Zamkati
Dr. A John ndi a Julie Gottman amakambirana za lingaliro logawana tanthauzo muukwati. Tanthauzo logawanika ndi lomwe banja limapanga limodzi, ndipo monga tanthauzo lonse, limadalira zizindikilo. Zitsanzo za zizindikilo zikuphatikiza kunyumba, mwambo, ndi chakudya chamadzulo, ndipo tanthauzo la chizindikiro chothandiza tingalipeze ndi funso lakuti, “Kodi nyumba imatanthauzanji kwa inu?” Inde, nyumba ili yoposa makoma ndi denga la nyumba; nyumba imakhala ndi chiyembekezo chathu cha kulumikizana, chitetezo, chitetezo, ndi chikondi. Ndi malo ochitirako banja, kaya banja kapena banja lomwe lili ndi ana.
Kuphatikiza matanthauzo osiyana ndi zizindikilo zofunika kumatha kuyambitsa mikangano ndi kusamvana m'banja, makamaka popeza tanthauzo lake nthawi zambiri silimadziwika kapena kufotokozedwa. Talingalirani za mwamuna yemwe anakulira m'nyumba yamkati yamkati ngati mwana yekhayo wa mayi wopanda mayi. Kunyumba kwake makamaka anali malo ogona, osamba, ndi zovala, ndipo zochitika zambiri pagulu komanso pabanja, kuphatikiza kudya ndi homuweki, zimachitika kunja kwa nyumba. Mwamuna uyu akwatiwa ndi mkazi yemwe anakulira m'banja lalikulu omwe amadya chakudya chamadzulo limodzi kunyumba, nthawi zambiri amatsatira ndi masewera a makadi kapena zokambirana zosangalatsa zazomwe zachitika tsikuli. Akakwatirana, limodzi la mavuto oyamba omwe amakumana nawo ndi chikhumbo chawo chosiyana chokhala panyumba madzulo.
Chitsanzo: Kuyenda wapansi
Kuyenda ndikomwe ndimakonda kwambiri. Ndimakonda kwambiri kuyenda pakati pausiku, pomwe kulibe magalimoto othamanga mumsewu wathu wotanganidwa, ndipo sindiyenera kuzemba agalu akuyenda kapena oyandikana nawo akufuna kucheza. Sindimacheza ndi anthu, koma ndimakonda kuyenda ngati nthawi yanga yabwii kulingalira. Kwa ine, kuyandikira kwa mdima ndi chete ndi pempho lamphamvu kuti ndiyanjanenso ndi ine. Amuna anga, mbali inayi, ndiwololera omwe samakonda kudziwonetsera okha ndipo amawona kuti akuyenda pang'onopang'ono. Amada kuyenda!
Kumayambiriro kwa banja lathu ndidakwiya ndikudandaula kuti samayenda nane. Nditamuimba mlandu kuti ayende nane, zomwe zidamuchitikirazo sizinali zosangalatsa chifukwa sanafune kukhalapo ndipo mayendedwe athu nthawi zambiri ankakhala mikangano. Ndinaganiza kuti sikunali chilungamo kumupempha kuti ayende nane, ndipo ndinasiya kutero. Ndidawunikiranso chifukwa chake kuyenda ndi ine kunali kofunikira. Ndidazindikira kuti kugawana kagawo kakang'ono ka nthawi ndi malo kumapeto kwa masiku athu chinali chofunikira kwa ine - chizindikiro cholumikizira. Amuna anga akasankha kuti asayende nane, ndidatanthauzira ngati kukana kulumikizana ndi ine, ndipo zinandikwiyitsa. Nditazindikira kuti kusakhumba kwake kuyenda ndi ine sikunakhudze kapena kundikana banja lathu, ndidakhazikika.
Chosangalatsa ndichakuti, tsopano popeza sindimukankhanso, amuna anga amandipeza madzulo aliwonse kuyenda. Kwa iye, zikuyimira zolimbitsa thupi komanso mwayi wolingalira ndi ine, koma kwa ine, zimayankha kukhumba kwanga kulumikizana ndi amuna anga. Popeza takambirana izi, takhazikitsa tanthauzo latsopano, logawika mayendedwe athu-nthawi yomwe timadziwa kuti titha kudalirana kuti tizimvetsetsana, kuthandizana, komanso "kukhala" wina ndi mnzake.
Tengera kwina
Maanja akuyenera kudziwa tanthauzo la zizindikilozo ndi mafunso ochepa osavuta: Kodi zidatenga gawo lotani pazaka zanu zakukula? ” Kodi ukufuna chiyani? ” Pogwiritsa ntchito zokambirana za maanja, maanja angaphunzire zambiri za wina ndi mnzake komanso momwe angakwaniritsire zosowa za wina ndi mzake. Chida ichi ndichothandiza kwambiri pobwezeretsanso ubale ndi "ife-ness," womwe ndi maziko enieni a banja lolimba.