika muubwenzi wapamtima. Mpaka kuzungulira kutasinthidwa, inde.
Momwe tidaleredwera ndikukhala ndi moyo wapafupi komanso gulu lathu limakhudzana kwambiri ndi chitukuko cha nkhanza zakugonana.
Ngakhale tili ana aang'ono, timaphunzitsidwa zomwe zili "zolondola" ndi zomwe "sizili bwino", mwa kulankhulapo ndi kutengera machitidwe.
Mwachitsanzo, mwina munaganizapo za manyazi ndi kugonana pamene zochitika zachiwerewere zidabwera pa TV poona kusasangalala kwa makolo anu. Nthawi zina, imatha kukhala chifukwa chakugwiriridwa kapena zokumana nazo zosasangalatsa komanso zogonana.
Maganizo athu okhudza kugonana atha kusintha
Pali uthenga wabwino, komabe!
Momwe timamvera zakugonana zitha kusinthidwa popeza kuponderezana ndi chinthu chomwe chimapangidwa ndi malingaliro omwe amawonetsa kugonana ngati chinthu cholakwika kapena chodetsa (ikani dzina lanu pamenepo).
Tidaleredwa kuti tilandire ndikuyamikira zikhulupiriro zogonana ngati zachiwerewere, zonyansa komanso zachinyengo. Komabe, onjezerani chitukuko chaumwini pa equation, ndipo titha kuphunzira kukhulupirira zosiyana - kugonana ndi kwachilengedwe monga mpweya womwe timapuma kapena chakudya chomwe timadya, chisangalalo ndi chisangalalo chomwe chimachokera, sizoyenera kuchita nawo manyazi .
Zizindikiro zake ndi ziti?
1. Kusakhazikika komanso kusasangalala mthupi
Mphamvu yakugonana, ngati singatulutsidwe, imatha kubweretsa mavuto m'thupi. Pakhoza kukhala kupweteka m'khosi, m'mapewa, ndi m'chiuno.
Mphamvu zomwe sizimasulidwa panthawi yamankhwala zimatha kulemetsa thupi kuyambitsa mavuto.
Nthawi yomweyo zizindikilozi, zikaima patali, zimatha kukhala chifukwa chapanikizika komanso moyo.
2. Kusowa tulo ndi maloto ogonana
Kulimbikitsidwa kwakugonana kumatha kubweretsa vuto la kugona ndi kugona.
Kuphatikiza apo, mwina mumatha kukhala ndi maloto ochuluka.
Iyi ikhoza kukhala njira yoti thupi lanu likudziwitseni kuti simukukhala ndi chilakolako chogonana.
3. Kumverera kopanda kulumikizidwa
Anthu omwe amachitiridwa zachipongwe sikuti amapewa zogonana. Amatha kukhala ndi zibwenzi zogonana, koma chisangalalo nthawi zambiri chimasowa pochita izi. Munayamba mwamvapo ngati kuti mulibe nthawi yogonana, ngakhale mutagona ndi ndani, liti kapena kuti? Kodi kumverera uku kukupitilira ndipo mumapeza kuti simungagwirizane ndi zomverera zamthupi zomwe mumakumana nazo? Ngati inde, mutha kukhala kuti mwakopeka ndi chiwerewere.
4. Kupewa thupi lamaliseche
Anthu omwe amavutika ndi zachiwerewere amapewa kudziona ngati amaliseche. Zachidziwikire, izi zitha kuchitika pazifukwa zina zilizonse, koma zikaphatikizidwa ndi zizindikilo zina zomwe zidatchulidwa zimathandizira lingaliro loti kupondereza kugonana kumachitikadi.
5. Kupewa kuseweretsa maliseche kapena kudzudzula
Ena a ife takula tili ndi lingaliro loti kuseweretsa maliseche ndikoipa, kumatha kuyambitsa khungu, ndi tchimo ndipo kuyenera kupewedwa. Komabe, kuseweretsa maliseche ndi njira yachilengedwe komanso yovomerezeka yomasulira zomwe timakonda komanso zomwe timamva bwino.
6.Manyazi olumikizidwa ndi zolimbikitsa
Anthu ndi nyama nawonso ndipo zilakolako zakugonana ndi gawo lathu monga momwe timafunira kudya ndi kumwa madzi. Ndife amodzi mwazinyama zachilendo zomwe zimagonana osati kungofuna kutalikitsa mitunduyo, komanso kuti izisangalala nayo. Chifukwa chake, manyazi komanso kudziimba mlandu ndizolumikizana mosafunikira chilakolako chogonana ndipo ndizomwe zimapangidwa ndi psyche yathu.
Kodi mungatani kuti mudzimasule?
Poyesera kuthetsa vuto tiyenera kuyang'ana kaye pazomwe zimayambitsa ndi momwe zikukhudzira moyo wathu. Tisanayese kuthetsa vutoli tiyenera kumvetsetsa.
Chifukwa chake, chilichonse chomwe chingalimbikitsidwe pano chikuyenera kuchotsedwa mosamala. Pali zinthu zomwe mungachite kuti muyesere kudzimasula nokha, komabe kupeza chithandizo cha akatswiri ndi njira yoyenera kutsatira, makamaka ngati kuponderezedwa chifukwa cha zoopsa. Mavutowa atha. Iwo ndi gawo lanu, koma mutha kuwamasula. Simunabadwe ndi manyazi, kudziimba mlandu komanso opanda chilakolako chogonana.
Nthawi iliyonse m'moyo wanu, muli ndi ufulu wobwezeretsanso chiwerewere!
Sinthanitsani mauthenga opondereza ndi omasula ndikuyamba ulendo wanu mwatsopano.
Tengera kwina
Mwina mungayambe mwakulemba malingaliro anu ndi momwe mumamvera. Pochita izi mudzatha kupeza matanthauzo atsopano ndikumvetsetsa bwino zomwe mukukumana nazo. Kuphatikiza apo, dziwitseni nokha, yambani kuwerenga zakugonana ndi maubwino ake. Pezani anthu omwe mungawadalire ndikukambirana nawo. Izi zitha kukuthandizani kutaya zikhulupiriro zina zomwe zimakupangitsani kudziletsa, kusintha malingaliro anu musanasinthe machitidwe anu. Mukakhala okonzeka, mutha kuyamba kuyang'ana thupi lanu poyang'ana pagalasi, pansi pamadzi, ndikudzigwira kuti mupeze zomwe zimamveka bwino, ndi zina zambiri.
Kumbukirani, njira yosinthira siyowongoka, pakhoza kukhala zokwera ndi zotsikandikubweranso ndikumva kuti ndikulakwa komanso manyazi.
Muzochitika izi, kuphatikiza thandizo la akatswiri kumatha kukhala chisankho chanzeru komanso chomwe chingapangitse kuti ntchitoyi ichitike mwachangu komanso mosasunthika. Pamapeto pake, ziloleni kuti mukhale opanga luso ndikuyesa njira zina - fufuzani zaukatswiri wanu kudzera mu zaluso, nyimbo, kuvina kapena mavalidwe mosiyana. Pali njira zambiri zomwe mungachitire izi, ndipo mumaloledwa kupeza zomwe zimamveka bwino kwa inu.