Zamkati
- Umunthu wathu ungatilepheretse kukonda komwe tikufuna
- Kuyankhulana mu maubale
- Ego mavuto muubwenzi
- Kugwiritsa ntchito malingaliro muubwenzi pakusintha
- Kuchita zoopsa kumathandiza
Kodi ubale wanu ukulimbana kuti muyambe kukondedwa
Pomwe ziwerengero zaposachedwa zakusudzulana monga zotsatirazi zikunena nkhani yomvetsa chisoni tikamakumana ndi zovuta zaubwenzi wathu, zitha kukhala zovuta kupeza njira ina kupatula kupatukana:
- Pafupifupi ma 50% maukwati onse ku USA atha ndi chisudzulo kapena kupatukana.
- 60% ya mabanja achiwiri amathetsa banja.
- 73% yamabanja atatu achitatu amathetsa banja.
Komabe, ngakhale kuthekera kotereku kungakhale kwabwinoko, ndine wokhulupirira kwambiri kuti ubale wolimbana komwe kulibe chizindikiro chakuzunza nthawi zambiri umawatengera onse awiriwa kuti akhale achikondi ndikukula.
Onaninso: malingaliro 10 omwe angawononge ubale
Umunthu wathu ungatilepheretse kukonda komwe tikufuna
Ambiri mwa makasitomala anga amabwera kwa ine akuganiza kuti atsala pang'ono kupatukana koma posakhalitsa amayamba kuzindikira kuti kulimbana kwawo kumachokera ku mantha awo opwetekedwa, ndipo izi, kwenikweni, zimawalepheretsa kupanga chikondi chomwe amafunadi .
"Timachita mantha kuti timakondedwa kwambiri ndipo tidzagwiritsa ntchito machenjera ambiri kutilepheretsa kudzipangira gawo lotsatira ndi mnzathu."
Kuyankhulana mu maubale
Tsoka ilo, palibe m'modzi wa ife amene adaphunzitsidwa kulumikizana mwanjira yoti imathandizira kuti ubale ukukula ndikukula mtsogolo.
M'malo mwake, talandira mauthenga ambiri omwe amalimbikitsa malingaliro okondana, omwe amalimbikitsa chikhulupiriro chakuti bwenzi lathu lilipo kuti litipulumutse kapena 'kutikwaniritsa'.
Zotsatira zake, timakonda kukakamiza wokondedwa wathu kuti akhale mwamuna kapena mkazi wangwiro, monga m'makanema. Timawapanga kukhala ndi udindo wamomwe timamvera ndipo, potero, timanyamula mfuti pamutu pawo, yomwe imati, 'INU mwandipangitsa kumva choncho.'
"Ngakhale mnzathu atatipangitsa m'njira zambiri, ife tili ndi udindo wokhala ndi moyo wabwino."
Ngati sitikhala ndiudindo wathu wonse pamalingaliro athu, machitidwe athu, ndi mayankho athu & kumadzudzula mnzathu, timangololeza kuti ubale wathu 'uchitike.'
Kulephera kwathu kusiya chidwi muubwenzi Zitha kukhala ndi zotsatira zoyipa zambiri ndipo kawirikawiri ndi njira yopezera chisangalalo chochuluka.
Kumbali inayi, mukadzimasula nokha kuudindo wanu ndikukhala ndiudindo wonse ndikusankha kuwonetsa mwachilungamo, kuwona mtima, komanso kumasuka pakulankhulana kwanu, mumapereka njira yoti ndichitire ubale weniweni.
Mgwirizano wamtunduwu, timamva kuti ndife olandiridwa monga tili, ndipo sitiyenera kubisala chifukwa cha mantha. Kumva ufulu uwu wachikondi ndikumasula kwambiri!
Ego mavuto muubwenzi
Makhalidwe athu pamaubwenzi nthawi zambiri amakhala mawu mumutu mwathu omwe amakonda kutiuza nkhani zachiwawa ndi zachisoni.
Mwachitsanzo, zitha kukuwuzani kuti wokondedwa wanu sali wokwanira; kuti ayenera kukhala wokonda kwambiri kapena wolimba; kuti akuwongolera kwambiri kapena alibe.
Munthu yemwe ali pachibwenzi amakonda kuyankhula mwamtheradi ndipo saganiza zongoyang'ana mbali zabwino za khalidwe la mnzanuyo.
Kafukufuku adasanthula deta kuchokera kwa anthu 3,279, omwe adatenga mayeso awo a Relationship Attachment Style ndikuwonetsa kuti chigoba chathu chofooka chikhumbo chathu chofuna kudzimva okondedwa ndi okondedwa.
Ngati simusamala, malingaliro abwenziwa atha kukunyengererani kuti mupeze wina yemwe angakhale masewera osangalatsa kwambiri!
Zotsatira zake, nthawi zambiri kumakhala kosavuta kudumpha kuchokera pachibwenzi chanu kuposa kukhala ndikukumana ndi mantha anu potsegulira chikondi chambiri ndikuthana ndi malingaliro.
Ego ndi gawo lathu lakale lomwe limakhala mwamantha. Ali ndi chizolowezi choganiza mopanda mantha ndipo sadziwa kukhala munjira ina iliyonse.
Imodzi mwa machitidwe ake owononga kwambiri ndikupitilizabe kufotokozera zofooka zathu pa mnzathu.
Izi zimatipatsa mwayi woti tidziteteze ku zotichotsa kapena malingaliro otinyalanyaza pakupitilizabe kuimba mlandu kapena kufunafuna zolakwika kunja kwathu. Izi sizimapangitsa kuti chilengedwe chikhale choyenera, cholumikizana, komanso chachikondi.
Kugwiritsa ntchito bwino zomwe zingawonongetse ego kumatha kugwiritsa ntchito ubale womwe kale umawoneka kuti ukulephera, kulumikizana ndi chikondi.
Kugwiritsa ntchito malingaliro muubwenzi pakusintha
- Bweretsani malingaliro anu
Kulikonse komwe mukuganiza, ndikulakalaka mnzanga atakhala pang'ono kapena pang'ono; Uwu ndi mwayi wodzifunsa funso lomwelo motero mubwezeretse malingaliro anu.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati mukuganiza kuti, 'Ndikulakalaka mnzanga atakhala wofunitsitsa,' dzifunseni kuti 'ndingakhale wokonda kapena wokonda kwambiri moyo wanga uti?'
Kubwezeretsa malingaliro athu sikukutanthauza kuti palibe chowonadi pazomwe ubale ukunena, koma zikutanthauza kuti sitiyenera kufulumira kuloza chala.
- Yamikirani zabwino zomwe mnzanu akuchita
Maganizo athu pamaubwenzi amangoganizira kwambiri zomwe sizikugwira ntchito kapena pomwe mnzanu sakukwaniritsa zosowa zanu.
Uwu ukhoza kukhala mwayi woti muyambe kuyamikira mbali zabwino zaubwenzi wanu komanso zinthu zonse zomwe mumakonda kuzinyalanyaza.
- Fotokozani
Ngati mukumva kuti simukukondedwa kapena simunamveke kapena kuti simukuwonedwa ndi wokondedwa wanu, uwu ukhoza kukhala mwayi waukulu kuti mulankhule zakukhosi kwanu kapena kufunsa zomwe mukufuna.
Zachidziwikire, izi zikutanthauza kuti titha kuyika pachiwopsezo pofotokoza momwe tikufotokozera, ndipo izi ndizowopsa ku malingaliro, koma ndipamene ubale wathu umapatsidwa mwayi wokula.
Nthawi zambiri ndimalimbikitsa makasitomala anga kuti 'azimva mantha ndikunena mulimonse' kuchokera pamalo okhala ndi zonse. Momwe tingachitire izi, ndimomwe timakhalira owona ndi anzathu. Uwu ndiye ufulu womaliza muubwenzi uliwonse.
- Dzipatseni chidwi ndi chikondi
Ngati muli ndi chizolowezi chodzimva kuwawa kapena kusakondedwa ndi wokondedwa wanu, uwu nthawi zonse umakhala mwayi woti muchotse chidwi chanu kwa iwo ndi zomwe akuchita kapena zomwe sakuchita ndikudzipatsa nokha chikondi ndi chisamaliro chomwe mukufuna.
- Dziperekeni 'posadziwa'
Pomaliza, kulikonse komwe 'mukuyembekezera' kuti mnzanu abwere kukuwonetsa kuti mumakonda kwa iwo mukamachita zinthu mwanjira inayake.
Awa ndi malo abwino kuyamba kudzipereka osadziwa ngati mnzanu ayankhe.
Apanso, izi ndizowopsa pamalingaliro athu, chifukwa sizimakonda zosadziwika, koma zimathandiza kupatsa ubale wanu mpata wopumira.
Mwazomwe ndakumana nazo, izi zimaperekanso mwayi kwa mnzanuyo kuti awonetse m'njira zawo, zomwe zingakhale zodabwitsa.
Kuchita zoopsa kumathandiza
Mwa zokumana nazo zanga komanso kudzera pantchito yanga ndi makasitomala, tonsefe tili ndi kuthekera kopereka ndi kulandira chikondi chochuluka.
Zachidziwikire, kutsegula izi kumatanthauza kuti tikuyika pachiwopsezo ndipo zomwe sizingachitike ngati mnzathu sakuwonetsa zisonyezo zakufuna kukumana nafe komwe tikufuna kupita.
Komabe, izi zonse zimafikira pazomwe mumafuna muubwenzi wanu.
Kodi mungakonde wokondedwa wanu ndikudzipereka kuti mufufuze ngati pali mwayi wachikondi chachikulu, kapena mungafune kubisala, kukhala chete kapena kusalakwitsa nthawi iliyonse mukakumana ndi mavuto m'banja lanu?
Nthawi zonse ndikofunika kukumbukira kuti mbali zaubwenzi wathu zomwe sitingathe kuchilimbitsa pakadali pano zidzawululidwanso muubwenzi wathu wotsatira.
Kudzipereka kuthana ndi zovuta ndikukhala okonzeka kulakwitsa zilizonse zomwe zingachitike zitipangitsa kuti tikhale pa chikondi.
Kuyika pachiwopsezo posonyeza ukwati wanga kwandithandiza kupanga ubale 'weniweni', ndipo izi zitha kukhala chinthu chokongola. Ubale ndi wamtengo wapatali, ndipo ndikukulimbikitsani kuti muyime ndi masomphenya anu pazomwe mukufunadi mchikondi.